"Oh, Keiko, I'm sorry," Mrs. Pidgeon said. "I should have explained that I meant the orange to be the earth"
"Like Gooney Bird's LOVE YOUR MOTHER T-shirt, with the picture of the earth on it?" Keiko asked.
"Just like that," the teacher said with a smile. "What line goes around the middle of the earth?" she asked.
Malcolm leaped from his chair. "I know! I know! The equator!" he shouted.
The other children all nodded, remembering. "Equator," they said. "Equator."
"Right! And the closer you are to the equator, the warmer it will be. Hawaii is closer to the equator than Vermont. So Hawaii—"
"—is very, very warm," Barry pointed out. "That's why I'll be surfing, and people in Vermont will be—"
"Snowboarding!" Ben said. "Which is way cooler than lying on a beach!"
"Excuse me," Beanie announced, "but in Orlando, Florida, where I will just happen to be on my vacation, the weather will be—"
Mrs. Pidgeon sighed. "Thanks, Keiko," she said, and gave the orange back.
Beanie, Ben, and Barry continued to argue over who was going to the best vacation spot. The other children were all silent.
"Could William Henry Harrison snowboard?" Malcolm asked Gooney Bird. She shook her head no.
"Or surf?" asked Nicholas.
Gooney Bird shook her head again. "No," she said. "I think on vacations he just stayed home and had nice times with his family. Probably he went to the library."
"Or bowling," Chelsea suggested.
"I bet he played Scrabble," Felicia Ann suggested.
"Those are all good things to do on vacation," Keiko said in a small voice.
Mrs. Pidgeon folded her paper napkin and gathered her trash. "Yes," she said. "They certainly are." She leaned back in her chair and tossed her lunch remains into the trash can.
"Good shot," said Nicholas.
"Well, of course! My heart said, U Go, Girl" Mrs. Pidgeon pointed out.
"Everybody finished with lunch?" she asked the students. They nodded.
"And dessert? Did you eat your candy hearts?"
But the children shook their heads. They had all saved their valentine hearts carefully.
"Okay, then, I'll save mine, too," said Mrs. Pidgeon. She put her heart into the pocket of her jacket. "And now," she told them, "I'll pull down the map of the United States, and—"
"We didn't finish our math worksheets yesterday," Chelsea pointed out. "Subtraction. If one person has sixteen candy hearts and another person is very grabby and grabs five candy hearts—"
"Yes, or one person has fifty-three Oreos?" Nicholas suggested. "And then—"
"Who would have fifty-three Oreos?" Tyrone interrupted. "Nobody!" Nicholas punched him.
"Children, children, children," Mrs. Pidgeon said. She moved between the two boys and separated them.
"You said we had to have our worksheets done by the end of school yesterday," Chelsea pointed out.
Mrs. Pidgeon sighed. "Well, that's true. I did. Maybe—" she said.
"Mrs. Pidgeon?" It was Gooney Bird.
"Yes?"
"Remember I had an idea starting, and it was just in small pieces? Well, I've put it together. It's a completely ready idea now."
The second-graders all grinned with excitement. They always did when Gooney Bird had an idea.
3.
"In a minute," Gooney Bird said. "I'll tell you my idea in a minute, after Mrs. Pidgeon finishes explaining about the equator."
Several pull-down maps were rolled tight at the top of the chalkboard. "There are six maps here," Mrs. Pidgeon said. "But I'm just pulling down one at the moment. How many maps are still rolled up?"
The children groaned. "Five! That's so easy!" Nicholas called.
"Correct. Six minus one equals five." The teacher pulled down a map that showed the entire world, even Antarctica (Barry Tucker man always liked to point out Antarctica). Once, Keiko had gone to this map with the pointer and shown the class Yokohama, the city in Japan that had at one time been her grandparents' home.
They all knew how to find Italy, which was easy because it was shaped like a boot. And they had found Australia on the map when they had been talking about koala bears and kangaroos not long before.
They could also find all of those things on the round globe that sat on top of the bookcase, near the hamster cage. But the pulleddown map was easier for the class to see. Now the children sat at their desks and looked carefully when Mrs. Pidgeon aimed the tip of the pointer at a faint line across the center of the map. As she moved it slowly back and forth, they could see that the line went all the way across, even through the blue of the oceans.
