Chapter 4: Lady Ruth – Toronto, Ontario, Canada – early December
A small gathering of media types had just heard the conference host, Lady Ruth Clarkson-Smythe; introduce herself, at the Royal York Hotel. Beside her stood the reason everyone was here on a frosty winter morning in Toronto. Lady Ruth introduced the handsome man, by name only, and then asked, "What questions do you have for Dr. Sven Ferengson, Malevcon Mining Limited's newly hired geologist?"
The internet reporter from the Globe & Mail, Richard Norbitt, asked, "Well for starters, Lady Clarkson-Smythe, my online readers are extremely concerned about the intentions of a mining company like Malevcon. Malevcon has a well-established track record of strip mining, and so the question is 'what are Malevcon doing in a geologically delicate area like Nazca-Ocaña'!"
"Well now, Dick," began Dr. Sven Ferengson. Then he stopped, smiled, and seemingly innocently asked, "Can I call you 'Dick'?"
Norbitt frowned.
Ferengson quickly smiled again, and then ingratiatingly explained, "You and I, and all the other distinguished guests gathered here today recognize the global authority that UNESCO has regarding Nazca: Malevcon has no intention of strip mining at this Peruvian site or any other World Heritage site. In fact, our site in Peru is more than two miles away from the closest boundary with Nazca . . . so don't worry about that . . . Dick!" He quickly smiled again, and then continued, "Next question please!"
A reporter from the Toronto Star asked, "What exactly did Malevcon hire you to do, Dr. Ferengson? I mean, you are the preeminent North American, if not global, geologist – but also a former PhD archaeology student, as I understand it. What – did they find some . . . funny old rocks down there?"
Laughing through his response, Ferengson continued, "Hey, shouldn't you be rationalizing at the end of your question, adding, 'enquiring minds want to know?' You remember – what was that sleazy, defunct tabloid called? Was it the 'The Enquirer'?" Ferengson paused to determine if the journalist recognized that Sven had insulted him back. Receiving no response, Ferengson sarcastically added, "Are you from the 'New Enquirer'?"
Ignoring Ferengson's insult, the same reporter cheekily concluded, "So, I can print that you declined to answer that question?"
Ferengson offered a wry smile this time, and then began a sweeping explanation.
"But of course I will – I was merely provoking a laugh – after all, we are only searching for gold down in the ground. In fact, a few years ago, when an archaeologist carbon-dated some gold artefacts discovered within the Varna Necropolis in Bulgaria, he was also indirectly identifying that Humanity has been searching for gold in the ground for over 7000 years. It is one of our oldest pursuits, and if I may say so, regardless of its form, one of our noblest ones as well."
A reporter from the Observer in London, England, was listening in on-screen. She quickly interrupted, "Yes, Dr. Ferengson, but what specifically did Malevcon hire you to do?" Then she continued, "I mean sir, you are a famous man but one who could wear two hats there, so to speak. Which hat will you wear for Malevcon? Will you wear that of the archaeologist or that of the geologist?"
Nodding, Ferengson replied, "A fair question and, indeed, one in need of an answer." Feigning sincerity, he continued, "Malevcon hired me to write up a technical review of the site. After I do that, they want me to perform an evaluation on a neighbouring property by estimating resources there by way of studying the data the first site gives me. It is the same sort of work I have performed for countless other mining firms during the course of my renowned career – including having done it for Malevcon in the past."
Another reporter, who was also online, but from California, USA, asked, "So, you're kinda like a scout then?"
Jokingly, Ferengson replied, "Well, a high-priced scout if that's the way you want to put it!"
Inwardly, Ruth surmised, 'Ferengson certainly exudes self-confidence.'
"Mr. Ferengson," began another journalist.
Lady Ruth was quick to hear the impropriety, and in her exceedingly refined British accent immediately interrupted, "Pardon, Ms. Levinski, but the correct term for addressing today's interviewee is 'Doctor'." Then she smiled quickly and nodded at the offending reporter. Look at the revealing blouse she is wearing – Dear me!
Levinski responded, "Excuse my name gaff, Dr. Ferengson, but isn't one mining location near Nazca enough for Malevcon? I mean . . . are two miles a large enough buffer zone where it concerns mining for gold?"
As he stood there gripping the podium with a hand firmly holding each side, Dr. Ferengson scrutinized his questioner carefully. Lady Ruth noticed an amorous glint in his eye. She had read rumours of his penchant for womanizing. She wondered if he was planning his next conquest: he was handsome by most physical standards. Regardless, a romantic scandal was hardly what she promised her shareholders she would deliver at this conference.
Then, Ferengson smiled ear-to-ear at Ms. Levinski. Lady Ruth observed him very carefully as he replied, "Excuse me, is it 'Ms' or 'Miss'?"
"Uh, it's 'Miss' really," replied Levinski, glancing in his eyes and placing one end of the stylus she held into her mouth. When Ms. Levinski rolled the stylus in her mouth, she revealed her tongue suggestively, and then tossed her brunette hair back as if auditioning for a shampoo ad. Dear me – how improper!
