Whoa! I must have really needed that sleep.
After a quick shower to tame her wild tresses, Katie dressed and set about organizing herself. Her first order of business was a jaunt to the vending machine at the end of her hall where she emptied her quarters into the slot and stocked up on study snacks.
When I move to Crown Hall, I’m buying a little refrigerator so I can keep snacks in my room. And milk!
The thought of dining on a bowl of Cocoa Puffs with cold milk while jumping back under the covers on any given morning made Katie smile.
She realized she hadn’t told Rick about her decision to take the RA position. Her hair had distracted her. She would tell him tonight.
However, when Rick called that night, he was the one who had a surprise for her. “Do you feel like going for a walk?”
“Sure.”
“I’m about three minutes from your dorm, and I have Max with me.”
“You do? You have Max in your car?” Katie knew Rick’s family’s Great Dane was too old and too big to be comfortable for long in the backseat of Rick’s Mustang. She never had seen Rick let Max ride in the meticulously cared for car.
“Max is staying with me for awhile since he’s not exactly a selling feature for my parents’ house.”
“I knew you were looking for a roommate, but the question is, can Max cover his part of the rent?”
“I wish. So are you ready to come out of your study cave? I thought we could take Max for a walk. Oh, and I brought pizza.”
“Well, in that case, I’ll be right there.”
Katie slipped her feet into a pair of flip-flops and zipped out to the parking lot. Rick was just pulling in. He wasn’t driving his Mustang. He had a rented truck, and Max was in the passenger’s seat, hanging his head out the open window. Katie was greeted by a slobbery kiss that covered half her cheek and half her neck.
“Max, you are such a flirt.” She wiped her cheek and neck with her sleeve and pulled on Max’s ear, which was her signature hello to the old dog. “Do you want to go for a walk?”
Max knew the word “walk” and woofed loudly at Katie’s offer.
“He’s sure glad to see you,” Rick said. “All the way here he was moaning like a baby.”
“That’s because he is a big baby, aren’t you, Max? You are just a big baby, and you know it.”
Rick latched the leash on Max’s collar, and the stiff old dog clambered out of the truck. They took off at a brisk pace, with Max leading the way by curiosity and necessity. A few moments later his pace slowed, and Rick said, “I have to say I’m disappointed.”
“Why?”
Rick gestured toward Katie’s hair. “You don’t look like your picture.”
Katie laughed. “Learn to live with disappointment. Speaking of which, you lured me out here with pizza, and I’m not seeing any pizza.”
“I left it in the back of the truck. I didn’t want to share with Max.”
When he heard his name, Max sat down.
“Come on, Max, that wasn’t much of a walk.”
“He looks pretty tired out,” Katie said.
“It was a crazy day at the house. I have some water for him in the truck. We can go back.”
“Come on, Max.” Katie patted her leg. “Get up. Let’s get some water.”
Max panted as he meandered back to the truck, then gladly lapped up the water Rick poured for him in a plastic bowl. Katie smiled at the way Rick thought of everything, including his dog’s necessities. He also had brought everything they needed for a tailgate pizza picnic, including Katie’s latest favorite beverage, cream soda.
“You remembered,” she said.
Rick seemed pleased that she noticed.
“What’s on the pizza?” she asked as he reached for the large, flat, white box.
“Everything. No bell peppers, though.”
“Good. I hate bell peppers.”
“I know. I remembered that too.”
“I especially don’t like those waxy, shiny yellow ones. Name one other food that’s sunshine yellow. It’s unnatural, I tell you!”
Rick opened the box and showed Katie evidence that no “unnatural” colored foods had been included on their pizza.
They were only two bites in when a car pulled up beside them. Carley leaned out her open window and called, “Hi, you two!”
Max gave a rumbling, “Woof.”
“Are you moving out early, Katie?” Carley turned off her car’s engine and got out.
“No, this is Rick’s stuff. I’m here all summer.”
