"I missed you too."
"I had to make myself forget, or I would never have survived." "Forget what?"
"All that we had at the beginning. How sweet it was."
"It was sweet, but we didn't work as hard on our marriage as we did on everything else. That has to be different this time."
Jessie nodded.
"I love you, Jess," he said softly, just before his lips claimed hers. Jessie kissed him right back with all the abandon she felt, knowing this time they would not leave things undone.
Jessie woke on her, back to the weight of a large arm across her middle. For a moment she was disoriented and then remembered she was not in with the girls. She moved her head to look at Seth, who was on his side facing her and still asleep.
For the next several heartbeats she let herself be amazed that they were living again as husband and wife. It was the last thing she'd expected two months ago when Seth came into town, but then that was her way of doing things. She and Seth had married less than two months after meeting each other. She could only hope they would do better this time.
"What are you frowning about?" Seth asked, his voice low with a morning growl.
"The past."
"How far past?"
239Jessie looked at him and then rolled to face him.
"I was thinking about what you were saying last night that we didn't do well the first time."
Seth put his arms around her and drew her close, his heart praying.I'm not that same man, Lord. Please let it be different this time. Maybe Jess will never want You, but let our marriage be all it can be because of Your death for me.
"I'd better get up," Jessie said.
"-What time is it?"
"I think it's early, but untillItell the girls we're kissing again, I don't want them to find me in here."
Seth laughed a little at the wording before asking, "Do they ever wake up ahead of you?"
"Not often," Jessie said and then came close to kiss him. She had no desire to get up, but caring for her daughters kept her on task.
"Why don't you teach me how to make your coffee," Seth offered, and Jessie's mouth swung open as she slipped into her robe.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes," he said on a laugh. "I thought it might help you some mornings if I knew how."
"Seth I'm-Useless-in-the-Kitchen Redding wants to learn to make coffee. I think I might be beyond surprises."
The look he gave her told her she had gone too far. Jessie shot out of the bedroom with Seth on her trail.
"Oh, you're going to pay for that, Jessica," Seth said when he came from the bedroom to find Jessie across the room and still moving. "Now hold still. I'm not 23 anymore."
Stiffing laughter all the while, Jessie skirted the furniture while Seth came after her. It didn't take long for them to get loud. She let herself be caught a short time later, and the two were still kissing when they heard the girls' feet coming out of bed and onto the floor. Seth went back to the bedroom to dress, and Jessie started the coffee herself. It was during breakfast that she told the girls about the changes with Seth while he quietly listened.
240"Do you remember asking me if Seth and I kiss?" Jessie asked Clancy.
"Urn hm. You said you would tell us."
"Well, Seth and I do kiss now."
"Can we watch?" Hannah asked.
"Well..." Jessie had to fight laughter and didn't dare look at Seth. "This is what we'll do," Seth cut in, his voice also laughter-filled. "If
we're kissing and you're in the room, you can watch. How will that be?" "Today? Will you kiss today?" Clancy asked.
"Why is this so important?" Seth wished to know.
"I don't know," Clancy shrugged, and Seth was certain he'd get no more out of her. Hannah, however, had something to say.
"We want Mama to like you.
"Your mother does like me," Seth said, his heart sinking when he saw how aware his young daughters had been.
Hannah looked to Jessie, who nodded. The nine-year-old managed to look relieved and excited all at the same time.
"Finish your breakfast now," Jessie urged them. "It's almost time to get downstairs."
Taking the conversation in stride, the girls finished and were out the door for school not ten minutes later. Seth and Jessie stood on the boardwalk and watched their daughters walk toward the schoolhouse before heading back inside. It wasn't quite time to open the store, so Seth took the opportunity to talk to Jessie about a house.
"Come here," Seth said to her, taking her hand and leading her to the storeroom. Jessie thought he wanted to kiss her and was surprised when he walked all the way to the rear door and opened it.
"I've been thinking and doing some checking. What do you think of this piece of land back here?"
"What am I supposed to think of it?" Jessie asked, remembering his actions from earlier in the week.
"Isn't that a good place to build a house?"
The face Jessie turned to him was a mixture of incredulous and excited.
241"Areyou serious?" she asked in a voice that sounded as though she didn't dare to hope.
"I'm very serious. We can buy it and build."
"When did this start?"
"That's what I was doing on Monday night-checking into it."
Before we ever touched each otherwas all Jessie could think. She was so surprised that she didn't know what to say. Seth took the silence as negative.
"I haven't done anything that can't be undone. If you don't like it, Jessie, I'll drop the whole idea."
"That's not it," she was swift to tell him. "I just didn't know" "Didn't know what?"
Jessie looked at him, unable to put her feelings into words. He was the same man and yet so different.
"I didn't know what you were doing on Monday night. I speculated on some things, but this never once came to mind."
"And now that it has, what do you think?"
Jessie looked back out at the land. The store sat on Main Street, and the lot directly behind it on Corbin Street was empty.Ahouse sat to the right of the lot Seth was looking at, but to the left was another empty lot. None of them was huge, but there was plenty of room for a house. A home.
