“Sex,” he blurted out. “You’ll want to have sex. A lot.”
“I see.”
He nodded. “But you’ll be in a somewhat… altered state. So before we… According to Ginny, the excitement and enthusiasm can be overwhelming. Your inhibitions will be lowered, so I need to know—”
“My inhibitions will be lowered?” Kyra’s eyes lit up. “You mean I won’t be so nervous?”
Leo frowned. “Why are you nervous? Am I pressuring you? Am I—?
“It’s not you. Like I said, it’s just the unknown. I start thinking about what will happen when we finally… consummate our relationship.” Her cheeks turned red. “And I want to. But then I worry I’ll do something wrong. Or that something will go wrong and you’ll be disappointed.”
“I would never be disappointed in you,” Leo said. “Not ever, Kyra. I’m as unfamiliar with this as you are. We can learn together.”
“But this magic will make me less nervous,” she whispered. “It sounds like the perfect time to… experiment. Experiment more, I mean.”
Leo’s heart took off at a gallop. “I’m very willing to try that. But I want you to be sure.”
“Am I going to be myself still? I’m going to remember everything, won’t I?”
“Yes. According to Ginny, you’ll just have much more energy. You might be light-headed, but—”
“Then I want to have sex afterward.” Kyra nodded firmly. “This sounds like the perfect opportunity. I won’t be nervous. And you’re never nervous about anything.”
Leo wasn’t sure that was true. Just the thought of finally being with Kyra was enough to make him feel like a foolish and uncontrolled schoolboy. He’d barely become accustomed to seeing her skin bare. But he wasn’t going to deny her either. She was correct. Most of their hesitance had to do with her nerves. If this ritual would diminish her anxiety, it was the perfect time.
“Okay,” he said.
“Okay.” She smiled. “Now you look like the nervous one.”
“You have no idea.”
Ginny sat across from Kyra, both resting cross-legged in the lotus position. Leo watched them from the side, surprised when a low, droning song came from Ginny’s throat. Her song sounded like the wind through trees. Her palm thumped on the wooden floor in a steady rhythm as her power began to fill the air. It was unlike any singing Leo had heard, completely unlike Irina singing he’d heard from Sari and Ava.
Of course.
Though the Old Language was the same, Ginny was American, not European. The Irina of North America had been singing long before any European influence came to their shores. Even though Ginny had European blood, her teachers would likely have been indigenous North American Irina.
The song rose and fell in rhythm. He could see Kyra’s face glowing with Ginny’s power, but the song droned on, filling Leo’s chest with an intense longing. Something in his heart listened and understood what his mind did not.
This is how it will be.
Her song will give you life.
Her voice will lift you from darkness.
Find her voice.
Leo was a scribe of tradition and duty, but his mandate was no longer to obey his watcher first. His mission was to help his mate find her voice. She was a daughter of heaven, redolent with power. One day he would hear her sing as Ginny did. As Alyah did. As Sari did. In her own voice—in the voice heaven had given her—Kyra’s song would rise, and Leo would hear it.
“Vash shanda vet.
Vash vet Urielda. Vash vet Rafaelta.
Kulme shanda vet e livah.
Kulme vet. Oh Kulva vet.
Oh vet Urielda vashama.”
Leo felt tears roll down his cheeks, his heart pounding with the beauty and power of Ginny’s song. She called on Uriel, who gave the gift of life to all Irin sons and daughters. She called on Rafael’s healing.
Ginny was Rafaene. Like his mother.
That was why her life-giving songs were so potent. She was a healer of Rafael’s line. It was probably also why she didn’t want to work within the scribe house power structure. Healers had a tendency to be the independent sort. Even among scribes, they were given special dispensation from combat for long periods of time.
Ginny was a healer, and she was healing Kyra before his eyes.
Kyra’s face was luminous. Her eyes were closed, and he could see her pale skin glow with a golden light, as if Ginny’s power was radiating from the sun. It wasn’t unheard of. Leo had heard that Rafael’s line thrived in sunlight and avoided areas of the world with long periods of darkness.
He didn’t know how long she sang, only that as time passed, he could feel the power leaving Ginny—the manic energy she so often radiated—and feel it enter Kyra. He felt Kyra’s energy reaching out toward his like gold threads that entangled him. He didn’t realize he’d moved closer to her until their knees were touching. He stared at her. Her eyes were closed. Her face was lifted.
A hand patted his shoulder.
He blinked and looked up. Ginny was standing over him.
“Give her a little time to wake,” she whispered. “She’ll be fine. Her livah is very strong, but her mind is binding with her body right now. When she wakes, she’ll be very awake, if you know what I mean.”
Leo felt drunk by proximity. “What?”
Ginny patted his shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Have fun.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll see you back in Chiang Mai.”
“Okay.”
“Lock the door behind me. You won’t want to be disturbed.”
In a daze, Leo did as she told him, sliding the large wooden block across the door of the bungalow. Ginny had already closed the shades and lit candles before the ritual. The room was bathed in a gold glow, shadows softening the edges of Leo’s vision until everything he saw felt like a dream. He turned back to Kyra and realized her eyes were open.
Her eyes were more than open. They were on fire.
