“And you, our special one? How are you coping? Are you still cold? I knew I should have smuggled in some tea,” Gaze murmured, turning her attention toward Alex. Her breath was becoming more labored, and Alex’s concern for her grew.
“I’ve been surrounded by magic for so long, my body doesn’t seem to notice it as much anymore,” he replied.
“And your powers?” she asked. “Any progress? I always knew you were capable of great things.”
He sighed. “It’s been getting me into more trouble than good, lately,” he admitted.
“Oh goodness, what on earth do you mean?”
“I had a bit of a mishap a short while ago,” he said vaguely.
“Mishap?” She frowned. “Big or small?”
“Big.” He grimaced.
“Go on,” she encouraged, her eyes flashing with worry.
“I think Alypia set me up. She put Jari in a fight, but made it so he was so weak he needed my help, and I ended up showing off my Spellbreaker powers in front of everyone,” he elaborated hesitantly, knowing how bad it sounded.
Gaze’s alarm was instant. “Then you must hurry your plans along, my little chickens! Oh goodness, people will be after you now—you aren’t safe anymore, Alex. There will be people seeking your power for their own uses, now that they know you exist. This is bad, very bad. Oh dear.” She shook her head, descending into anxious mumbling.
From Gaze, Alex didn’t mind hearing what he already knew.
Suddenly, her head snapped up, her eyes lucid. “And Elias? Did he make it out?” she asked. “He’s helping you, yes?”
It lasted only a moment before delirium reclaimed her, and she fell back to her mumbling. She spoke in hushed tones, her words wistful, but Alex caught fragments of what she was saying in her weary, broken state.
“So handsome… talented… one of the greatest, maybe the… I adored him once.” She smiled.
“Yes, I believe Elias escaped,” he assured her, though he didn’t know if she could hear him anymore.
Gaze’s words made him curious about how she had come to know about Elias. Searching his mind for a link, he came upon a memory of the mysterious portrait on the wall, with the engraved name torn off, and the strange teacher who had been watching a young Lintz and Derhin in the hallway of the flashback he’d seen, when he had plucked Derhin’s black bottle from the storage shelf. Was that Elias? Alex was suddenly intrigued. Gaze had spoken of Elias as if she knew him. If he had been a teacher, she would have been on the faculty at the same time as him, what with her being so much older than Lintz or Derhin. He found he had so many fresh questions for Gaze, but he knew he’d never get the chance to ask them as he glanced at the crumpled, huddled old woman. She was almost gone.
The memory of Lintz made Alex thoughtful. “Professor Gaze, what happened to Professor Lintz?” he asked.
She looked up at him, her eyes misty. “Oh, goodness… I don’t think he… Did he?” she said dimly, trailing off, her voice weak. “No… I’m not sure he could have.” Her answer was confused, her brow furrowed in uncertainty, though it soon smoothed out in an expression of quiet peace. She was close to the end now, Alex could tell; she had no more words to say.
Gathering around her world-weary frame, Alex let her rest her exhausted head on his shoulder as the two girls held her hands and Aamir sat on the floor in front of her. They stayed with her until the lights went out in her eyes. She fell asleep for the very last time with a smile upon her lips, and Alex felt a small, sad consolation that nobody would be able to tear her essence from her. It would go with her, sinking harmlessly into the earth where nobody could claim it as their own.
She could go peacefully to the place where there were eternal picnics on sun-soaked riverbanks, and all the handsome soldiers asked for her hand.
Chapter 35
“We have to go,” whispered Helena from the hallway, glancing anxiously toward the far end.
Alex looked up, grief-stricken. It didn’t feel right to leave Gaze all alone in the dank, dirty cell, resting up against the slick walls.
“We really have to go!” she insisted.
