"Oh my God," Mom said. "He was going to kill us."
"We don't know that, ma'am," Officer Washington said. "We don't even know for certain it was your ex-husband."
"The cop that was attacked," Jack said. "Is he all right?"
"He's expected to live," Officer Washington said.
"Krissi," I said. "You said she was dead too."
Officer Myers nodded. "She was found in the car," she said. "Wrapped in a blanket on the floor of the back seat."
"Stabbed?" Jack asked.
"Her head was severed," Officer Washington said. "I am sorry, ma'am, that we have to tell you this. Do you think you're up to making the identifications?"
"I can't identify the girl," Mom said. "I've never seen her."
"But you do remember what Dwayne Coffey looks like?" Officer Myers said.
"Yes," Mom said. "I do. Hold on. I'll change into some clothes and come with you."
"I'll come too," Jack said.
"No," Mom said. "You stay with Willa." She grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom to change.
"They're really all dead?" I asked. "He came to our house and you killed him?"
Officer Washington looked at me. "She's in shock," he said. "Maybe you should take her to the emergency room."
"No," I said. "I'm okay."
Jack walked over and wrapped a blanket around me. "There'll be reporters all over the hospital," he said. "Will you be able to get Terri in and out without them seeing?"
"We'll do our best," Officer Washington said. "And we'll see if we can find a doctor to make a house call here."
"Thank you," Jack said. Or at least I think he said thank you. Because that's the kind of family I come from. We're very polite. Even when people die on our doorsteps, we remember to say please and thank you and excuse me.
Nine
IT WAS ALMOST NOON when I woke up, and I was startled to find Mom asleep on the other side of the bed.
I tiptoed to the bathroom, splashed some cold water on my face, and groggily made my way to the living room. Jack was sitting at the table with Curt and Pauline. The room smelled of freshly brewed coffee.
I saw an open box of Danish and grabbed one. Pauline handed me a napkin.
Something about that gesture made me remember. Budge had been killed in front of our house the night before. Krissi, the last of my half sisters, was dead. What was it the officer had said? Her head severed.
I ran to the bathroom and threw up. When I finally emerged, I saw Mom was still sleeping.
"The doctor gave both of you sedatives," Jack said. "You were asleep by the time Terri got back."
"The cop," I said. "The one Budge cut."
"He's fine," Pauline said. "Treated and released."
"Budge came to our house," I said. "Did he come to kill us? If we'd been there, if the cops hadn't ... would he have killed us all?"
"It doesn't matter," Jack said. "We weren't there, and the police were, and it's all over."
"There's a way some people choose to die," Curt said. "Suicide by cop. They do things that force police officers to kill them. I think that's what happened last night. Budge had enough of killing. He was ready to die."
"You make it sound so noble," Jack said.
Curt shook his head. "He was insane," he said. "He'd obviously lost all grip on reality. Maybe he meant to kill all of you. Maybe he was bringing Krissi as some kind of offering. We'll never know. But you're right about one thing, Jack. It's over. That's what's important. The nightmare is over, and you'll be able to get your lives back, as though this had never happened."
I thought, We'll be a happy family again. My mother, my stepfather, my stepsisters, my half brother I've never met, my slaughtered stepmother and half sisters, my insane father killed by police bullets in my front yard. That's the life I'll be getting back.
I would have burst out laughing, but I was afraid of how they'd react if I did. Instead I bit hard on the inside of my mouth, until the intensity of the pain let me get back under control.
"Brooke," I said. "Alyssa. Do they know?"
Jack nodded. "Alyssa woke up early, went online, and found out what happened before I had a chance to call," he replied. "Val's angry because I didn't tell her right away." He paused. "If I had, if I'd called Val in the middle of the night, that would have upset her just as much. But it would have been better for the girls. I didn't want Alyssa and Brooke to find out this way."
"There's no good way to find out something like this," Pauline said. "Willa, why don't you shower and get dressed. Maybe you'll feel up to eating after you've freshened up."
