My oldest friend, I’m sorry I won’t be there when you wake up. We couldn’t risk getting dragged back to the Guild so we’ve gone into hiding. Eloped, actually. My Shura and me. But I wanted you to know that we’ll always come back should you need us. You found her for me and that is something I will spend the rest of my life repaying you for. I also discovered why the Guild couldn’t find me when I escaped. Shura. Shura was blocking any trace of me from their systems. Everywhere I went, she made sure no one followed, and now we’re together again because of you.
I’ve left all my details with Sally (who said Shura and I are destined for a strange but happy life together… ) so you’ll know how to get in touch initially. It may just take us a little bit of time to get back to you. I’ll find a way to let you know where we move on to when the time comes. Who knows where we’ll end up. Then again, who knows where you’ll end up. I assume the Guild will take some time to regroup. We caused a lot of damage when we destroyed their control panel. It was at the heart of all they did and without it, they’re stuck. But we must remain careful – they will find a way to return and I worry it will be more dangerous and painful than before. We’re safe for a while, though. We’ve got a head start so we need to make the most of it. There’s nothing you can’t do though, Cherry. When life tries to cut you down you seem to get taller and stronger.
You’re my hero.
Peter
P.S. I’m sorry about Loneliness but if it’s any consolation, it wouldn’t have lasted much longer, not now that Chase is around. He’s a really good guy.
P.P.S. I’m trying to quit “smoking”, I promise.
27
Loneliness Escapes
Cherry awoke with a start. It took her a moment to realise where she was: in her own bed in the flat above the bakery. Chase was lying next to her, his hand in hers. She tried to sit up and her whole body throbbed. She groaned in pain.
‘Who’s up? Oh, Cherry, you’re awake. What can I get? Are you hot? Cold? Thirsty? Hungry? I can get you anything you need?’ Margie stood up from her chair in the corner and ran downstairs before anyone could answer.
Bruce laughed. He was curled up on the rug on the floor. ‘She’s become a whole new woman in the last few days, Cherry!’
‘I think that’s your doing though, Bruce,’ Sally said, from her position at the foot of the bed.
‘What’s going on?’ Cherry croaked. Her lips were parched and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. ‘Why are you all here?’
‘You don’t remember?’ Sally said. ‘I was your getaway driver.’
‘Getaway driver?’ Cherry rubbed her head and tried to sit up again. Bits and pieces started coming back to her. The Guild. Chase. Peter. Shura. Happy. Loneliness. ‘I do remember but, Sally, how did you know where to find us?’
‘Your friend Peter. What an oddball he is! Such a fidget, he wouldn’t sit still the whole way there. Then again that lovely little thing that came back with him kept him quiet on the way home. He couldn’t stop looking at her and I don’t think it was because of all the blood. That reminds me,’ Sally dug into her bag and pulled out a piece of folded paper, ‘Peter asked me to give you this. I tried to make him stay until you were up and about but he seemed pretty adamant that they leave as soon as possible.’
Cherry felt an urgency start to boil in her own stomach. ‘We have to leave, too,’ she said, reaching for Chase’s hand. ‘Chase!’ She shook him lightly and then more vigorously as panic set in.
He woke abruptly, startled. ‘What’s going on?! Cherry, you’re awake!’ He sat up as quickly as he could, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. A rattling came from the stairs and Margie appeared in the doorway with a tray full of mugs and plates.
‘I didn’t know if you’d prefer tea or coffee so I made both and I’ve also brought up some biscuits but I thought then again maybe you might not have an —’
‘I’m sorry. We have to go. They’ll be looking for us.’ Cherry threw back the covers and despite the pounding in her head and the metallic taste of blood at the back of her throat she forced herself to stand. ‘We have to go.’
Margie quickly set the tray down on the floor and tried to steady Cherry. ‘Now, I don’t know what happened, but no one’s looking for you!’
