But the way she moved, the arching of her hips and how she felt, wet and warm against my length, drove me forward, beyond the point of return. She curled her fingers through my hair as she gripped my arm with the other.
“I love you,” she whispered in my ear as I settled between her thighs. “I love you, Seth.”
Those words gutted me, cut me right open. I didn’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve this, but I had to get in her, feel her, one last time, and the memory of this joining was going to have to carry me until the gods laid down their punishment. Reaching down between us, I wrapped my hand around my dick. I groaned as I felt her readiness against the tip. There wasn’t a damn thing between us.
I didn’t stop.
Josie didn’t stop me.
It was foolish. Risky. Fucking idiotic. But as I slid into her, felt every inch with nothing between us, the sensation blew me apart, shot straight to the very core of my being.
Nothing. Nothing had ever felt like this before.
Stopping, I lifted my head and stared down at Josie. Her long neck was exposed, her lips red and swollen, eyes half-open. Her chest rose fast and deep. She smoothed a trembling hand down my chest.
Her touch. I couldn’t . . .
I caught her hand, pulling it away from me and pinning it above her head. Her eyes widened as I captured her other hand and drew it above her head, joining it with the other. I kept them there with one hand around her wrists and then gripped her rounded hip.
“Seth,” she breathed.
I slammed in to the hilt. Her head kicked back as she made this soft, keening sound that almost made me lose it right there.
Things were frantic.
My body moved against hers, in her, and her arms strained. She wanted to touch me. Gods, Josie loved to touch me, but I held her in place as I thrust into her. I felt her the second before she came. Her hips jerked up, her back arched, and those blue eyes were wide.
Josie’s cry was muffled as she bit down on her lip. She broke apart around me, her muscles clenching down, squeezing me, and I exhaled harshly, riding her until she fell back against the couch.
I wasn’t done with her.
Pulling out of her, I let go of her wrists and, using my grip on her waist, I flipped her onto her stomach. I moved over her, pressing my chest to her back as I slid my arm under her waist, lifting her hips. I entered her in one stroke, nearly undone by the tightness I felt.
There was no rhythm to how I moved then. My hips pounded into hers, and I kept going, almost as if I was trying to get myself in there so deep there would be no way of extracting me from her, so fucking deep that there was no her, no me, just us. She was so tight, so wet, and so perfect.
Sweat dampened and slicked our skin. The fleshy sounds our bodies made drove me to the brink. Shifting my hand under her, I found the tight bundle of nerves, worked her until she clamped down on me.
Release powered down my spine, raw and all-consuming, blowing my head right off me. Intense. Couldn’t breathe around it. Couldn’t feel anything else. Only at the very last second, I pulled out and folded my arms around Josie, sealing her body to mine as I came, cradled against her, my face buried in her neck. The world fell away for those precious moments, dropped off and stayed there as our hearts slowed and our bodies relaxed into each other.
“Seth,” she murmured, turning her head to the side. A couple of moments passed. “Are you . . . are you okay now?”
I closed my eyes. Everything would be. I spoke, my voice rough. Empty. “Yes.”
Josie tensed under me and then she looked over her shoulder. Concern pooled into her gaze. “Seth, we need to talk. They’re saying that you’re a—”
“Shh,” I murmured, shifted us onto our sides, until her back was to my front and my arm around her waist. “I just want to hold you right now. Please? We’ll . . . we’ll talk later.”
She was stiff against me for a moment. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
I lied. Add that to the list of fucked-up things I’d done, but she curled into me, pressing her cheek against my chest with both of her hands gripping my arm. Like she was trying to hold me there. Like she already knew on some unconscious level what was happening.
I held her until she fell back asleep.
I held her until I was no longer sure I could walk away.
I held her until it physically fucking hurt to ease her out of my embrace.
Leaning over her, my gaze roamed over her face. My hand shook as I carefully brushed the long, damp strands back from her cheek. I committed every square inch to memory. The natural arch to her brows. The height of her cheeks and the full, pouty bow-shaped lips.
I brushed my lips against her cheek and then again, lower, on her neck, over the faded tag the daimon had given her outside of St. Louis. Then I spoke the three truest words I’d ever spoken and the three words I didn’t deserve to utter, to give air, but I said them.
“I love you.”
Chapter 32
Josie
When I opened my eyes, Seth was gone and I was alone in the morning light, lying on my side. I stared at the closed door, wondering if I’d dreamt him. Quite possibly. I’d had some vivid dreams when it came to him, and there was a surreal quality about everything as all my senses came back online.
I looked down at myself.
Considering I was naked under the quilt, I was pretty sure I hadn’t dreamt him. And if that hadn’t done it, the dampness between my thighs was also a very good indication.
But Seth was gone.
