right between my legs, where he always belonged, and I wrapped my arm around his shoulder. He caught me, holding me in place, and I drew my fingers through his hair. Our faces were inches apart.
“You can’t lie about me? I can’t lie to you.” I brushed my lips over his. “I don’t know how it might happen, but I’m scared. I couldn’t handle losing you.”
“Sam,” Mason whispered, raising one of his hands to cup the side of my face. His thumb rubbed over my cheek. “You might’ve seen your mother at her worst, but you also watched David. He stayed. He held on because he loved you. She left him, but he never left her.”
“But he did. One time.”
Mason cursed again, his lips falling to my shoulder. He lightly nipped me there, tightening his hold around my back. “I’m sorry. I forgot the time she . . .”
Killed her babies.
He couldn’t say it. Neither could I.
I rested my head on his shoulder and hugged him. I didn’t know what the future would hold. I was sure there’d be challenges, but I was sure there’d be good times as well. There was a layer of strength and belief in us, but underneath it, I couldn’t deny there was a layer of fear.
I felt tears forming, and before they shed, I whispered, “Let’s get married now.”
“What?” He pulled back to gaze down at me.
Those tears fell. “Let’s do it now. Before—”
Before it was too late. Before we built walls around our hearts, because that was what my mother taught me to do.
I finally figured it out, and the realization spread through me at breakneck speed. I guarded myself. At first it was against her, but it’d be against Mason eventually. It was part of my DNA, a part of me. I wouldn’t know I was doing it until it was too late.
That couldn’t happen. I couldn’t safeguard myself against him.
My fingers gripped his skin. “Let’s go now. Let’s do it before we fuck up and something horrible happens.”
“Sam.”
He was going to say no. He was going to say everything would be all right. He was going to say all the right things, that we’d be fine, that we loved each other, that we’d never do what our parents did. Maybe he was right, but I still felt there would be a time when neither of us would realize what was happening. Something would put us on opposite sides of each other, and that would be the end.
“Please, Mason.”
He began threading his fingers through my hair, tucking my strands behind my ear. “Do you trust me?”
I nodded. I didn’t trust myself.
“If you trust me, believe me when I say that we’re going to be fine. I’ve never done anything to hurt you. You’ve never hurt me. We will be fine. I promise.”
My hand wrapped around his wrist where he cupped the side of my face. I clung to him, wanting to accept what he was saying, but my gut was saying otherwise. Something was going to happen. Something neither of us would foresee, and whatever it was—it was going to rip us apart.
I closed my eyes and rested my forehead to his shoulder.
“Sam.” He smoothed my hair down my back. “Everything will be all right. I promise.”
I trusted him. I was the problem.
All I murmured was, “Okay.”
“Okay?” He was smiling, searching my face, and his eyes darkened. His lips found mine, resting there softly. “It’ll be fine. I won’t let anything happen to you or me. I promise.”
Again, that word.
I was starting to hate that word, just like when Analise would promise me. She made all sorts of commitments. She failed on all of them.
But I nodded and breathed out. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
I nodded again, closing my eyes. I felt his lips on mine again, and this time they didn’t pull away. They held there and applied pressure. They took me away on a different journey, and when Mason slid inside of me, I moved with him, but I couldn’t shake what my gut was saying.
We were on borrowed time.
MASON
Sam fell asleep on the short drive home.
I didn’t have the heart to wake her, so I was carrying her inside when Logan stepped into the hallway. I held a hand up before he could start and gestured to her. I held up a finger. One minute. That’s all I was asking for, and his eyes fell to Sam before he nodded. He stepped back into the living room while I slipped into the bedroom.
Sam and I had rinsed off before leaving the pool, and I’d done my thing, going back and making sure the cameras were wiped during our time slot there. When I got back, she’d had the Escalade running, the heat turned up, and was curled into a ball in the back. I knew she was asleep even before hearing her deep breathing.
And as I placed her under the covers now, she didn’t even stir.
I grabbed new clothes and moved into the hallway bathroom to change before going to find Logan. I didn’t want to wake her.
He’d poured himself a drink while waiting for me. I smelled the aroma of bourbon, and he waved toward the liquor cabinet with his glass. “Have at it. I’m in the mood to get ripped tonight.”