“You are?”
“Yeah, I decided last week to stay for summer school.”
“I’m supposed to go home to Texas. I don’t want to go.” Carley’s eyes were on the pizza, which Katie decided was better than Carley’s eyes being fixed on Rick.
“Would you like some?” Rick offered. “We have plenty.”
“Sure.” Carley reached for a slice and jumped up on the tailgate next to Katie.
Before Katie could slide another bite into her mouth, two more students came around the side of the truck and greeted Katie and Carley as if they were long-lost friends. Everyone seemed to be out on a study break at the same time, and the pizza was like a homing device. Rick had brought plenty and his PR skills made him eager to share. Between bites, the small gathering talked about finals and the last week of school.
All of them expressed the same sort of stress Katie was feeling. She wasn’t as alone as she had thought the night before.
Once the pizza was gone, the party dispersed. Rick closed up the back of the truck and helped Max into the cab. Then Rick turned, and Katie held out her arms, offering a good-bye hug.
“I’m pretty sweaty and dirty from cleaning out the garage,” he said, opening his arms to her.
“Hey, I’ve already been slobbered on by your dog. You can’t be half as disgusting as Max. No offense, Max, baby.” Katie wrapped her arms around Rick’s middle and leaned her cheek against his chest.
She could hear Rick draw in a deep breath, and she felt the air slowly release through his nostrils and into her hair. A hopeful corner of her heart wondered if Rick had reconsidered his decision from the night before. Perhaps he’d decided to move out of the slow lane. What if he realized they had a good thing going for them and was ready to make a lane change?
Looking up, Katie pulled back and tilted her chin in his direction. If Rick wanted to change lanes, all he had to do was seal this moment with a kiss. No words would be needed. Rick and Katie had been saving that telling kiss for when they were ready to establish themselves officially as a couple. Katie still wasn’t sure she was ready, but she was open to the possibility. Her lips were available.
Rick smiled at her, keeping his lips to himself. “Not yet,” he whispered.
“I know,” she whispered back.
Pulling slowly out of their hug, Katie said, “I’m glad you came by.”
“Me too.”
“Thanks for the pizza.”
“Any time. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Rick leapt into the truck and started the loud engine.
Katie waved as he drove off. Then she crossed her arms in front of herself, trying to hold in the warmth of Rick that had been there a moment ago. As much as she agreed with their wait-on-the-kiss decision, Katie hated this feeling of non-conclusion every time Rick drove away, leaving her lips untouched.
They were doing the right thing. She knew that. She also knew her stress level was affecting her thoughts. Her emotions were all over the place. Finals week was not the week to make major decisions.
But at moments like this, all the self-control was killing her, because Katie already knew what it felt like to kiss Rick Doyle and to kiss him more than once.
6
Instead of going back inside her dorm after Rick left in the rental truck, Katie decided to walk over to Crown Hall and “do a Nehemiah.” A year ago one of Katie’s Bible professors had used that expression, and she had liked the concept but
hadn’t done it. The premise was to walk around a new situation and evaluate it before jumping in. The Old Testament prophet Nehemiah took a late-night walk around the broken-down walls of Jerusalem before he began the huge task of rebuilding them.
Katie realized she might be using the Nehemiah spy trip as a reason to avoid studying. If she was, she wasn’t alone in her procrastination. Even though it was after ten o’clock, every student on campus seemed wide awake and looking for anything to do rather than study for finals.
When Katie passed the fountain at the center of campus, two girls sat on the edge, playing guitars. A guy walked past and greeted the musicians. He was carrying two cardboard trays loaded with large espresso beverages. Eight of his study buddies would be cheering him in a few minutes.
Katie gazed up at the dark sky overhead. A few faint stars peeked back at her from behind their bedtime cloud covers. They didn’t have finals in the morning, so they could go to sleep if they wanted.
