I gave Logan a look. I didn’t know what to say. I should explain to my coach that I chose not to join the team so I could spend time with my boyfriend? I didn’t think he’d respect that.
I shrugged instead. “It’s just a decision I made. I’ve been content with doing track only.”
He shook his head. “You’re here to see a career counselor, but, Sam, I really urge you to join the cross-country team. They could use a runner like you. You know what? Come to my office tomorrow. I’d like to talk about this some more with you.” He lowered his head; his eyes still meeting mine. “Would you do that?”
“Uh . . . sure. Yeah.”
He nodded. “Good.” He seemed to relax and pressed the clipboard against his side. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Clapping Logan on the shoulder, he moved for the door. “It was nice meeting you again, Kade.”
“You too.” Logan waited until the door closed. “Why didn’t you just tell him the truth? You didn’t join because of Mason, right?”
“Because he wouldn’t understand.”
Logan snorted. “You’re being that girl.”
We’d started down the hallway toward the counselors’ offices, but I stopped. “What does that mean?”
“You know. That girl.” He grinned. “The chick who puts her boyfriend first.”
“I’m not that girl.”
“Yeah, you’re exactly that girl.” He gestured to me. “You don’t want to admit it, but you’re putting Mason first. It’s cool, Sam. It’s only half the year. The other half, you get to do your thing. Track.”
I scowled. I hated the way he said that, like I was weak-willed and submissive.
But he was right.
During the fall, I did put Mason first.
It stung.
I blinked a couple times. “So you’re saying I should join the cross-country team?”
“If you want. It’s up to you. Has Mason ever asked you not to? Did he say he’d be mad if you did or something?”
I stiffened. “Are we talking about the same guy?”
Mason put me first. Always had, always would.
Logan’s grin widened. He snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “Exactly. You know Mason won’t care, so you can relax. You’re not that girl. Your boyfriend didn’t make you choose him over yourself. You made that decision all on your own.”
My scowl was back. “Stop fucking with me.”
“I’m not.” He held his hands up. “Honestly. But I’ve always wondered why you didn’t join. I just figured there was a good reason. I mean, I thought Mason probably factored into it, but I thought there was more to it too.”
I thought for a moment. They had meets every weekend, and sometimes during the week. Mason had practices every day, and there were team activities off the field too. That wasn’t including the games—those he had every week too.
There’d be no time. I would almost never see him.
The thought of it—no. I couldn’t. I started forward again. “I can’t do it. I’ll never see him.”
“Isn’t that why you’re here?”
I stopped again. A spark of anger lit in my stomach. I turned back around to him. “Stop it, Logan.”
“Look.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I can’t be hypocritical here. I love you, Sam. You’re family, and I know Mason would want you to do what you want. You two are good. There’s no vulnerability in your relationship, so what are you doing? Why are you choosing him over something I know you’d love? You loved it in high school. You love running, and that’s all this team does—and not for a just a mile or two. It’s literally everything you love doing. If the only reason you’re not doing it is because of Mason, I know my brother would tell you to do it. Have you guys ever talked about it?”
He knew the answer. I refused to give it. I just stared.
He sighed, his hand dropping back down. “That’s what I thought. Let me guess. He asked if you were going to join, and you said no. That was probably the entire conversation, wasn’t it?”
“Not fully.”
He snorted. “He probably asked if you were sure, and you said you were. Then he dropped it. Right?”
He was a bit closer this time. I gritted my teeth. “You’re mad because he didn’t push me? Is that it?”
“No, but the whole reason you’re coming here today is because you don’t know what you want to do. Maybe you should do something you want to do. Maybe that’s the first step. Instead of taking some stupid test, actually go out there and join the team. Yes, you’re sacrificing time with Mason, but it’s only for a few months. It’s not like you don’t live with the guy. I’m foreseeing lots of midnight screwing happening.”
I wavered. He was right, but it’d be hard.
“If I did this—” I shot a hand out when his grin morphed into a smirk. “—And that’s a big if. But if I did this, you’d have to make me a promise.”
“Sure. Anything.”
“No. Don’t say that. I mean it. You’d really have to make me a promise.”
The smirk fell away, and he grew serious. “I promise.” His head inclined toward mine. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”
“You can’t get Mason in trouble.”
His eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“He’s walking on eggshells. No drama can happen. Nothing. His name can’t be linked to any kind of scandal.”
He shook his head. “Do you not know who we are? We should’ve been named Mason and Logan Scandal, not Kade.”
“Taylor’s dad said that if anyone got wind of them looking the other way about the tape, there could be consequences. Like, if a lot of people got pissed about a wealthy guy not being punished, Mason would be off the team. He’d be suspended, or worse. You know that’s not good for his career. He still has to get drafted.”
“That’s bullshit. That’d never happen.”
I raised an eyebrow. He knew it could. He just didn’t want to admit it.
Logan cursed, raking a hand over his jaw.
I nodded. “It just takes one person to find out, get pissed, and start talking.”
“I know. I heard what Mase said in Taylor’s kitchen. I just . . . don’t like it.”
“Don’t get him in trouble. Be smart about things. I’ll join the team, if you don’t get Mason in trouble.”
He stilled, eyeing me.
I held my hand out.
He looked at my hand. If he shook it, he’d honor our agreement. That meant no fighting, no pranks, nothing combustible.
The part of Logan that would make him a great lawyer was the part Mason didn’t need in his life right now. He couldn’t go and fuck things up.
He let out a surrendering sigh and shook my hand. “Deal.”
Logan was right.
Mason was understanding and even encouraging when I told him about Coach Carillo and the deal I’d struck with Logan. He laughed a little at that, but I saw the relief in his eyes. It was small, but it was there. I understood it too, because no matter what was best for Mason’s career, if Logan got into a spot, Mason would have his back. Damn the consequences.
This made him a little less worried about having to do that.
I, however, was all sorts of worried. I was going to have to do the unthinkable: I’d have to branch out. I couldn’t stay back within what was comfortable to me.
Last night I spoke to Coach Carillo on the phone, and he promised he would call the cross-country coach and instructed me to show up early. And here I was. Bright and early.
I pulled up outside the coaching administration offices at seven in the morning. There was a small chill in the early morning breeze, but it felt nice. I wore running clothes, running tights under my sweatpants, and I’d skipped my four a.m. run, banking on running with the team later. But my body was ready to go now. I could feel the itch.
“Hey!”
I turned to notice another car had pulled into the parking lot and saw Taylor jogging over.
“What are
you doing here?” I asked.
She was dressed similar to me, but I’d snagged one of Mason’s Cain University sweatshirts. She had on a black hoodie instead.
“Logan said you were trying out for the cross-country team today.” She shrugged. “I’m not in your league, but I’m no slouch. Figured I might try too.”
“Are you sure?”
She rolled a shoulder again, glancing away for a moment. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve been adding to my mileage since I started dating Logan. I think I can hold my own, or try it.” Her eyes widened. “Unless you don’t want me to. Did you want this to be your own thing? I can go. I mean it. I just thought it’d be nice to have something in common with you that Logan and Mason weren’t a part of. You know what I mean?”
I relaxed. She was doing this for me.
I squeezed her hand. “Thank you, and I’d love it if you ran with me.”
“Oh. Phew.” She laughed, pretending to wipe her brow. “I just thought, if it were me, I’d be nervous to join a team my junior year. I’d want a friend with me.” She leaned closer, lowering her voice. “I’m shitting my pants about trying to catch up, but I really would like to try.”
“No. Thank you. I appreciate it.” I smiled at her. “Carillo said we need to find Coach Langdon’s office.”
More cars were arriving, and soon a few more girls headed our way. As Taylor and I started for the coaching staff building again, some of those girls dropped down on the grassy area just outside the doors. They began stretching, talking, and laughing with each other.
One looked our way, and then her eyes widened. She gasped, hitting her friend on the arm. I saw her say something, and she pointed in our direction.
That’s when I recognized her. It was the drunk, naked chick from the party.
I groaned. “I don’t know if this is good or not.”
Taylor had reached for the door handle. She glanced back. “What?”
I nodded at Nettie, and the other girl looked over too. I recognized Grace. A third girl stretched on the other side of them. I was betting that was Courtney.
“Our best friends from the party this weekend. Look.”
Taylor stiffened. “Oh no. They’re coming over.”
They moved toward us in a group, but Courtney didn’t seem as enthused as the other two.