Even if Sam hadn’t told me, I would’ve known instantly. Logan was furious, more hurt than anything else.
I poured myself a glass, then turned around. “I’m sorry.”
“For what, big brother?” His face showed no emotion. But his eyes were raging. “For going to self-sacrifice without me? Or asking Sam to marry you and not telling me the news?” He flung a hand toward the television. “I heard about it on the fucking TV! Like everyone else!”
“I’m sorry.”
He grunted, sipping from his glass. “You better damn well be. You cut me out. I’m not everyone else. I’m the one who’s never left your side.”
“I know.”
“Do you?!” he spat. “I’d tell you before I asked Taylor to marry me. Fuck. You’d be in on the planning. And if you weren’t, you’d be my first phone call after she said yes.” He laughed, and the sound was bitter. “You’d be my first phone call if she said no too.” His eyes grew wary. “How long ago?”
“When I asked her?”
He nodded. “How long have you been engaged and you haven’t told me?”
“A month.”
His head tipped back. “Are you serious? A whole month.”
I sat down at the table. Logan kept the lights off, which I was grateful for, and he followed me. He brought the bourbon with him, placing it on the table between us.
“She didn’t say yes.”
He went still, and his eyes lifted to mine. “You shitting me?”
I shook my head, finishing my glass and refilling it. I had practice in the afternoon tomorrow—or I hoped I still did—but I didn’t care now. Logan was right. I should’ve told him right away, and admitting Sam’s reluctance was like a weight off my shoulders.
I leaned back in my chair. “She’s scared, and she wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t even prepared. I just decided that day, and I did it. I lit a bunch of those fake-candle things girls like, and I put them all around on this path Sam likes to run.”
“Ah . . .” Logan mocked me, grinning. “How romantic of you.”
“Shut up. You’ll do something twice as romantic for Taylor, and you know it.”
“Yeah,” he conceded, reaching for the bourbon again. “You’re right. I’ll blow your proposal out of the water.”
I cringed, hearing that word. I remembered holding Sam in the pool, moving inside of her. She was with me. She had felt all the sensations I did, but she wasn’t quite there. I could feel her doubt. It clung to her like a blanket sometimes, and marrying me—she was nervous. I felt a knife inside every time I admitted that to myself.
I was ready.
I could wait, but I was ready. There was no doubt for me. No fear.
I’d do anything for her, but the woman I placed on a pedestal above me wasn’t sure about marrying me. She said she was, she whispered the words, but I knew she wasn’t. Even though I said on televisio
n we were engaged, a part of her wasn’t my fiancée at all. A part of her wanted to run from me.
I downed my glass and filled it for a third time.
“You okay?”
I looked over, hearing Logan’s concern. “You still pissed at me?”
“Shit, no. Not after hearing she said no.”
I nodded. It sucked. It more than sucked. It burned me raw. “Yeah.”
“You want to go do something stupid? Like we did in high school?”
I glanced over. “Like what?”
But I was going. Whatever he suggested, I needed to slip back into that skin where it was him and me against the world. Everything made more sense then.
“Let’s go find Adam Quinn.” He grinned crookedly at me. “Let’s go light his car on fire.”
I grinned back at him. “Like we did with the Broudous.”
This was wrong.
This was stupid.
This was something we’d do in high school.
I finished my third glass. “I’m in.” I pointed the glass at him. “But just the car. Nothing else. We can’t be that stupid.”
He nodded. “Of course. We’re never dumb.”
We both cracked grins, and I said, “We need a driver.”
As one person, we looked up at the ceiling. We were waking Nate within thirty seconds.
“Hey!” I shoved at his shoulder.
Logan didn’t waste time. He yanked off Nate’s blanket and both of us turned away, in case there was nudity.
“HEY!” Nate reared up. “I’m naked.”
There was nudity.
“Yeah.” I made a hurry-up motion with my hand. “We need you to drive us somewhere. Get dressed.”
Logan was heading back to the hallway. He slapped a hand on Nate’s wall. “Get your ass in gear, Monson. We’ve got a mission to fuck some shit up.”
