Page 42 of Rebel Angels


  “We are to be married come May,” she says, smiling as if her face could break from joy.

  We fawn over the ring and our teacher, peppering her with questions: How did he ask for her hand? When will they marry? May we all attend? It should be a London wedding— no, a country wedding! For luck, will she wear orange blossoms? Will she wear them in her hair or embroidered upon her dress?

  “It is remarkable to think that even an old spinster such as I can find happiness,” she says, laughing, but then I catch her straightening the third finger of her left hand. She’s looking at the ring without wanting to seem as dazzled by it as she is.

  On the first Wednesday of the new year, we make our pilgrimage to Pippa’s altar. We sit at the base of the old oak, watching for signs of spring, though we know they are months away yet.

  “I’ve written Tom and told him the truth,” Ann says.

  “And?” Felicity prompts.

  “He did not like being misled. He said that I was a horrible girl to have pretended to be someone I’m not.”

  “I am sorry, Ann,” I say.

  “Well, I think he is a boor and a poor sport besides,” Felicity claims.

  “No, he’s not. He had every right to be cross with me.”

  There is nothing I can say to this. She is right.

  “In books, the truth makes everything good and fine. The good prevail. The wicked are punished. There is happiness. But it’s not like that really, is it?”

  “No,” I say. "I suppose it only makes everything known.”

  We lean our heads back against the tree and look up at the puffy, white clouds.

  “Why bother with it at all, then?” Ann says.

  A cloud castle floats lazily by, becoming a dog in the process.

  “Because you can’t keep up the illusion forever,” I say. “No one has that much magic.”

  For a long while, we sit, saying nothing. No one attempts to hold hands or tell a merry joke, to talk of what has happened or what is to come. We simply sit, our backs to the tree, our shoulders grazing one another. It is the lightest of touches and yet it is enough to weight me to the earth.

  And for a moment, I understand that I have friends on this lonely path, that sometimes your place is not something you find, but something you have when you need it.

  The wind picks up. It sends the leaves scurrying for cover until a softer breeze blows through, settling them down again as if to say, Shhh, there, there, it’s all right. One leaf still dances in the air. It spins higher and higher, defying gravity and logic, stretching for something just out of reach. It shall have to fall, of course. Eventually. But for now, I hold my breath, willing it to keep going, taking comfort in its struggle.

  Another gust blows. The leaf is carried toward the horizon on the wind’s powerful wings. I watch till it becomes a line and then a speck. I watch until I can’t see anything, until the path it has traveled is erased by a sudden flurry of new leaves.

  READING GROUP

  Questions for Discussion

  Gemma has grown up in many ways since the beginning chapter of A Great and Terrible Beauty. What do you think was the most influential factor in her growth? How would you have handled the many challenges she has faced?

  How does opening the book with Kartik’s point of view modify the reader’s opinion of his character? Kartik is caught between a rock and a hard place, forced to choose between the brotherhood he has always known and an uncertain outcome with Gemma. If you were Kartik, would you make the same choices he does? Why or why not?

  Gemma is an orphan of sorts—her mother is dead, and her father is lost to her because of his opium addiction. Which would be more challenging—to be an actual orphan, as Ann is, or a virtual orphan, like Gemma?

  The question of evil—and what is right or wrong—lies at the heart of Gemma’s story. On page 278 of Rebel Angels, Miss Moore asks Gemma, Felicity, and Ann, “What if evil doesn’t really exist? What if evil is something dreamed up by man, and there is nothing to struggle against except our own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices?” What is she suggesting? How do her later actions counter these questions—or do they? How do the girls interpret Miss Moore’s lesson in light of what they’ve learned in the realms, and what they know lies ahead of them?

  Gemma, Felicity, Pippa, and Ann each have their share of secrets—some kept from each other, and many more kept from those around them. What does Gemma mean when she asks, “Why is it that some secrets can drown you while some pull you close to others in a way you never want to lose?” (page 411). Which secrets could drown the girls?

  Bethlem Royal Hospital, known as Bedlam, was an insane asylum. How does contemporary society differ from Victorian society in its treatment of patients with psychiatric disorders? How would someone like Nell Hawkins be treated today?

