"Why do you fire him every day?" Jane's lips twitched over the edge of the wine glass.
"Probably because he is loyal to a fault and stands up to me." He sighed and helped himself to the sesame chicken on her plate. "He quit tonight, though, says he is never working for me again. This also happens every so often."
"How bad is the fallout going to be from the Simone thing?" Sela asked, her smile fading.
"Bad." He shrugged and ate the Chinese food without looking at any of them. "I am going to go along with her plan for awhile to keep the peace."
"I thought you were going to tell her to go to hell."
"Ava..." he met her gaze, "We had a falling out. I did this for my family."
"Am I supposed to pretend not to know you then? Will you be with her when she returns?"
"It is temporary. Trust me, Jess."
She gulped down her wine, absentmindedly looking at the time on her cell phone. Almost eleven. Work would be interesting tomorrow after what Charlie had seen. She squeezed Jacques' thigh beneath the table, thankful that he had come home.
"We are all coming to your exhibit on Saturday," Sela said with a supportive grin in his direction. "We need to see our Jessica's debut as a nude model."
He laughed before looking up from his plate. "You should see the photos I did not publish."
"Those should be destroyed." She looked at her friends and felt a twinge of guilt for not trusting them enough to confide in them about her mother. "Thank you, you're both the best, you know that right?"
"We do." Jane said as she reached for the wine bottle.
"I can see why you would think she and Kevin would get along." Jacques winked at her. "As for the exhibit, I appreciate you wanting to come, but it may be uncomfortable. A lot of—"
"We'll be there," Sela said with absolute certainty. "Jessie has a right to be there, don't you think? Simone or no Simone."
"Yes, she should be there." Jane nodded at him. "Will Kevin be there?"
He laughed again and nodded slowly without looking away from Jane. "I cannot believe you want to be set up with him, but, yes, he will be there. He is always with me. I cannot get rid of him."
The buzzer sounded and all four of them swiveled to look at the door. Sela stood first to answer it.
"It's Kevin," came the response.
Everyone in the room started laughing. Jane blushed and smoothed her hands over her hair.
Jacques leaned close to Jessica's ear and whispered, "Are you upset with me?"
She swiveled on the floor so that she faced him and kissed him in response. Slowly. Her lips soft against his, savoring the taste of wine on his lips and the feel of his hard body stretched against hers on the floor.
"I have decided not to quit," Kevin announced as he stood, hands on hips in the doorway and looked beyond Sela to where Jacques sat on the floor. "Are you going to apologize?"
"It is Ava who needs to apologize," Jacques replied, looking defeated and overly tired when he met her gaze.
He walked immediately to the food and started looking through the cartons before settling onto the floor next to Jane who grinned at him like a woman with a secret. "What happened to the big dinner at the restaurant? Did it catch on fire? Sorry. Bad joke." He glanced at Jane. "I'm Kevin, the assistant."
"I'm Jane, the long time college friend." She clicked her wine glass against his. "No fire, but there was some drama."
"Is it a full moon or something?" Kevin asked.
"We should be going." Sela looked longingly at the half-full wine bottle before standing. "We all need to work in the morning."
She winced at the idea of going to work and seeing Charlie. Reputation mattered at the firm whose clients were some of the wealthiest in New England. Public displays like the one tonight were frowned upon. She rubbed the back of her neck, the reality of the situation dampening her optimism.
"You nine to fivers mystify me." Kevin saluted Jessica with a glass of wine, his eyes full of gratitude rather than humor. "To Jessica," he said, "I can see why Jacques fell in love with you...twice."
She nodded, suddenly overcome with emotion. She hated that Simone had won this battle. She left it to Sela and Jane to entertain Kevin and walked to the bedroom. Her friends were comfortable enough in her house that she didn't mind leaving them alone. She needed a moment to breathe.
