“Wait,” Della said. “Let me see if I understand … you want me to tell her this?” Sarcasm spilled out with her words.
“Yeah,” he said as if he didn’t understand her issue.
“Why don’t you tell her?” Della slipped a hand to her hip.
He made a face. “She’s your ghost.”
“My ghost? Why the hell is she my ghost?”
“Because she’s closer to you.”
“Says who?”
He opened his mouth and nothing came out right away. Then words spurted out of his lips. “Because … Because she…” His eyes widened as if he’d figured something out. “Because she gave you the picture of Natasha. And Natasha has some connection to your family.”
His reasoning made sense, perfect sense, but Della didn’t want to see it that way. Refused to see it that way. She didn’t want to be alone in this with some dead person. Sharing it with him wasn’t the ideal situation, but she hadn’t come up with this plan.
“That doesn’t make her mine,” Della insisted. “She talks to both of us. We’ve got joint custody here, buddy. You should have thought about this before you bonded with me. And don’t you try to skip out of your responsibility.”
“It’s a ghost,” he said. “Not a baby.”
“Same thing!” she muttered and turned to walk away.
“There’s a big difference.” His words still reached her ears. “Bye,” he said when she didn’t stop walking. “See you tomorrow.”
“Bye,” she offered, but didn’t look back.
She started down the dark trail. An achiness swelled in her chest. Each step toward her cabin hurt just a bit more. Hurt as if she was walking away from something that felt like home, instead of going to it. The sensation of being alone consumed her.
Or maybe not so alone.
A strange, repetitive whooshing noise came behind her. A kind of scary, repetitive whooshing noise. Her heart did a small tumble.
Did ghosts whoosh? And smell like … fowl?
Chapter Eighteen
Refusing to give in to the urge to run like hell, Della swung around, her canines already out and her eyes feeling tight as if glowing.
The damn huge bird cocked its head and looked at her. “It’s just me.” Perry’s voice came out of the bird’s beak as sparkly bubbles started popping off, signaling that the shape-shifter was changing form.
“You realize I could have ripped your head off,” she seethed, watching the bird fade and Perry appear.
“Because I scared you, or because you’re mad at me?” he asked, his words a little slurred due to his beak being in the process of turning into lips. Della looked away—it was too creepy to watch.
Staring at the woods, it took only the tiniest fraction of a second to remember why she would be mad. Perry was leaving. And forget the fact that she would miss the twerp. One of her best friends was going to be devastated.
Della didn’t like people devastating someone she cared about. Even when the person doing the disappointing was also a friend.
She swung back around. “Definitely because I’m mad. And I wasn’t scared!” Her heart thumped to the tune of a lie, but shape-shifters couldn’t hear that, so her little white fib didn’t count. “Do you know what your leaving is going to do to Miranda?”
He frowned and kicked at the dirt. “It’s going to hurt me, too. But what am I supposed to do? Turn it down? It’s my one chance to maybe…”
“Maybe what?” Della asked.
“Nothing,” he said.
“Don’t ‘nothing’ me! What were you going to say?”
He kicked at another rock on the ground. “To change things.”
“Change what?”
“Me,” he said.
Della shook her head. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Right,” he said as if he thought she was making shit up. Couldn’t he see she was too tired to make shit up right now?
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, suddenly realizing she didn’t understand why Perry was going to the fancy school. She got why Steve would go. They were going to give him a crash course in supernatural medicine. But Perry wasn’t into medicine.
“Spill it, bird boy!” Della snapped. “I’m dead tired and don’t want to dance around this conversation.”
“Haven’t you noticed I have to hide on parents’ day? And if Burnett uses me in a case, I have to go in already shifted?”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t control things.”
“What things?” Della asked.
“My eye color. And when I get mad I … shift without meaning to.”
Della thought back. “So you turned into a dragon and a super-sized lion once or twice. That’s not the end of the world.”
“Not here, it’s not, but if it’s in the human world, it could stir up a lot of shit.”
