‘Was,’ said Ulaume. ‘Might I ask who told you about me?’
‘Pellaz,’ said Seel, clearly also recalling the earlier conversation in the house and how Ulaume was mimicking it, ‘but you were never a consort of his, were you?’
‘Stop it!’ Flick said. ‘This does no good. We came here to find out about Pell and this is part of it.’ He reached up and touched one of Ulaume’s hands. ‘I know,’ he murmured. ‘I know why you’re doing this and I’m grateful, but there’s no need.’
Ulaume was pleased to note the gesture was not lost on Seel, because he appeared momentarily sour.
‘Why don’t we all go back to the house?’ Seel said. ‘You can meet Swift and we’ll tell you all we know. Come on now. This should be an occasion for celebration, not harsh words. Old friends are finding each other again.’
It was obvious that Seel didn’t want Ulaume to be included in the party, but Flick insisted. Ulaume knew he needed the support. It was not good for Ulaume to discover that Pellaz had spoken badly about him, but hadn’t Pellaz once told him in a vision, albeit obliquely, that might be the case? Ulaume felt old feelings well up within him, the old resentments. He could smell the festival fire of the night when he’d been determined to curse Pellaz. Things never work out how you expect.
As they returned to the house, Tel-an-Kaa came up beside Ulaume and put a hand upon his arm, indicating with a pointed glance that he should hang back from the main group with her. ‘What?’ he asked coldly.
They continued to walk slowly behind the others.
‘We are all here for reasons,’ she said, apparently not offended by his unfriendly tone. ‘I know about the individual in your care. I know how much you have cared for her. I do not share the Parsic view of Ulaume of the Kakkahaar. I believe no har but you could have looked after the child as you did. You are her guardian, as is Flick, but she is also a concern of mine.’
‘Flick told you,’ Ulaume said. ‘Risky of him. I know of your tribe, how you mix humans and hara, but you should know that Lileem is not a human. She is har, just different, that’s all.’
‘I know she’s not human,’ Tel-an-Kaa said, ‘as I know she is not har. Flick said nothing to me. She has been called, hasn’t she? Isn’t that partly why you’re here, heading east?’
‘Yes,’ Ulaume said, coming to a stand-still. ‘Did you call her?’
Tel-an-Kaa took his arm and led him onwards. ‘Say nothing to Swift and the others about the girl,’ she said. ‘Say nothing. This is most important. Her safety depends on it, and you have to trust me on that for now. You must intimate this to Flick too. I couldn’t speak earlier because the har Leef was present.’
‘Did you know we’d be here tonight?’
‘No,’ said Tel-an-Kaa. ‘That was a fortunate coincidence. I felt Lileem’s presence near and have been drawn here for the purpose of finding her. I arrived only this morning and have had to spend the day observing the niceties of social behaviour with the family. Now, it seems, I won’t have to work to find the one I seek. Etheric influences move in our favour.’
Ulaume, rather than feeling hostile as he usually would, was sure he could trust this strange human. It was most bizarre. ‘There is more than one,’ Ulaume said. ‘It appears, although we don’t know how, that Lileem managed to incept a human woman too. She is with us. She is…’ He took a deep breath. ‘She is, or was, the Tigron’s sister.’
‘Aah,’ breathed Tel-an-Kaa. ‘Even better.’
Chapter Twenty Four
Too much is happening at once, Flick thought. His head ached and he found it hard to concentrate on what hara were saying to him. They treated him like a celebrity, but he wasn’t. He was conscious of Seel standing so close to him, a familiar face who was a stranger. This wasn’t the Seel he knew. All the edges had been planed off. His hair was straight and sleek and all one colour. His clothes were less flamboyant. He was Gelaming now, no matter how much his new family might want him to be Parsic. He was Thiede’s eyes and ears in this house. Flick couldn’t be bothered to be hurt or angry. He thought wistfully of ‘Esmeraldarine’ chugging up the river, the moonlight on the water and the laughter of his companions. He dreaded now that the life he had grown to enjoy was gone forever, and that he must do all that he could to resist the onslaught to his senses and will that was sure to come.
