“It’s okay,” he said. “I have an idea.” He spread his legs out on either side of me, and then got an arm around me. Tugging me back, he wrapped the blanket around us. “See? We’re like a burrito.”
I stayed put, not leaning against him, but I could already feel the warmth coming over me. Being this close to him was nerve-racking in a way it never had been before, so it took me a few moments to find my voice. “It’s a pretty cool burrito.”
“I think so.” A couple of moments passed. “What do you think the gang is doing back home?”
I focused on the flames. “Probably hanging out with family. I think Andrea was going to go to Tanner’s parents’ house.”
“Are they together?” Confusion marked his question. “I never know what’s going on between those two.”
I laughed and began to relax, loosening my white-knuckle grip on the blanket. “I really don’t know, either. It’s anyone’s guess.”
“Those two are crazy. I don’t even think they’ve gone out on a date.”
“They haven’t. I don’t think they’ve done anything, but I still bet they’ll end up married with tons of babies.”
Kyler chuckled as he leaned back against the foot of the recliner behind him. “You know what I was thinking?”
I glanced over my shoulder at him. His head was tipped back, exposing the expanse of his neck. He had a sexy throat. Hell, the boy had a sexy everything. A smile tugged at my lips as my chest warmed up. “What?”
“I was thinking about changing majors.”
“Huh?” I laughed. “You’re graduating in the spring, Kyler.”
He grinned as he lowered his chin. His eyes were a warm brown. “It’s too late for that?”
“Probably.” I wiggled around so I was half-facing him. He spread out one leg, giving me more room. “You don’t want to do business management? Like your mom and stepfather?”
Those full lips of his pursed thoughtfully. “Honestly?”
“Yeah.” Business management might sound lame to some people, but there were a lot of stable careers in that and money to be made. Especially for someone like Kyler, who had the connections needed to start his own business, which according to the last time I’d talked to his mom, was following in her footsteps. I really tried not to think about that, because it meant that once we graduated, I’d stay in Maryland to get my doctorate, and Kyler would start traveling, like his mom. After spending more than half my life with him within arm’s length, I wasn’t sure how I’d handle the separation.
It sort of struck me then, my sudden inability to ignore my wild monkey lust for him and my feelings that were stronger than friendship. We’d be separated sooner rather than later. Knots filled my stomach.
His eyes met mine, expression suddenly seriously. “I don’t know.”
Truth was, Kyler had the luxury of changing his mind this late in the game. His family had enough money that he could hold off graduating. He could go back and get another degree. He could do nothing. My parents were nowhere near as wealthy as his. My dad ran his own insurance office and mom taught at the local private school, so there’d been a college fund for me, but if I decided to change my mind now or take a few years off before grad school, my parents would kick my ass from here to home and back again.
“What do you want to do?” I asked, but I already had a suspicion.
“Travel the world as a millionaire playboy?”
“Ha. Funny.”
He flashed a quick grin. “Seriously?”
I nodded.
“Restoring old bars and shit? I don’t know about that. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a bad job.”
“No, it’s not. But?”
The light in the ceiling flickered as the wind gusted. He smiled, and I released the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “You know how my minor is in biology, right? And I’ve been adding a lot of math classes in?”
“Yeah,” I said, relaxing into him. He seemed to be okay with that, because he shifted so that my head was against his chest and his arms were clasped around me. “I just figured something was wrong with your brain for taking those classes.”
He laughed. “Nah, my brain functions normally, most of the time.” There was a pause, and then he said, “I was thinking about going to vet school after graduating.”
My eyes fell shut as my heart did this stupid squeeze-floating thing. Kyler’s biggest soft spot had always been animals. Once, in the third grade, he’d found a pigeon outside on the playground. Its wing had been broken, and left alone, it would have surely died. He’d kicked a fit, and I mean, refusing to sit at his desk and everything, until the teacher dug up a small box.
Kyler had marched out onto the playground and scooped up the little bird. He’d also made his mom take it to the vet. A pigeon—a creature that no one else would’ve given a crap about. He’d become my hero in that moment.
“Syd?” There was uncertainty in his voice, like he thought I might think giving up a career where he could make millions for one where the main payback would be helping animals was insane.
I inhaled a shaky breath as I snuggled closer. I couldn’t have Kyler the way I wanted him. I knew that, accepted that. The drunken version of me didn’t, obviously, but still, I was proud to call him a friend. “I think it’s a great idea.”
“You do?” He sounded surprised.
I smiled. “I think it’s wonderful. It’s something you feel passionate about. You should do it.”
Kyler didn’t respond, but I felt some tension seep out of him. Something I hadn’t really noticed until then. Maybe that’s what he needed. Affirmation.
As we sat there in the silence, watching the flames create dancing shadows along the wood walls, I realized something else in that moment. Even though I knew that all we ever would have between us was friendship, I loved him.
Oh man…
I would always love Kyler Quinn.
I was so screwed.
Chapter 10
Sydney
We were going to lose power. The wind was going crazy outside, beating at the house and the power lines. Why no one had thought about running those suckers underground was beyond me.
