I held my index finger vertically against my lips, then let us out the back and locked the door. We made no more noise than the wind as we soared over the fences and through the neighbors’ yards. Finally, the forest closed around us.
“Are you going to turn into a wolf?” I asked.
“I need to, yes. When I morphed earlier, it wasn’t long enough.”
“You need to?” I asked. Zack made it sound as though he had little choice.
“Shape-shifters have more control, which is why they can reproduce,” he explained. I must have looked baffled, because he chuckled and continued. “With any shape-shifter or werewolf, once they morph, the unborn baby dies. Our urge to shift is overwhelming. The only way we can increase our population is for a male to mate with a human, like my dad with my mom. Or we turn them.”
“Like what happened to Daniel.”
“Right,” Zack said. “If shape-shifters stay in their human form, which is easy for them, they can carry to term.”
“You explained that so officially. I swear, Zack, sometimes you sound like an old man.”
His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“You talk so adult-like.”
Zack swooped to pick a twig from the ground and absentmindedly studied it. “I started taking care of my mom when I turned sixteen and got my license. Before that, I helped with the grocery shopping, cleaned. I even helped pay the bills. So I’ve been on my own for a while. Responsibility catches up with you after a while, I guess.”
“Oh.” I felt bad for bringing it up. “But if you have no experience with shape-shifters, how do you know so much?”
“Books.” He perked up, a smile forming. “My dad left me a box of things and made my mom promise to keep them forever. It was a whole box of stuff — old yellowing pages with drawings of werewolves, stories of legends and werewolf law. I think my dad knew there was a chance he wouldn’t be around and wanted to make sure I had everything I needed. I loved those books. Not because they represented a world I could escape into, but because my dad left them for me.”
I followed him as he weaved through the trees. “And when strange things started happening to your body, you realized everything you’d read in the books was real, that your dad left them to guide you.”
Zack glanced over his shoulder, smiling. “Yeah. There’s info on shape-shifters too, but I didn’t study that as hard, since it didn’t apply. Tomorrow, after school, I’ll drop you off at my house and you can read them while you wait for me to come home from work.”
I giggled. He made me sound like his wife. “Yes, honey.”
“Let’s run.” He leaped, turning into a wolf in midair and leaving his clothes behind. I chased after him.
† † †
“Next time I bark twice, that means turn around,” Zack enunciated slowly. “I’m tired of dressing in the bushes.”
“Sorry.” I dropped the house key on the kitchen table. “I thought you were trying to tell me something.”
He blew out his breath. “I was!”
I suppressed a giggle. “Sorry. I’ll remember next time.”
He turned the deadbolt on the front door. “Stay here and I’ll check the house.”
Zack moved so fast, my eyes barely kept up. He made a blur as he zoomed upstairs, stayed there for several seconds, then downstairs again to zip from window to window.
“All clear.” He stopped in front of me. “It’s late. We should get to bed.”
Bed. Zack. Bed. “Okay.” I stared at him.
“Maybe you should show me where I’ll be sleeping?” He looked at me expectantly.
“Right. My dad’s office has a futon that might give you more room than the couch.”
He mulled that over. “Where’s your dad’s office?”
“Across from my room.” Maybe Zack would be tempted in the middle of the night…
“I’ll take the sofa,” he said quickly. “Got a blanket?”
No stranger to disappointment where Zack was concerned, I found a sheet, a couple pillows and a soft, clean blanket in the hallway cabinet. I brought them to him and pointed in the opposite direction. “You can use the bathroom down there.”
“I remember where it is.” His eyes fixed on mine.
I shifted uncomfortably. “Well, I guess it’s goodnight then.” I paused a moment and turned to go.
“Autumn.”
I stopped and turned back, my chest swelling with hope. “Yes?”
“Don’t lock your door. Don’t even close it.” Our eyes met and the seconds passed. “If anyone comes for you, I need to be able to hear. Goodnight.”
