“Yeah, well I hate you too! You left me here alone all morning to deal with all the crazy people in this town,” I yell at both of them. “I found out how Jed was murdered, and I’m pretty sure I know what the murder weapon was, and I didn’t say anything to Leo about it, and I feel horrible because I think I’m falling in love with him, and then I find those mugs he left me, and then people start dropping off food and telling me they missed me and all kinds of other nice shit that just makes me nervous, and neither one of you were here to assist me in my time of need!”
Emma Jo wraps her arms around me from my side and Bettie goes back to Baby Cecil to finish making coffee.
“We’re sorry, but we’re here now. Let’s discuss the most important part of what you just said. You’re falling in love with Leo?!” she asks excitedly.
“Seriously? That’s all you got out of that?”
She shrugs and drops her arms from around me when Bettie hands me a mug of fresh coffee.
“Yeah, I’d like to review that statement as well,” Bettie says.
“We’re not reviewing anything because I don’t want to talk about it. I live in Chicago, remember? My life is in Chicago, not in Bald Knob,” I remind them, hating the hitch in my voice when I state the facts that suddenly make me really sad all over again. “How about we discuss what the two of you were doing this morning and why you weren’t here when I needed you?”
Bettie and Emma Jo share a look and I wait them out, crossing my arms and tapping my foot until one of them finally gives in. Emma Jo is the first to crack, unable to hold it together under the stare of my irritated glare.
“We called a meeting down at the square and I told everyone that Jed abused me our entire marriage,” Emma Jo blurts out, wincing as soon as she finishes when my irritated glare turns into full blown anger.
“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” I screech.
“Oh, pipe down, nut job,” Bettie says with an eye roll. “It was time, Payton. And look what happened? The entire town stopped thinking you were a murderer, and now they love you and want to make you fat with all this greasy food. You’re welcome.”
“Sure, the town is being good to me now, but that’s how it always starts. They get you all nice and complacent and then they turn on you like a pack of wild dogs when your guard is down. And look what else is going to happen? Emma Jo is going to be the new suspect and focus of gossip now that the town knows she had a legitimate reason for killing Jed, and she’ll never be able to ride off into the sunset with Buddy and have a good life,” I complain.
“Sweetie, you need to stop worrying about me so much,” Emma Jo says softly, wrapping me in her arms once again. “I love you, and I will never be able to thank you enough for coming home, and taking care of me and making me see just how strong I could be. You’ve done more than enough, Payton. I won’t let you take the blame for Jed’s murder and deal with the wrath of this town on top of that. I can’t. It’s not who I am and you know that.”
My eyes blur with tears and I start to wonder where the hell they’re all coming from. I’ve never cried this much in my entire life.
“Also, I’m not riding off into the sunset with Buddy Lloyd. I don’t even like him,” she scoffs.
“Nice try, asshole. I’ve seen the way you stare at his ass whenever he’s around,” Bettie laughs.
When Emma Jo starts to protest again, Bettie claps her hands together.
“Alright, The Crying Game is over. The people of Bald Knob love Payton and again we need to make sure it sticks this time, especially because that lasagna is fucking delicious and I’d like whoever made it to keep dropping it off,” Bettie announces, pointing at the foil-covered pan next to her. “Emma Jo, go hunt up some more wine. Payton is going to suck it up, try and convince us of all the stupid reasons why she can’t fall in love with Leo, and then we’re going to discuss that little murder thing that happened and this murder weapon you seem to know something about.”
Emma Jo quickly goes to the fridge to procure more wine.
“Tonight’s secret word is murder weapon!” she announces, turning from the fridge and holding up two bottles of wine.
Seriously, how did I get so lucky to have friends like these two? Looks like it’s another night of drinking and poor life choices.
CHAPTER 34
Coffee before talkie.
—Coffee Mug
Thankfully, I managed to keep the wine drinking to a minimum the rest of the day, because being drunk tonight and then hungover again tomorrow is something I don’t need right now. Emma Jo pouted when I took her wine glass away and put the wine back in the fridge, but she was mollified when I pulled out the murder suspect list and gave her and Bettie something else to do other than scream, “MURDER WEAPON!” and drink themselves into a coma.
After going over the list for several hours, I started to feel really bad about pointing fingers when these people had showered me with food and compliments all day. Sure, I was still afraid they’d turn on me at any moment, but right now, it felt good to be liked by everyone and very, very bad to be trying to figure out which one of them we should accuse of murder.
When I told Bettie and Emma Jo about the cause of Jed’s death and how it was something sharp and pointy, they were as confused as I was regarding the whereabouts of the award that used to sit on the front table. Bettie never remembered seeing it and Emma Jo said she hadn’t paid much attention to it, but that the last time she saw it was when I was holding it my hand, shoving the thing toward Leo’s chest when he showed up at the house and I didn’t know who he really was, assuming he was just the guy from the hospital and he was stalking me. Which of course made me freak out that my fingerprints were all over that damn thing, but Bettie assured me that since we know for a fact I didn’t really kill Jed, someone else’s fingerprints would be on it too. And if they wiped it cleaned and it turned up somewhere, mine would have been wiped off in the process too.