Holding the quilt to my breasts, I sat up, wincing slightly as I moved my legs onto the floor. What we’d done—he’d done—on this couch . . . ? Wow. I felt a little shaky.
My clothes were stacked on the floor, as if Seth had folded them for me. Strange. My stomach dipped and twisted as I lifted my gaze again to the library door.
I love you.
His voice echoed in my thoughts. My heart stuttered over itself. He’d never said that before, but I swore I’d heard him. It was too real, his voice too heavy for it to be a part of my imagination, but where was he?
And had he let himself out of the room last night, or had someone else done it? If so, why hadn’t they come to get me? Closing my eyes, I swallowed hard, because I knew Seth hadn’t been let out on his own. Not after what Herc and everyone were saying. They were planning to summon Hephaestus, and they believed him to be the God Killer.
Seth had gotten himself out.
I just want to hold you.
With a sinking feeling, I grabbed my clothes off the floor and quickly changed back into them since there was no way I was walking through this house with just a thin quilt wrapped around me. I doubted anyone but Seth wanted to see that.
We’ll talk later.
Promise?
Promise.
The numb, cold feeling expanded. Things had not been settled between us at all before the Titan appeared. We really needed to talk before, and now it was imperative.
Once in my clothes, I walked over to the door and found that it had been locked. The sinking feeling hit me again. I unlocked the door and stepped out into the brighter hallway. I could hear footsteps upstairs and as I took a step forward, the door at the end of the hall opened.
Alex stepped out, a Covenant dagger in her white-knuckled grip.
The strained set to Alex’s face as she stepped into the hall and saw me was like stepping out into icy, winter rain. I knew it. In my bones, I knew it.
“Do you know where he is?” she asked, striding toward me. Every muscle in my body locked up. When I didn’t respond, she stopped in front of me. “Aiden just found Luke out of commission in the room we had Seth in, and I found Gable in the same condition in the living room. We can’t find Seth.”
“Oh God,” I whispered, leaning against the wall. I gave a little shake of my head, and it hit me fully then, what I already knew. The intensity behind the way he came to me. The heaviness in his voice. The reason he didn’
t want to talk then. The softly whispered “I love you.” Oh God, what had he done? I lifted my head, meeting her gaze. “He didn’t hurt them.”
She nodded curtly. “Looks like he got hold of Solos’s blade, the one with the Pegasus blood on it. They weren’t hurt, but we need to find him. Do you know where he went?”
What I’d said hadn’t been a question, but Alex was wary—she had been wary of Seth the moment she set foot on Covenant University soil. So had Aiden, and Seth had seen that. None of that helped him, not when he got lost in his own head.
Pushing off the wall, I stepped around Alex. “He’s gone.”
“Yes.” She turned to me. “He’s—”
“He’s left.” I drew in a breath, but it got stuck and it expanded in my throat. It hurt as emotion crawled up. I took a step forward and stumbled as pressure sliced across my chest. “Oh God.”
Seth had really done it.
“Josie?” Alex put a hand on my arm. “Are you okay?”
Stepping away from her, I wheeled around and headed for the front door. Alex was hot on my heels as I reached the door and threw it open. I burst out onto the stone porch, coming to an abrupt halt as I scanned the circular driveway.
One of the vehicles was gone.
My hands fell open at my sides as I slowly shook my head. He’d really left, and with a vehicle he had hours on us, and I doubted he was planning to stay in Southern California.
“Dammit,” I heard someone say. Deacon? I had no idea when he’d gotten there. “He’s taken the damn SUV.”
Something cracked in my chest.
Pivoting around, I walked back into the house and I kept walking, even when Alex called out my name. I needed space. I needed a couple of minutes where I could think. I needed to be alone.
I passed Aiden in the stairwell. He said something, but I didn’t really understand him. Climbing the steps, I headed into the bedroom Seth and I were supposed to share. On autopilot, I stripped off the clothes and left them where they fell by the bed. In the bathroom, I cranked on the hot water, waited as steam filled the room. Sliding open the stall door, I stepped under the pelting hot water, arms limp at my sides.
And I stood there for what felt like forever, my head bowed and eyes closed. I stood there until that wave of emotion that had been crawling up my throat finally broke free, burning my eyes. The tears came again and they didn’t stop. Not for a very long time.
Everything was a mess and Seth had finally told me he loved me.
Then he had left me.
The mood in the living room was tense, even after Luke had explained that Seth hadn’t injured him, had even seemed regretful of his actions. The same with Gable, who was currently holed up in his room. It didn’t change the outcome though.
I sat on the couch, beside Alex, as everyone debated what to do next. Alex and Aiden wanted to continue to Canada to retrieve Demeter’s daughter and let Herc deal with the runaway Seth issue when he returned. Deacon and Luke were mostly quiet, and no one really asked for my input.