Fear nipped at me. How would I be able to sleep thinking Daniel might come after me? I nodded and headed up the stairs.
In my bed, I stared at the ceiling and prayed sleep would come. Anytime I heard a noise, my head flipped toward my window to make sure nobody was trying to break in. Plus, I kept expecting Zack to sneak into my room. Actually, I wasn’t expecting it to happen. I knew him too well to think he was that easy.
But I hoped.
† † †
The smell of unwashed wolf closed in on me, fur tickling my skin and fetid breath in my face. I trembled, hot tears burning my eyes. The wolf snarled and I scrambled back as he leapt toward me.
“Autumn. Autumn, wake up.” Zack pulled me off the pillow by my shoulders.
I lifted my head and rubbed my eyes, trying to wipe away the mental fuzz. But I was aware enough to notice my comforter wasn’t anywhere near us, certainly not separating me from him. I must have kicked it off during my nightmare.
“Are you okay?” Zack was sitting directly in front of me, his thighs straddling mine, heat from his bare skin radiating through me.
I nodded.
He exhaled in relief and leaned back to sit on his heels. “Heard you scream and I ran up here. Been calling your name over and over, but you wouldn’t wake up. Scared me for a minute there.”
I’d been having that same dream where I was being chased. “I was running from wolves.”
He brushed a finger down my cheek. “It was just a dream.”
“More like a nightmare,” I whispered, my gaze locking onto his. He wore nothing but a pair of boxers. As my ragged breath slowed, I realized the only other thing between us was my threadbare tank top and skimpy panties.
“Autumn.” His breathing quickened and he growled so low it sounded like a purr. Then he tilted my face to meet his and drew closer until I felt his breath on my skin. “You’re too beautiful.”
CHAPTER TWENTYONE
I wanted to scream for Zack to kiss me, but I held my breath, afraid if I said anything or moved, he’d go away again. When I met his gaze, every nerve in my body came alive. Slowly, he moved toward me, then his lips brushed mine and lingered for a brief moment. He drew back just a hair and gazed into my eyes as an almost inaudible moan escaped him.
Then his mouth was on mine.
My lips parted and when our tongues tangled, I savored the taste of him and his sweet, earthy scent. Way better than anything I’d ever imagined. I felt his hands at my sides, his fingers splayed at my waist and his thumbs just under my ribs. Our lips separated and his gentle pressure eased me backward until my head rested against the pillow. The mattress gradually took his weight as he lay over me.
Heat seared through my limbs.
I sighed as his mouth met mine again. My fingertips made a feather-light trail up his spine, then back down. I was rewarded with a shiver. As he cradled my face in his hands with his fingertips at the nape of my neck, his thumb grazed my temple. He gently turned my face and his mouth followed the curve of my jaw, the tip of his tongue burning a path to my ear.
With my palms against his lower back, I brought him closer. A low growl reached my ear and he buried his face in my neck.
“Oh, God, Autumn. I can’t do this.”
“Of course, you can,” I said and a breeze from Zack’s quick departure hit the bare skin of my legs.
&nb
sp; “I’m sorry,” he said from my bedroom doorway, then disappeared.
My limbs trembled and my heart was still pounding. I curled up in a ball, wishing for the ache to go away. What had I been thinking? I’d known him a little over a week and was already giving myself away to someone who’d rejected me over and over. I needed to get a grip.
But I’d gotten my kiss and it was everything I’d fantasized about.
† † †
“Autumn. Wake up. We have to leave in a half hour and I need to stop at my house. With all the Daniel drama yesterday, I forgot my homework.”
Rubbing my eyes, I glanced over my shoulder at Zack in the doorway wearing only boxers and tousled hair. I lay curled up on my side, still without my comforter. He stood almost behind me, which gave him a clear view of whatever my skimpy panties didn’t cover.
As if realizing he’d entered dangerous territory with me, he backed up and bumped into the doorway. Righting himself, he yanked the door shut behind him.
