“And then you would forgive me?”
“Completely.”
“And give me willing service?”
“Unconditionally.”
He asked for no more clarification. Long minutes passed while outwardly he did no more than stare at her. But she knew instinctively that inwardly he was doing a lot more, that he was fighting with his desire to appease her and his total reluctance to do it in this way. She almost changed her mind, knowing it would be an alien experience for him to take orders from anyone, much less a woman. And to agree to obey those orders, not knowing what they would be—she wouldn’t have to change her mind. He’d never agree to that.
“You may have your ‘tit for tat,’ kerima. ”
Chapter Thirty-one
Tedra’s eyes flared, experiencing as much shock as Challen had earlier. Had she heard him right? He was actually going to give her complete power over him?
“You . . . agree?”
“Did you not wish me to?”
“Well . . . yes, but—”
She clamped her mouth shut before she stuck her foot in it. She would have wagered every exchange token she earned over the next ten years that he would have flatly refused, or, at the very least, tried to talk her into asking for something else instead. Had she missed something, some slyly inserted word in his questioning that would give him an out?
“Are you sure you understand the rules of this scenario, Challen? You’ll have to do whatever I tell you to, no matter what. You can’t refuse to do it, and you can’t use your strength against me, for instance, to keep me from giving you orders. Is that understood?”
“It is.”
“And you still agree?”
“Yes.”
He didn’t hesitate with his answers, but had a man ever sounded so miserable? And she’d have to be blind to mistake the look of utter defeat about him. This wasn’t surprising, since being dominated would go against the grain for someone domination came naturally to. But suddenly she knew it was more than that. In fact, it came to her quite clearly that he expected her to humiliate him, to shame him, most likely to punish him in the same way he had her. And expecting it, he’d given her the power to do it anyway.
Stars above, was he that guilty? Or was he just so desirous of having things the way they once were that he was willing to do anything to make it so? He’d begged her to forgive him. Did he really think he had to do this before she would? Well, it wouldn’t hurt him to think that for a while. It wouldn’t hurt him to expect the worse for a while either. She had no intention of exacting that kind of revenge, but she also had no intention of passing up this delightful opportunity to have the upper hand with him.
“Now that I’ve got you at my mercy, warrior, I think the first order of business should be a little protection insurance for myself. Give me your word right now that there won’t be any reprisals tomorrow or at any other time for what happens here tonight.”
That shook him out of his dejection, as if what she was insinuating was an insult to him. “Such had not occurred to me,” he said stiffly.
“Maybe not,” she allowed. “But just in case it does—your word?”
“You have it.”
She grinned at the way he gritted that out. “Poor baby,” she purred, knowing how he hated being called that. “If that was so hard for you, you’re going to have a hell of a time complying with the rest of my demands. But since you don’t have any choice, why don’t we go on to the next one? Lie down for me, baby, on your back.”
For a moment she thought he would balk, but he must have recalled he’d given up that option. She helped him to recall it by pushing on his chest and coming up as she did, switching their positions after all. Now she was looking down on him, and what she saw was a very stiff and wary barbarian, dreading her next outrageous order.
Not to disappoint him, she said, “Open your legs a little, sweetcakes.”
Again he looked like he was going to balk. His jaw clenched. His fists clenched, too. Long moments passed before he raised one leg and slammed it down a few inches away from the other. Tedra almost laughed. He hated this, he really hated it, and any other man would have fire blazing out of his eyes by now, but not her barbarian. He gave a few paltry signs of his feelings, as powerful as they must be, but his eyes remained inscrutable. She’d have to see what she could do about changing that.
“You’re not to touch me tonight, warrior, unless I tell you to. And so you won’t forget yourself and disobey me, you will place your hands behind your head and keep them there.”
This he did without hesitation, probably because he was already thinking about putting his hands on her—around her neck. But she was safe and knew it.
She took a moment to observe him as she had arranged him, in a position he usually assumed for himself, the difference being he wasn’t at all relaxed in it now. Being forced to lie just so wasn’t the same, making it her idea instead of his, thereby making it objectionable to him, so objectionable that he probably wasn’t even aware that it was a preferred position of his. But she wasn’t going to point that out to him. Giving him a little taste of the suspenseful, sexual teasing he liked putting her through wasn’t going to hurt him at all. And having his big, gorgeous body in her power, even for a little while, was heady stuff.
Stars, how she loved just looking at him, at his massively muscled chest and shoulders, twice the width of hers; at those mighty arms with more strength in them than she could possibly guess at, the biceps bunched and deeply ridged in their present position, the forearms thicker than her calves. Smaller ridges stepped down his abdomen like a steel casing, and she knew firsthand how little damage could be done to that area. Solid rock couldn’t be much harder. And those long, powerful legs were in perfect proportion to the rest of him.
His size never failed to thrill her, and now was no exception. Having command of him was a particular turn-on, putting them on the equal footing she could expect from a normal sex-sharing relationship on her world. She was ready for him again, despite having experienced no less than six explosive orgasms just a short while ago. This didn’t surprise her anymore. He had to no more than walk into the room she was in for it to happen, her body reacting with embarrassing swiftness to the mere sight of him. She didn’t like his having that kind of effect on her, but there didn’t seem to be anything she could do about it. It wouldn’t even be so bad if she had the same effect on him, but it had been drummed home to her in a maddening way that she didn’t.