Seel wanted him to go to Immanion almost immediately: he wanted to show off his find to Pellaz, like a good hunting dog returning with a plump kill. Flick didn’t think he could face it. None of this felt like real life to him, not like living on the river did. And what about Lileem and Mima? How could he explain them? Also, Ulaume would not be involved in any journey to Immanion. As far as the Gelaming were concerned, his kind were scum.
It was hard to meet Swift and witness the obvious affection between him and Seel, an affection that came so easily and so genuinely. Swift had a handsome, open countenance and rarely did not smile. His smile was very attractive. Flick wondered if he could muster the energy to be jealous of, or hateful towards, this splendid har, but it seemed like too much effort. Then there were the harlings. To add insult to injury, it transpired that Seel had borne a pearl for Swift, and no har had to remind Flick how rare and special that was. He could not picture ever having felt that close to Seel and could not help imagining what it must have been like for him and Swift. And then, the greatest revelation of all: a sulky young har with pale yellow hair, who stood on the edge of the party, moodily watching the proceedings. Flick felt his eyes drawn to this individual time and again, until Seel said, ‘Ah, you’ve noticed the resemblance. Your eyes do not deceive you. That’s Tyson. He looks like Cal, which is hardly surprising, because he is Cal’s son.’
‘Is that legal?’ Flick couldn’t help blurting, wondering how any har could want to continue Cal’s tainted bloodline.
Seel laughed. ‘It’s all that Terzian ever wanted.’
‘He told me,’ Flick said. ‘Cal told me that Terzian tried to persuade him to stay here when he visited with Pell.’
‘He told you a lot,’ Seel said. ‘Don’t think I wasn’t aware of it.’
There is so much hurt in the world, Flick thought, so many intrigues and complex politics in the realm of relationships. As hara, we’re supposed to rise above all that, but it’s not true. We are just as bad at it as humans ever were. Now Seel is remembering how jealous he used to feel about Cal and me.
And in Seel’s tone and the eyes of the harling in the corner of the room, Flick guessed that Tyson had to pay for his heritage, in small ways, every day.
‘You know Cal came back here after Saltrock?’ Seel said.
Flick nodded. ‘Yes, a friend of ours told us.’
‘Who?’
‘You don’t know him. He visited Galhea and heard the gossip.’
‘Well, Cal’s had it now. Thiede finally got him. He promised to me that he would and he did.’
‘You think highly of Thiede now, then?’
‘He is unique,’ Seel said. ‘And he kept his promise.’
He bought you, Flick thought, but because he wasn’t Ulaume, he didn’t say it aloud.
‘So how come you’re with the Kakkahaar?’ Seel asked.
‘We met up. Coincidence,’ Flick said. ‘Everything is coincidence.’
‘I presume Cal told you about him too.’
‘Yes. I form my own opinions of hara. Ulaume is my closest friend and we are unthrist. We only have each other and we like it that way.’
Seel gave him a considered stare.
There is no way I’m going to tell you about Mima and Lileem, Flick thought. We are going to get out of here and we’re going to have our proper life back, wherever it leads us. ‘What will the Gelaming do to Cal?’
‘They will attempt to rehabilitate him, which will be a complete waste of time. It’s not my concern. He’s suffering now. That’s all I care about.’
‘And Pell? Is that all he cares about too?’
Seel took a breath through hi
s nose. ‘Pell has a consort called Caeru. It’s all history.’
You both forgot about all of us, Flick thought. He felt sick.
‘Don’t think about that,’ Seel said. ‘It’s dark history and it’s best forgotten. You’ll love Immanion. It’s all we ever dreamed it could be.’
‘Mmm,’ Flick murmured.
These hara are no longer my life, he thought. In coming here, I have been given release. A feeling of gratitude flooded his body. He felt weak with it. Ulaume caught his eye from across the room and winked. Flick smiled at him. My friend, he thought. Ulaume appeared to have taken a shine to Tel-an-Kaa, which was surprising, but then the woman seemed to be one of the few present who wanted to speak to him. Even Chelone kept his distance now, no doubt fearful of incurring Seel’s displeasure.
‘Where are you staying?’ Seel asked.
‘On a riverboat,’ Flick answered. ‘It’s ours.’
‘Come and stay here,’ Seel said. ‘Swift would be more than pleased. Any friend of Pell’s is a friend of his.’