Forced to retreat, they stood and filed out of the prison cell, each bidding a murmured farewell to their former teacher, who had been strong until the bitter end. Alex felt an overwhelming swell of pride, interwoven with unbearable sadness, as he looked at her still form. A well-earned sleep, that was all; if he thought about it that way, it didn’t feel so desperately sad. She and Lintz had done so much for them, in helping them escape Spellshadow, and they had both ended up dead.
Even though Gaze had put on a brave face, Alex wished it hadn’t had to be that way. His mind rested briefly on the memory of Lintz too, feeling sorrow for the final sacrifice he had made against the Head, wielding his bombs and clockwork trickery. Although he hadn’t seen the body of Lintz with his own eyes, he had heard Gaze’s uncertainty as to the professor’s fate and knew it was unlikely he had made it out of that fight alive. They were both heroes until their final moments.
Helena turned the key quickly in the lock as her golden eyes flitted toward the shadows at the end of the long corridor. Beyond the flickering torches and dripping walls, Alex thought he could hear the scuffle of unseen feet. Brushing a tear from his cheek, he rested his palm against the wooden door, wishing Gaze nothing but sweet dreams, before they left her for the very last time.
As they walked, Alex could feel the tension in the air. Everyone was wary of Helena.
Though she didn’t seem to notice it for the first few minutes, Alex could see her slowly becoming aware of the strange atmosphere. There was no comfortable chatter, no easy humor, no jokes or divulged stories about the professor they had just seen; nobody was forthcoming with any kind of goodwill. Perhaps thinking it was because they were all feeling bereft, she continued to say nothing about it until they were almost at the door with the number forty-three written upon it.
“Have I done something?” she asked finally.
Alex held his tongue, not knowing if it was fair to tar Helena with the same brush as her mother. He needn’t have bothered to try to spare her feelings, however, as Natalie stepped forward, her mouth set in a grim line. It made sense that Natalie should feel betrayed; she had grown close to the girl, closer than any of them, and still Helena had kept her secret.
“Why did you not tell us who you were?” Natalie demanded. “Why did you keep such a secret from us?”
Alex heard the subtext in Natalie’s bitter words—why did you keep such a secret from me? He could see it in the glitter of her dark eyes, still rimmed with red from the tears she had shed over their beloved Gaze.
Helena looked crestfallen. “Believe me, I told no one about you. I haven’t breathed a word—not to my mother, not to anyone. I know you must find it hard to trust me, after learning who I am, but trust that I have been looking out for you all—all this time. It’s all I have wanted to do.” She stared down at her feet, scuffing the toe of her boot against the flagstones. The earnest note in her voice had returned, and it was hard not to believe her. Still, Alex could not suppress his suspicions about why she didn’t tell them who she was sooner, when she was someone of such importance. It seemed Natalie couldn’t suppress her doubts either.
“But why did you not tell us? If you had wanted us to trust you, you would have told us who you were,” she said, hurt bleeding into her words.
Helena looked up, her expression suddenly bold. “You honestly don’t see why? Any of you? I didn’t tell you because I wanted you to treat me like a normal, ordinary person. All my life people have tiptoed around me and wanted things from me. I just wanted you to know me—is that so hard to believe?” she said bitterly. “Besides, if I’d told you, you’d have run a mile! You’d never have spoken to me, let alone trusted me, if I’d told you the truth. I know you’d all like to believe you’re better than that, but the truth is… you aren’t. You know I’m right,” she sighed.
Alex could see the honesty in tha
t, and he wanted to believe in her, but he was no longer certain he could trust anyone or anything but himself. It brought to mind Aamir’s words. A secret is no longer a secret, once it is shared. The only way to keep a plan private was to tell no one. It was a hard truth he was finally coming to terms with, for himself as much as for the others; the only way to keep everyone safe was to hide the truth from them.
One good thing to come out of so much negativity was the knowledge that the evening’s events seemed to have snapped the others out of their happy-go-lucky trance. Alex could see that the dazed expressions and easy smiles had gone, replaced with a keen intent to break free once more, their focus restored by Gaze’s death and the secrecy of their closest ally. Sabotage was the order of the day, and they were all ready to get going. He had waited days to have them all on board with as much enthusiasm as he had. He only wished they had come to it a different way, without anyone having to die.