Katie wasn’t ready to sleep. She realized how much she loved this school, this campus, this community of people. Even with Christy gone, Katie still wanted to be here another year. No, she wanted to be here another ten years. The rest of her life! This campus felt more like home than her parents’ house in Escondido ever had been.
Approaching the open glass doors of Crown Hall, Katie saw Julia standing inside to the right. She was talking to Craig, the resident director for the guys who lived in Crown Hall. Julia looked up at Katie and waved.
Katie stepped closer. Julia introduced her to Craig, and Katie said, “Well, I’m in.”
Craig nodded as if it was obvious that, yes, she was inside the lobby.
Julia, however, read Katie’s meaning and broke into a wide smile. “Really?”
Katie nodded. She loved that Julia understood her quirky communiqué.
“Fantastic, Katie. That’s great.”
“I’ve decided to take the RA position,” Katie said for Craig’s benefit.
He looked impressed with her decisiveness. “I’m glad to hear that. We were just talking about meeting at three o’clock tomorrow. Would that time work for you?”
“Sure.”
Katie realized again that she hadn’t told Rick about her decision to take the position. With Max and all the impromptu picnic pals, Katie had forgotten to bring up the subject. She didn’t feel she needed his clearance or blessing or whatever, but it would have been nice if she had talked to him before committing to take the job. But there it was: she just had declared that she was “in.”
Feeling compelled to offer an escape clause, Katie said, “I guess I should say that even though I know this is what I want to do, if God closes the door, then, well . . . I’ll understand.”
Julia narrowed her gaze. “And what is it that you will understand, exactly?”
“I’ll understand that this isn’t God’s will for me.”
“The ol’ hinge theology.” Craig grinned. “Listen, I hate to go, but I need to run upstairs. I’ll see both of you tomorrow.”
As soon as Craig ducked out of their conversation, Katie turned to Julia. “What did he mean by ‘hinge theology’?”
“Every college student we’ve ever counseled has at one time or another said the same thing, about God’s opening and closing doors. Craig’s theory is that for most young adults, God’s will seems to hinge on which way the door of opportunity swings.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” Katie asked.
“God isn’t limited to expressing himself through open or shut doors.”
“I know. He uses open and shut windows too. I saw The Sound of Music.”
Julia laughed.
“ ‘When God closes a door, he opens a window.’ ” Katie quoted and then gave her mouth a twist. “Or is it when he opens a door, he closes a window?”
“I think it’s closed door and open window.”
“Okay, but if you’re saying hinge theology isn’t cool, then what would be a better theology?” Katie asked. “I mean, if it’s presumptuous to limit God to opening and closing doors, then what would be a better way to figure out what he wants when you have to make a big decision?”
Julia smiled. “I like you, Katie.”
“That’s nice,” Katie said with her usual playful, flippant attitude. “I like you too. But you didn’t answer my question.”
Julia laughed again. “You’re right, I didn’t. Do you really want to hear my opinion?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
Without adding any further information, Julia turned and walked away. She wove a path through the other students gathered in the lobby and sat down on one of the couches across the room. Then she moved her lips, but Katie couldn’t hear her.
Katie stood by the door with a “huh?” look on her face. Obviously, if she wanted to hear Julia’s answer, she better follow her path across the lobby.
Katie plopped on the couch with an expectant expression. “So?”
“So, that’s it,” Julia said.
“That’s what?”
“That’s my visual demonstration of what I think it’s like to figure out God’s will.”
Katie wasn’t tracking. “All you did was walk over here and sit down.”
“Right. I did. Then I said, ‘So, that’s it,’ but you didn’t hear me the first time I said it. And you wanted an answer from me, right? You wanted to hear what I had to say. So you followed me.” Julia raised an eyebrow as if she had just unveiled an ancient secret.
Katie nodded slowly. Very slowly.