Behind closed doors, she collapsed onto the bed and pressed her hands over her eyes. Marc's betrayal ripped her to shreds, more than she could admit to anyone out there. Her heart vibrated with rage. Breathing heavily, she allowed all of the moments of their relationship to trip through her mind. Funny how a change of perspective colored everything with new light.
* * *
Jacques cleaned the kitchen in silence, happy to have an activity to occupy his mind. Everyone had retreated to their own spaces, including the dinner guests who had caught a cab minutes ago. The weight of what Simone had done sank onto his shoulders. She had told the world about the one secret that he had wanted to bury forever. Showing his face in public seemed impossible after that. He hated how Ava looked at him like he had let her down in the worst possible way.
If he had any self-respect, he would leave Boston before the exhibit and save his family and friends from ever needing to stand by him and put themselves at risk. He had heard Jessica's admission about her career being at risk because of what had happened with her mother. What would her firm think of her being engaged to an accused—albeit acquitted—murderer?
Head bent, he gripped the side of the kitchen counter and exhaled a long breath. Compromising to be with Simone on the one night where Jessica deserved to be by his side felt like a hundred different kinds of wrong.
He tensed when he felt Jessica's hands move up his back. "I thought you were sleeping."
"I took a bath, finished off the wine, but I'm waiting for you," she said.
"I should have kept my exhibit in Manhattan, spared you from all of this. I could have—"
"Then I would have read about it or heard about it somewhere and I would have come to you. I would have found you." She wrapped her arms around him from behind and rested her head against his back.
"You would have?" He turned within the circle of her arms and tilted her chin up with his finger. "A week ago—"
"Stop doing that. I want to accept that we are what we are and let it be."
"How can I date and romance you if I am supposedly someone else's boyfriend?"
"I'm not worried about it." She unbuttoned his shirt without looking away from his eyes.
"How is you mother?"
"She's in the hospital, probably destined for another trip to rehab." She shrugged even though her eyes filled with tears. "It's been a helluva week, that's for sure."
He wiped a tear away with his thumb. "I'm sorry I wasn't there with you. I would have punched Marc in the face."
"I think we have had enough trouble for the time being. I don't want to bail you out of jail." She spread her fingers wide against his bare chest before skimming her fingertips down to his abdomen. "But I love that you would have done that for me."
She kissed the center of his chest before pulling at the zipper of his jeans.
"I would do anything for you." He pushed the robe from her shoulders and watched it fall in a pool of black silk at her feet.
Her tongue flicked over his abdomen as she knelt lower, her hands pushing his jeans over his thighs. He enjoyed watching her love him, especially now when he didn't feel too loveable.
Her hand closed over his erection before she kissed first one side of his shaft and then the other. She glanced up at him as she licked the tip. Hot breath caressed the sensitive skin while her tongue slid around the edges and her lips closed over him.
He moved his hands through her hair and whispered, "We have visitors upstairs."
She stood slowly, gliding her hands to move from his hips all the way to his shoulders, and kissed his neck.
He lifted her into his arms and held her
close for a minute, simply hugging her, skin on skin, and breathing in the scent of her hair. "Tu m'as manqué, mon amour."
"I missed you, my love," she repeated the English translation against his ear. "See? I told you I learned all the useful phrases."
Holding her close, he kicked his ankles free of the pants that bound him and carried her down the hall. "Now tell me in Italian."
"Are you testing me?" She smiled against his mouth. "I bought Rosetta Stone for French and Italian, what can I say? I've had a lot of time on my hands thinking of you all these years. But I still only know—"
"The useful phrases, yes." He laughed as he kissed her. "Tell me anything in Italian."
"Tu sei il mio cuore e non sarà mai lasciarti andare." You are my heart and I will never let you go.
He paused, surprised that she answered so effortlessly. Longing for what should have been washed over him. He kissed her as he eased her back onto the bed. His hands moved over her with tenderness as if discovering her body for the first time. She mirrored his gentleness as her fingers barely touched his face and her feet grazed the side of his legs.