Lights flickered on and off for the entire evening. Around nine, the snow started coming down so fast and thick, I couldn’t see anything outside the windows. The white stuff blanketed the limbs on the pines, weighing them down. I’d gone to bed hours ago, but couldn’t sleep. My mind was obsessing over everything—me molesting Kyler, the killer snowmobile, and how long we were going to be stuck here. The wind wasn’t helping. It sounded like the house was going to cave in on me.
Frustrated, I turned away from the window and tightened the quilt I had wrapped around my shoulders. I crept out into the hallway, not wanting to wake Kyler.
I made it halfway down the hall before I heard a door creak open. “Syd?”
Sighing, I turned around and nearly started drooling. Kyler stood in the bedroom doorway, shirtless in pajama pants. His stomach… why did his stomach have to look like that? All rippled and hard and stuff…
“Syd?” He stepped out, closing the door behind him. “Are you okay?”
“Aren’t you cold?” I sort of wanted to smack myself after saying that.
He grinned. “I wasn’t until I got out of bed.”
“Good point.” I shifted my weight, feeling like a turd. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay.” He sauntered over to me, all hundred-percent male, and I kind of hated him for that. “You can’t sleep?”
I shook my head as I stifled a yawn. “The wind, it sounds like it’s ripping the entire—”
A loud crack interrupted and caused me to jump. From the window at the end of the hall, the sky lit up with a shower of sparks, and then the entire house rumbled for several seconds. Overhead, the hallway light flickered twice, and then went out, plunging the hall into complete darkness.
“Shit,” Kyler said, and I felt his hand on my back. “I think
the power just got knocked out. The backup generator should kick on.”
I blinked, trying to get my eyes to adjust, but I could only make out his silhouette. The lights hadn’t come back on, but I could hear something gearing up, like a low-level hum. Air was blowing out of the vents in the hall, nowhere near the power before, and didn’t curb the cold sneaking into the house.
He cursed again. “Stay here.”
“I’m so not moving.”
I heard him walk back toward the window. “Well, triple shit. One of the pines just came down, hitting the power lines.” He turned, aggravated. “The backup will only run in emergency-mode—heat at a minimal, enough to keep pipes from freezing and the fridge—stuff like that.” He was back in front of me again, his breath warm against my forehead. “Go back into the bedroom while I check downstairs and make sure everything’s okay.”
“Okay.” Nervous, I tightened my hold on the blanket. My heart was pounding fast. “Do…do you have to go?”
His hand was on my back again. “I’ll just be a few minutes.”
“Sorry, but all I can think about are those people who were stranded in the snow and had to eat one another.”
Kyler laughed deeply. “Baby, that was like in the eighteen-hundreds or something. We’ll be fine. I’ll be right back.”
“You’re not going to be saying that when I start chewing on your leg like a zombie.” But I put my hand on the wall, using it as a guide to the room while he moved through the darkness like a damn cat.
Once inside the bedroom, I scurried over to the window. Snow fell in gusts, but with it covering everything, the entire ground glowed in the dim moonlight to my dark-adjusted eyes. A giant pine had snapped in half, a black silhouette against the snow. I shivered. Being stranded sucked bad enough, but having only backup power with the snowstorm of the century now just gearing up? I think God just smited us.
I headed back to the bed and climbed under the covers, tucking them under my chin. I lay on my side, watching the door. When I heard his footsteps a few minutes later, I tensed.
He carried a candle and its soft glow cast shadows over his cheekbones. Placing it on the nightstand, he sat beside me. “I’m sorry about this.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Coming up here every year is my idea. You could be home, but now you’re stuck up here, worrying that we’re going to start eating each other.”
I laughed softly. “I really don’t think we’ll start eating each other.”
“Well, I hope if you do, you don’t start with my face. I’m told it’s my most valuable asset.” I could hear the grin in his voice and it made me smile. “But it’s going to get cold, Syd.”
“I know, but it’s not your fault. I like coming up here.”
He was silent for a moment. “You know, I never understood why. You don’t even like to ski or do anything like that.”
I chewed on my lower lip. “I like to spend time with you—with everyone.” My cheeks heated. “I just like doing this with everyone.”
Kyler reached over and in the dim light, he found the strand of hair against my cheek and tucked it back. “I’m glad you came.”
I got all kinds of warm at hearing that. “Only because you’d be all alone right now.”
He laughed deeply, and then cut a look toward the window as the wind screamed. “Nah, that’s not the only reason.”
Now my heart was doing jumping jacks.
Kyler picked up the edge of the blanket. “Scoot over.”
My eyes popped wide. “What?”
“It’s going to get cold in here, and I know you’re not sleeping because of the wind. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.” He paused. “And besides, without a shirt, I am freezing my ass off right now.”
“Okay.” I stuttered that word like an idiot as I scooted over. Then I rolled over onto my other side, because I was sure I couldn’t face him in bed.
He slid under the covers, and even though a few inches separated our bodies, I could feel him. Totally weird, but my entire back warmed and the urge to wiggle back and really feel him was hard to ignore.