Della couldn’t deny it. It would make national news. She could see CNN covering it now. They’d probably blame it on one of the political parties. That, or stem cell research. “And you really can’t control it?”
“I wish.”
Her heart, already broken in a hundred different ways, still hurt for the guy. “Then go and learn how to control yourself and come back. Miranda is bonkers about you, I’m sure she’ll wait.”
“She shouldn’t.”
“What?” Della asked. “Oh, crap! Please tell me you aren’t breaking up with her.”
“Not breaking up, just taking a break.”
“It still has the word ‘break’ in it, idiot. You can’t do that to her!”
“You and Steve did it.”
Della’s mouth dropped open. “No. Steve and I weren’t together. You can’t break up when you’re not made up.” It was another lie, emotionally—they had made up and made out, but she ignored that point, ignored the sting of pain connected to the lie. Right now, she just felt for Miranda.
“Why the hell are you doing this?” Della seethed.
His blue eyes tightened. “She needs to figure out what she wants.”
“Duh, she already has! She wants you.” And that’s when a thought hit. And that thought shot to her gut, burned, and completely pissed her off. Being pissed off took the edge off her exhaustion.
“Is this about sex?” she asked. “Because if this is about sex, I’m gonna open up a huge can of whoop ass on your butt.”
Her question seemed to shock him. “It’s not … I mean…”
“Boys!” she seethed. She moved in and poked the shape-shifter in his chest. “Listen to me, you little horny twerp! Nobody should be forced to do something they’re not comfortable doing. Especially when it involves getting naked.”
“It’s not … You don’t understand.”
“Oh, I understand all right.” She gave Perry another poke. “Guys are jerkoffs who think if they can’t get what they want from a girl, they’ll just move on and get it from someone else.”
“Stop,” he ordered, his tone deep and vibrating with frustration. “You don’t understand.”
His eyes grew a bright red. He was about to shift into something big and mean, but in the mood Della was in, she’d be happy to take him on. That can of whoop ass was begging to be opened. But before he started shifting, the coward turned and walked away.
“That’s right,” she called after him. “You’d better tuck your tail and run.” Then it hit her. “By the way, you were able to control yourself right then! You don’t need to go to Paris. Stay with Miranda.”
He didn’t answer. Just kept walking. Angry, she started running back to her cabin, ready to find a crying Miranda. Much to her surprise, only silence met her when she entered the door.
Silence and a cold chill.
She stopped and looked around, waiting for ice pebbles to start dropping. But then the cold evaporated. Telling herself she’d imagined it, she started toward her bedroom, but spotted the note waiting on the kitchen table. Edging closer, almost afraid it was left by the ghost, she relaxed
when she saw it was written in Kylie’s handwriting.
Della, we didn’t know when you’d be back. Miranda went to a witch meeting and I’m with Lucas. But if you need us, call, and we’ll both be back in a snap. I’ll listen to both you and Miranda whine.
Best buds forever!
Della sighed. “You two are the best.” She almost pulled her phone out, but she didn’t want to come off as needy. She’d see them when they got home. Walking into her bedroom, her gaze zeroed in on the bed.
Instantly, all she wanted to do was crawl in and lose herself to slumber. She didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to cry. Sleep and forget. An hour, maybe two. Since she’d been Reborn, that was all she really needed to refresh her.
She fell back on the bed, her eyes shut by the time her body hit and bounced on the mattress. Sleep lingered seconds away, so close she could touch it, but her phone, still tucked in her pocket, dinged with a text.
Don’t look at it, a voice whispered inside her head. She moaned, then, unable to stop herself, she yanked her cell from her pocket and rolled over onto her stomach. She had to concentrate to get her eyes open.
The second she saw the number, she dropped her head, facedown, on the pillow. And the pain she’d been pushing back rose up in her chest.
Lifting up again, she read the message.
