Page 21 of All My Secrets


  I spin round. Gavin emerges across the grass through a haze of smoke. He has Josh in a tight grip, a gun at his throat.

  Josh’s eyes glitter with fury. And fear.

  Gavin cocks the gun.

  ‘Don’t.’ My voice cracks. ‘Please.’

  ‘Get back inside the house, Evie,’ Gavin orders. ‘Or I shoot him.’

  Thirty-seven

  ‘You wouldn’t,’ I gasp.

  ‘Don’t test me, Evie,’ Gavin snaps. ‘I make my living taking things from people. You’ve got no idea who I am.’

  I stare at him. ‘You’re a gangster, just like my dad said.’

  Gavin meets my gaze, his eyes cold and narrow. ‘Inside, darling,’ he snarls.

  He’s ordering me into a blazing house. To die. Fear seizes me like a fist.

  ‘It’s going to be OK,’ Josh says softly.

  ‘Shut your mouth.’ Gavin prods the barrel of his gun against Josh’s throat.

  I gulp. ‘How about if I agree to give you all the money I’m going to get from Irina?’ I plead. ‘I’ll sign anything you want if you just let us go.’

  Gavin shakes his head. ‘What? So you’re free to go straight to the police? I don’t think so.’

  I keep my gaze on Josh. His eyes flicker sideways, to the gun at his neck. He’s going to try and wrench it away. My stomach lurches. No, he mustn’t, it’s too dangerous.

  ‘Just . . . just please put the gun down,’ I plead.

  ‘Get inside.’ Gavin indicates the door behind him. Smoke pours out of it, flames licking around the edges.

  I walk over, my legs shaking. Josh stiffens, readying himself. I keep my eyes on the gun. I’m trembling all over. I don’t have what it takes to get a gun off a fully-grown man. That needs strength and timing and guts. I look around. Smoke is billowing all over the garden. I can’t see further than a few metres in front of me in any direction. I have no idea where the others are. Far away I hope.

  ‘You can do it.’ Josh’s whisper is soft and steady. ‘Just tell me when.’

  I glance up.

  ‘Stop mumbling.’ Gavin pokes the gun against Josh’s neck. ‘What are you saying?’

  Josh wants me to help him wrestle the gun away from Gavin, but I can’t. I shake my head. Josh stares at me. You can, he mouths.

  I grit my teeth, hope unfurling inside me. If Josh has faith in me, maybe I should have some in myself.

  ‘Tell me—’ Gavin starts.

  ‘Now,’ I whisper.

  In a single move, Josh rams his head back and up, knocking against Gavin’s chin. Gavin staggers back, his fingers loosening their grip on the gun. I grab his wrist, racing round to his side, forcing the weapon away from Josh.

  With a roar, Josh breaks free. He turns and throws a punch into Gavin’s ribs.

  Gavin chokes. I twist his wrist. The gun falls to the ground. I snatch it up and back away. Josh shoves Gavin to the grass, just as Kit and Pepper race over.

  Before Gavin can yell out, Kit hurls himself down, his arm at Gavin’s throat. Josh drops to his knees and pins one of Gavin’s legs, then the other. Pepper grapples with his arms. I fling the gun into the bushes and race over to help.

  ‘Get the wire.’ Pepper indicates the length of electrical cord trailing from the lamp base I threw through the window earlier.

  I grab the wire, yank it from the base and wind the ends around Gavin’s wrists.

  ‘Get off me!’ he splutters.

  Kit presses harder against his throat as a ray of sunlight breaks through the dawn sky. It glints off the buttons on Gavin’s jacket, then his belt buckle.

  ‘Use that,’ I urge.

  Josh tugs the belt out and together we bind Gavin’s ankles, while Pepper fastens the thick wire more tightly around his wrists, pulling his arms so he can’t move.

  ‘Stop! Stop!’ Gavin yells.

  ‘Oh, make him shut up for goodness’ sake,’ Pepper snarls.

  Kit tugs off his T-shirt, rips it into strips and binds it tightly around Gavin’s mouth.

  Panting, the four of us step back. Gavin writhes on the damp grass, his shouts muffled by the T-shirt.

  ‘That’s better,’ Pepper says, dusting her hands.

  ‘Where are Anna and Samuel?’ I ask.

  ‘In the field beyond the garden,’ Kit says.

  ‘What about Bunnock?’ I ask.

  ‘As far as we can see, the evil bitch didn’t make it out of the fire,’ Pepper snarls.