I chuckled. Served him right after the kiss-and-dis the night before.
After showering, I quickly got dressed and dashed to the fridge to get a snack for later. But I’d pillaged it over the last few days and there was nothing edible left. If Zack would be staying here, I needed to go shopping.
“Autumn? You ready?” Zack called from the front door.
I grabbed my backpack and followed him outside.
“Do you mind if I drive?” he asked.
I tossed him my keys and climbed in the passenger side. Once we were on the road, he took a deep, meaningful breath.
Uh-oh, here it comes.
“About last night.” He snuck a peek at me, then focused on the road ahead.
“Yeah?”
“You’re really pretty. Any guy would be insane not to want to hook up with you.”
I felt another rejection coming on.
“Sorry.” The Mustang slowed as it hugged the curb. Zack gave me an apologetic look. “I’ll be fast.”
I waited in the car, while he dashed inside the house to get his homework. About a minute later, he flew out the front door and down the steps, then jumped into the driver’s seat without opening the door.
“You were saying?” I prodded, wanting to get it over with.
Zack inserted the key in the ignition, but didn’t start the car. He swiveled in his seat to face me. “My mom is getting worse every day and I’m not going to be here once she’s gone. I can’t stay. You know that.”
Right. I’d forgotten about all that. Zack, on the other hand, lived with the knowledge every day. What must it be like to know that your parent could die at any time and nothing could save her? I’d probably avoid attachments too, then bail first chance I got.
“It was late,” Zack continued. “I was groggy. You were wearing so little and you made me forget. But I can’t forget again. You’re a nice girl, Autumn, but with my mom’s situation and work and school and the scouts, there’s nothing left of me. You deserve better than that.”
I wanted to tell him that I deserved him and the feelings between us. But my pride went with, “Fine. Whatever.”
Zack took a deep breath. “We need to concentrate on getting you through your first morph, educating you on shape-shifters — with what little info we have — and making sure you’re safe.”
I nodded and stared out the window, my eyes stinging.
The engine roared to life and the car began to move, but I barely noticed. I had this amazing guy who liked me — at least enough to make out with me — and he could never be mine. Where was the justice?
I needed something to take my mind off Zack and how I couldn’t have him. “Why don’t you turn your mom into a werewolf? Then she’d be strong and healthy, right?”
“I can’t turn her for the same reason my dad couldn’t. She’s too frail. If we bite someone and they’re weak, the wolf virus kills them. If they’re strong, they fight the virus and develop an immunity of sorts. Except it’s more like a unity. The healthy human cells meld with the wolf cells, creating a powerful human that’s also a wolf.”
Zack found a spot close to the school entrance and handed me the keys. “I’ve been thinking. Daniel might give up on you if he thinks we’re a couple.”
Sounded interesting. “So we should act cozy?”
“Yeah.” His eyes darted away.
“I can pretend if you can.” But I hoped it wouldn’t be too painful for me once the charade was over. I reached for the door handle.
“If anything happens and I’m not there after your last class, leave without me.”
I spun in my seat. “No. Because this time, Gina won’t be in the way and you’ll be waiting for me. I’m not going to desert you, so you end up walking home. Or worse.”
“Fine,” he mumbled, opening his door.
Students gaped as we got out of my car together. Zack rounded the hood and walked by my side, his arm protectively draped around my waist. Gina glared at me from near the bike racks. Standing next to her, Daniel looked like steam would billow from his ears at any moment. I spared him a glance before spotting John who gave me two thumbs up.
It felt comfortable and safe with Zack by my side touching me. And yummy. I had to remind myself we weren’t really a couple.
“She has to go to the bathroom. Now.” Maya faced Zack as though daring him to challenge her.
He laughed. “I’ll be waiting.”
Yes, he would. Right outside the bathroom door. He’d probably even listen in with his super-human hearing. I’d have to be careful what I told Maya.