Chapter Nineteen
Come to me, reshon.
Kyra said the words in her mind, but Leo obeyed them as if she’d spoken. He walked over and picked her up off the ground, lifting her as she thrilled in his strength. Most days, when she looked at Leo, she saw his smile first. His gentle eyes. The kindness in his expression.
That night, she saw the corded muscles in his arms and shoulders, the firm set of his jaw, his narrow hips and strong thighs.
She was ravenous with desire. She wanted to consume him. She had no thought of herself or her own body. No self-consciousness. No nerves. She only knew her body hungered and it was for him.
As soon as he set her down on the bed and knelt beside her, she sat up, grasping the end of his white linen shirt and pulling up. He raised his arms and helped her as she undressed him. Her mouth found its way to his shoulder and she licked out, tracing the lines of his talesm with her tongue. His skin was hot and alive with magic. His marks were glowing, and she knew it was because of the power suffusing the air. It surrounded them like the scent of flowers and incense. Smoke from a fire that burned inside.
“Kyra, slow down. Breathe.”
“No. Off.” She tugged at his waistband. “Skin. I want your skin. I need it.”
Leo nodded and stripped down without another word. She tugged her dress over her head and pulled him over her, hugging his chest to hers as her legs tangled with his, and he held himself carefully over her so he didn’t crush her under the weight of his body.
Kyra wanted to be crushed. She ached with it. She wanted the pressure of his body over her. Wanted his weight and the solid mass of him pushing her down. She felt like she might fly out of her own skin if he didn’t anchor her.
Leo rolled to the side and wrapped her up, legs twisted around hers, arms binding her body to his. His hands were in her hair, and he guided her mouth to his. They were pressed together, every inch of her to every inch of him.
Kyra let out a breath she felt she’d been holding her whole life.
Ther
e.
There you are.
You are me and I am you.
We are home.
Leo released her lips and kissed all over her face, tasting every inch of her while Kyra’s hands explored his arms, back, and shoulders. Her foot slid up and down the back of his leg, and he shivered when her toes passed over the soft skin behind his knee. She lifted her leg and wrapped it around the back of his thigh, opening to him.
Leo groaned and closed his eyes. “Kyra.”
“Whatever you’re going to ask for, the answer is yes.”
“I want everything.”
“Yes. And yes again. And yes to more.”
He let out a breathless laugh. “Wait.”
“I’m ready.” She took his hand and placed it where his erection met her heat. She was more than ready. She burned for him.
Leo made a hungry sound in his throat and rubbed over the sensitive spot he’d teased so mercilessly a few nights before. Kyra’s arms tightened around his neck a second before she came violently against his hand.
“Please, Leo.”
“I love you.” He waited until she met his eyes. “You are my reshon.”
“I am your reshon,” she whispered.
He took himself in hand and guided his rock-hard erection into her, inching in even as she urged him to go faster. The pressure was intense, but the ache was driving her to madness. She felt a void where none had been before.
And then she was full.
Kyra cried out and wrapped both legs fully around his hips, drawing him in closer and deeper until he cried out and bucked his hips against hers.
“Coming,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Kyra, I’m—”
“I feel you.” She sank her teeth into his shoulder. It felt so good. Everything about him amazed her. He surrounded her and filled her.
He was still hard. Leo pushed up and rocked deeper into her. “Does it hurt?”
She couldn’t speak, but she shook her head. Nothing hurt. A small voice in the back of her mind told her it might hurt in the morning, but in that moment, she felt no pain. Her skin was exquisitely sensitive. She felt every inch of him. Felt the fine hairs on his legs and the quiver of his abdominal muscles as he moved carefully in her. She ran her hands up his arms and slipped her fingers over the corded muscles, tracing the dark lines that glowed brighter than the candles. She closed her eyes and let herself drift in sensation, shutting off her mind because she knew she was safe.
With Leo, she was always safe.
He came again after a few moments, lowering his chest to hers and capturing her mouth in a long kiss that made her toes curl. He remained snug in her, gathering her up as he rolled to the side.
“A few minutes,” he said. “Then again.”
“Yes.”
“I love you.
“I love you too.”
“How do you feel?”
“Amazing.” She kissed his collarbone. “I feel amazing.”
She must have fallen asleep, because she woke up as he was lowering her into a warm bath. The air smelled of frangipani and incense, and steam filled the small room.
“Come in with me,” she said. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“I will.” He took off the linen wrapped around his waist and slipped in behind her. As always, she was surprised and delighted by the way he moved. It would be natural for a large man to walk heavily, to move with purpose. But Leo moved with purpose and grace. He slid behind her and lifted her onto his lap. She could feel his arousal pressed against her back, but he didn’t seem to notice it, pouring warm water over her from the pitcher he filled from the tub.
“Are you sore?” he asked.
She shook her head. Her energy had smoothed out, but she still felt euphoric.
Leo poured the water over her head and smoothed her hair back, brushing it to the side and kissing her spine.
“When we have time,” he whispered, “when we are safe, I’m going to find the softest sable brush and mark your back with my vows. Pour my magic onto your skin and bind you to me forever.”
She smiled. “Greedy.”