“I suppose I’d better go,” said Helena miserably. “I know you don’t want to, after what has happened, but you should get back to your rooms before the guards do their rounds… Please don’t think too badly of me. I’m still here to help you.”
With that thought playing on their minds, Helena left, disappearing into the darkness. It was the opportunity Alex had been waiting for, as he gathered everyone together in a huddle. If what Gaze said was right, about his actions in the arena meaning they were in graver, more immediate danger then he had believed, then they were running out of time. They no longer had the luxury of ambling happily through life at Stillwater. If they ever wanted to get out, it had to be soon. Still, he wasn’t sure tonight was the night to discuss a plan of action—his mind was foggy with grief, and he suspected the others would be in a similar state. They needed time to decompress and gather their thoughts, with Jari alongside them. He only hoped it could wait until tomorrow.
“We need to work quickly,” whispered Alex. “We should meet tomorrow, once lessons are over, and come up with our plan of action.”
“What about Helena?” asked Natalie. She was obviously still reluctant to leave out her friend, even after what she had admitted.
Alex shrugged. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. We may need her, but who knows how far we can trust her? Let’s keep her at arm’s length for now, and bring her in if and when we need to.”
The group nodded, satisfied with the idea.
“Shall I tell Jari?” asked Aamir. “I spoke to the medical mage today, who said they were going to discharge him tomorrow morning anyway. He’s supposed to be starting classes with you two.” He nodded toward Ellabell and Natalie.
“Yeah, get him to come along,” agreed Alex. “You should probably fill him in on what happened tonight,” he added with a grimace, knowing Jari wouldn’t take the news too well. At least the rest of them had had a chance to say goodbye.
Aamir sighed. “I’ll tell him.”
“Where should we meet? Is anywhere safe enough?” Ellabell asked.
“We should meet in the library. I’ve no idea if it’s safe, but it has the books we might need. Plus, it’s huge, so we can hopefully find somewhere away from prying eyes,” he replied, though he wasn’t sure such a place existed within the walls of Stillwater House. He’d started to feel the prickle of eyes upon him wherever he went these days.
Parting ways, Alex knew nobody would be sleeping well that night.
Chapter 36
The next day, the quintet assembled in the grand library, with its gold-flecked marble floors and trickling water features, pooling away, down the abyss in the center of the room. Other students eyed them cautiously, but most of the five were too distracted by the beauty of the place to notice. It was only Alex, who was already familiar with the alluring, airy space and its entire universe of books, who noticed the wary observation of those around.
It was nice to see Jari up and about, too, though there was a melancholy to his usually cheerful face that Alex found heartrending. To hear of Gaze’s passing and the truth of Helena was not exactly a pleasant way to start the day. Still, the distraction of finding a way out soon brought some life back to his eyes, as they made their way up to a large reading alcove, similar to the one Alex had almost been discovered in. It was high enough that Alex could keep an eye on anyone trying to approach them, but tucked away enough that it gave the illusion of privacy. Whether it would provide any such security, they had yet to find out.
They paused on the walkway, and Alex pulled out a list of research topics. As he read them aloud, the others put their hands up at the subjects they liked and took that as their responsibility, wandering over to the Index to check out any entries before braving the stacks.
The group went their separate ways among the many floors. Alex clambered up to the very top platform and rooted through several shelves until he found some books he thought might be useful. He had brought his Royals book and Leander Wyvern book along too, realizing it had been a while since he had delved within their pages. So much had happened, he had almost forgotten about the two books. As he returned to the reading area, he wondered if there’d be anything juicy inside the tomes that they could use.