"I think it would be wonderful," Jessie finally said, still unable to believe it might happen. "I don't know about the money, though."
"I have enough to buy the land and pay for about half of the house," Seth said.
jessie's heart sank. "Money from working for that banker?"
"As amatterof fact, no. I did make good money on that job, but I was also into investing. The money I have put away is from money I've invested over the years. I cashed almost everything out before coming back to Token Creek. I still have one investment in Texas that Cassy takes care of for me."
Jessie could barely keep her mouth shut. She had no idea that he had that type of business acumen. She would have said more, but Seth suddenly looked at his watch.
242"I've got to open up," he said, bending to kiss her. "Think about it and let me know."
Jessie stayed where she was, still looking out the back, a dozen questions shooting through her mind. She studied the lot with its proximity to the store and began to imagine. What she saw in her mind brought a smile to her face.
"I stopped by the shop, and Jeanette said you were home," Nate said to Heather on Friday afternoon. "How is he doing?"
"He just fell asleep," Heather said, glancing at the child who occupied the love seat, his blanket clutched in one fist. "He misses Bri terribly, but he's holding up well."
"How is she doing?"
"I haven't talked to her since last night, but she was doing well then." "What did Ertz say?"
"That she needs to be still until they're sure she's not starting labor. It's too soon for that."
"When is she due?"
"Not until November."
Nate's mind was swept back to the baby his wife lost the first year they were married. She had not been seven months along, but it had still been hard.
/>
"Are you all right?" Heather asked.
"Yes, I'm just thinking about babies," Nate admitted and then looked at Danny. "That one is special."
"I think that might start with special parents."
"I'm sure you're right," Nate agreed in a no-nonsense voice.
"You must meet so many people who didn't have a Rylan and Bri as they grew up," Heather said as she realized that fact.
"That's very true. I think many of them didn't have anyone at all when they were growing up."
"I remember Bri telling me about her friend, Crystal. Crystal's father
243taught her to steal' Heather said, recalling the conversation. "She didn't like going to jail, and that was how she turned to prostitution."
"I remember Crystal. Do you know if Bri has heard from her lately?"
"I don't. I'll have to ask."
Danny shifted around just then, and before Heather could move, Nate stood and made sure the boy didn't roll from the seat. He shifted him a little toward the back, something Danny slept through.
"I'd better go so I don't wake him."
"I'm glad you came."
"Maybe we can go for a walk this evening," Nate offered. "I'll plan on it."
The two looked at each other a moment before Nate said goodbye and left. He'd never told Heather that he loved her, but she was starting to see it in everything he did. She could also see it in herself. She was starting to love Nate Kaderly.
"I came as soon as I heard," Jessie said to Bri, having let herself into the house on Friday afternoon when no one answered the door. "I'm glad you did. Is Seth watching the store?"
"Yes, with the girls. They wanted to come until they found out that Danny wasn't here."
Bri smiled. "I simply don't rate as high as Danny."
"It's the bane of every parent. I have some customers who deliberately shop when they know the girls will be there."
Bri chuckled but then grew serious. "How are you?"
"I'm doing well."
"That's good to hear. How is Seth coming along with the girls?"
"It's amazing. I knew they needed a man in their lives, but not until I watched it every day did I realize how much. They respond so quickly to his authority. I didn't think it would last. I thought at first they obeyed out of fear of not knowing what he would do, but it hasn't
244worn off. Not yet, anyway." Jessie hesitated before adding, "Seth and I are even doing well."
"What brought that about?"
"He said some things I couldn't ignore, and that changed howl felt about him." Jessie knew that wasn't all of it, but she couldn't find the words. Her feelings had been changing for him for the past month. "Enough about me!" she said before Bri could ask anything else. "Tell me more about you."
"I'm fine. I miss Danny, but I'm fine."
"Do you believe God planned this for you?" Jessie asked, not sure why.
"That's exactly what I believe."
"And what if something happens, Bri, and you never have this baby , in your family? Did God plan that too?"
"He did. There's great comfort in knowing that nothing is out of His will."
"Why is that a comfort?"
"I didn't believe in God for a long time. I was scared about a lot of things."
"But you don't have any more control over things now," Jessie argued.
"That's true, but God is in charge of everything and loved me enough
to die for me. He won't let me go through any of it without Him." Jessie wasn't sure this made sense to her, but she did her best not to
show it. She didn't think there was any point in discussing it further
but didn't know how to say this.
She would have been surprised to know that Bri could read this in her, and that's why she changed the subject. The women talked about various things in the next 30 minutes but never ventured back to spiritual topics. Nevertheless, Bri had plenty to say on spiritual topics, and said them all in prayer as soon as her friend left.
245"What's going on?" Seth asked when he found the girls in the corner of the storeroom, both sporting murderous expressions. Years ago he had set up a play area for Hannah, and although no longer partitioned off, the girls still used it for their dolls and some of their toys.
"Hannah said I could have the baby carriage, and now she won't share."
"Is that right, Hannah?"
"I just changed my mind," Hannah said defensively, wanting more than believing that this was fair.