All of this information did little to calm my nerves, and Bettie was proved right once again when I tried my best to convince myself and them that falling in love with Leo was the worst idea ever, but it didn’t work. The more time I spent with him and the more I got to know him, I knew it was a battle of the heart I’d never win, especially after the whole coffee mug present he left in the kitchen this morning. How do you not fall completely, head-over-heels in love with a guy who does something like that for you? And how do you choose between him and the business you scarified everything for, and worked your hands to the bone to build from the ground up, and the life you love almost as much in another state?
The answer is – you can’t. Which leaves me to wear I am now. Feeling like shit, all alone in Emma Jo’s house, curled up on the couch, and staring at the TV I didn’t even have the strength to turn on. Bettie and Emma Jo decided to head up to The Hungry Bear to get dinner a little while ago, and I declined their invitation to go with them, which they were far too excited about and okay with, grabbing their purses and practically running out of the house. It was a little suspicious that they felt the need to go out for food when we had an entire kitchen filled with everything you could imagine, and I knew they left and were happy I didn’t go with them because Leo would be here any minute and they assumed I was going to profess my undying love for him. They’ll find out soon enough that the only profession I’m going to be doing is about the award on the hall table and how I was the last one to touch it.
I hear Leo’s car pull into the driveway and I wipe my hands nervously down the skirt of my short, strapless, eyelet white sundress as I get up from the couch and meet him at the front door.
“Hi,” I greet him softly, opening the door before he can knock.
“Jesus, how do you get more beautiful each time I see you,” he mutters as he keeps walking toward me, scooping me up into his arms in the doorway and planting a kiss on my lips.
He sets me back down on my feet, pulls his mouth away from mine, and looks down at me with a soft smile.
 
; “Hi,” he says, finally returning my initial greeting. “How was your day?”
I move out of his arms and step out of the way so he can come inside, closing the door behind him.
“Oh, nothing too eventful. I got a box of amazing coffee mugs from this hot guy I know, and then the entire town decided to stop by, bring me food, and tell me they don’t hate me anymore. You know, the usual,” I answer with a shrug.
“A hot guy gave you coffee mugs? Wow, he must be pretty awesome,” Leo replies with a grin.
“Jesus, you’re just like Emma Jo. Focusing in on the least shocking part of whatever I say,” I complain.
Leo laughs, cupping my face in his hands and kissing the tip of my nose.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. Having the entire town decide they don’t hate you is a big deal. I heard all about Emma Jo’s announcement on the town square. How’s she doing?” he asks.
“Oh, she’s perfectly fine. She couldn’t care less that all of her secrets are currently being spread all over town and everyone will be pointing at her and whispering about her for the next fifty years,” I mutter in irritation.
“Okay, let me rephrase that. How are you doing since Emma Jo told the whole town what Jed did to her?” Leo asks softly, rubbing his thumbs back and forth against my cheeks, and making me feel like a jerk, though I know he didn’t mean to.
“I know, I get it. I have no right to be upset about any of this. It’s Emma Jo’s life, it happened to her and it’s her choice whether or not she wants one person or five hundred to know what kind of hell she lived through for twelve years. I just never wanted her to put herself out there like that, especially not for me,” I admit quietly, looking away from his eyes to stare at the collar of his t-shirt.
“What do you mean, especially not for you? What’s wrong with someone doing something for you for a change?”
“Why should she do anything for me?” I fire back, bring my hands up between us to pick imaginary lint from his shirt. “I was a shitty friend to her for twelve years, and I had no idea what was going on back here because I didn’t want to know. I left and I didn’t look back, and I didn’t care.”
Leo sighs, putting more pressure on the hold he has of my face to tilt it up and force me to look at him.
“Just because you think you were a bad friend, doesn’t mean you should have to deal with the whole town blaming you for a murder you didn’t commit, Payton. It’s insane and I’m sorry, but I’m glad Emma Jo told everyone. I know it was hard for her, and I know she’ll have a long road ahead of her to heal from all of this, but as you saw today, the people here…they’re good people. They take care of their own and they’re going to take care of Emma Jo and protect her, just like you did.”
For some ungodly reason, it seems like I still have tears left and they quickly fill up my eyes and spill over onto my cheeks, where Leo’s thumbs swipe them away one by one as they fall.
“Uuugghhh, I hate crying. Crying is so dumb. Tell me about your day,” I demand, pulling away from him so I can stand in front of the hall mirror, wipe my own cheeks and get my shit together, considering I need to prepare myself to come clean about the award.
“Well, you’re not the only one who had an eventful day,” he says, coming up behind me and watching through the reflection as I dry my tears and wish I could be a pretty crier, like women in movies. “It seems poor Buddy had his hands full after Emma Jo’s announcement when the whole town filed into the station and every one of them confessed to Jed’s murder.”
My eyes meet his in the mirror, and when I see he’s not kidding, I whirl around to face him.
“What? Are you serious?”
Leo laughs, but it’s not really one filled with humor. It leans more toward exhaustion and frustration, which is evident when he runs his hand through his hair in his signature “I’m about to lose my shit” move.