Chase kicked the blanket off his legs and got out of bed quickly. He held Cherry’s gaze, knowing they were thinking the same thing, and then bolted out of the room and down into the bakery. Cherry strained her ears to listen and the panic bubbled harder when Chase’s footsteps were heavy and fast as he ran back upstairs.
‘We have to leave. Now,’ Chase said.
‘Are they here?’
‘The van’s outside but I can’t see anyone out there.’
‘Oh, God.’ Cherry sank onto the bed and put her head in her hands, the red strings swinging back and forth. Chase opened Cherry’s wardrobe, found her case and started to throw anything he could find into it. Cherry watched him as he frantically tried to close the zip when it was full but it whined at his efforts.
‘Chase, is this what it’s going to be like?’ she whispered. ‘Running all the time?’
‘I don’t know, Cherry. We’ll talk about it later.’
‘We can’t keep running,’ she said.
‘We have to! Right now, that’s our only choice.’ He hit the top of the suitcase.
‘I’m not sure what’s going on here,’ Margie said, ‘but it really can’t be so bad that you have to leave.’
‘No, you don’t understand – if we stay, we could be killed,’ Chase said.
‘Killed?!’ Margie gasped.
‘What was that place, Cherry?’ Sally sat next to Cherry and put her arms around her. ‘Tell me what’s going on.’
Cherry hesitated. She’d kept her secrets for so long, she didn’t know where to begin. ‘Chase and I aren’t like most people. We see the world differently. And that was a place that… tries to put a stop to that.’ Cherry chose her words carefully.
‘We know you and Chase aren’t like the rest of us. You never have been.’ Sally shot a sideways glance at Chase. ‘If running away right now means not getting hurt then you need to run but Cherry’s right, Chase. You can’t run for ever.’
‘I know we can’t. We’ll figure it out, but right now…’ Chase pulled the case off the bed and wheeled it to the door.
Margie took Cherry by the hands and helped her to stand. ‘This is all a little over my head, love, but you need to be safe. Whatever it is that’s making you think you’re not safe, then get away from it until you are safe.’ Margie pulled Cherry in tight to her chest and hugged her hard. Cherry sank into the hug, grateful for the unbidden kindness.
‘How do we get out of here without being seen?’ Chase asked.
‘Is there a back door?’ Bruce suggested.
‘There is, but it leads out into an alley that loops back around to the front of the shops. We’ll be seen no matter what,’ Cherry explained.
‘Take my car. It’s parked outside.’ Sally pulled her keys out of her pocket and pressed them into Chase’s hand. ‘You can thank me later.’ She winked and Chase kissed the top of her head.
‘Listen, Sally, I’m so sorry. About my mum and my aunt. And for me. Had I known, I would have stepped in and —’
‘We can’t help who we’re related to and I don’t hold their wrongdoings against you. It wasn’t your fault. Now GO! This isn’t goodbye, so stop trying to make me emotional. We’ll see you again.’
‘Don’t be a stranger, you hear?’ Bruce said, reaching up to squeeze Cherry’s hand. He looked taken aback, unsure of what was happening, but he knew his friends were leaving and that made him sad.
‘We’re so grateful you moved here,’ Margie said, taking Bruce’s other hand. ‘You changed my life.’
Cherry looked between Margie and Bruce and saw the mutual affection there and she smiled. ‘Take care of each other,’ she whispered, a lump forming in her throat.
‘Cherry,’ Chas
e called.
‘I know. Come on.’
They walked downstairs as though they were part of a funeral procession. Margie and Bruce led the way, Chase took Cherry’s case as she gingerly walked behind him and Sally took up the solemn rear.
‘Are we going to have to make a run for it?’ Cherry ducked halfway down the flight of stairs and peered round the corner. All she could see was the blue van parked outside. No sign of blue suits, white coats or Feelers in yellow.
‘I think so,’ Chase said. ‘Best to be as quick as possible.’
‘I say go now rather than wait for something to happen,’ said Bruce, rolling up his sleeves. Chase went to open the door.
‘Wait!’ Cherry ran to him and held the bell still. ‘Okay, now.’
