I bowed my head. “It was part of what I set out to do. ”
He replied not to that, but said, “Before you secretly left Buckkeep Castle, the last time we convened to discuss the kidnapping, in Verity’s tower, I asked you if you remembered that I was your king. ”
I gave a slow nod.
For a time longer, he sat looking at me. Then he slowly shook his head. “Prince FitzChivalry, I speak to you as your monarch. I called you here today to remind you, again, that I am your king. To remind you also that you are Prince FitzChivalry, and fully in the public eye. I regret that in the midst of our grief, this is what we must discuss. But I dare not let you continue as you’ve begun!” He paused and I saw him strive to retain his composure.
“I repeat what I mentioned yesterday. There is more going on in Buckkeep than our private tragedy. More going on than Lord Chade coming unraveled and you being unpredictable with your Skill. More going on than announcing that Nettle is my cousin, and is married and with child. More than us trying to reconcile Tom Badgerlock and Prince FitzChivalry and dealing with someone trying to kill Lant, and Shine’s stepfather attempting to murder Lord Chade. The Six Duchies and the Mountain Kingdom form a very large gaming board, and there are many pieces in motion, always. Beyond our borders, we have Chalced and the Out Islands, Bingtown and Jamaillia. And we have dragons, and each dragon is like dealing with a separate country, when they are interested in negotiating at all. ”
His voice had begun to shake. He paused a moment and I sensed that he fought to get his feelings under control. Yet when he spoke again, it was the hurt that came through more than his displeasure with me.
“Always before, I’ve been able to count on you. To know that you had the best interest of the Six Duchies at heart, and would be honest with me even if it pained me to hear what you had to say. Always I felt I could trust you. At the very least, I knew that you would never do anything to cause me greater difficulties with my reign. I don’t forget what you’ve done for me. How you brought me back from my ill-considered flight to the Old Bloods, and how you accompanied me to free Icefyre and win my queen. I know that you’ve intervened on my behalf with both my mother and with Lord Chade, to assert that I was to be king in truth as well as in name. I hold this throne in part because of your efforts to see me secure upon it. ”
He paused. I was looking at the ground between us. He waited until I lifted my eyes to meet his. “FitzChivalry Farseer, why did you take this action on your own? You could have challenged my plan, given me your reasons. I would have listened, as you have listened to me. Why did you not entrust me with your plans?”
I told him the truth. “I knew you would forbid it. And then I would have to disobey you. ”
He sat a little straighter on his throne. “You did disobey me. You know that. ”
I did. I felt childish as I tempered it with, “Not directly. ”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. This does no honor to either of us. Fitz, you have stepped out of the shadows and into the sunlight where everything you do will be scrutinized. Because you are so newly restored to us, even your smallest action is of great interest and fuel for gossip. I am not Chade, able to invent an instant veil of lies to drape whatever you do in respectability. ” He drew a breath in my silence. “Report. Leave nothing out. Tell me all you did not share with my mother and your daughter. Report to me as if I were Chade. ”
I forgot myself. “How is Chade?”
“Somewhat better. You may go from here to his chamber and see for yourself. Later. Prince FitzChivalry Farseer, I am not reporting to you. Give me an account of all you did since you decided to leave Buckkeep Castle. Spare me nothing. ”
I made my decision quickly. Perhaps it was time my king truly knew me. Perhaps his assassins should not conceal the dirty work they did for the throne. And what I was capable of doing for myself. And so I told him, and left out no detail. I spoke of drugging my companions, and how I had taken both carris seed and elfbark. And then I told him in detail of what I had done to the handsome rapist and to “Duke” Ellik.
He did not interrupt my account. His expression remained impassive. When I finished, he was silent for some time. I tried to be unobtrusive as I shifted my weight. He looked down on me. Did he evaluate me and find me wanting? Did he wish he had never drawn me out of the shadows?
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“Prince FitzChivalry Farseer. You were a witness to my trying to run away from who and what I was. You reminded me of my duty and brought me back to it.
