The troubled man changed into the black tiger and found a nice spot for a nap. I decided to write in my journal for a while.
I felt awful about Yesubai’s death. I turned to a blank page, but ended up drawing a picture of two tigers with a beautiful, long-haired girl in the middle. Sketching a line leading from the girl to each tiger, I sighed. It was hard to sort out your feelings on paper if you hadn’t really sorted them out in your head yet.
Ren didn’t return the rest of the day, and Kishan napped all afternoon. I walked past him noisily several times, but he kept on sleeping. I muttered, “So much for my big protector. I could walk off into the jungle and he’d never know it.”
The big black tiger huffed slightly, probably trying to tell me that he knew what was going on, even if he was napping.
I ended up reading quietly the rest of the afternoon, missing Ren. Even when he was a tiger, I felt like he always listened to me and that he would talk with me if he could.
After dinner, I patted Kishan on the head and retreated to my tent to get some sleep. As I cushioned my head on my arms, I couldn’t help but notice the big empty hole next to me where Ren always slept.
The next four days continued in the same pattern. Kishan stayed nearby, left on patrol a couple of times a day, and then returned to sit by me during lunch. After lunch, he changed to a man and allowed me to pester him with questions about palace life and the culture of his people.
On the morning of the fifth day, the routine changed. Kishan changed to a man right after I emerged from the tent.
“Kelsey, I’m worried about Ren. He’s been gone a long time, and I haven’t caught his scent on patrol. I suspect that he’s had no luck on his hunt. He hasn’t hunted since he was captured, which was more than three hundred years ago.”
“Do you think he’s hurt?”
“It’s a possibility, but keep in mind that we heal quickly. There aren’t many beasts here that would try to injure a tiger, but there are poachers and traps. I think I should go look for him.”
“Do you think it’ll be easy to find him?”
“If he’s smart, he would have stuck to the river. Most of the herds congregate near the water. Speaking of food, I noticed you were getting low. Last night while you were sleeping, I met Mr. Kadam at his camp near the road and brought back more of those meal packages.” He indicated a bag left by the tent.
“You must have carried that in your mouth the entire way. Thank you.”
He grinned. “You are entirely welcome, my lovely.”
I laughed. “Better to carry a backpack in your teeth over several miles than to have Ren sink his into your hide for letting me starve, eh?”
Kishan frowned. “I did it for you, Kelsey. Not him.”
I put my hand on his arm. “Well, thank you.”
He pressed his hand on top of mine. “Aap ke liye. For your sake, anything.”
“Did you tell Mr. Kadam that we would be a bit longer?”
“Yes, I explained the situation to him. Don’t worry about him. He’s comfortably camped near the road and will wait as long as necessary. Now, I want you to pack up some water bottles and food. I’m taking you with me. I would leave you here, but Ren insists that you get into trouble if left alone.”
He touched my nose. “Is that true, bilauta? I can’t imagine an endearing young woman such as you getting into trouble.”
“I don’t get into trouble. Trouble finds me.”
He laughed. “That much is obvious.”
“Despite what you tigers think, I can take care of myself, you know,” I said in a slightly sulky tone.
Kishan squeezed my arm. “Perhaps we tigers enjoy taking care of you.”
Soon we set off on a trail that angled up toward the top of the falls. It was a slow but steady climb, and my legs started to protest as we neared the apex. He let me rest for a while at the top. I took in the view of the jungle and made out our little camp below in the small clearing.
We continued to follow the river until we arrived at a large tree trunk that had fallen across. It was stripped bare of branches, and the rushing water had peeled off the bark, leaving the trunk smooth but dangerous to walk on. The water was rushing, and every once in a while it splashed over the top of the makeshift bridge.
Kishan leapt up on the trunk and padded across. The tree bobbed up and down under his weight, but it seemed stable enough. He landed softly on the other side and then turned to watch me cross. Somehow, I mustered the courage and put one foot directly in front of the other. It was like walking on Mr. Maurizio’s tightrope—with the added bonus of it being extra-slippery.