“Craig calls it my ‘hot on his heels’ theology,” Julia said. “That’s what I think it’s like with God. If you want to know what he has to say, you just follow him. You stay close. You ask and keep asking, and you listen. He’ll make it clear. The closer you are to him, the easier it is to hear what he’s saying.”
Katie let the thoughts sink in.
Julia leaned back, looking comfy. The settled-in image didn’t come from the way she was sitting, what she was wearing, or any other external influence. Julia simply seemed comfortable in her own skin and in what was happening in the moment. Her focus was on Katie, not on herself or what was going on around her. Katie didn’t know if she had ever been around anyone so tranquil before. It was nice.
“Have you ever thought about the way Christ led the disciples around during the three or so years they were together?” Julia asked. “When you read the Gospels, it seems they are all over the place. One day Jesus would be out on a boat with them; the next day they would be hiking through the hills. The journey looks random. If you tried to map their path, it would look like a bunch of wiggly lines intersecting and going nowhere. But Jesus obviously had a plan. He said he accomplished everything the Father sent him to do. All the disciples had to do was follow hot on his heels and trust him.”
Katie had never thought of following Christ that way.
Julia smiled as if she could read Katie’s thoughts. “That’s my theology. You stay close to Christ. Remind yourself that being one of his disciples will feel like an unscripted adventure most of the time. The journey is definitely not a one-size-fits-all. But he has a plan. He is fulfilling his objectives in your life.”
“I agree with that,” Katie said. “My verse for this past year was, ‘The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me.’ And I know he has. He is. It’s just that right now certain things in my life aren’t moving forward and that might affect my RA decision.”
“What kinds of things?” Julia asked.
“I need a major. Majorly. It’s a major dilemma.”
“Ah,” Julia said with a knowing dip of her chin.
“I’m finishing my junior year this week, and I’m majorly major-less. I’m taking summer school to catch up on basic units, but I can’t register for classes in the fall until I declare a major. That’s why I said God might close the RA door for me. Do you see? No major, no registration, no classes, no fall semester, no RA job.”
Julia nodded.
“When I met with my advisor, he handed me a list of majors in the science department and asked me to select one on the spot. None of them felt right. So I told him I couldn’t choose any of them.”
“What did your advisor say?”
“He said, ‘If you can’t make a decision, then I can’t help you.’ ”
“Sounds like an honest answer,” Julia said.
“Honest or not, it didn’t help me a bit.” Katie chewed at the cuticle beside her thumbnail. Pulling her hand away, she asked, “So, what’s your advice on my major dilemma?”
“What’s your passion, Katie?” Julia asked.
No immediate answer popped into Katie’s thoughts.
“Think about it,” Julia said. “I’ll ask you again tomorrow. Think about what energizes you and makes you happy. If you answer those questions, your major probably will be right in front of you.”
Katie thought Julia’s response was a little too organic. Too airy and lacking the promise of fulfillment. But she said she would give it some thought.
“I have to check on a couple of women,” Julia said. “See you tomorrow? Three o’clock at the office on the third floor?”
Katie nodded, and Julia left her on the lobby couch with her thoughts.
Katie’s pondering lasted about two minutes. She didn’t want to be alone right then. So she headed down the familiar hall that led to Sierra and Vicki’s room, the hall where Katie would be an RA — if she found a major, that is. She debated whether she wanted to stop by to visit her friends or just keep going and finish out her Nehemiah spy walk. The spy walk option won, and Katie continued down the long hall.
Several doors were open along the way, spilling out a variety of fragrances, music, and voices. At the end of the hall was the room Katie would live in. Dual RAs usually were positioned in the rooms located at each end of the hall.
Katie looked at the decorations on the wall across from the front door of her room-to-be. A variety of students’ artistic expressions covered the walls of most of the long halls in the dormitories. However, by this time of year most of the decorations and posters were bedraggled, with only a few more days of their beautification duty left before being tossed out. The walls usually were painted or repaired during the summer months to be ready for the next round of decorations with the incoming infusion of residents.