“I know you have not always been treated as if you were a prince. You have been given duties ill suited to your bloodlines, trained to tasks that should never have been yours. Or Chade’s. I know it was my grandfather’s will that put both of you on that path.
“And now it is my will that removes you from it. ” He waited while I tried to make sense of his words. “Do you understand me? I see you don’t. Very well. Prince FitzChivalry Farseer, you are never again to consider yourself an assassin. Never to be the one to do the so-called quiet work or be the king’s justice. My justice will be rendered in daylight, before all. Not by poison or a knife in the dark. Now do you understand me?”
I nodded slowly. My head was spinning. So many times, over decades of my life, I had protested that I did not want to kill anymore. Over and over, I had said that I was no longer an assassin. But now my king snatched the title and those duties away from me, and it felt like a rebuke. I blinked. Not a husband. Scarcely a father. And not an assassin. What was left of me?
Had he sensed my question? “You will behave as befits a prince of the Farseer line. With honor and dignity. With courtesy. You will share the wisdom of your years with my sons and assist in guiding them through their early manhood. If I choose to send you on a diplomatic mission, you will go to negotiate, not poison someone! As Prince FitzChivalry Farseer. ”
Each time he said my full name with that title attached to it, I almost felt as if he were reciting a magic spell of binding. As if he would set a boundary around me. I found I was nodding slowly. Was this what the Fool had meant? Someone would find a life for me. And what he was describing was not so terrible. So why did it feel so hollow?
He was still staring at me.
I bowed gravely. “I understand, my king. ”
“Say it. ” His words were stiff with command.
I drew a breath. The words I spoke seemed almost traitorous. “I am no longer your assassin, King Dutiful. I am to comport myself always as Prince FitzChivalry Farseer. ”
“No. ” He spoke precisely. “Not ‘comport. ’ Be. You are Prince FitzChivalry Farseer. ”
I hesitated. “Lady Rosemary—”
“Is Lady Rosemary. ” Finality in that.
Questions darted about in my mind like trapped fish in a barrel.
“Prince FitzChivalry, I will look forward to seeing you at dinner this evening. ”
I winced at the thought of plunging back into court life. He said more quietly, “Stand with your family, FitzChivalry. This is something we will bear together. ”
That was a dismissal. I bowed again. “My king,” I said, and withdrew.
I was completely distracted as I passed through the antechamber and back into the corridors of Buckkeep Castle. I had no destination in mind when I heard a soft patter of hasty footsteps behind me. I turned to find Spark hurrying to catch up with me. “Sir, please, a moment!” Her cheeks were very pink and I knew a spike of terror. What had happened to the Fool?
But when she caught up to me, her news could not have startled me more. “Sir, I wished to let you know that I’ve finished moving your things to your new chambers. ”
“My new chambers?”
“Rooms more fitting to your, um, new standing, sir. ” Spark was plainly as uneasy with this as I was. She dangled a shining brass key attached to a braided silk fob. “You have the Heliotrope apartments now. ”
I st
ared at her.
“I was told that they were once occupied by Lady Patience and her staff. ”
Her staff. One serving woman. But the suite was substantially larger than my single bedchamber. Just down the hall from Lord Chade. With no access to the spy-warren. I was staring at Spark still.
“Of course, they’ve been redone since she lived there. Several times, I imagine. They’re very nice, sir. There’s a splendid view of the sea and you can look down on the gardens. ”
“Yes. I know,” I said faintly.
“And your friend is to occupy the chambers once given to Lord Golden. Familiar rooms for him, though I am not to divulge that to anyone save you. I am to serve him now. As well as you, of course. I’ll have a room that is part of his chambers. ”
A room I once occupied. I found my voice. “It sounds as if you’ve had a change in occupation as well. ”
She shook her head and a curl escaped from her cap to dance on her brow. “Oh, no, sir, I’ve been a serving girl since I came to Buckkeep Castle. ” She smiled but there was worry in her eyes. We shared that anxiety.