"Equator!" called out Barry Tuckerman.
"Correct, Whiz Kid!" said Mrs. Pidgeon.
"It goes through Africa!" Ben pointed out.
"And South America!" Tricia said loudly.
"How come the USA doesn't get any piece of equator?" Tyrone grumbled. "No fair."
"Well, the United States has a lot of other good things," Mrs. Pidgeon pointed out.
"Yeah, it has Disney World!" Beanie said happily.
"You'll have to wear dumb mouse ears," Malcolm said, but Beanie only grinned.
"And it has Sugarbush, Vermont!" added Ben.
"You'll freeze," Malcolm told him. "You'll get frostbite and your toes will turn black." But Ben just laughed.
"It has Hawaii!" Barry Tuckerman shouted. "Fiftieth state in the United States! Capital: Honolulu! Wait'll you see pictures of me surfing!"
"A shark will probably eat you," Malcolm said gloomily. "Or at least bite a leg off."
"Goodness, Malcolm, what's wrong? Why are you so gloomy? Aren't you looking forward to vacation?" asked Mrs. Pidgeon.
"No. We can't go anyplace because of the babies. Hey, I have an easy math problem. What if there are six people in a family, and three of them disappear?"
Everyone groaned. The baby triplets at Malcolm's house did make life difficult for his family.
"Maybe you could go to the park," Keiko suggested. "I know your mom has that huge stroller."
"In February?" Malcolm asked. "The park in February?"
"Well, maybe not," Keiko acknowledged.
"Announcement!" said Gooney Bird loudly. She stood up. Everyone listened.
"We all feel sorry for Malcolm because of those babies. But William Henry Harrison and his wife had ten children," Gooney Bird told the class in a serious voice. "That's spelled T-E-N. Ten. Moment of silence."
The room was very still. Malcolm's expression brightened a little. The announcement had made him feel a little better.
Mrs. Pidgeon let the world map go and it rolled itself up with a snap. Next she pulled down the map of the United States.
"Well," she said, "I just wanted to point out how far different places are from the equator and why some are colder than others. You see that there are other lines across the map? Those are the latitude lines. Let's find Vermont, where Ben is going skiing on vacation."
"Snowboarding," Ben corrected her.
"It's up here, in the northeast United States." She pointed. Then she leaned forward and looked carefully. "The equator is zero degrees and Vermont is about forty-four degrees north of the equator.
"Now let's find Hawaii, where Barry will be swimming."
"Surfing!" said Barry loudly.
Mrs. Pidgeon sighed. "Anyway, it's way over here to the west. See, beyond California, out in the Pacific Ocean?" She pointed and looked closely again. "Looks as if Hawaii is about eighteen degrees above the equator. Which is farther from zero, class: forty-four or eighteen?"
"Forty-four," everyone agreed.
"My dad is forty-four," Malcolm announced.
"My mom is thirty-four," said Tricia.
"My mom is—" Felicia Ann began.
"Class?" said Mrs. Pidgeon. "You're right that forty-four is much farther from zero than eighteen. I wonder how much farther! I have a feeling we might have a math problem here. We need to do some subtracti
on!"
"My mom says that when she's forty she's not going to tell anybody," Chelsea announced. "She's going to be thirty-nine forever!"
"Forty minus thirty-nine equals one," Barry Tuckerman pointed out.
"But what about her driver's license?" Tyrone said. "It'll say forty on her driver's license! You can't lie to the po-leece!"
Mrs. Pidgeon took a deep breath. "Let's think about the number forty-four, class," she said. "It would be how many tens, and how many ones?"
"Lie to the cops and they bust you in the chops,"Tyrone chanted.
"Bust you in the chops!"the other children echoed. Malcolm stood and began to dance. Ben threw a fake punch at Nicholas.
Mrs. Pidgeon put down the pointer. She pulled the little string that made the map recurl itself. She looked frustrated. "In your seats with your hands folded, please!" She said loudly. "Right this minute!" The children obeyed quickly.
"I didn't get to see how far Disney World is from the equator!" muttered Beanie.
"Everybody!" It was Gooney Bird's voice. She raised her hand, and Mrs. Pidgeon nodded at her.
"Is it time for your idea, Gooney Bird?" asked Felicia Ann.