Every kiss, each breath moved in time with one another. Slow. Lingering. Touches became promises. Whispers transformed into vows. Moonlight fell through the window, creating shadows on their bodies as they moved together, rolled across the sheets, laughed softly as they joined together in a steady rhythm that left no room for doubts.
He laced his fingers through hers as he thrust inside her and felt her body embrace his. Her legs wrapped around his hips, binding him to her. He had been wrong when he thought he had never known what 'home' meant. This feeling of belonging, of knowing, of security, of love...this was home. Jessica equaled home. Home equaled Jessica.
* * *
Chapter Seventeen
Her feet pounded on the pavement with a persistent thud. Sunrise peeked over the Charles River where rowers skimmed with absolute precision over the water. After this week, she had needed a hard run before beginning her day. Her mind snapped with possible scenarios for the day. She hoped Charlie wouldn't mention last night's fiasco. They had enough challenges facing them with demolition beginning today. The fire had aided them in many ways.
She faltered, breathing more labored than normal at the thought of losing Jacques to Simone. A day, a week, a month, a year, all were too long in her opinion. Thoughts rocked her brain, rattled her like one aftershock after another. Hands on her hips, she walked into the park and stared at the river leading to the sea with the glass and stone buildings of Boston rising around it. A group laid out yoga mats on the grass, their laughter and conversation drifting to her as they prepared.
I'm tired of compromising. She rubbed the sole of her shoe against the ground before stretching out her hamstring. Her gaze rested on the high-rise building that housed her office. She counted up the floors until finding hers.
Simone, Marc, Simone, Marc...to hell with them both. A hard run usually silenced the murmurings of regret. Not today. Today they persisted their quiet goading.
Focus. She gulped from her water bottle, gaze drifting again toward the sunrise. Think. With renewed intensity, she jogged toward home. She concentrated on the rhythm of her breath, the sweat on her bare arms, and the sunlight on her neck.
“Jessica!” Sam, her downstairs’ neighbor, called as he passed on his bike. “You’re slow today. I finally beat you home!”
“I’m older than you, remember.” She waved, the platinum ring on her hand caught the sunlight and reminded her that she needed to fight for what belonged to her.
She took the stairs of the brownstone two at a time, narrowly missing Sam’s discarded bike, and searched her pocket for the key to the security door. Black curls danced in front of her eyes as she struggled with the lock.
Unwanted thoughts of another apartment building in Florence, Italy, slammed into her mind. Bella Italia. Keys fell from trembling fingers.
“Problems with the lock?” Sam opened the door from inside.
“Thanks, I guess I’m a bit off my game today.”
She walked the remaining stairs to her apartment. She yanked the iPod from her arm and zombie-walked to the shower.
Water poured over her face. Steam fogged the room. She flattened her hand against the tile, held a deep breath and counted to ten. Then twenty.
"I love it when you come home all sweaty and wound up." Jacques stepped into the shower behind her and slid his hands over wet breasts.
She closed her eyes and sighed when his mouth created havoc on the back of her neck. "Don't leave, it's not the right thing to do. You know it as well as I do."
He turned her around and worshiped her body, hands seeking, exploring, claiming. His mouth slid between her legs, finger slipping inside while his other hand held her wrist.
Strength evaporated with a moan. Legs betrayed her. Head dropped against the tile. “Please, I am begging you.”
“I love it when you beg.” His laugh tickled her abdomen as he slid up her torso to reclaim her mouth.
“Stop torturing me.” Both hands curled into his hair and held him firm against her.
He lifted her leg and plunged deep inside her. For a moment, she forgot that five years had passed, forgot the pain she had caused, forgot that there had ever been anyone else for either of them, forgot everything that no longer mattered.
She linked her legs behind his hips and buried her fingernails into his shoulders. Tongues collided with the rhythm of his hips. Warm water flowed over their joined bodies.