Nate growled, but we heard him moving around as we left. Logan went to change, but I was ready to go. This wasn’t a smart decision, but I didn’t care. I filled my glass again as I waited.
Logan’s grin was wicked when he saw my fourth glass. “This is what I love.” He filled his fourth too, and we went to the kitchen until Nate showed moments later. He stopped in the entryway, dressed in jeans and a black sweatshirt.
He eyed us. “Do I even want to ask?”
Logan pointed to me. “He and Sam are kind of engaged, but kind of not. She said no at first.”
Nate’s eyes rounded in surprise. “Really?”
I didn’t want to talk about it, and I downed the rest of my drink. “Let’s go.”
“Where are we going?”
Logan finished his too, leaving the glass on the table. He grabbed Nate’s car keys from the wall where they were hanging and hurled them to him. “You’re driving. We’re doing a road trip to Adam Quinn’s place.”
“Are you serious?”
Logan nodded, pulling his phone out. We were heading out to Nate’s vehicle when someone answered his call.
“Tate!” he said. “Hey, you owe me one.” He paused. “I don’t give a shit what time of night it is. Where’s your cousin’s ex-douchebag staying these days? Call it a hunch, but I’ve a feeling she’ll know.” He waited again, then said, “Okay. Got it. Thanks, and hey.” His voice turned ominous. “Don’t think ahead of yourself and give someone a heads-up. Got it?”
As we got into Nate’s truck, he said, “Adam’s staying at the cabin to get away from the news media. Apparently, they haven’t located the cabin yet.”
Nate started the engine.
I looked back. “His parents?” I was sure his dad was out on bail.
Logan’s grin looked a little dangerous. “Daddy dearest is in town so he can meet with his lawyers more easily. His mom is in Fallen Crest too. Adam’s alone.”
I’d once whispered to Adam that if he fucked with my life, with Sam, with anyone I loved, I was going to end him. I didn’t know how, or when, but one day he would look around and realize no one was there to help him.
That day had come.
SAMANTHA
Something wasn’t right.
I felt it even before I woke up, and when I did, I knew Mason wasn’t next to me. I had no reason to know something was going on, but I did, and I acted on that instinct. I dressed, pulled my hair up into a ponytail, and went to wake Taylor. I wasn’t surprised to see that Mason, Logan, and Nate were gone. I checked the kitchen, living room, outside, and Nate’s room as I went up to Logan’s room.
Taylor was curled over on her side, her body rising and falling in deep breaths.
“Hey.” I tapped her on the shoulder. “Taylor.”
She woke with a gasp, whirling over to stare at me. She clutched the blanket. “Who—Sam?” Recognition eased away her panic. She ran a hand through her hair, blinking and squinting at me. “What are you doing here?”
“Something’s wrong.” I couldn’t explain it. “The guys are gone. I think they’re going to do something bad.”
“Like what?”
She hadn’t been around for all those fights. She’d seen them defend her, save her from her friend’s enemies, but that was it. Logan had shielded her from the dirty stuff. I wouldn’t do the same. She needed to know, but for now I just shook my head.
“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I have. We need to find them.”
“Okay.” She rose and reached for a robe, then paused as she took in my getup: jeans and a sweatshirt, all black. She let out a wary breath. “Why do I feel like I’m not going to be getting back to sleep anytime soon?”
I turned and headed for the door. “Because you’re not.”
I went downstairs to wait for her and pulled up a tracking app I’d put on Mason’s phone. He knew about it. He wanted one on mine, so I insisted on one for his phone too. I’d also put it on Logan’s phone. He just didn’t know about it, or I doubted he did. He had so many apps on there.
“Where are we going?” Taylor asked as she appeared.
I held my phone up. “You drive. I’ll tell you where to go.”
We got into her car, and she pulled out a moment later.
I looked down at the dot on the screen that was Mason and said, “Head out of town. We’re going back to Fallen Crest.”
MASON
“Do we have a plan?”
Nate asked the question after we’d been on the road for three hours. First we had to go toward Fallen Crest, and then we’d been taking a county road north for the last half hour. We were getting close.
Logan leaned forward. “Besides picking a fight?”
Nate frowned. “I thought we were just going to throw some