I yelled across nervously, “Kishan! Did you ever think that crossing this log just might be a little bit easier for a tiger with claws than for a girl with a heavy backpack wearing sneakers? If I fall in, I hope you’re ready for a swim!”
Finally safe on the other side, I breathed a deep sigh of relief. We continued walking, and after about three miles, Kishan finally caught Ren’s scent, which we followed slowly for another two hours. He let me get a good rest then while he took off to scout out Ren’s location.
He returned a half an hour later and reported, “There’s a large herd of black antelope in the clearing about a half mile away. Ren has been stalking them unsuccessfully for three days. Antelope are extremely fast. Usually a tiger would target a baby or an injured animal, but this group is only adults.
“They’re edgy and jumpy because they know Ren is stalking them. The herd is sticking close together, which makes it hard for him to single one out. He’s also been hunting for several days, so he’s very tired. I’m going to lead you to a safe place downwind where you can stay and rest, while I help Ren with the hunt.”
I agreed and shouldered my pack again. He led me through the trees to climb another large hill. Kishan stopped to sniff the wind several times along the way. After we’d climbed several hundred feet, he found a place for me to camp before setting off to help Ren.
After a while I was utterly and absolutely bored. I couldn’t see much from where I was sitting.
I had already drunk an entire bottle of water and was starting to feel restless so I decided to walk around just a bit to get my bearings and explore the area. I carefully noted rock formations and used my compass to make sure I knew where I was.
Hiking farther up the hill, I spied a large rock jutting out over the tree line. The rock was flat on top and shaded by a large tree. I climbed up to it and was amazed with the view. I scrambled up higher, crossed my legs, and sat down. The river meandered lazily below, weaving back and forth at a sluggish pace a few hundred feet below me. I sat back against a tree trunk and enjoyed the breeze.
About twenty minutes later, a movement below caught my attention. A large animal emerged from the trees below. Several more creatures followed. At first, I thought they were deer, but then I realized they were probably some of the antelopes that Kishan had been talking about. I wondered if they were from the same herd that Ren and Kishan were following. The tops of their bodies were sable colored while the bottom half was white. They had white chins and white rings circling their big brown eyes.
The bucks sported two long, twisted horns that stuck straight out from the top of their heads like television antennas. The larger males’ horns were bigger and more tightly twisted than the smaller males’. The animals’ hides ranged from light tan to dark brown.
They drank from the river, flicking their white tails back and forth. The bigger males kept watch while the others drank. The females were about five feet tall and the males, if their horn height was included, stood a foot or two taller. The longer I looked at their impressive horns, the more nervous I felt for Ren.
No wonder he’s had a hard time catching one of them.
The herd seemed to relax, and some of the animals even started grazing. I scanned the trees for Ren, but I couldn’t see him anywhere. I watched the herd for a long time. The animals were beautiful.
The attack came quickly. The herd st
ampeded. Kishan was a black streak racing across the landscape. He singled out a large male, who ran quickly in a different direction from the herd, which I figured was either his fatal mistake or an act of great bravery to lead the predator away from the group.
Kishan chased the antelope toward a copse of trees, leapt up on its back, dug his front claws into the sides of the animal, and nipped at its backbone. Just then, Ren shot out from the trees, came up alongside the animal, and bit its front leg. Somehow, the antelope twisted out from under Kishan, who fell off. The black tiger started circling around, looking for another opportunity to leap.
The antelope pointed its long horns at Ren, who paced back and forth. The animal remained focused, always protecting itself with its horns. Its ears twitched back and forth, listening for Kishan, who had slunk around behind it.
Kishan leapt up and swiped his claws at the animal’s haunches. The power of the blow took the antelope down. Seeing an opportunity, Ren leapt in to bite at its neck. The antelope writhed and twisted, trying to get up, but the two tigers had the advantage.
Several times I thought the animal might escape. The antelope thrashed about and eventually managed to dart away a few paces. Panting, it watched the tigers slowly rise and approach. The antelope quivered with exhaustion and limped lamely as it waited for the next attack. The tigers slowly tackled it to the ground again.