"Yes," Gooney Bird said.
The children waited and listened.
"But first I have to get permission from the principal," Gooney Bird said. "Mrs. Pidgeon, is it okay if I go see Mr. Leroy for a minute?"
Mrs. Pidgeon nodded. "Yes, but if I were you, I think I'd take off the tiara. I don't think Mr. Leroy has ever fully understood your sense of style the way the rest of us do."
"I agree." Gooney Bird reached up and removed the tiara from her red hair. "Anyway, it's a good plan to look businesslike when you are conducting business. I'm going to wear gloves. I always wear gloves for serious meetings."
She went to her cubby, stored her tiara there, and pulled on a pair of white gloves that had been folded on the shelf.
The children didn't think her appearance unusual. It was just typical Gooney Bird, and they were used to it.
She stopped at the door of the classroom and smoothed the fingers of her gloves. "How do I look?" she asked.
"Trés Chic!" the second-graders all said loudly.
"Good. May I take Mr. Leroy a heart?" she sked. Mrs. Pidgeon held out the small bag of candies, and Gooney Bird selected one."U Da Man"she read. "He'll like that. I'll be right back," she said.
At the door she looked back and added, "William Henry Harrison never once in his life snowboarded or surfed or wore mouse ears. Moment of silence."
The class became quiet. They could hear the door open and close as Gooney Bird headed out on her visit to the principal.
"Mr. Leroy says yes!" Gooney Bird announced when she returned. Carefully she removed her gloves, folded them neatly, and put them back into her cubby. "He is definitely Da Man."
"Yay!" the children all called. "Awesome!" They clapped and cheered. Then Barry Tuckerman asked, "What did he say yes to?"
"He donated a piece of land to us," Gooney Bird said, "at my request."
"A piece of land?" asked Mrs. Pidgeon.
"Yes. You know that corner of the playground where in good weather there's a seesaw but they take it down for winter?"
Mrs. Pidgeon nodded. She looked through the window. "My goodness! There's Mr. Furillo out there! What's he doing?"
All of the children began to stand up. They wanted to see what the school custodian was doing. Ordinarily he was inside the building, emptying the trash cans, mopping the halls (sometimes he had to clean up throwup, usually in the kindergarten, but he said he didn't mind), and fixing broken things such as pencil sharpeners and towel dispensers.
"Stay seated, children," Mrs. Pidgeon said. She shaded her eyes against the sun with one hand and peered through the window. "It's all packed snow out there. I'm glad he has his warm boots on. He seems to have something in his hand, like a spray can? Yes. A spray can of paint! He's painting a line on the snow!"
"Our borders!" Gooney Bird explained. "Inside that line is our territory. Mr. Leroy donated it to us until vacation."
"But what's it for, Gooney Bird?" asked Mrs. Pidgeon.
Gooney Bird hummed a melody very loudly.
"'This Land Is Your Land'!" called Chelsea, recognizing the tune.
"You got it!" said Gooney Bird. "We're going to make us a map from California to the New York island!"
"How?" several children asked. "It's all snowy out there!"
"Ever made sculpture out of sand, on the beach?"
They all nodded. "Sandcastles," Keiko said.
"I built a monster once," Nicholas said, "with tentacles."
"Well, this will be like that, only out of snow," Gooney Bird explained.
"Well! This sounds exciting! Outdoor clothes, everyone!" Mrs. Pidgeon announced.
The children moved toward the hooks that held their jackets.
"Mrs. Pidgeon?" Gooney Bird asked. "Could you bring a map? I know the pull-down one is too big. But do you maybe have a book with a USA map in it?"
"Oh, yes, I'm sure I do." Mrs. Pidgeon went to the bookcase.
"Good. Bring that. And, everybody?" Gooney Bird added, pulling on her boots. "Be prepared to tell us your vacation plans. Every single one of you. Even you, Malcolm." Malcolm scowled.
"Why?" asked Keiko as she wrapped her pink scarf around her neck.
"Because we're going to put us all on the map!"
4.
"Don't get too close or wag your tail, Bruno, until the paint dries," Mr. Furillo warned his dog. The big Newfoundland was watching as the custodian finished drawing the spray-paint line around the huge rectangle of snow-packed playground.