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“Of course you have. Thank you. ”
“Oh, your key, sir. Here. To your new chambers. ”
“Thank you. ” I accepted it gravely. “I think I shall call on Lord Chade now. ”
“As you will, sir, I’m sure. ” She curtsied again, this time with a bit of a flourish, then turned and hurried off. I made my way to Chade’s chambers, suspecting that he was behind these changes, for some arcane reason of his own. I expected he would explain everything to me.
I tapped on the door, and a servant admitted me. I turned toward his bedchamber, but the serving man waved toward the sitting room instead. I breathed a sigh of relief. He was better, then.
His sitting room was decorated in moss green and acorn brown. A handsome portrait of King Shrewd in his prime hung over the fireplace. A warm and spicy aroma from a steaming pot flavored the air. Chade, attired in a soft dressing gown, was seated by the fire. Shine sat in a cushioned chair across from him, a cup in her hands. She wore a simple and modest dress, and the green brought out her eyes. Her hair was braided and coiled at the back of her neck. Kettricken’s influence, I was certain. They both looked toward me as I entered. Shine seemed apprehensive to see me.
But it was Chade who stopped me in my tracks. He smiled at me benevolently. It was an old man’s gentle, bemused smile. In the short time since I’d last seen him, he’d aged. I could see the shape of his skull beneath the thinning flesh on his face. His eyes looked almost glassy. I wondered for an instant if he recognized me. Then, “Oh, there you are, my boy. Just in time. Shine has made us some tea. It’s lovely. Would you care for some?”
“What kind is it? I don’t recognize the fragrance. ” I advanced slowly into the room. Chade gestured to a chair beside his own, and I cautiously sank into it.
“Oh, it’s tea, you know. Made from spices and whatnot. Ginger, I think. Licorice root, perhaps? It’s sweet. And spicy. Very pleasant on a cold day. ”
“Thank you,” I said, for Shine had already poured a cup and was offering it to me. I smiled as I took it. “It’s almost as if you were expecting me. ”
“Oh, it’s always nice to have company. I was hoping Lant would come by. Have you met my boy Lant?”
“Yes. Yes, I have. You sent him to me at Withywoods, remember? To be a teacher for my little girl. For Bee. ”
“I did? Yes, yes. A teacher. Lant would do well at that. He’s a kind soul. A gentle soul. ”
He was nodding as he spoke. No. Not nodding. It was a palsy, a shaking of his head. I glanced at Shine. She met my gaze, but said nothing.
“Chade. Please,” I said, not knowing what I asked for. “Are you well?”
“He’s well enough,” Shine said, warning me. “When no one makes him fret. Or brings up unpleasant things. ” I wondered if she were not in much the same state.
I lifted the cup of tea to my mouth and let it lap against my lip as I smelled it. No herbs that I knew as medicine. I watched Shine take a sip of hers. Her gaze met mine. “There are some calming herbs in the tea as well. But they are very mild. ”
“Very mild,” Chade agreed and again gave me an unnervingly genial smile.
I broke my gaze from his and addressed Shine directly. “What’s wrong with him?”
She gave me a puzzled look. “My father seems fine to me. He’s glad to have me here. ”
Chade nodded. “I am that,” he agreed.
Shine spoke quietly. “He’s stopped using the Skill to hide his aging. He mustn’t use it anymore, nor the herbs he was using. ”
I let my gaze wander the room, trying to suppress the panic that was rising in me. From his portrait, King Shrewd looked down on me. His keen glance and determined Farseer chin only reminded me the more sharply of how his mind had faded and faltered before his time, a victim of his wasting illness, his pain and the drugs he took to suppress it. Something in Shine’s words snagged on my thoughts.
“How do you know that? That he can’t use the Skill?”
She looked mildly startled, as if I’d asked a rude question. “Lady Nettle, the Skillmistress, told me. She explained he had used it to excess, in ways that exceeded his ability to control. She said she could not explain it to me perfectly, as I don’t have that magic. But she said he was vulnerable now. That he must not try to Skill, and no one must try to Skill to him. ”
I answered the question she didn’t ask. “I’m no danger to him. I drank a very strong elfbark tea, to be sure that Vindeliar could not cloak my thoughts and perceptions. It takes away the ability to Skill. And it has not come back. ”
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“Vindeliar,” she said and went pale. Her calm façade cracked and I saw a brutalized woman clinging fiercely to the reassuring trellis of clean clothing, a warm bed, and regular meals. Once one knows what heartless people can do, it cannot be entirely forgotten. It always remains among the possible things that can befall you.