  Tom and Gemma work together to hide their father’s addiction in order to protect their family’s reputation. Does Tom now consider his sister his equal? Or will he continue to view her according to the conventions of Victorian society? How do you think Simon Middleton would feel about Gemma’s visit to the opium den?

  What does Gemma mean when she says, “I bind the magic in the name of all who shall share the power one day. For I am the Temple; the magic lives in me” (page 529)? What burdens do you expect this position will place on her in the future— burdens laid on her by her friends, as well as by the other creatures of the realms who want to share the power?

  On page 394, Felicity tells Gemma, “I hate it when you’re this way. Someday, I shall have my own power, and then I will enter the realms any time I please.” What type of power is Felicity looking for? Does she have any real power already? How can she achieve the power she seeks?

  Gemma and Kartik’s complicated relationship in Rebel Angels brings up a discussion of caste (page 375). Kartik believes that fate determines one’s caste, while Gemma questions whether one’s choices can change one’s fate, and therefore one’s caste. Which do you think determines caste—fate or choice? Is it possible to change your caste? Is there a difference between caste and class?

  Each teacher at Spence Academy offers Gemma a new world. Mrs. Nightwing presents a world in which young girls are groomed to take their proper place in society. Miss McCleethy’s world would restore the power and grandeur of the Order. And Miss Moore offers a world that rejects both the social norms Mrs. Nightwing teaches and the Order’s laws as to the power of the realms. Why does Gemma reject all three of these worlds? What type of world does she expect or hope to build with her friends, using the power of the realms? Do you think that type of world will be successful or even possible? Why or why not?

  As Pippa flees for the Winterlands, Gemma thinks, “Someday, we will meet again, not as friends, but as enemies” (page 530). What do you think Gemma expects to happen?

  If you could sit down for an hour with Libba Bray, what would you ask her to include in the third book about Gemma? Which characters would you like her to bring back, and why? Should Gemma become romantically involved with Kartik or not?

  IN HER OWN WORDS

  A Conversation with Libba Bray

  Q: On page 547, Gemma says, “And for a moment, I understand that I have friends on this lonely path, that sometimes your place is not something you find, but something you have when you need it.” What does she mean by this? Have the girls and their friendships changed from what you originally envisioned?

  A: It’s great that on the page, just as in life, people and relationships can evolve and surprise you. Originally, I thought Felicity would become evil. I thought Ann might become evil. (Oh, I thought they’d all be evil. Evil, evil, evil. Mwhahahahaha!) I thought Pippa was deader than a doornail. Surprise! I really wanted their friendships to deepen and become more complicated. I wanted to discover the backstory on everyone. As for the comment on page 547, I suppose I meant that we are often searching, searching, searching for that “thing” that will make everything better
. Searching for happiness and a sense of belonging. We’re constantly trying to make a connection. And sometimes, the connection is already there. It’s just a matter of our recognizing it and trusting it.

  Q: Both A Great and Terrible Beauty and Rebel Angels have become New York Times bestsellers. How has this success affected your approach to writing the third book, or any other projects you’ll be working on in the future?

  A: I have much better shoes. What, me worry? No, I’m not TOTALLY FREAKING OUT; I always sit staring at my computer quietly twisting my hair and mumbling. Um, yeah. Wee bit of pressure. You know, it’s a double-edged sword: It is wonderful and gratifying and inspiring, and that gives me a great deal of joy going forward. But it also adds to the expectation. You know, book three shouldn’t just be a good book; it should BLOW THE OTHER TWO OUT OF THE WATER! It needs to DAZZLE! DELIGHT! ASTOUND! This usually results in a lot of eating of bad food and the obsessive rearranging of songs on my iPod. Not so productive. Eventually, I get over myself and just get back to the writing. Because at the end of the day, if I’m not into it and having fun, nobody else will be. Fortunately, I also have other books lined up and ideas pinging around in my head going, “Oooh! Me! Pick me next!” And I’m looking forward to working on the little buggers.

  Q: On page 375, Gemma and Kartik have a debate about destiny versus choice. Gemma asks, “But how can you be sure that you are following the right course? What if there is no such thing as destiny, only choice?” Many of the other characters offer their own opinions on this debate in both books. What are your thoughts on choice versus destiny?