"It wouldn't matter, Mr. Furillo," Nicholas said as the children approached the corner of the playground that Mr. Leroy had given them for the project. "The paint is black, and Bruno's tail is black. It wouldn't even show."
"Ah, but he'd use his tail as a paintbrush," Mr. Furillo explained. "He'd paint the halls inside the school!"
Fortunately, Bruno was very obedient, and very lazy. He simply lay down on the snow, his tail tucked under him, and watched while the custodian finished the last line. Mrs. Pidgeon and the children watched, too. "There you are!" Mr. Furillo said. "There's your official territory, all marked off. What do you think? Like it? Need anything else?"
"One more thing," Gooney Bird told him. "Is there still paint in the can?"
He shook it and listened. "Yep. Lots."
"Okay," Gooney Bird told him. "In this corner"—she pointed to the lower right corner of the huge rectangle—"could you make a big plus sign?"
"A plus sign?"
"Yes. You know what that looks like. Two plus two?"
"It's like the 'add' key on a calculator," Barry explained to him.
"Oh! Got it!" Mr. Furillo said. "Where do you want it? Right here okay?" he stood in the corner that Gooney Bird had pointed to. She nodded, and he sprayed carefully.
"Oops," he said. "A little wobbly."
"That's all right," Gooney Bird reassured him. "Now we need a letter at each of the four points. N, E, S, W Can you do that? The N goes at the top."
Mr. Furillo gazed at the plus sign, thinking. "I get it!" he said. "North, east, south, west!"
"Good for you, Mr. Furillo. That's exactly right."
Carefully he sprayed the letters onto the snow. The children all watched with interest. Bruno snored slightly.
Mr. Furillo stood back and looked. Bruno yawned, got up, stood beside him, yawned, and looked. Mrs. Pidgeon and all of the second-graders looked.
Everyone smiled.
"It's a real map!" Ben said.
"We're going to make a map of the United States inside our territory," Gooney Bird explained.
"I think I'm standing on Antarctica!" Barry Tuckerman said proudly, looking down at his own boots where they were planted on a mound of snow at the lower edge of the marked-off area.
"May I make a suggestion?" Mrs. Pidgeon asked.
"Of course," said
Gooney Bird.
"I think," Mrs. Pidgeon suggested, "that if Mr. Furillo sprayed a little arrowhead at the tip of each—"
"Gotcha!" Mr. Furillo said, and he went to work.
"Perfect! May we keep the paint can?" Gooney Bird asked Mr. Furillo. "Once we build our map, we might need to paint the borders."
Mr. Furillo hesitated. "Tell you what. How about if you tell me when you're ready and I'll spray the borders for you?" he asked. "I'll just wait over here."
"Yes, I think it's a good idea if Mr. Furillo is in charge of the spray paint," Mrs. Pidgeon said.
Gooney Bird agreed. "Okay," she said.
Mr. Furillo leaned against the playground fence and Bruno sat beside him. They watched while Mrs. Pidgeon, consulting the map in her book, used a ruler to carefully gouge the outline of a huge United States into the packed snow.
"Florida should be a little longer!" Beanie called. Mrs. Pidgeon looked again at the map, nodded, and lengthened Florida.
"Don't forget that we need the Hawaiian Islands!" Barry said loudly, pointing to the left-hand side of the map. "You can put them over there, out in the Pacific Ocean!"
Mrs. Pidgeon had finished the coast of California with her ruler, and now she stabbed out little circles to make Hawaii.
Ben was examining the top of the map. "See where Maine pokes up?" he said to the teacher. "You did a good job on Maine. But over there, you need a straighter line for the top of Vermont."
Mrs. Pidgeon examined the northeast United States, consulted the map, and sliced a straighter line where Ben was pointing.
Then she looked carefully at the map she had carved from the snow. "Gooney Bird? Everybody? What do you think?" She passed the geography book around. One by one the children compared the pictured map with the snow map. They nodded their heads.
"Excellent, Mrs. Pidgeon!" Gooney Bird said. "Good job!"
"U Go, Girl!" Keiko said with a giggle.
"Your turn, Mr. Furillo," Gooney Bird told the custodian. "You can spray the outline now."
"Be really, really careful on Hawaii," Barry said nervously. "It's quite small."