“Hey!” Grace waved and stopped just short of barreling into us. “Logan Kade’s girlfriend.”
More girls had arrived to stretch, and most looked over after Grace’s exclamation. Even the ones still stretching seemed to be listening.
Taylor shared a look with me. If we’d hoped to remain anonymous, be known only as Taylor and Sam, that was over. It was only a matter of time before my secret was blown too.
“What are you doing here?” Nettie gushed.
She and Grace directed all their attention to Taylor. The only one looking at me was Courtney, and she wore a slight frown. Her eyes narrowed as she tilted her head to the right.
“Bartender girl, right?”
I coughed.
“Strattan!”
A fit-looking guy, strong jaw, older forties, came out the door behind us. The clipboard, whistle, athletic warm-up clothes, and the fact he had the same aura as Coach Carillo indicated immediately who he was.
I turned to him. “Coach Langdon?”
He nodded, looking me over. “Martin says you’re worth my time.” He gave Taylor the same cold appraisal. “He never said anything about an entourage.”
“This is—”
Taylor held out her hand. “Taylor Bruce. I’m not in the same league as Sam, but I was wondering if I could try out too. I can do ten miles on a good day.”
He didn’t move to shake her hand. “Bruce?”
She withdrew her hand. “My dad is Coach Broozer.”
“Whoa!” someone exclaimed.
We heard Nettie whisper behind us. And like a chain reaction, more whispering and conversation followed.
Taylor glanced over her shoulder, a worried look on her face. She was still adjusting, but this had become my norm over the years. People realized who we were connected to. They were excited. They’d give us lots of attention. They’d want to become our best friends. But that was only half of it. The other part was jealousy. Maybe they didn’t like who we slept with, or who we were connected to. Logan. Mason. Coach Broozer. It didn’t matter. If our star shone brighter than theirs, whoever they were, they weren’t happy.
Also, there was usually a small group who was indifferent. They didn’t know Mason, Logan, or now Coach Broozer, in Taylor’s situation. And they didn’t care to know. Those were the girls I usually sought out as class partners, or in this case, just a friend on the team.
I snuck a look over my shoulder too.
Some were scowling at us. Half had lit-up eyes and bright smiles, but there were two girls just doing their own thing.
My eyes skimmed over Courtney. Suspicion lurked in her gaze, mingling with something else I didn’t normally encounter.
“Broozer’s your dad?” Coach Langdon was saying.
He pulled me back to their conversation.
Taylor nodded, folding her hands in front of herself. “Yes, sir.”
He paused, mulling it over. Then he nodded. “Okay. Fine. But if you can’t keep up, you can’t have a spot.” He looked at me. His eyes hardened, like he was assessing me. “Martin told me your times. You do anything like what he says you can, you’re on the team too.”
I nodded. “Yes, sir.”
I hadn’t expected anything less, and I’d turned to go stretch when he called my name again.
I looked back. “Yes?”
“We run with the football team sometimes. Is that going to be a problem?”
My eyes rounded. I shook my head. “No, sir. Why would it?”
“I know about your relationship with Kade.” He gestured to the girls stretching. “Is that going to be a problem?”
Shit. I swallowed a lump in my throat. “No, sir. I’ll handle it.”
“Okay. Finish stretching, and get ready. You guys take off in five minutes.”
He went over to talk to one of the girls who seemed oblivious on the far side of the grassy area. Both took out their earbuds now to listen to him.
Courtney looked over to them. “That’s Faith Shaw and Raelynn Quang. They’re the stars of the team. Both princesses and spoiled by their rich daddies—and our coach too.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
Nettie and Grace were still fawning over Taylor, so they weren’t paying attention, but Courtney lowered her voice anyway. “Because you’re Samantha Strattan, aren’t you?”
“My name means something to you?”
She laughed, rolling her eyes. “I should’ve put two and two together. I was stupid to assume you were staff. You weren’t dressed like someone hired to man the bar. You were just helping out, weren’t you?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I’d started to wonder just now, but then Coach called you Strattan. In running circles, you’re known. You’re a big deal on the track team. I always wondered why you didn’t join cross-country, but it was because of your boyfriend. Mason Kade, right?”
“Is that really your business?”
She laughed again. “No, but I couldn’t help asking.” She nodded