Chase opened the door and they ran to Sally’s old car. Chase slung the case in the back seat and ran to the driver’s side while Cherry hopped in the passenger side. Chase put the key in the ignition and started the car.
Then the bell above the door rang out as Sally slammed the door closed and shouted ‘CHERRY!’ and Cherry looked up and saw them. Blocking the end of the road was a human wall of blue suits and two more vans.
‘Shit,’ Chase said.
Cherry reached for Chase’s hand but he shifted the gear stick into first and took off the hand brake.
‘Chase! You can’t run them over!’ She yelled as the car started moving.
‘Why not?’
‘Chase!’
BANG!
At first Cherry thought they were shooting at them but when she looked up, the blue suits were unarmed and starting to back away. The bang had come from above them and when she looked up, two large footprints were imprinted on the roof.
‘What the —’
BANG!
Something jumped down onto the bonnet, tipping them forwards, the back tyres coming off the cobbles and then thumping back down as Loneliness leaped off the car. It turned to look over its shoulder and grinned at Cherry.
‘But how…’
‘I don’t understand…’
Chase and Cherry looked at each other in disbelief.
Loneliness let out a roar and the windows of all the shopfronts rattled. It roared again and they shattered, shards of glass raining onto the street. It scratched at the cobbles with its claws and beat the ground with its fists and then it ran straight for the blue suits. Some of them ran away but others stayed, foolishly thinking they could take on the monster – but they had no idea how strong it was. Without a moment’s thought, Loneliness tossed them aside like they were nothing.
‘No!’ Cherry screamed, her eyes widening in horror. Chase’s face paled.
This wasn’t the Loneliness Cherry had spent most of her life with. This… beast was violent, dangerous, murderous. One by one, it picked up the blue suits and tore them apart, limb from limb. Cherry tried to block out the screaming but it was no good – she’d remember that sound for the rest of her life.
‘We have to help them,’ she sobbed.
‘It’s too late, Cherry,’ Chase said through his own tears. ‘They’re all gone.’
Cherry couldn’t bring herself to have one last look at the town she’d come to love or her old friend Loneliness. She didn’t want her last memory to be stained in blood, so she closed her eyes as she and Chase sped past the chaos and away, for good.
Dear Peter, We’re safe. I think. As safe as we can be while the Guild is still in business, but I don’t think I’ll ever be happy with a life on the run. I’ve always tackled everyone’s issues head on but now that it’s me I have to save, I have to run away? I know I don’t really have another option. It could be life or death but it just feels so… wrong.
There is one thing that helps me sleep at night though, Peter, and I hope it may give you some comfort too. Something that the Guild overlooked. Something that I didn’t realise until now, either. On the day we left Plymouth, Loneliness came back to save us. It had escaped, Peter! It found us and saved us but… it wasn’t the Loneliness I knew. It was violent and brutal and more terrifying than I had ever seen. It had become an actual… monster. Loneliness had been mine since I was a child. It had been with me for seventeen years and not once had it been violent. Not once had it raised even the smallest finger to me. I was the only one it could touch and it never hurt me, not physically. Meddlums are still able to influence us. They can still stop us from being who we want to be and make us be someone completely unlike ourselves and yet Loneliness had never once made me violent or been violent itself. If it had violent tendencies, why did it never make me do violent things? I think it’s because I had as much influence over Loneliness as it had over me! I can see that now. No one can help how they feel so I was stuck with Loneliness. But I had a choice. I could let Loneliness consume me for the rest of my life, give in to it and let it control me like a puppet… or I could fight back. When it would whisper in my ear and tell me to lash out at those I loved, to push them away, I’d say no. When it tried to keep me lonely I would hold it at arm’s length and… it would listen. I pushed it away so much that I accidentally drew a line across the door of my bakeries so it couldn’t come in. I created a safe space for myself that Loneliness had no choice but to respect because, while I couldn’t control its existence, I could control how much I let it dictate my life. Which is why when it was finally free of me, it was able to cause so much devastation. It killed people, Peter. I created it and my creation killed people. I will have that on my conscience until the day I die. Something I gave life to took life from others. It’s made so many other people feel lonely but I know the blame is not all mine. It never would have been real had it not been for the Guild and all I can do now is make sure I’m ready for the day they show their faces to me again.