  A: Wow. You didn’t go for the softball questions here, did you? What about “So we’re wondering: bangs or no bangs? Peanut or plain? Paper or plastic?” No, you went for the whole Matrix-Philosophy-Jujitsu-with-a-Side-of-Fries Bidness. Hold up. This is going to require more coffee. [Sipping sounds.] Okay. I think it’s one of those questions you can play out over pizza with your friends until two o’clock in the morning when someone finally says, “Dude, can’t we just watch MTV?” The belief in destiny can lend a certain credence and, perhaps, romance to your choices. “We were meant to be together.” “It was supposed to happen this way.” “God moves in strange and mysterious ways.” Hey, who wouldn’t want to hang their hat on that? It can ease pain or grief to think that there is some master plan at work, and that’s why things have occurred as they have. But what if there isn’t a master plan at work? I’ve seen people use the idea of destiny or fate as a crutch. It can be a way of avoiding responsibility. It can keep people from questioning policies. It can be a way of not dealing. At its worst, it can be misused through extremism in religion or politics as a way of denying people rights or justifying terrible acts: “This is God’s will.”

  Fate versus destiny. Who knows? The universe is vast and there are many wonderful mysteries, and I, personally, am comfortable with that. But I think you have to be an active participant in your life, and that means making choices that feel right with who you are and what you believe. I’m a big believer in shaping your own life to the extent that you can. And, hey, if you want to split the difference, you can always subscribe to chaos theory, in which every choice or circumstance affects something else—a butterfly flaps its wings in South America, and Chicago gets snow—and so every choice becomes a sort of fate, as I understand it. Theoretical physics. What a kick. Talk amongst yourselves.

  Q: The end of Rebel Angels leaves us with a sense that the third book will depict a fierce struggle for power. Have any of the characters become more or less powerful than you originally imagined them? For some of the characters, it’s the nature of their power that has changed. Out of all the struggles for power you present in the story, which do you think is the most important?

  A: Self-knowledge is the most important struggle, and it is a journey that never ends. The more you can understand yourself (the good, the bad, the ugly), the more you understand human nature—the more empathetic and compassionate you become, and, though it sounds paradoxical, the less self-sacrificing.

  My hope is that each of the characters comes to a greater understanding of herself—or himself, in the case of Kartik. If you feel you have a voice, if you don’t feel powerless, you’re less likely to act out in frustration and rage and hopelessness. You’re likely to feel less threatened and more willing to listen to other people’s voices as well. And that, my friend, wouldn’t make the world a perfect place, but it’s a decent place to start.

  Q: What is the most rewarding part of being a successful author? What is the most challenging?

  A: Oh, that crazy paparazzo dogging my every step. What a pain. If I see one more picture of me in oversized sunglasses, carrying a small dog in a large purse while drinking out of an extra-strength Starbucks cup next to my Greek-shipping-magnate boy du jour . . . oh, wait. That’s not actually me. Sorry. My bad.

  I’m tempted to say (a) It’s the writing and (b) It’s the writing. It’s great that I get to do what I love for a living. Really, I pinch myself daily. The success of A Great and Terrible Beauty and Rebel Angels has given me a smidge more confidence about the writing, like, “Hey, wow, there must be a lot of weird people out there besides me! Cool!” And I love it when I hear from people who say they enjoyed the books and that it made them want to write. The challenges are the same, whether you’ve sold one book or one million. You’ve still got to get the right words down on paper. The lack of time is a toughie. I feel terrible when I can’t personally respond to every post on my live journal, because somebody took the time to post something there, and I want them to know they’ve been heard. (I do read everything.) But it’s getting increasingly difficult to do that and still write and meet the other demands of both the career and my personal life. So that’s a bummer to me. So, yeah, time. If I could give up sleep, I’d get so much done. Oh, that’s a big lie. I’d just have lots of useless products ordered from infomercials at 3:00 a.m.

  Q: As the reader watches Gemma grow up and face many challenges, it’s clear that she’s the type of girl who won’t let social norms and expectations stand in her way—she plays by her own rules. Do you think society today still has expectations of girls that aim to limit them? How would you advise girls today on accepting or rejecting social standards?