“So greedy.” He drew over her shoulders with his fingers, and she could feel the brush of his magic even without the ritual. “And when you are ready, when you’ve found your voice, you’ll sing to me. And I’ll carve your vow over my heart and keep it with me forever.”
She shook her head. “Leo, I don’t know if that will ever be possible. I don’t know if anyone will ever trust me enough—”
“I know it is possible,” he said. “I’ve seen it. I know you’ll find your voice, Kyra. I’m going to help you find it.”
She was silent for a long time, thinking of what he asked. “And if I don’t?”
“If you don’t find your magic?”
“What then? Will you go through life half as strong? If I can’t give you your half of the mating ritual, will it make you weak?”
He squeezed his arms around her. “You make me strong.”
“You’re not answering the question.”
“Because I cannot imagine a future without you finding your magic. The Creator wouldn’t have put all this power in you with no way of your using it for good.”
Kyra closed her eyes and leaned back, laying her head on Leo’s shoulder as he pressed his cheek to her temple.
She loved Leo so much, but she also knew he could be naive. Kyra knew the world was far from fair. Not everything happened for a reason. Some fates were unavoidable. Evil did win. Not always, but often. Children died. Women suffered. The powerful ruled, and the powerless tried to survive.
But she loved him too much to say it. She loved him too much to darken his optimism. So she’d try. She’d pretend. Maybe if she loved him enough, it wouldn’t matter. He had powerful friends. She had powerful family. If they lived quietly, maybe they could find peace.
Kyra wanted to try, even if ultimately they failed. She needed to try. She didn’t have much hope, but she clung to what she had because the thought of losing a future with Leo hurt too much.
She fell asleep in the tub and woke on the bed with his kiss between her legs.
“Softly,” she whispered.
“Yes.” He’d shaved after their bath, and his smooth cheeks were warm on her inner thighs. He stretched across the bed, taking his time, luxuriating in her taste, and Kyra lay back and let the lingering ecstasy from the magic drift in her head. She closed her eyes and saw stars, but not the stars in the sky. These were a rising and falling pattern that grew brighter as Leo loved her.
Creation and destruction. In the heady moment of release, she saw the stars burst in her mind, raining around her without fading. They scattered and reorganized, chasing each other across her mind’s eye.
“Kyra,” he whispered.
Leo held her on the edge again; he didn’t push her over. When she came, it was because she reached for it, reached for the scattered, pulsing light. She grabbed it and tugged it to her lips.
She climaxed on a sigh.
Do you see it yet?
When Leo made love to her before dawn, it was in the glow of a single candle. Every other light had sputtered out.
Kyra pressed her palms to his hips and felt the steady rhythm as he moved in her. She looked up, watching his eyes devour her face, her breasts, her belly. Watched him as he watched himself move in her, awe and hunger parting his lips. He wet his bottom lip and clenched it between his teeth. She felt his muscles harden beneath her fingers as the tension built. Sweat dripped down his chest and abdomen. Kyra felt it drop on her belly as he moved faster and faster.
He was so beautiful.
At the last minute, he looked up and met her eyes.
Awe. Pleasure. Pain.
“I love you,” she whispered.
He gasped out her name and came, his marks lighting the dark room as the candle flickered out. In the darkness, he kissed her mouth, running his hands up and down her body as he stole her breath.
She slept with his arm an
d leg draped over her, his palm a pillow for her head. Kyra slept more deeply than she ever remembered before. In his touch was complete and utter silence except for a single voice.
His voice.
And it was whispering reshon.
Chapter Twenty
Leo slammed the Grigori’s head into the wall and watched him crumple unconscious to the ground as Niran held another up by his neck.
“Tell us where our sister is,” he said calmly, “or I’ll let him do that to you too.”
The young man was dressed as a monk, but Sura said it was only an insidious cover for the Grigori in this village. They dressed as monks to gain the trust of pilgrims, then took advantage of them. Many young women had disappeared in this secluded river valley. And though Niran, Sura, and Leo had searched the temple complex, they’d found no survivors.
“We haven’t seen your sister,” the Grigori said.
Niran tightened his hold on the man’s neck.
“But we’ve heard rumors!” he choked out.
Niran relaxed his hand.
“There was a woman. One of the untouchables. Two of our kind brought her to our brothers in the north. She was to be a gift for our father. They were only there for two days when they moved on. The brothers there said she killed one of them. He was bleeding from his ears. They said his mind exploded.”
“Where did they take her?” Leo asked.
“I don’t know.”
Niran’s hand clenched again.
“I don’t! She… she’s dangerous. We don’t want her here. We have a good relationship with the village.”
“Your ‘relationship’ is nothing more than a front,” Niran spat out. “You fool them into trusting you, then take their energy without their knowledge. You disgust me. You are a demon and an offense to heaven.”
“Most of them come willingly,” the Grigori said. “The girls like our attentions.”
A movement from the corner made Leo turn. It was Sura. He wore an expression that Leo had never seen before. It was utterly cold and looked alien on the gentle man’s face. They’d left Sura, Rith, and Alyah to explore the temple complex, searching for any women or children found there. As far as Leo knew, they’d found nothing.