For now, Chase and I are happy. Very, in fact. According to him we’re surrounded by Happiness constantly. He’s become part of me and my life so fast it’s as if he’s always been here and it becomes almost unbearable when he disappears for too long. I didn’t get to see much of it when we were in Plymouth but Chase’s smile could light up a small town and I’m so pleased I’ve been seeing more and more of it as the days go on. You’ll be glad to know that I haven’t stopped baking. I don’t think I ever will. I don’t know when this fight with the Guild will start again, or if it will ever end, but I know we’re the good guys. The ones who want to help people are always the good guys – and we do it without electrocuting people, gouging eyes out and removing what makes us human. So we have to keep doing what we do best. We have to keep helping people fight their demons. The good way. The way that allows them to keep being humans with all those gorgeous, glorious feelings and show them that we hurt so much because we care so much. You can’t have rainbows without rain. It’s true – truer than most people will ever realise but that’s why the world has us. That’s why the world needs us.
So it can feel.
x
*
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WHEN THE CURTAIN FALLS
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Acknowledgements
Oh, I do love this bit! Thanking all the incredible people that helped make this book in your hands a reality.
Firstly, where would I be without my brilliant agent Hannah Ferguson! Your continued support, advice and faith in me is astounding and I can’t thank you enough for all you do! My editor, Manpreet Grewal, I honestly don’t know how you do it. I send you mad idea after mad idea and you warmly embrace each and every one. I dread the day you tell me I’ve gone too far! Stephanie Melrose, book flapper extraordinaire, ‘come forth’ and accept your thanks! Book events and signings can be daunting experiences but I know if you’re at the helm, all will go swimmingly. To the designer, Bekki Guyatt, and illustrator, Helen Crawford-White, of this book’s cover: you’ve done it again! Beautiful, as always! To Thal
ia Proctor, Amy Donegan, Marie Hrynczak and the Sales team, especially Sara Talbot: your work on my work… works. Thank you SO MUCH for everything you do! Also, to the whole team at Little, Brown, you’re the dream team! Please never leave my side?!
Secondly, to my incredible, crazy (or incredibly crazy) family. Mum and Dad, I think all my characters have dysfunctional parental relationships because all I’ve ever known is a brilliant one and so evil mothers and fathers who aren’t there for their daughters have only ever been fiction. I love you both so much and you’re both responsible for this overactive imagination. I hope you’re happy! Tom, Gi, Buzz and Buddy AKA SUPERFAM! You’re like a human wall of wonder and a constant source of inspiration and love. Thank you! And, of course, my nan and grandad. I’ll be round for cake and tea more often, I promise.
Thirdly, to all at Curtis Brown who constantly support my endeavours and indulge my crazy moments where I want to take on everything all at once. You come to every opening night and you’re there for hugs, tears and drinks at closing and every single one of you is a gem. Alastair, Helen, Fran, Jess, Emma and Flo. You’re the dream team.
Fourthly, to everyone who helped inspire the character and the story within these pages. (This list may be a long one.) This book was written spanning three casts in three different shows, so to the cast of the UK tour of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, you’re all marvellous creatures who put up with me turning down nights out in order to sit in bed in my slippers with a cup of tea to finish the next chapter. The Chitty lot even threw me a book publication party on a hectic matinee day between two shows and just the thought of it still makes me emotional! Then there’s the Dubai cast of Les Misérables who kept me sane as I sat in the sun writing, writing, writing, writing, writing whilst you all splashed about in the pool but you also dragged me out of the hotel on days off and made sure I didn’t miss any of the incredible city we were in. Then there’s my newest family… The Addams Family! You accepted me and all my bookishness instantly without a moment’s hesitation. It was unconditional family love from the start and I hope you all know: it’s mutual!