Hey … I think it would be easier to just say good-bye this way. I’ll miss you. Bye, Steve.
He’d inserted an unhappy face. As if the unhappy face would make her feel better. She dropped her face back into the pillow and cried herself to sleep.
* * *
Two hours later, Della awakened to someone walking up the cabin steps. She lifted her heavy lids and took in a noseful of air to see if she could identify the visitor. The door to the cabin opened and Della recognized the fresh, herby smell that belonged to a certain witch. Remembering her brief encounter with Perry, Della’s heart instantly went to aching for the girl.
Miranda inched open her door and stuck her head in. “You awake?”
Della sat up. “Yeah. But no hugs, okay?” The words were out of her mouth before she saw the look in the girl’s puffy eyes.
Della hadn’t been the only one crying tonight. Right then, she wished she’d kicked Perry’s ass.
Miranda didn’t deserve this.
And Miranda deserved better than Della. The witch deserved Kylie. Kylie knew how to deal with heartbreaks. Della always said the wrong thing. Even when she tried really hard.
“Are you okay?” Miranda asked her.
The witch was hurting, breaking inside, Della could almost hear it, and yet the sincerity in Miranda’s voice said the girl was worried about her.
“You know me, nothing fazes me.” Her heart did tumbles at that huge lie.
“What did Steve want?” Miranda asked.
“To end it,” Della said, biting back any sound of weakness.
“I wish I was more like you,” Miranda said.
No you don’t. “How are you?” Della asked, because it seemed the right thing to say, but she really didn’t have to ask. Miranda’s pain hung in the air like a cloud.
“Hur … ting.” Miranda’s breath shook as she drew in air.
Damn it, Miranda was her friend. “Okay, one hug,” Della conceded. She could suffer through one, then hopefully Miranda would go to bed.
The witch barreled into the room, dropped down on the bed, and wrapped her arms around Della. And it wasn’t the just-one-and-go-to-bed kind of hug. It was the kind that said she didn’t want to let go.
And as crazy as it felt, neither did Della. She wanted to hang on to the way things had been. It’s going to be okay. She heard Chase’s words, but Della knew “okay” meant Steve wouldn’t be around. And neither would Perry.
Chapter Nineteen
“I just … don’t get this whole … take time off crap,” Miranda cried into Della’s shoulder. “People don’t do that.”
Yeah, they do. The witch’s hot tears seeped into Della’s shirt and she thought of all the people lately who’d walked out of her life. Then, finally uncomfortable with the clinging, she managed to pull out of Miranda’s arms. Hugs should never last more than fifteen seconds.
“It’s going to be okay.” Della repeated Chase’s words, but without the same conviction as when he’d said it. What she wanted to say was all this sucked. And at the top of the sucky list was the fact that Della sucked at consoling people.
“No, it won’t!” Miranda snapped. “I told him I would wait on him. Three weeks, months, years. I don’t care. But he said no, that it wasn’t fair to ask me to wait. Then he said that if I still loved him when he came back, that we’d walk off into the sunset and be happy.”
“The sunset? Who even says shit like that?” Della bellowed, saying the first thing that came to her mind, and from the expression in Miranda’s eyes, perhaps it was the wrong thing.
Miranda took some hiccupy breaths, sobbed into her hands for a good minute, then looked up with mascara-induced raccoon eyes.
“Do you want me to walk you to bed?” Della asked, hoping the witch would say yes before Della said something that made it worse.
Miranda either didn’t hear her, or couldn’t in her mental state. “I asked him about him still loving me. Do you know what he said?”
“Something terrible, I’m sure,” Della answered.
“He said that he couldn’t imagine not loving me.”
“Bastard,” Della said, still giving it her best shot, but cringing at her lack of consoling ability.
“Then he said we needed to look at this rationally.” Miranda let out a high-pitched moan. “He’s acting like such a … an adult!” She spit the last word out like it tasted bad on her tongue.
“Yeah, who wants that?” Della said.