Flick put the glass he was holding down on a table. ‘Seel, get this straight, we can’t just…’ He scraped a hand through his hair. ‘I can’t forget what happened to me and I can’t call myself Pell’s friend. Friends keep in touch, don’t they? Respect what I am and let me be.’
Seel frowned. ‘You’re here now.’
‘Did I have a choice?’ Flick sighed. ‘I’m sorry. This is all a bit overwhelming.’
‘No, it’s me who should say sorry,’ Seel said softly.
Flick looked into Seel’s eyes, and his heart turned over, but then Seel said, ‘I just take it for granted, all this. I understand how you must feel, being swept along in this great current of change. You need time. That’s OK.’ He reached out and touched Flick’s face and it took all of Flick’s will not to flinch away. ‘You’re not going anywhere,’ Seel said. ‘Not tonight.’
Just for a brief moment, Flick was back in the tepee of Wraxilan the Uigenna. He must get away as soon as he could.
Seel, however, clearly did not intend to let Flick drift from his side and Swift kept away, no doubt believing Seel and Flick wanted to catch up on old times in private. Flick wondered how much Seel had told Swift, and how it would go when he finally had to insist he was leaving.
Hara began to leave the party around two in the morning. By this time, Flick had drunk quite a lot but he didn’t feel intoxicated by it. Seel had told him the story of how he’d met Swift, when Swift had taken Cal to the Gelaming. ‘Swift thought he was looking for his father, but in reality he was delivering a criminal into custody,’ he said. ‘It was the way it was meant to happen.’
‘How did Swift feel about that?’ Flick asked. ‘I heard he thinks fondly of Cal.’
‘Swift rarely has bad thoughts about anyhar,’ Seel said. ‘He feels sorry for Cal, that’s all. He has a big heart.’
‘How is Saltrock?’ Flick asked. ‘Do you ever go back there?’
‘I don’t have the time, really,’ Seel said, without a flicker. ‘Colt and Stringer run it more than adequately, I’m sure.’
You gave up your dreams, Flick thought. I’m not sure I even like you any more.
‘We had good times once,’ Flick said. ‘I miss them. But life moves on.’ He paused. ‘Seel, I don’t want to go to Immanion. It was… interesting… meeting up with you like this, but I’m already pining for the river. I have to go.’
Seel blinked at him. ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘I’m serious. Please don’t argue about it.’ He took a deep breath. ‘No matter who and what you’ve become, you can’t order me around any more.’
‘It’s not our decision,’ Seel said. ‘Don’t you understand? Pell would want to see you and he is Tigron. He’s never stopped mentioning you, Flick. He was devastated to hear we’d… to hear you’d left Saltrock. It is my duty to take you to him, and yours to comply. If you don’t want to remain in Immanion after that, it’s between you and Pell, but he’d never forgive me if I just let you slip away again.’
‘Then don’t tell him!’ Flick snapped. He glanced around desperately for Ulaume, sure that if he tried to make a run for it, Seel would order hara to restrain him.
‘Sleep on it,’ Seel said. ‘Sleep here. We can talk more tomorrow.’
‘And Ulaume?’ Flick asked. ‘Can he sleep on it too?’
‘Ulaume is not part of this,’ Seel said. ‘He never was. You know what happened between him and Pell once.’
‘So… let me get this right. You are taking me away from my chesnari? I have no choice?’
Seel laughed. ‘You are not chesna with him. I appreciate you might have seen qualities that have passed others by, but… Flick, you can’t reject what’s on offer. I tried to once, but I don’t regret going for it eventually. Look what I have now.’
‘You used to say that,’ Flick said bitterly. ‘You used to say that, when kids were scared of inception. I remember.’
‘So, it’s another kind of inception. Your point being?’
‘Call your guards,’ Flick said.
‘What?’
‘Call them. It’s the only way you’ll force me to stay here.’
Seel stared at him. ‘Don’t make me do that.’
‘What? Don’t make you put the knife in me, don’t give me the blood? Oh, but you can’t because I know too much now, don’t I? I know the truth and truth is dangerous. I know hara died and went mad so that Pellaz could become Tigron. I know that Thiede turned a har of integrity and vision into a tame dog. Not everyhar in the world waves the Gelaming flag, Seel, and you know it. So, you can’t have loose cannons running about, can you?’