Dragging me through the hallway, she eyed a girl going into the bathroom ahead of us. There went our privacy. She stopped right outside the door, positioning us in the corner. I spotted John approaching. He huddled up with us.
“What is going on with you two? Trevor said Zack spent the night at your house,” she whispered.
Word traveled fast.
“He did?” John asked. “Your taste in guys has improved.”
“It’s not like that,” I said.
She folded her arms over her chest. “Liar.”
“She likes him,” John said.
“Did he kiss you yet?” she asked.
“If he spent a whole night alone with her and didn’t try to hook up with her, he’s clearly gay,” John said.
I laughed and held up a hand to stop further probing, though good-natured and well-deserved. “I’m not denying he’s gorgeous or that I like him. But guys,” all humor left my voice, “he doesn’t want a relationship. When his mom is gone, he will be too.” I lowered my voice. They didn’t need to know all the details, but I didn’t want to have to pretend with my closest friends. Plus, they could help keep an eye on Daniel. “Zack stayed over, because Daniel…”
“What?” Maya asked, eyes narrowed.
“He cornered me yesterday after school,” I answered. “I was a little freaked out, but I don’t think he’s dangerous. Zack is just being overly cautious.”
Her head rocked up and down, eyes bigger than usual. “I knew he was a pig, but I didn’t think he’d stoop that low. I’m so sorry. But you got a night with Zack.” She grinned. “All’s well that ends well.”
“Maya, you are so bad.” My mouth dropped open as I playfully slapped her arm.
“So, did anything happen last night?” she prodded.
“Uh, that’s my cue to leave.” John grimaced. “I don’t need the gory details. See ya.”
“’Bye.” I shot John a smile as he took off. Sensing Zack close by, I chose my words carefully. “I spent the entire night in my room and he slept on the sofa.” There. I’d told her the truth and implied exactly what Zack would want — without the little extras.
“That sucks.”
“What’s the point of wanting someone who doesn’t want me back?” I couldn’t have Zack thinking I was pining for him. “How are things with you and Trevor?”
“Heavenly. We’ve only been dating a week or so, but it feels like we?
??ve always been together.”
I smiled. “I’m glad one of us is in a normal relationship.”
“I can’t believe it finally happened.” She sighed. “See you at lunch.”
Maya rushed off to class and Zack ushered me down the hallway. “You better not make me late. Nicely done, by the way,” he said.
No remark at all on my comment about not wanting him, but that was just as well.
† † †
At lunch, I invited John and Janine to eat with us. Where I sat, I could see Daniel. Jeff sat with him again, along with Gina. She and Daniel huddled up next to each other, Gina frequently brushing up against him.
Daniel’s eyes cut to mine. As he held my gaze, he kissed Gina. So they were out in the open about being together. Poor Gina had no idea what she was getting herself into.
I shuddered.
Maybe having Gina at his disposal will keep Daniel off you.
The words came into my head and I jumped. But they didn’t come in through my ears. It was like an impression of words, like when you hear something and replay it in your head another time. A slow smile spread over Zack’s face.
You heard me. Good.
Can you hear me? I asked.
Zack grinned. Very good, Grasshopper.
Rumors are already starting that we’re together. If we keep talking like this, people will think we’re making eyes at each other. I snickered inwardly.
You don’t need eye contact to mind talk.
I focused on the other end of the room.
I don’t care what people think, do you? He threw a balled-up napkin at me. I say we give them something to talk about.
John leaned over and whispered into my ear. “He’s so into you.”
Knowing Zack heard that, I laughed and elbowed John. I’d missed him.
† † †
After school, Zack dropped me off at his house and stayed parked at the curb until I went inside. The place appeared deserted, but I heard distant noises, like kids playing in the backyard.
Something delicious tickled my nose. I followed the scent of garlic to the oven and peered in at the casserole. It reminded me that I needed food at home. If I left now, I’d have the groceries put away and maybe have time for homework before Zack got back.