Dr. Ferengson responded, "Okay Miss Levinski." With the glint in his eye dilating, he continued, "300 kilometres by 30 kilometres is the area size; thus, one that we geologists would call 'very large' – especially when you consider how far below the Earth's surface we could go."
When he said 'go', Ruth observed Ferengson wink at Levinski. Disgusted, Ruth decided that she would let their discussion continue for now, but then watched astounded as Levinski, with mock-naïve coyness asked, "How far do you drill, Dr. Ferengson?"
Ruth covered her mouth as if reacting to words she had accidentally spoken herself. Before she could stop the conversation though, the entire room of reporters, including the satellite attendees, let out a collected groan of disapproval. You might say they had done Ruth's work for her.
Suddenly, a female voice from the scrum shouted, "Come on, Levinski! Keep this up and the Toronto Sun will want you on page 3!"
Ruth could not identify who had spoken but she was grateful for the timing. From Ruth's perspective, the fact that this anonymous female reporter complained in the way she did shifted attention away from Ruth and onto the indignant reporter.
The Toronto Sun reporter shouted, "I object to your reference to the Sun – we haven't had a girl's picture on that page in years!"
A second anonymous female reporter complained, "Only because you had no female readers until you moved it to the back."
Before Ruth could make a request to stop the sarcastic remarks, a reporter from the Chronicle Herald out of Halifax in Nova Scotia spoke up, and suggested, "Yeah, and while you're answering Levinski's question, doctor, perhaps you could tell us too how long your drill is . . ."
The room erupted in an unsurprisingly all-male chorus of laughter. Ruth was disappointed: she had invited the media to ask serious questions of a serious geologist, and instead got a sex call-in show.
Men – always thinking with their . . .
"Dick," interrupted Ferengson. Then, placing his open hand over his eye as if suggesting he could not see the source of the question because of bright lighting, Ferengson, with false innocence, asked, "Is that you again?"
Ferengson's question begat more unbridled laughter. Suddenly, he resembled a stand-up comedian addressing an appreciative audience. Then he began to laugh at his own quip as if he had invented humour just a few seconds ago with his well-timed one-liner.
Raising her voice over the commotion, Lady Ruth tactfully interrupted, stating, "In the interest of maintaining both professional etiquette and this occasion's decorum, may I ask you all to refrain from this sophomoric line of questioning for the duration of this conference?" Then Ruth quickly acknowledged a different reporter, sta
ting, "From Tom of the Vancouver Sun – your question please, sir!"
"Thank you, Lady Clarkson-Smythe. Getting back on topic, Dr. Ferengson . . . isn't it true that Malevcon recently settled a class action suit in Africa regarding gold mining activity? That is, the same Malevcon that is your new employer. Care to comment?"
Serious again, Ferengson defensively replied, "Certainly, Tom . . . Shakespeare said 'What's past is prologue.' I take that to mean what has happened serves as a reminder for the future. The important part of your question is that from my perspective, this is a thing from Malevcon's past. I played no part in it. Surely, you can respect that I would lose reputation faster than any wealth I could gain by allowing myself to be involved in anything environmentally unfriendly or exploitive . . ."
Another on-line reporter, this one from South Africa, home to most of the world's diamond mining ventures, interrupted, "But doctor, the removal of anything from the ground for any purpose is in itself an exploitive act."
Responding like a supportive advertisement, Ferengson banally expounded, "I can assure you that my primary function after performing all reviews, evaluations, and estimations, will be to undertake an exhaustively thorough regional exploration program before any other drill enters the Earth's surface." He paused for effect, and then slowly continued, "Even this I will follow with a due diligence report designed to protect the company, the environment, and the rest of the Earth's caretakers." Ferengson paused again, smiled, and with false magnanimity added, "Those concerned caretakers of tomorrow's world are today's youth, and diligent adults such as yourselves, and I want to thank each and every one of you out there . . ."
More than one reporter interrupted, which shut down Ferengson. But what will they print? Ruth thought his last statement was an ingenuous gratuity Ferengson sought for a later news sound byte. Had he successfully manipulated the press?
Lady Ruth allowed several more questions despite the sentiment in Ferengson's responses continuing to be false, yet his words sincere for quotation purposes. She respected that Ferengson had showmanship: he was photogenic, polished, and insincere – she wondered if he held political ambition.
On the other hand, while he was apparently a former PhD archaeology student; nevertheless, he did not much resemble a man interested in history for the sake of preserving antiquities: he more resembled a man who wanted to profit from them.
Then, another reporter questioned Ferengson regarding something called 'slant drilling'. Ferengson corrected the reporter by identifying the term instead as 'directional' drilling, whereupon the discussion turned into a semantics debate. As that argument raged on, Ferengson made another sexually inappropriate remark to Miss Levinski, and Lady Ruth felt compelled to end the media event.
Although not completely convinced that the content of the event matched her expectations, Ruth at least felt that the conference had brought Malevcon's mining activities in Peru to the world's eyes.
The handful of local journalists here today would return to work on foot through concrete urban tunnels while the odd traveler to Toronto would return to a hotel room afterwards. The majority of electronically represented journalists turned off their monitors and returned to their jobs in their various global locations.