With him she had known more intensity for life at large than either before or since. Time—or the lack of—didn't matter. Their souls recognized one another.
Eyes heavy with satisfaction, he grinned against her mouth. "I love you. Know what else I love?"
"What?" She curled her fingers into his wet hair.
"Being able to say that again. I love you." He kissed her chin. "I love you." He kissed her mouth.
"Stay with me." She held his face against hers and looked into his eyes as the water ran cold. "She made her big announcement last night. So what? Who cares? It's meaningless where we are concerned."
Pain flickered in the depths of his eyes before he disentangled himself from her and left her alone in the shower.
Annoyed at needing to go to work and about the entire situation, she followed, wrapped herself in a towel, and stomped into the bedroom. "What do you expect me to do? Slink around in the shadows like your mistress until we have permission from Simone to live our lives? How much more time do we need to waste? Damn it, Jacques, this isn't fair."
"No, it isn't." He faced her, naked, green eyes snapping with fire as he towel dried his hair. "But before we crawled back into bed together, you knew the risks. I'm going to be leaving for South America in three weeks. Will you say that isn't fair, too?"
"That's not the same." She tossed her towel at him before stalking into her closet and slamming hangers around. She took a minute to catch her breath and dress before walking back into the room.
He sat on the edge of the bed, towel wrapped around his waist, and looking as defeated as she felt. "Sometimes I think we are doomed to always be passing one another on our way to someplace else."
Well, that's not what she wanted to hear first thing in the morning. Gritting her teeth, she returned to the bathroom to get ready for the day. She didn't have time for a full-blown argument that could lead to her saying things she knew she would regret. Emotion simmered too close to the surface.
He'd gone when she had finished. She found her shoes, carried them in her arms, and walked to the kitchen. Empty. Sighing, she dropped them to the floor and started making coffee.
"What's happening? Yelling, door slamming...do you and Jacques start every morning with such a flair for the dramatic?" Kevin stood on the bottom step, dressed in gray pajama pants and a Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt. Hair a mess and glasses crooked on his face as if he'd put them on in a hurry, he looked freaked out. "Is it Simone? Is she here?"
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She smiled at the idea and shook her head no. "She was in Los Angeles last night, Kevin. Unless she is faster than time, she couldn't be here."
"You and Jacques need to be conscious of roommates," he said with a laugh.
She glanced down at the pile of clothes in the middle of the floor and grinned over her shoulder at him. "My house, my rules. Clothes come off whenever we feel like it."
"I like you." He smiled at her before turning his attention back to the iPad. "Social media is lit up over Simone's announcement, just like I suspected. People love her on Twitter. Landing that hosting gig really put her over the top. I don't know what she hopes to gain by breaking this Thailand story, maybe she hopes to be the next Oprah or add some depth to her career. I have no idea. It's all about publicity with her."
She exhaled slowly, deciding to take a chance. "Kevin..." She faced him, hands on her hips, and waited until he looked up before continuing, "could you do me a favor?"
"Only if it involves keeping our clothes on, I fear Jacques' wrath." He winked.
"There are some things in my garage that need to go missing," she whispered without looking away from him. "I don't suppose you could make that happen for me, could you?"
His grin turned into a full smile. He slid the tablet away and nodded. "As in make them disappear now before the world wakes up?"
"The world has already woken up." She poured coffee into a to-go cup before facing him again. "Can you try to make him stay? You like it here, I know."
Kevin nodded while she spoke. "He is protecting his family...and you...by going along with Simone. It's not personal."
"Not personal? Yes, it is. Does she happen to say on Twitter when she'll be back in Boston? I'd like to get reacquainted with my old friend."
"I don't think that would be a good idea." His expression changed from sleepy to alert in under thirty seconds. "Give me a list of what to look for and I'll go now. I'll go for a walk, check out the neighborhood." He shoved his iPad at her and brought up a notepad application. "Make the list and could you make sure I have your numbers, both office and cell? Thanks."