"How would you feel if I said I was taking you to see Danny and then just changed my mind?" Seth asked her.
"I wouldn't like it," Hannah admitted in a much smaller voice. To the girls' surprise, Seth then turned to his youngest daughter. "You could do better right now as well, Clancy," he told her. "It was
wrong of Hannah to offer the carriage and then change her mind, but
your getting all angry and upset about a toy is just as selfish."
"But she said-" Clancy began to disagree, but Seth cut her off. "And you're arguing with me right now, and that's selfish too." Both girls stared up at him, and Seth made a swift decision. "Come to the front and do some small jobs for me right now.
When I say you can come back and play, I'll expect you to do a
better job."
The girls didn't argue about this. Young as Clancy was, she had not liked being told she was selfish. As for Hannah, the example of Seth telling her something and then changing his mind had hit home. She knew that was a wrong way to act, and there was no excuse she could give. Without a murmur of protest, she went to do whatever Seth asked of her, knowing she deserved the punishment.
"How is Bri?" Seth asked when the girls were in bed that night and he finally had his wife to himself.
"She has no idea when she'll be out of that bed, but she's taking it
246very well." Jessie suddenly frowned. "She talked about God the way you do with the girls."
"Did that bother you?"
"No, I just don't understand it. I don't know how any of you can believe in something you can't see."
"I can see how you might feel that way," Seth said. "You're a very hardworking person. It would be easy to have strong reasons for believing in all the things you've accomplished with that hard work."
Jessie suddenly didn't want to talk about this. He had not sounded mean, but she felt as though all of her hard work meant little. If she kept thinking about it, she knew they would end up quarreling.
"Tell me everything you did on Monday night for the house," Jessie said, remembering they hadn't talked about it again. Seth didn't try , to change the topic back. He had decided long ago with Rylan's help that shoving his belief at his wife was one of the worst things he could
do.
Seth did go over what he'd done Monday night with her, and she laughed as he described going from place to place and asking the questions he did. When he was finished, they talked about what they wanted in the house, what they could afford, and how soon they could meet with Chas. Jessie was starting to believe this was truly going to happen. It made sleeping that night almost impossible.
"Thank you for your questions and concerns about Sabrina," Rylan began at the front of the congregation on Sunday morning. "Sabrina is doing well, but she won't be getting out of bed until the doctor is sure she's not going into labor too soon. Thank you for the prayers, the food, and seeing to Danny. Sabrina and I can't tell you what a blessing you all are.
"I had my sermon ready early this week," Rylan went on. "That would seem like good news since the week didn't end as I expected, but instead of the sermon I planned for this morning I need to tell you
247some thoughts I had on Thursday morning when I realized Sabrina needed the doctor.
"I was not frantic to get out the door, but I didn't take my time either. I didn't think Sabrina should be up and around at all, so I took Danny with me. As I was walking toward Doctor Ertz's home, I felt the first signs of anxiety. You know the ones I mean, the feeli
ng of helplessness in your chest, that sensation of dread that someone you love might be hurt or die.
"Interestingly enough, at the same time I also felt the weight of my son in my arms, and it came to me that it wouldnever onceoccur to Danny that I would drop him. He felt as secure and comfortable as any child could. If any of you have lifted my son, you know he's not a small boy," Rylan added, catching smiles on many faces. "But as you might also imagine, he weighs next to nothing to me when I lift him.
"As I thought about this type of trust, it put my worry in a new light. Why did I think God would drop me? Why would I imagine God not taking care of Sabrina in a way that would glorify Him? If I think my son weighs nothing in my arms, I can barely imagine how light I am in the arms of God. God would never drop me or Sabrina. Here I was, anxious for her when the God of the universe is holding all of this in His hands. I saw my worry for what it was. I called it the sin that it was, and I repented of it.
"I can tell you what a relief that was. I hated my worry for what it was. Sin against God. And then I stopped. I didn't think that I'd better think about it or that I needed to work on it. I stopped. When sin becomes clear to me, I must stop.
"Let me go through the process for you again. You might not be worrying. It might be something else. But if it's sin, it has to be dealt with. Call it what it is: sin. Hate it for the sin that it is. And stop it. How many excuses do we have? 'I've always been that way.' 'My dad was hot- tempered and I'm the same way.' 'I'm just having a bad time right now.' 'You don't know how hard this is for me.' How many of those have we said and given ourselves permission to go on sinning?
"I want us to be done with that today. Do we believe that a mighty
248and holy God died for our sins? I'm looking around this room, and I know that every adult in here believes that very thing. Then what are we doing living in the sin Christ died for? There is no excuse. Call it what it is, hate it, and stop it.
"This is normally the time I would close us in prayer, but I'm not going to do that today. My sermon is done, but I'm not going to dismiss you. Take as much time as you need. If you want to visit with one another, head to the foyer or outside. Today we're going to keep this room quiet. If someone is sitting quietly, please allow them that time."
Rylan moved to the front row then and took Danny from Becky's arms. He sat down with the rest of his congregation and prayed, asking God to humble him and his wife so that they might raise a humble son to serve Him.