‘Peace and goodwill,’ said Lydia. Her delicate mouth curved ironically. ‘I wonder! George and Magdalene are coming. They said they would probably arrive tomorrow. I’m afraid Magdalene will be frightfully bored.’
Alfred said with some slight annoyance:
‘Why my brother George ever married a girl twenty years younger than himself I can’t think! George was always a fool!’
‘He’s very successful in his career,’ said Lydia. ‘His constituents like him. I believe Magdalene works quite hard politically for him.’
Alfred said slowly:
‘I don’t think I like her very much. She is very good-looking—but I sometimes think she is like one of those beautiful pears one gets—they have a rosy flush and a rather waxen appearance—’ He shook his head.
‘And they’re bad inside?’ said Lydia. ‘How funny you should say that, Alfred!’
‘Why funny?’
She answered:
‘Because—usually—you are such a gentle soul. You hardly ever say an unkind thing about anyone. I get annoyed with you sometimes because you’re not sufficiently—oh, what shall I say?—sufficiently suspicious—not worldly enough!’
Her husband smiled.
‘The world, I always think, is as you yourself make it.’
Lydia said sharply:
‘No! Evil is not only in one’s mind. Evil exists! You seem to have no consciousness of the evil in the world. I have. I can feel it. I’ve always felt it—here in this house—’ She bit her lip and turned away.
Alfred said, ‘Lydia—’
But she raised a quick admonitory hand, her eyes looking past him at something over his shoulder. Alfred turned.
A dark man with a smooth face was standing there deferentially.
Lydia said sharply:
‘What is it, Horbury?’
Horbury’s voice was low, a mere deferential murmur.
‘It’s Mr Lee, madam. He asked me to tell you that there would be two more guests arriving for Christmas, and would you have rooms prepared for them.’
Lydia said, ‘Two more guests?’
Horbury said smoothly, ‘Yes, madam, another gentleman and a young lady.’
Alfred said wonderingly: ‘A young lady?’
‘That’s what Mr Lee said, sir.’
Lydia said quickly:
‘I will go up and see him—’
Horbury made one little step, it was a mere ghost of a movement but it stopped Lydia’s rapid progress automatically.
‘Excuse me, madam, but Mr Lee is having his afternoon sleep. He asked specifically that he should not be disturbed.’
‘I see,’ said Alfred. ‘Of course we won’t disturb him.’
‘Thank you, sir.’ Horbury withdrew.
Lydia said vehemently:
‘How I dislike that man! He creeps about the house like a cat! One never hears him going or coming.’
‘I don’t like him very much either. But he knows his job. It’s not so easy to get a good male nurse attendant. And Father likes him, that’s the main thing.’
‘Yes, that’s the main thing, as you say. Alfred, what is this about a young lady? What young lady?’
Her husband shook his head.
‘I can’t imagine. I can’t even think of anyone it might be likely to be.’
They stared at each other. Then Lydia said, with a sudden twist of her expressive mouth:
‘Do you know what I think, Alfred?’
‘What?’
‘I think your father has been bored lately. I think he is planning a little Christmas diversion for himself.’
‘By introducing two strangers into a family gathering?’
‘Oh! I don’t know what the details are—but I do fancy that your father is preparing to—amuse himself.’
‘I hope he will get some pleasure out of it,’ said Alfred gravely. ‘Poor old chap, tied by the leg, an invalid—after the adventurous life he has led.’
Lydia said slowly:
‘After the—adventurous life he has led.’
The pause she made before the adjective gave it some special though obscure significance. Alfred seemed to feel it. He flushed and looked unhappy.
She cried out suddenly:
‘How he ever had a son like you, I can’t imagine! You two are poles apart. And he fascinates you—you simply worship him!’
Alfred said with a trace of vexation:
‘Aren’t you going a little far, Lydia? It’s natural, I should say, for a son to love his father. It would be very unnatural not to do so.’
Lydia said:
‘In that case, most of the members of this family are—unnatural! Oh, don’t let’s argue! I apologize. I’ve hurt your feelings, I know. Believe me, Alfred, I really didn’t mean to do that. I admire you enormously for your—your—fidelity. Loyalty is such a rare virtue in these days. Let us say, shall we, that I am jealous? Women are supposed to be jealous of their mothers-in-law—why not, then, of their fathers-in-law?’
He put a gentle arm round her.
‘Your tongue runs away with you, Lydia. There’s no reason for you to be jealous.’
She gave him a quick remorseful kiss, a delicate caress on the tip of his ear.
‘I know. All the same, Alfred, I don’t believe I should have been in the least jealous of your mother. I wish I’d known her.’
‘She was a poor creature,’ he said.
His wife looked at him interestedly.
‘So that’s how she struck you…as a poor creature…That’s interesting.’
He said dreamily:
‘I remember her as nearly always ill…Often in tears…’ He shook his head. ‘She had no spirit.’
Still staring at him, she murmured very softly:
‘How odd…’
But as he turned a questioning glance on her, she shook her head quickly and changed the subject.
‘Since we are not allowed to know who our mysterious guests are I shall go out and finish my garden.’