“I know. I don’t want to be adult about this,” Miranda continued. “I know a long-distance relationship would be hard, but does he care so little about me that he doesn’t want to try? He’s just going to give up. I guess I’m not worth at least trying to make us work.”
A lump formed in Della’s chest. Wasn’t that exactly how she felt about Steve? He was giving up on her, on them, and even with her confused feelings for Chase, she hadn’t been ready to give up on Steve.
Oh, she knew it wasn’t fair to want to hang on to him, but dad-blast it, it hurt.
“I’m so sorry,” Della said, this time with complete honestly and she gave the witch another hug, her heart aching right along with Miranda’s.
* * *
An hour later, Della lay in silence. Miranda, taking up half of Della’s pillow, had cried herself to sleep.
Della heard Kylie walk into the cabin. The chameleon stopped in the living room and listened. Probably turned vampire to tune in to her super hearing to see who all was home.
She moved to Della’s door and cracked it open. It only creaked once.
“Shh,” Della said in a voice lower than a whisper. “If you wake her up, you’re in charge of getting her to sleep next time. It took five hugs.”
Della crept out of the bed with the slowness of an inchworm.
Kylie stepped back into the living room and Della cautiously and silently shut the door. They moved all the way outside to the front porch. They each sat down at the edge and let their feet hang down a few inches from the grass.
“I’m sorry.” Kylie looked at her and nipped at her bottom lip. “I should’ve come home hours ago. Holiday asked if Lucas and I would go to Walmart. They ran out of eggs and asked if we’d make an emergency run. I called Miranda and she said she was fine. I didn’t think you’d gotten home yet. And I didn’t know it would take that long.”
“It’s okay,” Della said.
Kylie looked back toward the door. “Was she an emotional wreck?”
“She’s just Miranda,” Della said.
“So she was an emotional wreck.” Kylie smiled sadly. “And you dealt with her while you’re hurting, too. Damn.”
“I’m fine,” De
lla said.
“Liar.” Kylie, obviously still in vamp mode, titled her head slightly to the side as if hearing Della’s heart stumble.
“Okay, I’m hurting, but I’m tougher.”
“No,” Kylie said. “You’re just better at pretending.” She gave Della the look that said “spill.” “What did Steve want?”
Della sighed. “As if Miranda didn’t tell you.”
“She did,” Kylie said, “but I was afraid it was more.”
“It was more,” Della said, her heart replaying the pain. “He said he can’t take seeing Chase and me working together.”
“Isn’t it the same thing as seeing him work with that smiley chick at the vet’s office who has the hots for him?”
“He doesn’t think so.”
“What do you think?” Kylie asked.
“I think … Oh, I don’t know what I think. I feel a million different things right now, none of them good.”
Kylie let go of a deep breath, filled with empathy. “So, he’s for sure leaving?”
Della nodded and felt the lump in her throat, then her thoughts went back to Miranda asleep in her bed. “I kind of understand why Steve is doing it, but Perry … that just pisses me off. Do you think it’s because Miranda hasn’t put out? I came right out and asked him, but he denied it, and his heart didn’t actually call him a liar, but I’m not sure I believe him.”
Kylie pulled one of her legs up and hugged it. “I could be wrong, but I just don’t see it being that. Not Perry. He’s so in love with Miranda.”
“Yeah, but you know what guys love more than anything.”
Kylie shrugged. “As sad as it sounds, I really think Perry is trying to do Miranda a favor. I ran into him this afternoon, and he looked so depressed that it hurt me to look at him.”
“Duh. Then he shouldn’t go to frigging Paris! How hard is that?”
“Pretty hard,” Kylie said. “Put yourself in his shoes. He’s basically ostracized from the human world. You and I, we think about college, and what we’re going to do with our lives. He can’t do that. If he can’t learn to control himself, he’s basically in hiding the rest of his life. And I’m sure Miranda talks about what she wants to do. He has to feel as if he’s going to hold her back.”