  A: I definitely think there are still such expectations. A man who gets around is called a playboy; a woman who does that is called a slut. A man who makes his own rules is called a maverick; a woman is usually called difficult. When men fight, it’s a throwdown; when women do, it’s a catfight. I remember reading some article about a model from Brazil, and the paper referred to another model from Brazil as her rival. And I thought, Hmmm, wouldn’t she be her colleague or fellow model or countrywoman? Why “rival”? Words can shape our reality. It helps to be aware of that.

  I think there is still a fear of the strong woman in this culture, and that is why we are seeing this insidious cultural shift away from many of the strides toward independence and equality that have been made in the past thirty years. I think there is a huge, huge emphasis on looks today that is just completely unrealistic and limits girls. (Not that corsets were a realistic standard of beauty, either . . .) Call me wacky, but I think it’s much healthier and empowering to be able to run or sing or play soccer or do theater or make art or read and think than it is to be able to fit into a size 0. And if you can fit into a size 0, does that mean you cease to exist? Just wondering.

  These limitations are reinforced by our culture, but we, as women, also play along. And it would be good for us to stop doing that, to stop that relentless comparison and self-flagellation and start enjoying who we are and what we bring to the table. I remember reading a quote somewhere that said, “How much more could women accomplish if they didn’t spend so much time trying to fix themselves?” That really made me stop and think. I think we need to stop operating as if there is something wrong with us, as if what we have to say needs to be prefaced by “Um” or “I’m sorry” or “This is pr
obably stupid but” or some other words that communicate our lack of faith in our own power. Own it, man. It’s all you and it’s all good. And if you find out you’re wrong, well, so what? Own that, too. But I think you first have to get comfortable with the idea that when you go your own way, people may dislike you for it. And you have to be able to tolerate that.

  Q: Describe sixteen-year-old Libba in five words or phrases, and then describe yourself today. What has changed that you miss? What advice would you offer sixteen-year-old Libba, and what would you like to be reminded of more often by that version of yourself?

  A: Is this the part of the interview where you make the author get all misty? For real, can you offer me a muffin and a tissue? Wow, this is very Oprah of you.

  The sixteen-year-old Libba was zany, impulsive, sarcastic, insecure, and very quick to play the clown in order to deflect emotion. (Also, I was hopeless in the dating department. That, of course, would be six words or phrases, not five. But just so you know.) Today, I would say that I am witty, compassionate, more engaged in real life, and much more comfortable with myself and with whatever life throws my way. I don’t try to “take away” uncomfortable feelings. I still get the urge, like Gemma, to fix things, to make them all better, but I’m better able to see it for what it is and let it go. I miss the crazy, romantic dreamer aspect of my sixteen-year-old self, and, yeah, okay, sometimes I miss the fearless wild child part of me. (She’s still there; she’s just not quite as reckless. And she no longer tries to cut her own hair.) As for advice—besides don’t do a home perm three days before the junior prom—I’d want to tell the sixteen-year-old me to own her power a bit more, to believe in herself, to see lots of bands, kiss more boys, study for the SAT, spend more time with Dad because he won’t be around forever, be honest, road-trip, make art, buy the bass and the amp from David, learn French, read everything, start a band, listen closely to your best friends because they will be your friends for the rest of your life, keep tap-dancing, stop making other people happy at your own expense, floss, don’t trust Jeannie when she says she knows where she’s going and your mom will never find out, go backstage, sing out, wear your seat belt, visit your grandparents and ask them to tell their stories again, WEAR SUNSCREEN!!!, burn the leopard-print one-piece, ditto the Devo-inspired jumpsuit and the rock star headband, tell Mom you would rather gnaw through your own entrails than wear an ultra-preppy dirndl skirt on Easter, stop worrying about your hair (it’s fine), know that 151-proof rum is not your friend, tell Willa Mae Burlage thank you, don’t run through the pain, quit the Sonic job, eat everything, enjoy the fireflies, ride your bike, learn to skateboard, tell the mean girls to shove it, go looking for the Hog Man, go to Europe, go for broke, ignore this advice.