Regrouping, he chuckled to see that both Natalie and Ellabell were teetering along with enormous stacks of books, while the two other boys only had a few in each hand. Nevertheless, the tables became a mess of literature as everyone spread their books out on the surface, picking up ones that caught their eyes, before they all settled back in their armchairs to read what lay within.
As they read, talk turned to what could be gained from the lessons they had been attending.
“We could see what Master Montego knows of cloaking spells,” Natalie said, flipping through some pages of a book entitled Cloaks and Their Many Uses.
“I’ve just started learning explosion spells,” Jari chimed in. “It’d be cool to blow stuff up. You know, if we need to create any diversions,” he quipped, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes.
“What about your classes, Alex? Anything interesting we could use?” Ellabell asked, turning to him.
Alex pondered the question. Master Demeter’s classes were mainly focused on the theoretical, which didn’t seem very useful in this case. “I could see what I can find out about the history of Stillwater, I guess. He might know more about the portals between havens or something.”
He wished he had more to offer from his classes. He had still only been taught by the clownish Master Demeter, even though he was supposed to be having lessons with Alypia. On the occasions she had been listed on his schedule, he had shown up at the correct room, only to find Master Demeter again, who would cry out, without fail, “Is this a devil I see before me?” with something held aloft in his hand, mixing his Shakespeares as badly as he mixed his proverbs.
“I wonder if Alypia is up to something,” he said, after he had explained her continued absences to the others.
Natalie frowned. “The Headmistress is always up to something, as far as I can tell.”
There was residual bitterness, in the wake of what had happened to Gaze. Alex could sense it in the air, mirroring the resentment he felt pulsing inside his own heart.
From the table, Alex picked up his research list and looked over it. Portals, Great Evils, uses for life essence, powerful spells, magical travel—the Stillwater library had a lot of books that skirted around many of these subjects, but none that explicitly detailed any of what they needed. It was frustrating to watch his friends discard book after book, finding nothing of much use at all.
“Any good?” asked Alex as Natalie threw down a large, yellow-covered book on How to Get from Point A to B: A Mage’s Journey by Frederik Scott.
“No, it is some autobiography. Nothing is what it seems in this place!” she cried in exasperation. Alex knew exactly how she felt.
“We’ve got to remember what Helena said—there are books the students aren’t allowed to see, even here,” he explained. “So what we’re looking for might not even be her
e.”
This revelation put a damper on everyone’s mood as they continued to sift through the stacks of books, hoping that one of them would have at least a glimmer of hope within.
Alex’s mind, however, was distracted by a far bigger picture. He was trying to focus on his other idea, the one running alongside the plan to escape to the outside world. In his mind’s eye, he pictured the black bottles with their pulsing red interiors, and felt the overwhelming desire for their destruction course through him, making his eyes burn. He had been thinking about it ever since his failed trip to the arena, though he still wasn’t sure if he wanted to destroy them all or steal them all, in order to keep them out of the hands of the Head and Headmistress. They could also be a useful bargaining chip for the freedom of those at Spellshadow, perhaps, and for the five of them to be returned to the real world too, should they fail to find a way of their own. He knew it was pretty optimistic, but he also knew the value of that stuff, especially after hearing Alypia’s fears about it running out. If he played his cards right, he could find himself in control.
The only problem was, he still didn’t know where the bottles were hidden, and the only person he could ask wasn’t with them, because they had chosen to push her away. He sighed, wondering if leaving Helena out was the right thing to do. She was still useful and willing to help, despite the white lie she had told. How many of them were guilty of similar lies?
Remembering Gaze’s words, Alex turned to Aamir. “Do you think we’ve been too hard on Helena?” he asked, addressing the group, though his stare remained with Aamir.
“She lied,” replied Natalie.
“Yeah, but haven’t we all lied at some point? You can understand why she didn’t tell us—we would have run a mile,” Alex said thoughtfully. “What I can’t understand is why you lied to us, Aamir.” He waited for Aamir to reply, as the others turned their gaze toward him.