I did as she suggested. Even after I rejoined them, Mom was still sleeping.
"It's almost one," I said. "We missed the checkout time."
"We can't go home now anyway," Jack said. "Our house is a crime scene. The police are still there, and so are the reporters."
I noticed the TV set was off. "Is it on TV?" I asked. "Budge? Our house?"
Pauline nodded. "There's no reason for you to see any of it," she said. "They're not going to tell us anything we don't already know."
"Please," I said, thinking if I saw our front yard, our house, on the news, I might be able to believe what had happened there.
"No," Jack said. "Maybe later, Willa. I don't want you to see it now."
I knew Jack felt he was protecting me. That's what Jack did, protect me, protect Brooke and Alyssa, protect Mom. Even when we didn't want to be protected, he did it anyway.
"Is it in the papers?" I asked.
"Some," Curt said. "There'll be more tomorrow. It happened so late last night, it missed the deadline."
Deadline, I thought. A line of the dead. This time I did laugh.
"You need something to eat," Pauline said. "Something more nutritious than Danish. Fresh air would do you good too. Why don't I take you out for brunch?"
"Is that such a good idea?" Curt asked. "What if someone spots Willa?"
"We'll go to the Bright Star," Pauline said, naming a diner a half hour away. "We'll be gone a couple of hours. By the time we get back, Terri'll be awake, and she and Jack will have had a chance to talk."
"Are you up for it?" Jack asked me. "Getting out of here for a couple of hours?"
I had no idea what I was up for, but I did sense I could talk to Pauline in a way I couldn't to Jack or Mom. I nodded.
"Good," Pauline said, grabbing her jacket and mine. "We'll see you in a while. Call if there's something you want us to get while we're out."
It felt strange to walk out of the motel suite and ride the elevator down to the lobby. I'd been in the suite for less than two days, but it was starting to feel like I'd spent my whole life there.
"Thanks for suggesting lunch out," I said. "I don't care where we go, just as long as it isn't here."
But Pauline was already pushing me back into the elevator. "Reporters," she whispered. "Checking in."
We rode the elevator back up in silence. My exciting expedition had lasted two minutes.
"No one saw us," Pauline told Jack and Curt as we took our jackets off and settled back in. "But I couldn't risk having Willa walk across the lobby to the parking lot. I knew a couple of the guys checking in. Even if they didn't recognize Willa, they would have spotted me."
"Well, it was worth the try," Jack said.
"I can slip out later," Curt said. "Get us something to eat. The reporters won't be in the lobby very long. They'll be going to the police station, to the crime scene."
"My home," Jack said. "The crime scene."
"That's what they do," Curt said. "But by the time they get back tonight, the three of you should be out of here."
"You can stay with us for as long as you need to," Pauline said.
Jack thought about it. "Today's Saturday," he said. "Sunday's a slow news day, so it'll be front page around here. Maybe some coverage on Monday, especially if they get their hands on Terri or Willa."
"These things burn out fast," Curt said. "The local crews wil
l lose interest soon. The cable guys might go to Texas for the funerals, but that should be it."
"Val could send the girls home Tuesday," Jack said. "Wednesday at the latest. We'd be out of your hair by then. Willa could even go back to school Tuesday."
"That might be pushing it," Curt said. "But Wednesday for sure."
"No!" I said.
They stared at me, as though they'd never heard the word no before.
"My sisters died," I said.
"Your sisters are fine," Jack said. "They're in Orlando, with Val. You'll see them in a few days."
"My blood sisters," I said, remembering with the sting of a cut that I couldn't even recall Krissi's name last night. "My blood father. My stepmother. They died. They're all dead."
"You didn't know them," Jack said. "They mean nothing to you, Willa."
"Don't tell me what means nothing!" I shouted. "You don't know. You just ask me to pretend all the time. Well, I won't. I'm through pretending. They were my family. They're part of me."
"Willa, this is very hard on all of us," Jack said. "We're trying to make it as easy for you and Terri as possible."
"I don't want it to be easy," I said. "I'm going to Pryor. I'm going to their funeral."