“You’re okay with this?” His voice sounded like it was right in my ear. “I guess I should’ve asked that before I told you to move over, huh?”
“Yes,” I whispered. “I’m okay with this.”
“Good.” He settled onto his side, and I knew he was facing me. We were spooning! But we weren’t touching, so I guess that didn’t count. “Because I think this bed is way more comfortable than mine, and I kind of don’t want to leave.”
I really didn’t want him to leave. This was like heaven to me. I closed my eyes, soaking up his nearness like he was my own personal sun.
“Do you remember doing this when we were kids?” he asked.
“Yeah, I do.” But it was way different now. Back then, it had been so chaste, and we’d just been two kids having fun during a sleepover. Before I’d wanted to jump his bones and do all kinds of naughty things to him.
And now I was thinking about those naughty things, like rolling over and pressing against him, placing my lips against his. Touching him. Him touching me. Getting naked.
I really needed to stop thinking about those kinds of things.
“Syd?”
“Yeah?”
There was a pause. “I promise I won’t hog the covers this time around.”
I smiled even as my chest squeezed. “I’ll hold you to that.”
I don’t know how I fell asleep with the object of my lust sleeping beside me, but I must’ve, because I could tell hours had passed before the roaring wind woke me. I started to sit up, but I couldn’t move. When what held me down sunk in, my eyes flew open and the air rushed out of my lungs.
Kyler’s arm was curled around my waist, but more than that, his entire body was snug against mine. Every deep, steady breath he took moved through me. His warm breath danced along the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. There was no way I could sleep next to him when he was spooning me—really spooning me this time. I doubted even a nun could have that kind of willpower. I wiggled away, getting a couple of inches between us, before the arm around my waist clamped down.
I held my breath.
Kyler dragged me to him, fitting my back to his front and—holy snow bunnies—he was aroused. I could feel him through our pajamas, long and thick, pressing against my rear.
My body immediately responded, going from sleepy to well, hello there in a matter of seconds. Didn’t matter that I told my body not to, or that I really had no idea what to do with all of that. Warmth flooded my veins and an ache hit my core nonetheless.
This was nothing like the sleepovers we’d had as kids.
“Kyler?”
He murmured something and managed to move closer, his chin finding its way to the sensitive area between my neck and shoulder. Shivers raced across my skin. I think I might have stopped breathing. The arm around my waist shifted, and his hand slid down my lower stomach. The movement had bunched up my shirt, exposing a decent bit of skin. Heart pounding against my ribs, I bit down on my lip until I tasted blood.
Kyler’s fingers brushed against my bare skin, causing me to jerk back. A deep, sexy sound came out of him and he rolled his hips forward, pressing into me as his fingers splayed out, slipping under the loose band of my jammies. Never a big fan of wearing undies to bed, I was bare under the bottoms, and his fingers were so, so close.
I had to be dreaming, because this couldn’t be happening, and I never wanted to wake up.
His warms lips brushed the side of my neck. I thought it was by accident at first, and then his mouth was against my pulse, placing a hot kiss there. Those tiny kisses kept coming, traveling down my throat. I moved unconsciously, exposing more of my neck as I arched into him, and then his hips moved in a slow, sensuous thrust that left me spinning. If this was what he was capable of half-asleep, I couldn’t imagine what he could do if he was fully awake.
I’d probably be a ch
anged woman.
And then his hand slipped further down, brushing the center of me and the knot of nerves there. Sharp, exquisite sensations pulsed, robbing me of the ability to form coherent thoughts or recognize what was really happening. My body went on autopilot, kicking my brain out of the equation. I leaned back, legs parting as his fingers grazed my most sensitive area. It seemed so easy for him, to know what to do. A finger split the wetness between my legs, moving slow and deep. In. Out. Oh God. Every part of me throbbed. My eyes were wide, but I wasn’t seeing anything. I tried to keep quiet, but a throaty moan escaped.
The wonderful hand stilled and the chest against my back rose sharply. “Syd?”
“Yeah?” I didn’t move.
Kyler jerked back, and the bed dipped as he shot to his feet.
Holy crap, I’d never seen anyone move so fast. I rolled onto my side and started to rise up, but the look on his face stopped me.
“Shit. I’m so sorry.” His voice was gruff—deep and thick. “I was asleep. I thought I was dreaming—shit.”
Disappointment swelled so quickly it squelched the desire. He had been asleep—completely asleep. Not half-asleep, like that was any better, but at least then he would’ve been half-aware of what he’d been doing.
What had I been thinking? That he’d woken up in the middle of the night and decided he could no longer resist me and all my hotness? He’d probably been dreaming of Sexy Sasha from the main lodge.
“Say something, Sydney, please.”
At the anxiety in his voice, I realized how stupid I’d been—how stupid I was continuing to be. I squeezed my eyes shut. “It’s okay. No big deal. It’s all right.”
There was no answer, and after several moments, I opened my eyes, scanning the room for Kyler. It was empty. I was alone with just the violent wind.
Kyler
Holy shit-storm, there were no words for what I’d just done.