I thought the whole process would be quick, but the hunt took much longer than I’d expected. It was as if Ren and Kishan were tiring the beast out, engaging it in a macabre dance of death. The tigers were moving wearily too. It seemed they saved their energy for the chase, burning up all their strength on that. The kill itself was an almost sluggish process.
The antelope struggled valiantly. It kicked out several times and caught both tigers with its hooves. The tigers clamped on with their jaws until the animal finally stopped moving.
When it was over, Ren and Kishan rested, panting heavily from the exertion. Kishan started eating first. I tried to look away. I wanted to, but I couldn’t help myself. It was unspeakably fascinating.
Kishan braced his claws against the antelope and sunk his teeth deeply into its body. Using the force of his jaw, he ripped off a dripping chunk of steaming flesh. Ren followed suit. It was grisly, nauseating, and disturbing. It shot shivers down my spine, but I just couldn’t tear my eyes away.
After the meal was done, the brothers moved slowly, as if drugged or sleepy, which made me wonder if it was similar to the post-turkey feeling on Thanksgiving Day. They lay near their meal, occasionally going back to lick at the juiciest parts. A black cloud of giant flies descended. There must have been hundreds in that swarm, all buzzing around the fresh kill.
As the insects surrounded them, I imagined the flies landing on the dead animal and Kishan and Ren’s bloody faces. That’s when I lost it and couldn’t watch any longer.
I picked up my backpack and slid down the rough hill, covering the distance in just a few moments. I headed back to our original campsite more worried about facing the two tigers than about getting lost. I wasn’t sure I could face either Kishan or Ren after what I had just seen.
With only a couple hours of sunlight left, I set off at a brisk pace, made it back to the log, and crossed the river before the sun had set. I slowed during the last few miles. Darkness was falling, and rain clouds had moved in. Sprinkles hit my face, and the path grew wet and slippery, but the real downpour didn’t hit until I was back at the campground.
I wondered if the rain was now falling on the tigers and figured that would probably be a good thing, so it could wash the blood off their faces and drive off the flies. I involuntarily shuddered.
At that moment, the idea of food disgusted me. I climbed into my tent and sang happy songs from The Wizard of Oz to get my mind off the disturbing images I’d just seen, hoping that it would help me fall asleep. It backfired on me, though, because after I fell asleep, I dreamed of the cowardly lion tearing chunks out of Dorothy.
16
kelsey’s dream
dorothy and Toto turned into other disturbing dreams. Alone and lost, I was running in the darkness. I couldn’t find Ren, and something evil was chasing me. I had to get away. Strange, grasping fingers reached out to pull my clothes and hair. They scraped my skin and tried to drag me off the path. I knew if they did, they would ensnare and destroy me.
I turned a corner, entered a large room, and saw a dark, villainous man dressed in rich amethyst robes. He was standing over another man tied to a large table. I watched from a dark corner as he raised a sharp, curved knife into the air. The man chanted softly in a language I didn’t understand.
Somehow, I knew I had to save his captive in the nightmare. I launched myself at the man with the knife and pulled on his arm, trying to wrestle the knife from his hand. My hand started to burn bright red, and sparks crackled.
“No, Kelsey! Stop!”
I looked down at the altar and gasped. It was Ren! His body was torn and bloody, and his hands were bound over his head.
“Kells . . . get out of here! Save yourself! I’m doing this so he can’t find you.”
“No! I won’t let you! Ren, change into a tiger. Run!”
He shook his head frantically and said loudly, “Durga! I accept! Do it now!”
“What is it? What do you need Durga to do?” I said.
The man began chanting again loudly, and, despite my feeble efforts to stop him, he raised the blade and plunged it into Ren’s heart. I screamed. My heart beat in sick rhythm with his. With each thud, his strength diminished. His damaged heart beat slower and slower until it stalled and finally stopped.
Tears rolled down my face. I felt a terrible, cutting pain. I watched Ren’s lifeblood drip down the table and pool on the tiled floor. Slumping to the ground on my hands and knees, I choked on my emotions.