“You’re safe,” I said uselessly.
She looked at me. “For now,” she said quietly. “But Bee is not. She bit him to set me free. And I fled. ”
“It’s a thing done,” I said woodenly. “Don’t dwell on it. ”
Silence fell. Chade smiled on. I wondered what other herbs he’d been using.
Shine spoke suddenly. “Badg—Prince FitzChivalry. I want to say I’m sorry. ”
I looked aside from her. “You already said that, Shine. When we first found you. It wasn’t your fault they took Bee. ”
“I’m sorry for more than that,” she said quietly.
I reined us away from that topic. “Do you know why Bee bit the man holding on to you instead of the White gripping her?”
She shook her head. A silence fell in the room and I let it grow. Some things are not made any better by discussing them.
“The Skill,” I said quietly. That brought her eyes back to me. “Has anyone spoken to you about it? That as a Farseer, you may have inherited a talent for it?”
She looked startled. “No. ”
“Well. ” How did I approach this? Obviously, Chade had not removed the block he had put upon her. Nettle knew she had Skill and knew she was sealed. Was it my place at all to intervene? I took a breath and set myself on the safer path. “Well, you might. I am sure that when they feel the time is right, they will test you for the Skill. And if you possess it, they will give you the training to master it. ” I was sure that any such training would be far different from the harsh lessons I’d been subjected to.
“She has it. ”
We both turned to look at Chade. His head was still doing that tiny sideways wobble that was almost like a nod.
“I do?” Shine lit suddenly, glowed with excitement.
“You do. Of course you do. And you are strong in it. ” Chade’s smile grew stronger and
for just an instant his green eyes were as piercing as ever as he focused his gaze on her. “Do you not recall how you sought me out in my dreams? How you, untrained and unknowing, used your Farseer magic to find me? My … beloved … daughter. ” He spoke each word clearly and separately. His eyes never left Shine’s face. Something passed between them, something special and private, and I knew with a lurch what he had done. Her Skill-seal had been words that he was certain only he would ever speak to her. Who else would call her beloved and daughter in the same breath?
Their eyes were locked and I realized they were breathing in unison. Shine’s lips formed an unspoken word. Papa. The stillness in the room felt like a deep pool. I watched them, unable to tell what was happening, unable to decide if it was wonderful or terrible.
I heard the outer door of Chade’s chamber open. Steady’s voice preceded him. “You know he isn’t supposed to Skill, Fitz!”
“It’s not me,” I said, and saw the shock on his face as he entered the room. He looked from Chade to Shine and then opened his eyes wide and in that instant, I knew that he called for Nettle. His gaze flashed back to me. “She should stop! Lady Shine, please, please stop. It may be the death of him. ”
“Stop?” she said and her voice was that of a dreamer who speaks in her sleep. “It’s my papa. I thought he had forgotten about me. Or abandoned me. ”
“Never,” Chade vowed, and the strength in his voice made me wonder if she was not restoring him rather than destroying him.
“I don’t know what to do!” Steady confessed.
“Nor I,” I admitted. It seemed a very long time before I again heard Chade’s door open. This time it was Nettle, very pink in her cheeks, and a tall woman I had never met before. She seemed to take it all in at a glance. Nettle glanced at her companion. “We separate them. Very gently. I will help Lord Chade restore his walls. See if you can help the girl. Steady, be prepared to help. ” My daughter spared me one glance. “It would be better if you were not here. I can feel him plucking at you again, trying to draw you into the current. ”
“I’ll go,” I said, stifling both my fear and reluctance. I was useless and perhaps worse than useless here. A hindrance to them. I did not doubt what Nettle told me and yet it stung my pride that she dismissed me so that she might do her work. What was Burrich’s old saying? As useless as teats on a bull. That was me. I was becoming very weary of being useless and incompetent.