  ‘Oh.’ I look at the stone house, engulfed in flames. The sky beyond is pale grey with pink swirls – too beautiful for the ugliness that has gone on beneath. Whatever Miss Bunnock has done, and been prepared to do, I wouldn’t wish such a death on anyone.

  ‘She’s gone,’ Kit says flatly.

  I glance at Josh. His face is pale and drawn; he’s bent over Gavin, searching his pockets. ‘Are you OK?’ I ask.

  He gives me a curt nod, then draws Gavin’s mobile out of his jacket pocket.

  ‘We should call the police,’ he says.

  ‘And I need to call my dad,’ I say.

  There’s a pause, then Pepper raises an eyebrow.

  ‘Oh good,’ she says sardonically. ‘Because another one of your relatives, Evie, is just what we need right now.’

  I grin. ‘Don’t worry, my dad’s solid.’ I imagine his kindly face. ‘Actually, my dad’s the best dad in the world.’

  Thirty-eight

  Three hours pass and the sun rises high in the sky, burning away all the remaining clouds. We have left the cottage – now cordoned off and swarming with police officers – and been taken to the nearest hospital. After being examined by doctors and given a change of clothes, the six of us are interviewed individually by police officers, a social worker sitting beside us. The two women who listen to me are lovely, sympathetic as I cry, describing everything that happened yesterday and today. At last, the commotion dies down and Pepper, Kit, Josh and I sit in a small, private room, waiting for our families to come and pick us up. I’ve spoken briefly to Dad. He was devastated when I told him how we nearly died – and deeply shocked about Gavin. He and Mum are on their way here now.

  Mr Lomax arrived at the hospital earlier this morning, ashen­faced with horror at the danger we’ve all been in – and at Miss Bunnock’s betrayal. He told us he returned to Lightsea in the middle of last night and, before he even found out we were missing, Bunnock had tricked her way onto the boat that brought him and persuaded its captain to take her back to the mainland.

  ‘She said something about a personal emergency so I let her go, though it seemed strange. Once I got up to the house and found out not only that you were missing but that she hadn’t said anything . . . that’s when I became really suspicious, but by then she was well away.’

  Mr Lomax asks each of us in turn to give an account of the past twenty-four hours. Shame-faced, he confirms what Gavin told me about Irina being a mental patient at Lightsea about eighteen years ago, when his father was in charge. However, he refuses to explain more, insisting I talk to Dad.

  ‘I apologise for lying to you about your birth mother, but your father was adamant about that and it’s for him to tell you why.’

  Mr Lomax leaves in the late morning to accompany a weeping Anna to the police station where she’s going to be reunited with her mother and formally interviewed. Samuel goes too – collected by his mother, a harassed-looking woman who doesn’t speak to anyone else. I hug him goodbye. Well, I try to hug him, but he feels so stiff and awkward that in the end I let him go.

  ‘Thanks for trying to help me,’ I say. Samuel opens his mouth as if he’s about to tell me another weird fact. Then he just shuts it, nods and leaves.

  Parting from Anna is completely different. She’s in floods of tears, still apologizing for her part in nearly getting us killed. The others each tell her that they forgive her, that they understand she was tricked and manipulated.

  Everyone is kind and generous. Even Pepper. Everyone except me.

 
It’s just too hard. I still feel furious when I think of how Anna lied about her mum being dead, then dressed up in that coat and hat to trick me into thinking I was haunted by my mother’s ghost.

  Still, as Josh points out, at least Anna tried to help me. There’s no such excuse for Uncle Gavin and Miss Bunnock. I can’t bring myself to think about them. All I know is that the police officers who interviewed us are certain Gavin will go to prison for a long time. They confirm that Miss Bunnock’s body was found in the ruins of the house, that she must have got trapped in the fire, unable to follow Gavin out.

  ‘Wow, so everything that happened was about your inheritance?’ says Pepper, sitting forward in her chair. ‘Does that mean that you’re, like, totally rich now?’

  ‘I guess I will be at the end of the month,’ I say, though right now the prospect of inheriting millions in a few weeks doesn’t feel real.

  ‘Cool!’ Pepper grins. ‘Just don’t let it turn you into a total arse like it did my dad.’

  I grin back. ‘I promise I won’t be any more of an arse than you are.’

  Another hour goes by. Kit, Pepper and I swap phone numbers. Pepper gives hers to Josh and he says he will call her. He doesn’t bother to ask for Kit’s. Or mine. And I’m too self-conscious to ask for his.