‘You never doubted being incepted.’
‘Pell did.’
‘And where is he now?’
Flick closed his eyes for a second. He saw the inevitable conclusion, but why waste any more time? ‘I mean it,’ he said and turned for the door. Ulaume could follow him, if pursuit was a possibility.
From the corner of his vision, Flick saw Seel press his hands against his face briefly, then make a gesture. At once, two hara came to his side. ‘Escort tiahaar Flick to one of the guest rooms,’ he said. ‘A secure room, and have the Kakkahaar escorted to the boundary of the estate.’
‘Seel,’ Flick said dismally, still disappointed, despite his fears. ‘No…’
But before he could make a scene, he was firmly and swiftly led from the room. The last thing he saw was Tyson watching him knowingly from among the drapes by the tall windows, where the last light of the fire came in to conjure animal fierceness in the harling’s eyes.
When they’d returned to Forever after the war with the Varrs, Swift and Seel had made Terzian’s master bedroom their own. It had been redesigned since the days when the Varr leader had slept there. It was now a much lighter, airier place, and warm memories had been imprinted over less wholesome ones. But that night, the atmosphere in the room was sour and tense and the light seemed too bright.
Seel sat on the window seat, staring moodily out over the dark gardens, while Swift stood over him, glaring. It was not a common expression for Swift.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ he demanded. ‘Have you gone mad? You can’t just lock that har up like that.’
‘So release him,’ Seel said. ‘You explain to Pell why you did it.’
Swift sighed heavily and it sounded like a snort. ‘Pell doesn’t have to know. You’re well aware of that. This is about something else and we all know what.’
‘Enlighten me. I can’t wait.’
Swift was silent for a moment. ‘I don’t know you,’ he said. ‘This isn’t you, Seel.’
‘Yes it is, or has your memory been wiped? Remember when we met.’
‘I don’t care about that. I want to know why you imprisoned one of my guests. What has this to do with your insane obsession with Cal?’
Seel pressed one hand against the cold glass of the window, thought about pressing until it broke. ‘I don’t want to
feel this way,’ he said. ‘Flick was… he was an essential component in all that happened. Pell wants to speak to him and so do I. I never asked him much about what he knew of Orien’s death. I treated him badly, took out my anger and hurt on him.’
‘And this is the way to make amends?’
Seel closed his eyes. ‘No. I just want to take him to Immanion.’
‘You can’t force him. It’s wrong.’
Seel leapt up from his seat and Swift backed away a little. ‘I know it’s wrong, but I have to do it. Flick’s just being stupid and awkward. If I don’t make him do this, he’ll regret it later, when it’s too late. Pell is very fond of Flick. He’s been concerned about him from the moment he found out that Flick left Saltrock alone.’
‘Is that so?’ Swift said. ‘Strange. I was sure this was really something to do with Cal.’
Seel was silent for a moment and when he spoke again his voice was low. ‘All right, Swift, all right. The truth is that Pell hides what he feels, but every day a part of him is dying. Can you understand that? For a long time, I’ve kept a lot of the truth from Pell, to protect him, but now I think differently. He has to speak to Flick and Flick has to tell him what he knows. Nohar knows what Pell is going through, his pain. Nohar but me, because he can’t show it. He is Tigron and Cal is a dirty stain in his past. Flick was there the night Orien died. I believe Cal spoke to him.’
‘You want to believe that. You have no proof.’
Seel thumped his chest. ‘I do. In here.’
‘You and Pell encourage each other in unhealthy love and unhealthy hate,’ Swift said. ‘You shouldn’t draw Flick into that nest of snakes.’
‘Oh, will you just stop being the voice of reason?’ Seel said angrily. ‘I’ll take Flick to the city, then bring him right back. Give him gifts, adorn the Kakkahaar with jewels, or whatever it is they like. Make amends in whatever way you see fit, but I won’t be swayed on this.’
‘He will hate you for it, as if he doesn’t already have enough reasons. Don’t go back to that bad place you used to live in. Don’t revive the worst aspects of the past.’