Ren’s death was unbearable. If he was dead, then so was I. I was drowning in sorrow; I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t have any will left to drive me. There was no incentive, no voice urging me to fight back, to kick for the surface, to rise above the pain. Nothing could make me breathe or make me live again.
The room disappeared, and I was shrouded in blackness once again. The dream changed. I was wearing a golden dress and ornate jewelry. Seated on a beautiful chair on a high dais, I looked down to see Ren standing on the floor in front of me. I smiled at him and held out my hand, but Kishan grabbed it as he sat down beside me.
I glanced at Kishan, confused. He was smiling smugly at Ren. When I turned back to Ren again, his anger was white hot, and he glared at me with hatred and fiery contempt.
I struggled to free my hand from Kishan’s grasp, but he wouldn’t let me go. Before I could free myself, Ren changed into a tiger and ran into the jungle. I screamed after him, but he couldn’t hear me. He wouldn’t hear me.
Wind whipped the cream-colored drapes, and storm clouds rushed in, pushed along by the brisk wind. The clouds blanketed the trees and darkened the sky. Lightning struck in several places. I heard a mighty roar echo across the landscape. It was the impetus I needed. I wrenched my hand out of Kishan’s and ran into the squall.
Rain began to beat the ground, slowing my progress as I searched for Ren. My beautiful golden sandals were stripped away, stuck in the thick mud created by the downpour. I couldn’t find him anywhere. I pushed my dripping hair out of my eyes and shouted, “Ren! Ren! Where are you?”
A thunderbolt struck a nearby tree with a mighty boom. Fragments of bark shot out in every direction as the tree cracked, and the trunk twisted and splintered. It crashed down and pinned me to the ground with its branches.
“Ren!”
Muddy rainwater pooled under me. I carefully squirmed and twisted my bruised, aching body until I could slither out from under the tree. The golden dress was ripped and torn, and my skin was covered with bloody scratches.
I yelled again, “Ren! Please come back! I need you!”
I was cold and shaking, but I continued ru
nning through the jungle, tripping over roots and shoving aside gray, prickly undergrowth. Searching and yelling while running, I wove between trees looking for him. I forlornly begged, “Ren, please don’t leave me!”
Finally, I spotted a white form loping through the trees and doubled my efforts to catch up to him. My dress caught on a thorny bush, but I fiercely dug my way through it, determined to reach him. I followed the path of lightning strikes in the jungle nearby.
I wasn’t afraid of the lightning, though it hit close enough that I could smell burned wood. The lightning guided me to Ren. I found him lying on the ground. Large burn marks scorched his white fur where lightning bolts had repeatedly struck him. Somehow, I knew I had done it. I was the one responsible for his pain.
I stroked his head and the soft, silky fur of his neck and cried, “Ren, I didn’t want this. How could this happen?”
He changed to a man and whispered, “You lost faith in me, Kelsey.”
I shook my head in denial. Tears streaked down my cheeks. “No, I didn’t. I wouldn’t!”
He couldn’t look me in the eyes. “Iadala, you left me.”
I threw my arms around him desperately. “No, Ren! I’ll never leave you.”
“But you did. You walked away. Was it too much to ask you to wait for me? To believe in me?”
I sobbed forlornly. “But, I didn’t know. I didn’t know.”
“It’s too late now, priyatama. This time, I’m leaving you.” He closed his eyes and died.
I shook his limp body. “No. No! Ren come back. Please come back!”
Tears mixed with rain and blurred my vision. I angrily brushed them from my eyes, and when I opened them again, I saw not just him but also my parents, my grandmother, and Mr. Kadam. They were all lying on the ground dead. I was alone and surrounded by death.
I cried and shouted over and over, “No! It can’t be! It can’t be!”
A black anguish seeped through my body. Thick and viscous, it oozed through my core and dribbled down my limbs. I felt so heavy, so full of despair, and so alone. I held onto Ren and rocked his body back and forth, unconsciously trying to comfort myself. But I found no relief.