‘It’s very cold, my dear, a biting wind.’
‘I’ll wrap up warmly.’
She left the room. Alfred Lee, left alone, stood for some minutes motionless, frowning a little to himself, then he walked over to the big window at the end of the room. Outside was a terrace running the whole length of the house. Here, after a minute or two, he saw Lydia emerge, carrying a flat basket. She was wearing a big blanket coat. She set down the basket and began to work at a square stone sink slightly raised above ground level.
Her husband watched for some time. At last he went out of the room, fetched himself a coat and muffler, and emerged on to the terrace by a side door. As he walked along he passed various other stone sinks arranged as miniature gardens, all the products of Lydia’s agile fingers.
One represented a desert scene with smooth yellow sand, a little clump of green palm trees in coloured tin, and a procession of camels with one or two little Arab figures. Some primitive mud houses had been constructed of plasticine. There was an Italian garden with terraces and formal beds with flowers in coloured sealing-wax. There was an Arctic one, too, with clumps of green glass for icebergs, and a little cluster of penguins. Next came a Japanese garden with a couple of beautiful little stunted trees, looking-glass arranged for water, and bridges modelled out of plasticine.
He came at last to stand beside her where she was at work. She had laid down blue paper and covered it over with glass. Round this were lumps of rock piled up. At the moment she was pouring out coarse pebbles from a little bag and forming them into a beach. Between the rocks were some small cactuses.
Lydia was murmuring to herself:
‘Yes, that’s exactly right—exactly what I want.’
Alfred said:
‘What’s this latest work of art?’
She started, for she had not heard him come up.
‘This? Oh, it’s the Dead Sea, Alfred. Do you like it?’
He said, ‘It’s rather arid, isn’t it? Oughtn’t the
re to be more vegetation?’
She shook her head.
‘It’s my idea of the Dead Sea. It is dead, you see—’
‘It’s not so attractive as some of the others.’
‘It’s not meant to be specially attractive.’
Footsteps sounded on the terrace. An elderly butler, white-haired and slightly bowed, was coming towards them.
‘Mrs George Lee on the telephone, madam. She says will it be convenient if she and Mr George arrive by the five-twenty tomorrow?’
‘Yes, tell her that will be quite all right.’
‘Thank you, madam.’
The butler hurried away. Lydia looked after him with a softened expression on her face.
‘Dear old Tressilian. What a standby he is! I can’t imagine what we should do without him.’
Alfred agreed.
‘He’s one of the old school. He’s been with us nearly forty years. He’s devoted to us all.’
Lydia nodded.
‘Yes. He’s like the faithful old retainers of fiction. I believe he’d lie himself blue in the face if it was necessary to protect one of the family!’
Alfred said:
‘I believe he would…Yes, I believe he would.’
Lydia smoothed over the last bit of her shingle.
‘There,’ she said. ‘That’s ready.’
‘Ready?’ Alfred looked puzzled.
She laughed.
‘For Christmas, silly! For this sentimental family Christmas we’re going to have.’
IV
David was reading the letter. Once he screwed it up into a ball and thrust it away from him. Then, reaching for it, he smoothed it out and read it again.
Quietly, without saying anything, his wife, Hilda, watched him. She noted the jerking muscle (or was it a nerve?) in his temple, the slight tremor of the long delicate hands, the nervous spasmodic movements of his whole body. When he pushed aside the lock of fair hair that always tended to stray down over his forehead and looked across at her with appealing blue eyes she was ready.
‘Hilda, what shall we do about it?’
Hilda hesitated a minute before speaking. She had heard the appeal in his voice. She knew how dependent he was upon her—had always been ever since their marriage—knew that she could probably influence his decision finally and decisively. But for just that reason she was chary of pronouncing anything too final.
She said, and her voice had the calm, soothing quality that can be heard in the voice of an experienced nannie in a nursery:
‘It depends on how you feel about it, David.’
A broad woman, Hilda, not beautiful, but with a certain magnetic quality. Something about her like a Dutch picture. Something warming and endearing in the sound of her voice. Something strong about her—the vital hidden strength that appeals to weakness. An over-stout dumpy middle-aged woman—not clever—not brilliant—but with something about her that you couldn’t pass over. Force! Hilda Lee had force!
David got up and began pacing up and down. His hair was practically untouched by grey. He was strangely boyish-looking. His face had the mild quality of a Burne Jones knight. It was, somehow, not very real…
He said, and his voice was wistful:
‘You know how I feel about it, Hilda. You must.’
‘I’m not sure.’
‘But I’ve told you—I’ve told you again and again! How I hate it all—the house and the country round and everything! It brings back nothing but misery. I hated every moment that I spent there! When I think of it—of all that she suffered—my mother…’
His wife nodded sympathetically.
‘She was so sweet, Hilda, and so patient. Lying there, often in pain, but bearing it—enduring everything. And when I think of my father’—his face darkened—‘bringing all that misery into her life—humiliating her—boasting of his love affairs—constantly unfaithful to her and never troubling to conceal it.’
Hilda Lee said:
‘She should not have put up with it. She should have left him.’
