I waited for him to answer the door. He opened it, I looked at him and said, “Robert, I can’t take this anymore.”
“Yeah, uh, me too,” he said, excited. I wasn’t sure what he thought what was going to happen, but I guessed I might have led him on by coming over past midnight.
“Can we go inside and talk on your couch?” I asked.
“Yeah, of course.”
He opened the door and all the lights in his house were on. I kind of liked that. The mood felt safe.
Robert sat down at the end of his large white couch and I sat a good distance away from where he was sitting.
I looked over at him and he awkwardly waited for whatever I had to say, but he possessed a strength that was unmatched. Now I knew why, the ability to wield magic made him confident.
“Are you...,” I asked, “are you a warlock?”
Robert remained silent and looked at me with a horrified look on his face. So I asked him again. “Are you a warlock?”
Robert looked me in the eye and said, “I was.”
“You were one, but are no longer a warlock?”
“No. I haven’t completely denounced it, but I haven’t practiced any type of magic in quite some time. How do you know any of this? Only witches and other warlocks would know...wait a minute. Are you a...?”
“Yes and no,” I said.
“What do you mean, ‘yes and no’?”
“I became a witch while we were dating.”
Robert looked at me, shocked. “Are you messing with me, right now?” he asked.
“No, I am telling you the absolute truth, and actually, I’ve been trained by someone you know.”
“Who?”
“Paris.”
“Seriously? She trained you? You have no idea how freaked out I am that you gals know each other.”
“You’re freaked out? I’m freaked out. It makes no sense. I asked Paris for help in meeting the right guy. She chose you as much as I did. Now, I think she agreed because she knew you had something going on.”
“I find her logic a little strange. Paris knows I no longer practice the arts.”
“Robert, I know that you’re very powerful, but chose to discontinue your practice because of faith in a Creator.”
“Something like that,” Robert said. “I guess Paris and you have been doing some pillow talk.”
“Not pillow talk but we have been having heart to hearts.”
“She seriously thinks that I had potential as a boyfriend. Or as a warlock?”
“Not just potential, Robert. She told me you could be one of the very best.”
“At which?” Robert smiled and then his face got extremely serious. “Why are you here, saying all of this to me?”
“Well,” I said. “This wasn’t the only thing I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What’s the other thing?” Robert asked.
I looked at Robert and knew I was about to hurt him.
“Robert, Paris put us both under a truth spell. That is why we’ve been so open with one another. That is how we got close so quickly.”
“Oh, no. Seriously?”
“Yes,” I said.
“I knew something was always up when we were together.” He sighed heavily. “I have never shared the things in my life that I shared with you.”
“And you know what, Robert? You’re indeed a beautiful person.”
“But...” Robert said, sensing bad news was coming.
“I need to come clean. During our time together, you know, over the past three weeks? I’ve dated another man, but just dating, okay? I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“Wait. What? During the exact same three weeks?” Robert asked.
“I know it sounds really messed up, but it was such a random coincidence that I met two great guys at the same time.”
Robert gave me a sharp look because he was understanding what I had told him. Then that same sharp look turned into a hopeful one.
He looked elated, probably thinking I’d chosen him.
And it was breaking my heart, like stepping on a puppy dog’s face.
“I’ve decided to come clean—for both of you, and let the chips fall where they may. But I came here tonight to say, that um, we should no longer continue seeing each other.”
“Are you serious?” Robert asked.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m so sorry, Robert. I really am.”
Robert stood up and paced slowly around his living room. I could tell he was trying to come up with the right words.
“If you made your decision and you chose the other guy, then what’s done is done,” Robert said, trying to put on a strong face, but his voice even cracked on the word ‘guy’.
“Are you going to be okay?” Now, I was getting choked up. Here we were, two people whose hearts were breaking because we could no longer see each other and I really felt horrible. This was all my doing.
“Can I give you a hug?” I asked.
Robert nodded his head. I stood up and I hugged him real hard. It was hard. It was soft. It was intimate, too intimate for a man I was breaking up with. Was I making the right decision? I felt at home in Robert’s arms.
I let go of our embrace, and so did he. I couldn’t stay here any longer or this was going to kill me emotionally.
“One more thing,” I said. “Paris introduced me to the other guy. I only think it’s fair that you know that.”
“So I would hate her.”
“No,” I said. “She wanted to put what we had to the test by lining up a choice for me.”
“And I guess I failed your choice.”
“No, Robert. You passed with flying colors. I can only choose one man. You both have touched me in a way I never thought possible. Please know how much you mean to me.”
“Maybe we can still be friends,” Robert said. “I like who you are.” Robert got quiet and I could tell he was debating telling me something. Then he said, “I love who you are. I love you.”
“I know. That is why it will be hard to be friends. We both have feelings for each other and it’s not fair to anybody.”
“Okay,” Robert said. “Whatever you want.” Robert put on a strong smile. I gave him credit because tears were dripping from my eyes. This was killing me. He needed to know how much this was killing me.
“Robert, I care about you so much. You have touched my life in a way I never thought possible, but so has someone else.”
“I felt...love from you. It was real. Are you truly following your heart?” Robert asked.
I paused and took in Robert’s question and I simply said. “I think so.” My voice cracked and I knew I needed to go. “I’m going to go, Robert, okay?” I said.
“Of course. Drive home safe.” He did everything he could not to cry, but I saw tears drip from his eyes. Tears were already pouring down from my eyes. I was sure my mascara was completely running down my cheeks like black tears.
I nodded and went to his door and walked out to my car, Robert came out and made sure I was safe, just like he did the first time. He was such a great guy.
The second I hit the main highway, I thought I would feel excited; instead my heart was aching because I felt I had left it back with Robert. Tears began to drip from my eyes from the loss I was already feeling. Now I had to pullover and I got off on Harbor in the city of Fullerton. I went left and pulled into a parking lot that was in front of a Tony Romo’s rib joint. The restaurant seemed to be closing up shop with the employees going home. I parked my car and I waited I waited for everyone to leave until I was the sole car in the parking lot. I thought about Robert. I thought about what a pure heart he is. A gentle soul with lots of charisma. The depths of the man seemed unparalleled. Then something happened to me. I began to cry out loud. It was a bellowing cry. I can’t imagine now that I’ve gotten to know Robert and seeing how much we are alike. I can’t imagine ending the connection that was started. Was I being selfish? And I hadn’t even talked to Donovan yet.
I felt n
ervous. What if I told Donovan how I felt and he didn’t accept it? Or what if his affection for me was wrapped up in his truth spell?
Oh, no! Did I make the right decision?
I was already second-guessing myself.
Every time I played it out in my head, it was a mutual tie. Then how came I chose Donovan, was it because he was more appealing to the eyes.
I thought I was completely following my heart by going to Donovan’s tonight. Each time, I think about Robert being at his house alone and broken. The thought was all I could handle without bursting out in tears.
Chapter Thirty-nine