I must have spoken louder than I realized, because Mom came out of the bedroom. She looked like the ghost of the Mom I loved.
"No," she said. "You can't go. I won't let you."
"I have sisters," I said. "Sisters who died. I have to go to their funeral."
"You never knew them," Mom said. "They're strangers, Willa."
"And whose fault is that?" I asked. "Who kept me from them?"
"Willa, that's not fair," Jack said. "Your mother was protecting you. You've got to see that now, see what he really was like."
"He was a killer," I said. "And I'm half his. That's not going to change, not ever, Jack. You think I don't know that?"
"What we all think is that you're overwrought," Curt said. "The past couple of days have been a nightmare for you, for all of you. Maybe Tuesday is too soon for you to go back to school. Maybe you should stay out a few extra days."
"I'll be in Pryor on Tuesday," I said. "I'll stay there until the funerals. By then, everything should be back to normal here. Brooke and Alyssa'll be back home, Jack'll be back at work. We'll act like this never happened." My mind flashed to my little basement refuge. Razors. Cuts. Blood. Release.
"You don't even know where Pryor is," Mom said. "You couldn't find it on a map. And how do you think you'll pay for this trip? You're not getting the money from us."
"I'm not asking you for it," I said. "I have some money saved up. If I have to, I'll borrow from my friends."
"I'll take you," Pauline said. "We'll fly down together. I'll pay."
"Pauline," Curt said.
"Terri, I know you want what's best for Willa," Pauline said. "We all do. But I see things differently from the rest of you. My father died in the war when I was just a baby. Everybody told me about him, what a hero he was. But there's a part of me that's missing, even now, seventy years later, because I didn't get to know the man, the real man. All I knew was the hero, and now all Willa knows is the demon." She paused for a moment, then reached out her hand and touched Jack. "I know you love Willa," she said, "but you have to accept that she isn't your daughter. And Terri, I know you ran away from Dwayne, from Pryor, and that took great courage. But Willa needs to see where she came from. Please, this time, put Willa's needs first."
Mom's face contorted. "All I wanted was to get you away from there," she said to me. "And now you say you have to go back?"
"You got me away," I said. "I'm alive because you got me away. Let me say goodbye to my sisters. They didn't have you. They didn't get away."
I've seen Mom cry before. I've seen her cry at sappy movies on TV, and I've seen her cry tears of pride for me, for Brooke, for Alyssa. I saw her cry on her tenth anniversary, when Jack gave her the diamond ring he couldn't afford before they got married. I saw her cry when she told me her parents had died in a car crash.
I wanted to comfort her, but I couldn't. If she looked at me, she wouldn't see me. She'd see Dwayne and Pryor and everything she'd tried so hard to forget.
"If you want, I can stay with Willa," Pauline said to Jack.
"No," I said. "No, please, Pauline. I can't worry about you while I'm there. Faye'll look after me."
"Well, I'll travel with you," Pauline said. "After you're settled in, I'll go to Santa Fe. I have friends there I haven't seen in a long time. When you're ready to go home, I'll come get you."
"Are you sure?" Jack asked. "It's a big imposition."
"I'm sure," Pauline said. "Curt and I are going to go home now, and the three of you can figure things out. I'll find the best route to Pryor and make the arrangements. We can go tomorrow. Jack, if you call the police, you can tell them I'll be stopping at your house to pack some things for the trip."
"Thank you," I said.
"There are four people in this room who love you, Willa," Pauline said. "Don't you ever forget that."
"I won't," I said, because I knew that was what I was supposed to say. And the Willa Coffey who had existed until two days ago always said and did what she was supposed to.
Part Two
[Pryor]
Ten
FAYE OPENED THE DOOR and folded me in her arms. I stood there, shaking uncontrollably, half laughing, half crying, swallowed by her embrace, and feeling, finally, that I was home.
Pauline gave me enough time to pull myself together, and then she introduced herself. Faye knew Pauline would be bringing me, and for a moment I thought she'd hug her as well, but instead she held her hand out, and the two women shook hands and exchanged looks.