Recalling that, and with the evidence before her, a dent was put into her smugness. Challen having earlier attained satisfaction three times himself, his flesh was soft and sated, not at all the way she wanted it just now. Also brought home to her was the annoying fact that he could keep it that way if he so chose.
The plain truth was she couldn ‘t punish him as he had her, even if she had meant to. To command him to readiness was ludicrous. It couldn’t be done and she knew it. Unlike a woman, a man had to feel desire to be accommodating, and under the circumstances, Challen wasn’t likely to be feeling anything of the sort. But the barbarian also had one up on that. Unlike normal men, he had complete control over his flesh. Farden hell. This wasn’t going to be a bit of fun if he exercised that control, and she had little doubt that he already was. And worse than that, she hadn’t even tried to stem her own arousal, expecting it to be seen to at her own convenience. For Stars’ sake, had she gone and maneuvered herself into self-punishment?
“Relax, warrior.”
The sudden anger in her tone startled him, but only for a moment. “This I am powerless to do.”
“All right, I’ll buy that. Let’s try this one, then. You are not to use your superhuman control tonight, not even a little. I want honest reactions from you, and I want every reaction, not just those you’re willing to show me.”
He started to growl in answer, and she blinked in surprise herself. Was it that easy to get around his control? She immediately put it to the test, leaning down and biting hi
s nearest nipple, and not too gently either. His growl turned to a groan, proving how quickly his flesh could come to life when he was powerless to control it. She’d made him powerless by ordering him to react, and he’d agreed to obey any order she gave, no matter what it was. His eyes were no longer inscrutable either. He wasn’t pleased that she’d snatched away his only defense. She was, immeasurably so. She’d got upset over nothing.
She laughed low, and bent to make amends to his nipple, swirling her tongue around it. She kept her eyes on him as she did, but he closed his, as if that would stop what she was making him feel. She grinned and changed her position, crawling up him until both arms were resting just below his neck and she could look down at him, her face only inches above his. She was lying half on him to do it. She could feel her nipples harden with the contact.
“Look at me, babe.”
She smiled when he did. There was hot passion in his eyes now, but whether from anger or desire, she couldn’t tell. Not that it mattered, when any reaction from him was gratifying.
“Now give me a joining kiss, and make it so hot it’d blow my circuits if I had any.” He started to bring his hands into play to do this, so used to having things come to him, like lips and breasts and such. She shook her head at him. “No-no, you still can’t touch Tedra.”
“How then may I kiss you?”
“With your lips, sweetcakes, just your lips.”
She grinned at the scowl he gave her, and waited patiently for him to catch on that his head was going to have to come up if he was going to obey her. It wouldn’t be a very comfortable position for him, but she wouldn’t prolong the kiss. She already had other ideas about what was next on the agenda.
When he finally raised his head, it was to capture her lips quite thoroughly, so thoroughly all thoughts of a short kiss vanished. In this he dominated as usual, his lips demanding she return their pressure, which she did, demanding she open her mouth for him, and she did that, too. Heat snaked to the pit of her stomach, but that was only one of the reactions her body was telling her about. There were others, just as powerful, and they all escalated when his tongue slipped in to caress and play with hers.
Stars, how she loved the taste of him. Intoxicated, she unconsciously slipped her hands behind his neck to support it. Not that those thick neck muscles couldn’t have done the job on their own, but she wasn’t taking any chances on having that kiss end before she was ready. She also wasn’t aware of his hands slipping around her wrists to hold them there, since he was in no hurry to have the kiss end either.
It went on for a very long time, because, as usual, she couldn’t think when his mouth was joined to hers. But finally she broke contact out of sheer self-preservation. She was going up in flames. She wanted him every bit as much as she had last night. And all he’d done was kiss her!
But then she became aware of his hands clamped firmly around her wrists. Also that her hands were holding his head up. Immediately she let go. So did he. Mentioning the breach was out of the question, even if she could find the breath to do it, since she’d practically put her wrists in his hands, trying to give him support he didn’t need.
She sat up, facing away from him. She felt like fanning herself, but she was sure his eyes were on her, so she didn’t. She did, however, take as much time as was needed to get her breath back to normal before turning back to him, only to have it catch in her throat when she did. There was no doubt now which passion burned in his eyes. His body gave hard evidence of it—very hard evidence.
She almost said to hell with everything else she wanted to do to him. It wasn’t fair that his need could fan her own. And the ease with which she had made him want her—was that another attempt at appeasement on his part, after his total lack of desire last night? She had demanded he relinquish control, but she knew very well he could retain as much of it as he liked and she wouldn’t know the difference. He could have merely told her he felt nothing and she’d have to believe him, since that was the one thing she couldn’t do anything about if it were true. And she wouldn’t even have doubted it after he’d already come not once but three times. Yet he’d allowed her to arouse him, giving her the response he thought she wanted from him even when he suspected she meant to leave him high and dry. Or did he know her well enough by now to know she couldn’t do that even if she wanted to, that her body would demand its own release, thereby giving him his? Maybe he did know it, or at least suspect it, and that was enough incentive to make her keep him in doubt a while more, and to add to that doubt.