“Dead serious,” he replies, then quickly winces. “Sorry, bad choice of words. So, yeah, everyone rallied around you and confessed to the murder because they felt bad about blaming you now that they know you came home to help Emma Jo and the reasons why. And I can’t take any of those people seriously which means I still don’t have a prime suspect, a reason for the murder, or a murder weapon.”
My heart starts beating faster and my palms start to sweat as soon as he says murder weapon. I glance over at the empty hall table and my stomach immediately gets tied in knots.
“Leo, I-”
He moves in the blink of an eye, swooping me back up in his arms and cutting off my words with his mouth. Just like every time he kisses me, I lose all sense of reason and I lose myself in him. He deepens the kiss and lifts me up against him, my legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he moves us through the house, stopping at the base of the stairs to break the kiss.
“Whatever you were going to say, can it wait until tomorrow?” he asks, hefting me up higher with one arm and bringing the other one up to smooth his palm down the side of my face. “This has been a shitty day, at the end of a shitty week, and right now, I don’t want to think about murderers or the meddling people of Bald Knob. I don’t want to think about anything for the next ten to twelve hours but getting you naked as fast as possible, sinking myself inside of you, and forgetting about everything else around us. Right now, I just need you, Payton.”
Jesus, how do you say no to something like that?
“So what you’re saying is, you want me to distract you with sex?” I ask, looking down at him with a smile as I run my fingers through his hair.
He smiles back up at me and I lean down and kiss him while he grabs onto my ass with both hands and carries me up the stairs.
I forget about the secrets I’m keeping when he lays back on the bed and pulls me on top of him so I’m straddling his thighs.
I forget about murder weapons and suspects when I lift up just enough to unbutton his jeans, slide down his zipper, and reach inside his boxer briefs to palm his hardness and pull it out.
I forget about my life in Chicago and how whatever this is that’s happening between us will never work out, when he pushes my dress up to my hips, slides my white lace underwear to the side with one hand and clutches my hip with the other to position my body over him.
I forget my name and what day it is when he thrusts his hips up, filling me so quickly and perfectly that his name comes out as a gasp when I almost forget how to breathe.
He holds tightly to my hips, slamming me up and down on top of him until there’s nothing I can feel, nothing I can do, and nothing else I care about but taking away his worries and making him forget right along with me.
It’s fast and it’s hard and it’s wild, and somewhere along the way, Leo rips my dress the rest of the way off of my body and tosses it across the room, pushing himself up to sitting so he can slide a lacy cup of my strapless bra to the side and latch his lips to my nipple, sucking it into his mouth. I move up and down faster and harder in his lap, gripping his hair tightly in my fingers until we’re both covered in sweat, moaning and muttering each other’s names.
When he pulls my nipple harder into his mouth and moves his fingers between my thighs to rub and slide them against that perfect spot, I come with his name on my lips and he quickly follows, pumping up inside of me and jerking his hips between my legs until we both get lost in blissfully mindless oblivion.
CHAPTER 35
I’m a bitch before coffee. And after.
—Coffee Mug
Pulling Emma Jo’s car into the driveway, I grab the bag of Styrofoam containers from the front passenger seat and head into the house, knowing I only offered to go pick up breakfast so I could butter Leo up and to get out of the house as fast as possible so I could have a little time to collect my thoughts.
Don’t judge me. Desperate times call for desperate measures and an omelet from The Hungry Bear would have to do.
As soon as I walk through the front door and head toward the kitchen, I see Leo coming down the hallway and I smil
e at him as I pause and wait for him to get to me. The fierce, pissed-off look on his face makes my smile drop and I set the bags of food down on the floor by my feet. He walks right by me without saying a word and I quickly turn and grab onto his arm.
“Hey, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”
He jerks his arm out of my hand and the look he gives me is enough to make any woman want to shrivel up into a ball and go off to cry in a corner.
“First, you keep a secret about the damn pie, then, I can tell you’re still keeping something from me even though you promised you wouldn’t, but I let it go because I just wanted to be with you and none of that seemed important in the grand scheme of things,” he states in a low, angry voice that renders me speechless. “This whole time, I’ve been busy falling in love with you, and you’ve been busy planning your fucking wedding.”
“Sweetheart, you’re home!”
This confusing, Twilight Zone moment is brought to you by Benjamin Montgomery, the dumbass who just waltzed into the hallway from the kitchen.
When I realize what Leo is so upset about, ignoring the minor detail about me still keeping something from him and COMPLETELY passing right over that whole declaration of love thing for the time being, my heart stops trying to beat its way out of my chest and I stop panicking. And start laughing. Which is the absolute opposite thing you should do when a guy you’ve been sleeping with who thinks he’s in love with you, who looks five seconds away from slamming his fist into the wall, and also thinks he just found out you’ve been lying to him about being engaged.
“Glad you find this amusing,” Leo growls at me, looking over at Benjamin and giving him a nod. “Nice talk, Ben. You’ll excuse me if I don’t feel like staying around to chat more.”
“It’s BENJAMIN,” the dumbass replies as Leo turns and stalks to the door, yanking it open so hard it slams against the wall.