Probably a good thing, because I’d spent the better part of the day absolutely numb and riddled with guilt. I shouldn’t have let them put Seth in that room, or at least, not by himself. My instincts had urged me to stay with him, but I’d caved to the advice of others without saying anything. That was weak, and I’d failed him.
I was a pretty big fail when I punched him after he admitted what he done. Granted, he’d deserved that, but when he apologized and when he’d asked me if this was it, I’d said nothing. The only thing I could do at this point was to move forward. Not without him. No. Never without him.
Where could he have gone, and where could he be going? I racked my brain the entire morning and afternoon, latching onto the mystery so I didn’t slip into a soul-crushing downward spiral. And I was so close to doing that, wanting nothing more than to throw myself face-first onto the bed and sob until there was nothing left in my body.
“So, you guys are totally okay with letting Herc handle things with Seth?” Deacon asked, leaning against the fireplace I doubted was ever used. “We’re just going to forget about him?”
Aiden looked over at him. “We’re not forgetting him, but we have to find the rest of the demigods before the Titans do. Atlas might be gone, but the rest aren’t.”
“I think we need to find Seth,” his brother challenged. “We need him when they do come back, especially since he’s all kinds of special sauce right now. I don’t want to see what happened to . . . to Solos happen to anyone else.”
“I don’t want that either.” Twisting the heavy length of hair in her hands, Alex shook her head. “We need the other demigods to defeat the Titans.”
Luke cocked his head to the side. “Agreed, but we need Seth too. We need as much firepower on our side as we can muster, and he has the ultimate power, by the looks of it.”
“But . . .” Alex looked over at me, trailing off. Her shoulders tensed and she appeared to choose her words carefully. “I don’t think Seth is going to be of a lot of help right now.”
Deacon’s lips pursed. “You know, I’m just going to address the two-hundred-pound Apollyon God Killer elephant in the room.”
His brother arched a brow.
“What you all are not saying is that you think Seth’s gone all dark side again, right? That he’s hopped up on aether and is going to go on a killing binge again, but like a legit, ‘kill everything in his path’ spree this time. That’s what you’re not saying,” he said, eyes narrowing. “But the thing is, Seth immobilized Luke and Gable, but he didn’t hurt them, and you all know damn well, if he’d wanted to hurt them, he would’ve.”
Deacon paused, looking at me. I’d told them earlier that Seth had seen me before he’d left. Of course, I didn’t go into details about what we had done, because seriously, that would be a little TMI, but I’d told them that he’d seemed normal. Which was true. Needless to say, Alex and Aiden both had looked at me like they doubted my sanity since I hadn’t alerted anyone to the fact Seth was roaming around.
“And he didn’t hurt Josie,” Deacon continued. “He didn’t feed off her. He basically stayed with her until she slept, said goodbye to her, and then left. Does that sound like an out of control, aether-sucking killer Apollyon?”
“Try saying that fast,” murmured Luke.
“He lost his shit because of what happened to Solos. Can we really blame him for that? None of us were hurt. We need to find him,” Deacon stated, his chin lifting. “Before he does turn into that and starts blowing up islands or something.”
I stiffened. What had Deacon just said? Blowing up islands? Holy crappers, the islands. I blinked. Would Seth really go home? He hadn’t been there since he’d been sent to the Covenant in the UK as a teen, but he’d talked of wanting to go back there. He’d mentioned it once, but to even speak of a place that had been so cold to him, it had to be important. It was a wild guess, completely out there, but it was a very real possibility. His family home was surrounded by nothing by trees and sand. He would be alone there, away from everyone. But would he go that far, halfway around the world? Would he go to that kind of extreme?
Deep down, I just knew he would. Call it intuition, but I just knew I was right.
“I think I know where he’s gone.” I stood up, thrusting my hands through my hair and then dropping them to my sides. All eyes were on me. “I can find him.” Determination filled me. “I’m going to find him.”
“Where?” Luke asked, attentive.
Glancing around the room, I exhaled slowly. “I think he’s gone to the Cyclades Islands.”
“What?” Alex frowned.
“That’s where he was born, and his home is still there. I can’t tell you how I know that. I don’t even know, but I just do. He’s gone there.”
Aiden looked away, his silver eyes flashing as he crossed his arms over his chest. Without saying a thing, I knew he so wasn’t on board with this plan. Not my problem.
Deacon glanced at Luke, who nodde
d. “We’re in.”
His older brother’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think that’s wise. You saw him. You saw how unstable he is.”
“I’ve also seen how he’s been the whole entire time he’s been here,” Deacon argued. “So I think my decision is completely wise.”
Alex unfurled her leg, and her shoulders rose with a deep breath. “I’m going to have to agree with Aiden on this.”