She smiled at him quite wickedly. “I don’t know about you, babe, but I’m really enjoying myself. In fact, the next time I challenge you, I’m going to have to try much harder to win, now that I’ve had a taste of the power that comes with it.”
She ignored the frown that got her, and leaned over until her cheek rested against his chest. She brought her hand down next to her face and began to play with the nipple in front of her, watching it get as hard as hers already were. When he groaned she left off there and began to torment the rest of his skin, using both hands now, spreading her fingers wide to reach more of his chest, feeling the muscles jerk and ripple under her fingertips, hearing his heart pound beneath her ear.
“Stars, touching you is such pleasure, babe.”
She hadn’t meant to say that thought aloud or with such feeling, but she wasn’t sorry that it slipped out when she heard his much louder groan. She turned her head to place a kiss in the center of his chest, then looked up at him as she licked the same spot. He wasn’t having an easy time of it. His face was shades darker with a reddish hue. Beads of sweat had appeared on his brow, and his arms had bulged half again in size, indicating his hands were locked together behind his head and straining to stay that way. She had to give him credit. He didn’t close his eyes this time, but gazed back at her with such intensity, she had to look away herself or end it right now.
She wasn’t ready to do that, even if her body was all for the idea. No, she wanted him to have at least a little taste of what she’d gone through last night. But not to the point where he would hurt with need or beg for release. She couldn’t do that to a man like him, didn’t even want to. But she would make him worry a bit more.
“After last night,” she said as she began kissing her way down his chest to his belly, “I’ve discovered just how long I can delay the inevitable, even that I won’t perish if it doesn’t come to pass.”
“Woman—”
“No!” she cut in sharply, then bit his lower abdomen to emphasize her displeasure at his presumption. She knew he’d been warning her off the direction she’d taken, but she wasn’t going to be warned off. “You aren’t to speak, warrior. Didn’t I mention that before? This is my time to play with you, and Tedra wants to play . . . with all of you.”
She tried sucking on the spot where she’d left her mark, but the skin was so tightly drawn there she had to settle for licking to take the sting out of the bite. And licking on his lower abdomen really got him nervous. She heard a half groan, half growl, and smiled to herself. Was he doubting he could take much more? He’d have to.
“Don’t worry, babe,” she said as she licked her way closer to the most sensitive part of him. “I’m not going to do anything to you that you haven’t done to me.”
She knew very well that that would not reassure him. In fact, the sounds coming out of him now sounded suspiciously like choking. She would have laughed if her own breath wasn’t suspended with what she was about to do. She delayed it, running one hand down his leg, moving to the inside of his thigh, coming up gently with her nails. She felt him tremble where she rested across his stomach. Her own body answered with a spread of gooseflesh.
She cupped him where he was soft. She leaned over what was so hard and throbbing. Her barbarian had become very still. She guessed he was holding his breath. After all, she’d given him enough clues about her intention.
It fascinated her, this part of him that could give her such pleasur
e. Big and long and full of power like the rest of him, it usually responded only to his will. Tonight it responded to hers, and it responded so well.
“I love this body of yours, Challen,” she felt compelled to admit. “I love its strength, its gentleness. It amazes me that you’ve never hurt me with it, even unintentionally. I know you could . . . you know you could. But you’re very careful when you’re with a woman, aren’t you? The only time you’re not exactly gentle is when you make love, and then it’s deliberate. It scares me sometimes, how—ungentle—you can be. But it excites the hell out of me, too. And I think you know that. I think that’s why you do it . . .”
That was all the warning he got before she bent and raked her teeth slowly down the length of him, just as he had done to her breasts on several occasions. But it wasn’t an exact imitation, since she couldn’t have covered as much ground if she’d taken him into her mouth to scrape him as he’d done to her breasts. And she stopped short at biting the tip a bit harder as he had done to her nipples—not that she could have with the way he reared up, nearly unseating her.
“Easy, babe,” she chuckled. “You ought to know by now that I’m not done yet.”
And still giving him back some of his own, she followed the path her teeth had taken, but this time with her tongue. His moan was more a shout. His body went from stiff to trembling to stiff again. But his reactions, those same reactions she had demanded he give her, were having an unwanted side effect—on her. Driving him wild was driving her wild, and she had less endurance than he did. In fact, she couldn’t stand another minute of it.
She rose to her knees, faced him, and reached the unpleasant realization that she didn’t want to impale herself on his ready flesh, she wanted to be impaled. She could command him to make love to her, but she was afraid that wouldn’t do it either. She wanted his arms around her because he wanted them around her, not because she ordered them there. The plain truth was, she had become addicted to his special brand of domination. The helplessness it engendered was what took her outside herself and joined her to him, making her feel totally possessed . . . making her feel-loved.