  Kit sits next to me, holding my hand and occasionally suggesting we go for a walk along the corridor to get some privacy. I point out that there’s a police officer stationed on the other side of the door.

  ‘He’ll follow us if we go too far,’ I whisper so that Josh and Pepper can’t hear. ‘We wouldn’t have any privacy.’

  ‘Then I want to come home with you when your dad picks you up,’ Kit whispers back.

  I can’t see Dad agreeing to that. Which makes me feel relieved. Which makes me feel mean. I keep looking over at Josh, but since our escape from Gavin he’s been strangely quiet and is now, in the absence of his MP3player and guitar, hunched over a music magazine he’s picked from the selection on the hospital waiting-room table.

  Perhaps he’s gone off me. I could hardly blame him after what my uncle has put him through. Or perhaps he never really liked me in the way I imagined. After all, he’s never actually talked about how he felt. When I think about it, nothing more than that single brush of the lips has ever passed between us.

  Maybe he doesn’t like me that much after all.

  As I hunker down in my chair, the door is flung open and a tall, elegant woman rushes inside.

  ‘Peps,’ she breathes. ‘Oh, Peps, are you all right?’

  Pepper jumps to her feet, her cheeks flushing. ‘I’m fine, er, Mum, I—’

  ‘Oh, come here, darling.’ The woman extends her arms. She is very slim and dressed in a dark green coat that fits like it’s been specially made for her. Which, I reflect, it quite possibly has. Diamonds glitter on her fingers.

  Pepper submits to the hug as a big black man strides into the room. His suit looks as expensive as the woman’s coat. He has to be Pepper’s dad.

  ‘Is she OK?’ he barks.

  ‘She says she’s fine,’ Pepper’s mum says with a sniff, drawing her daughter into another hug.

  ‘Well, don’t suffocate her,’ the man snaps, an edge to his voice that reminds me very much of Pepper’s own.

  Pepper herself steps back, rolling her eyes. ‘Hi, Dada,’ she says.

  ‘Home,’ the man says. He looks cross. I wonder if he’s angry because of Pepper’s behaviour before coming to Lightsea, or because of her mum acting all emotional, or just because he’s a cross person.

  I suddenly miss my own dad very much.

  Pepper sweeps over. She gives each of the boys a swift hug, then pulls me into a bigger clinch.

  ‘Keep in touch,’ she breathes in my ear. Then she lowers her voice further. ‘Go with your heart; listen to what it tells you. Go with your heart.’ She draws back, gives me a huge wink, then sweeps out. She’s followed by her parents, neither of whom have given us a second glance.

  Once Pepper leaves, the room feels emptier. The atmosphere grows tense as we all sit in silence, wondering who will be picked up next. I really want it to be Kit. That will give me a chance to talk to Josh in private, maybe get a sense of how he feels.

  But the next time the door opens, an hour later, it’s my own parents who hurry in. After the elegant and expensive whirl of Pepper’s mum and dad, they seem very ordinary, their clothes creased from their journey and their hair rumpled and messy. Dad’s face is pale with worry and exhaustion.

  As he holds me, some of the tension of the past few days slides away. For the first time since our ordeal, I start to feel that everything will eventually be OK. I look up. Mum is hovering across the room, looking anxious.

  I hold out my hand and she hurries over, then the three of us stand and hug. Dad doesn’t want to let me go, but at last I disentangle myself, aware that the two boys must be watching us.

  ‘This is Kit and this is Josh,’ I say. ‘They helped me . . . all of us . . . get away from Gavin.’

  Dad shakes both their hands, his thanks pouring out of him.

  ‘Come on, Evie,’ he says. ‘I’m sure you want to get home as fast as possible. If we go straight to the airport, we can get a flight back in time to pick up the twins from—’

  ‘Wait, Dad,’ I say. ‘There’s something I need to talk to you about before we go. It can’t wait.’

  ‘Er, OK.’ Dad frowns.

  I clear my throat. I’ve been planning this question for hours, but now the time has come it’s hard to speak, especially with the boys here.

  Josh seems to sense my awkwardness. He stands up. ‘Kit and I can wait outside.’

  ‘Sure,’ Kit says. He and Josh leave the room. Mum and Dad sit in their seats.

  ‘What is it, Evie?’ Dad asks, leaning forward with a frown.