I love Willa, each one said with her eyes, and once they both knew it, their smiles became genuine and affectionate.
"I forgot to ask if you're allergic to cats," Faye said as she helped us carry our bags in. "I sure hope you're not, because I've got three of them."
We shook our heads.
"Good," Faye said. "Larry spends most of his time outside, and Curly spends most of his time upstairs, but Moe is a people-person kind of a cat."
A large orange cat proved Faye's point by ramming his head into my ankle. I bent down and patted his head and was rewarded with a purr. It was the sweetest sound I'd heard in days.
"How was the trip?" Faye asked, leading us to her living room. "Are you hungry? I have a snack prepared in case. Would you like something to drink? Tea? Beer? Soda?"
"A beer sounds wonderful," Pauline said.
"My kind of woman," Faye said. "Some ginger ale for you, sweetie?"
"That would be great," I said.
Faye went into her kitchen and came back with two bottles of beer and one of ginger ale. "Sit down," she instructed us. "Anyplace Moe lets you."
We took seats. Moe checked us all out and settled for Faye's lap.
"He knows who feeds him," Faye said, rubbing his head affectionately. "You were saying how the trip was."
"Long," Pauline said. "But we made all our connections and the rental car was waiting for us, so we can't complain."
"I don't see why not," Faye said. "I complain about most anything. Never occurred to me you need a reason."
Pauline laughed. "This may be the best beer I've ever had," she said. "But two more swallows and I'm going to be out."
Faye nodded. "Your bodies are telling you it's an hour later than the clock," she said. "Willa, sweetie, I've got the spare room all set for you. And Pauline, you get my bedroom for the night."
"Oh, I don't want to put you out," Pauline said. "I could stay in a motel."
"There're no empty motel rooms for thirty miles," Faye said. "The reporters are like vultures."
I worried that Pauline would be offended, but instead she laughed. "I'm an old retired reporter myself," she said. "And we certainly can be vultures. But I still don't want to put you out of your bedroom."
"You're not," Faye sai
d. "I sleep on the living room couch most nights anyway."
"I should call Mom," I said. "I told her I'd call when we got here."
"Why don't I show you your room?" Faye suggested. "You can call from there."
I followed Faye upstairs. It wasn't until I saw the twin bed, carefully made up with pillows and an old patchwork quilt, that I realized just how tired I was.
"This is my grandma's house," Faye said. "Everything got left here, including me. I dug through the attic this morning and found those old yearbooks. I thought you might like looking through them, so I left them on the night table."
"Thank you," I said. "Are there pictures of Mom in there?"
Faye nodded. "And of Budge," she said. "He was in my sister's class in school, so I have those yearbooks too."
I had a thousand questions, but I knew I was too tired to hear any of the answers. "Thank you, Faye," I said. "For letting me stay here. For everything."
Faye hugged me again. "Call Terri and get some sleep," she said. "The bathroom's down the hall, and I left the night-light on. Don't be surprised if Curly ends up on the bed with you. He's probably in the closet right now. He thinks this is his room."
"I'll like it if he does," I said. "Thanks again, Faye. I'll see you in the morning."
Faye gave me a long look, but then she kissed me good night and left me alone. I called Mom's cell and I got her voice mail, so I called Jack.
"Terri's sleeping," he told me.
I'd spoken to Mom while Pauline was doing the paperwork for the rental car in Amarillo. Still, it seemed odd that she hadn't stayed up for another couple of hours to make sure I'd arrived at Faye's. Either she was still angry at me for my trip to Pryor or the sedatives she was taking had kicked in.
"I'll talk to her tomorrow," I said.
"You could come home tomorrow," Jack said. "And talk to her in person."
"My sisters died," I said. "I'm staying for their funeral."
"Your sisters live in your home," Jack said. "Here in Westbridge. I want to make sure you understand that, pumpkin. We're your family—your mother, Brooke, Alyssa, me. Nothing is ever going to change that."