He said with a touch of reproof:
‘She was too good to do that. She thought it was her duty to remain. Besides, it was her home—where else should she go?’
‘She could have made a life of her own.’
David said fretfully:
‘Not in those days! You don’t understand. Women didn’t behave like that. They put up with things. They endured patiently. She had us to consider. Even if she divorced my father, what would have happened? He would probably have married again. There might have been a second family. Our interests might have gone to the wall. She had to think of all those considerations.’
Hilda did not answer.
David went on:
‘No, she did right. She was a saint! She endured to the end—uncomplainingly.’
Hilda said, ‘Not quite uncomplainingly or you would not know so much, David!’
He said softly, his face lighting up:
‘Yes—she told me things—She knew how I loved her. When she died—’
He stopped. He ran his hands through his hair.
‘Hilda, it was awful—horrible! The desolation! She was quite young still, she needn’t have died. He killed her—my father! He was responsible for her dying. He broke her heart. I decided then that I’d not go on living under his roof. I broke away—got away from it all.’
Hilda nodded.
‘You were very wise,’ she said. ‘It was the right thing to do.’
David said:
‘Father wanted me to go into the works. That would have meant living at home. I couldn’t have stood that. I can’t think how Alfred stands it—how he has stood it all these years.’
‘Did he never rebel against it?’ asked Hilda with some interest. ‘I thought you told me something about his having given up some other career.’
David nodded.
‘Alfred was going into the army. Father arranged it all. Alfred, the eldest, was to go into some cavalry regiment, Harry was to go into the works, so was I. George was to enter politics.’
‘And it didn’t work out like that?’
David shook his head.
‘Harry broke all that up! He was always frightfully wild. Got into debt—and all sorts of other troubles. Finally he went off one day with several hundred pounds that didn’t belong to him, leaving a note behind him saying an office stool didn’t suit him and he was going to see the world.’
‘And you never heard any more of him?’
‘Oh, yes, we did!’ David laughed. ‘We heard quite often! He was always cabling for money from all over the world. He usually got it too!’
‘And Alfred?’
‘Father made him chuck up the army and come back and go into the works.’
‘Did he mind?’
‘Very much to begin with. He hated it. But Father could always twist Alfred round his little finger. He’s absolutely under Father’s thumb still, I believe.’
‘And you—escaped!’ said Hilda.
‘Yes. I went to London and studied painting. Father told me plainly that if I went off on a fool’s errand like that I’d get a small allowance from him during his lifetime and nothing when he died. I said I didn’t care. He called me a young fool, and that was that! I’ve never seen him since.’
Hilda said gently:
‘And you haven’t regretted it?’
‘No, indeed. I realize I shan’t ever get anywhere with my art. I shall never be a great artist—but we’re happy enough in this cottage—we’ve got everything we want—all the essentials. And if I die, well, my life’s insured for you.’
He paused and then said:
‘And now—this!’
He struck the letter with his open hand.
‘I am sorry your father ever wrote that letter, if it upsets you so much,’ said Hilda.
David went on as though he had not heard her.
‘Asking me to bring my wife for Christmas, expressing a hope that we may be all together for C
hristmas; a united family! What can it mean?’
Hilda said:
‘Need it mean anything more than it says?’
He looked at her questioningly.
‘I mean,’ she said, smiling, ‘that your father is growing old. He’s beginning to feel sentimental about family ties. That does happen, you know.’
‘I suppose it does,’ said David slowly.
‘He’s an old man and he’s lonely.’
He gave her a quick look.
‘You want me to go, don’t you, Hilda?’
She said slowly:
‘It seems a pity—not to answer an appeal. I’m old-fashioned, I dare say, but why not have peace and goodwill at Christmas time?’
‘After all I’ve told you?’
‘I know, dear, I know. But all that’s in the past. It’s all done and finished with.’
‘Not for me.’
‘No, because you won’t let it die. You keep the past alive in your own mind.’
‘I can’t forget.’
‘You won’t forget—that’s what you mean, David.’
His mouth set in a firm line.
‘We’re like that, we Lees. We remember things for years—brood about them, keep memory green.’
Hilda said with a touch of impatience:
‘Is that anything to be proud of? I do not think so!’
He looked thoughtfully at her, a touch of reserve in his manner.
He said: ‘You don’t attach much value to loyalty, then—loyalty to a memory?’
Hilda said:
‘I believe the present matters—not the past! The past must go. If we seek to keep the past alive, we end, I think, by distorting it. We see it in exaggerated terms—a false perspective.’
‘I can remember every word and every incident of those days perfectly,’ said David passionately.
‘Yes, but you shouldn’t, my dear! It isn’t natural to do so! You’re applying the judgment of a boy to those days instead of looking back on them with the more temperate outlook of a man.’
‘What difference would that make?’ demanded David.
Hilda hesitated. She was aware of unwisdom in going on, and yet there were things she badly wanted to say.
‘I think,’ she said, ‘that you’re seeing your father as a bogy! Probably, if you were to see him now, you would realize that he was only a very ordinary man; a man, perhaps, whose passions ran away with him, a man whose life was far from blameless, but nevertheless merely a man—not a kind of inhuman monster!’