  I take a deep breath. ‘Uncle Gavin said a whole lot of stuff about Irina and Mr Lomax told me she was a patient at Lightsea years ago too . . . that she was mentally ill, that she . . . did all sorts of bad things . . .’

  Dad’s face pales. ‘Oh, Evie.’

  ‘Is any of it true?’ I ask.

  He nods.

  I take a deep breath. ‘Gavin also said that . . . that Irina killed herself.’

  There’s a long pause.

  ‘Dad?’ I ask, my voice very small.

  ‘Irina loved you very much,’ Dad says.

  Beside him, Mum puts a hand on his knee. ‘It’s time.’ She looks at me sorrowfully. ‘I told Dad you were old enough to hear the truth, but it was hard for him.’

  Dad bows his head. I wait, but he still doesn’t speak.

  ‘Dad,’ I say, my voice stronger. ‘I know you want to protect me, but I think there have been too many secrets already, don’t you?’

  Dad looks up at last, his eyes full of misery. ‘It’s true. It was a suicide, but not because of you. Irina did love you in her way. It was life that she couldn’t handle, the dark stuff that went on in her head . . . She was always either very up or very down.’

  ‘Was that why you didn’t want to tell me anything about her?’ I ask, leaning forward, intent on his face. ‘Because she killed herself and . . . and you didn’t want me to know I wasn’t enough for her to live for?’

  Dad nods again.

  ‘I see,’ I say, feeling hollow.

  ‘I don’t think you really do see, Evie,’ Mum says gently. ‘You can’t possibly see fully right now. It takes time to understand properly, to come to terms with something like that. But your dad and I will do our best to help you and there are people out there, professionals, who can try and help too.’

  I look up. ‘Like Mr Lomax tried?’

  Dad rolls his eyes. ‘Mr Lomax said I should tell you the truth about Irina from the start.’

  I think back to Mr Lomax’s awkward reaction when I said I needed to know about Irina’s death. No wonder he looked like he was hiding something. He was hiding the truth, just as Dad had told him to.

  ‘I’m sorry,
Evie,’ Dad says, squeezing my hand. ‘There are lots of things I should have explained; I see that now.’

  ‘Gavin said there’s a safety-deposit box?’

  ‘Yes, there is. It’s part of your inheritance; the papers arrived from Mr Treeves while you were away, along with a letter offering to help find us a specialist financial advisor, like lottery winners have, to help you handle the money. If . . . if you think that’s a good idea?’

  I nod.

  ‘I should have told you everything, but it just never felt like the right time.’ Dad looks up, tears in his eyes. ‘I’m so sorry, sweetheart.’

  I gaze into his unhappy face and squeeze his hand back. ‘I’m just glad I have you,’ I say with a smile. Then I reach out and take Mum’s hand. ‘I’m glad I have you both.’

  Kit and Josh are waiting outside as we leave the room. Kit hurries over as soon as we appear. He draws me to one side, then leans his handsome face close to mine.

  ‘I’ll call you later, maybe we can meet up at the weekend.’

  I nod, feeling awkward. It will be good to see Kit. I like him. And he is gorgeous. Everyone at school will envy me if we go out together. And yet that cartwheeling feeling I had the first few times I saw him is long gone. I no longer look at him and fancy him, in spite of his good looks. I no longer think about him when we aren’t together. I no longer want him to kiss me.

  As he hugs me, I look over his shoulder at where Josh is skulking by the window. Why isn’t he looking at me?

  I raise my hand. ‘Bye, Josh.’

  Josh throws me a swift glance, his arm raised in a brief wave. ‘See ya.’

  He hasn’t even bothered to ask for my number or where he’ll find me online or how far away from him I live.

  Tears prick at my eyes. I pull away from Kit.

  ‘Don’t cry,’ he says, misunderstanding my tears. ‘We’ll see each other soon.’

  Nodding, I turn and hurry away. My heart feels like lead in my chest as I follow Mum and Dad down the staircase. We reach the lobby on the ground floor.

  ‘I’ll bring the hire car round,’ Dad says.

  Mum and I stand against the wall, waiting. My mind races over everything that has happened, snapshots of the past week speeding through my head: seeing Irina’s ‘ghost’ through the trees that first evening, the stones in the cave spelling out her initials, dancing with Josh as the storm raged, Anna’s face when she turned around on Easter Rock, Gavin’s gun pressed against Josh’s neck, the thought – clear and terrible – that Josh might die, and finally the whisper of Pepper’s voice in my ear: