Commander Willard hurried toward us from his speeder. He folded me into a hug that brought a lump to my throat. He had been my main Rebel contact since the early days.
He had heard about Alderaan, and he had feared the worst. He was so glad to hear I was safe.
Why did he have to mention Alderaan? The lump grew even larger, and I swallowed, forcing it down. Grief frightened me. It was so big, so total. I knew I had to feel every bit of it eventually. But not until after the battle.
So I told Willard that we had no time for sorrows. We had an attack to plan.
The countdown has begun. Artoo has been debriefed, and the Death Star plans have been analyzed. Pilots are being summoned from maneuvers, from surveillance, from rest, and ordered to suit up to attend the attack briefing.
General Dodonna is the best tactician we have. He’s in charge of the strategy of the attack and will conduct the briefing. He and Willard are closeted together, studying the plans.
So it fell to me to release the supplies to Han Solo for his reward. There was no one else, and Willard asked me as a favor.
I know Han was promised a reward. But we need those supplies desperately. The metals are vital to keep tech equipment running and for possible barter in the future. Willard asked if I could get Captain Solo to forgo the reward. “Use your charm,” he said. “That should melt him.”
The words “fat chance” floated into my head, but I didn’t say them. Solo and I had butted heads like bantha rams since we’d met. Not to mention that he’s a money-grubbing scoundrel.
I couldn’t tell Willard that. It was little enough to ask of me. I told him I’d do my best.
But once I was in the loading dock, watching Chewie load the supplies, I couldn’t seem to find the words. Use charm on Han Solo? I might as well try to charm that tentacled creature in the Death Star trash compactor.
I expected him to bargain over the amount, but he didn’t. He said it was less than he deserved—but it would do.
At that point, I would rather rip out my tongue than ask Han Solo for anything. But I’d promised Willard to try.
I’m afraid that my request came out more like a challenge. Why didn’t he think of someone besides himself for a change? The Alliance needed those metals. And we’d certainly put them to better use than squandering them in some dive of a cantina.
Han shook his head. Did I think he was going to leave this booty to get blown up with the rest of us? We were all about to be space dust. Did he look like a fool?
“Do you really want me to answer that?” I said.
Han put one booted foot up on a case and leaned on his knee. His face was close to mine.
He wasn’t saying that there wasn’t a time to stand. But sometimes, it’s better to retreat.
“You and me have seen that floating arsenal,” Han said. “A bunch of X-wings are gonna be like flies buzzing around it. You know what happens to flies?”
He smashed his hand down on a box. The sound made me jump.
If I was smart, I’d hop aboard his bus and blow this planet. Stay alive to fight another day. Wouldn’t it be better for my precious cause if I lived to tell the tale?
In his usual crude way, Han had laid out my choices. But he doesn’t know that there’s something more important than survival. Honor. I’d rather die standing than run away like a coward.
That’s what I told him. But he only thought I was insulting him again. He wasn’t a coward, he said. He saved my life, don’t forget.
How can I forget it when he keeps reminding me?
Besides, I saved my own life. He helped.
I left him there with his precious reward. I couldn’t stand to exchange another word with him. Not when all around me were pilots who were willing to die for our cause.
Luke is right. We could use Han’s skills. And I still have this feeling…. The three of us, for a brief time, had been partners. We managed to get off the Death Star together. Our union worked. It felt strong.
Every time I’m with him, I feel confused. Off balance. Something about him tugs at me, makes me wonder what he’s really like behind all that bluster. And something about him makes me want to give him a satisfying kick in the pants.
But I don’t have time to think about what might be. I’m being signaled over the comlink. It’s time for the starpilots’ briefing.
FOURTEENTH ENTRY
LOCATION: MAIN
HANGER/MASSASSI
OUTPOST
The briefing is over. Now I’m standing in the corner of the main hangar, watching the pilots ready their crafts.
Dodonna didn’t lower the odds. They’re slim. The Death Star has a stunning defense. It is poised for attack from a starfleet, a large-scale assault. With its massive firepower and powerful shields, it’s close to invincible. Can such a massive structure be taken down by a handful of one-man fighters?
The answer is… maybe. Dodonna is the one who figured it out. The Death Star’s size and strength is the very thing that will bring it down. Expecting armies, fleets, squadrons, the Imperials never counted on the speed, agility, and bravery of one small snub fighter.
The target area—a thermal exhaust port—is only two meters wide. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. If the shot is on the nose, it will start a chain reaction that will destroy the Death Star.
The hangar is noisy and crowded, but organized. Everyone moves quickly and efficiently. Tanks are being fueled and weapons and droids are readied and loaded. Seeing the tiny ships makes me wince, remembering Han’s comparison to buzzing insects.
But then I remember that even an insect can bring down a great beast—if the sting is accurate, and packs enough venom.
Luke’s confidence makes mine surge. Han stood at the briefing with his arms crossed, a look of skepticism on his face. But Luke was smiling as he paused to talk to me afterward.
“Don’t worry, Leia,” he said. “Dodonna’s right. It can be done. If I can bull’s-eye a womp rat in a T-16, an exhaust port will be a cinch.”
Luke sounds cocky to the more experienced pilots. They’re glad he’s joining them, but he hasn’t proven himself yet. He’s never even flown an X-wing before.
But I believe in him. I have that odd feeling again. I don’t know how I know this—but I know Luke’s survival is important to this battle, and to battles yet to come.
I’ve said a quick good-bye to Luke, wished him luck. I don’t want to distract him. My thoughts are with him, and he knows it.
Artoo is being loaded onto Luke’s fighter now. I’ve grown fond of that droid. There’s something special about him, something that goes beyond programming. I’m glad he’ll be with Luke.
Now the first of the fighters are taking off. The noise of the ion rockets is deafening. But I don’t want to leave the hangar yet. I’ll wait until the last fighter leaves.
They fly in formation, wings almost touching, light flashing on silver. They disappear into the cloud cover.
What do I feel? Hope, of course. But also plain old envy. I wish I was up there with them.
I can fly a craft, but I’m no fighter pilot. I wish I had the training. But once I became a Senator, all my energy was focused in that direction.
I’ll watch this battle from the war room. But next time, I’ll fight.
Dodonna was just here. He looked at me keenly, as if he knew what I was thinking.
“You’ve fought your own battles to get here,” he said. “We wouldn’t have this chance if it weren’t for you.”
It was a kind thing to say. But I want to do more. I want to be up there, blasting away with the rest of the pilots.
He touched my arm. He told me it was time to head to the war room.
I still lingered in the hangar for a moment. Off in a corner, I spied Threepio, looking lost. He stared out to the spot where the last ship had disappeared.
“Oh, dear me,” I heard him say. “Artoo, you must come back!”
The same cry was in my heart. Luke—you must com
e back!
I felt a rush of sympathy for poor Threepio. I called over to tell him that he could watch the battle with me.
He thanked me—at length. He didn’t know what he’d do if he had to wait alone. I know what he means.
He deserved to be there, I told him. He’d pulled us out of some tight scrapes. But I warned him he had to be quiet. I know what a chatterbox he is.
Threepio promised he wouldn’t breathe a word. Then, he hesitated. He waved one golden arm at the sky.
“A little reassurance on your part would be appreciated, Princess Leia. Do you think they can succeed?”
It doesn’t matter if they can, I told him. They must.
FIFTEENTH ENTRY
LOCATION: WAR ROOM/
MASSASSI OUTPOST
I’m going to record this great battle as it’s happening. Details could be important for future strategic plans. There will be a future.
I’ve stationed myself a few feet away from Dodonna, who will be the base commander to the pilots. I’ll be close enough to pick up his orders with the recorder, but not close enough to distract him. The recorder should also be able to pick up the pilots’ transmissions over the war room intercom.
I have a good view of the round readout screen. The X-wing fighters are blips that are now flying in formation, heading away from Yavin and its four moons.
The Death Star is heading toward us. The blinking light tells us where it is, and how fast it’s moving. The computer will mark the time and range of the Death Star throughout the battle.
Computer: Standby alert. Death Star approaching. Estimated time to firing range, fifteen minutes.
Leia: The TIE fighters just appeared onscreen, heading for our pilots.
Dodonna: Imperial TIE fighters heading your way.
Leia: The battle has begun. My eyes keep fixing on the dot on the screen that is Luke—Red Five. I know so many of the other pilots, too—Biggs, Wedge, Porkins.
The dots assemble into a new formation as the TIE fighters approach. Heavy laser fire follows their every maneuver. TIE fighters buzz behind them.
Luke is being closely pursued by a TIE fighter. Wedge and Biggs are maneuvering to cover him.
Got him! Laser fire from Biggs just blasted the TIE into the atmosphere.
One down. But we don’t have time to cheer.
Enemy fire is heavy. The pilots are dodging, climbing, barrel-rolling. But I can see that every maneuver is not only evasive action, but brings them closer to the goal—the long, narrow trench that leads to the exhaust port target. They’re close enough now for the Death Star’s massive laser guns to add to the fire. I can’t believe how much firepower is being leveled at our forces!
Some of the Red pilots have split off to divert fire. Luke is now heading toward the surface of the Death Star, blasting as he goes.
Something is happening to his ship. He’s going too fast, he can’t maneuver—
Biggs: Luke, pull out! Pull out! Are you okay? Do you read? Red Five! Luke!
Leia: Answer him, Luke! Have the g forces made him black out? I can’t speak…
Luke: I got a little cooked, but I’m okay.
Threepio: Thank the galaxies! Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Your Highness. I won’t breathe another word…
Leia: The ships circle back again. Even as blinking lights on a computer screen, the ships look determined.
Porkins! We just lost him. His blip just… disappeared.
TIE fighters approach, turbo guns blasting. They’re heading for Luke and Biggs. Hang on, Luke.
Wedge: Watch your back! Fighters above you!
Biggs: Luke, pull in!
Luke: I’m hit!
Leia: He’s hit… Luke…
Luke: …But not bad. Artoo, see what you can do.
Leia: Threepio and I are both straining, watching the blips on the screen as if we can help them by the sheer force of our concentration.
Unidentified voice: Heavy fire zone on this side. Red Five, where are you?
Luke: I can’t shake him!
Wedge: I’m on him, Luke.
Leia: Biggs and Wedge are both speeding toward Luke. But the TIE fighter is so close to Luke’s ship I could swear their wings must be touching. Biggs and Wedge battle for position to flank Luke. I see the beam of laser fire from ship to ship.
Then the TIE fighter explodes. Got him!
Luke: Thanks, Wedge. That was a little too close.
Threepio: I agree wholeheartedly, Master Luke… oh, I’m afraid I’ve—
Leia: Threepio just clamped a metal hand over his mouth. If he hadn’t, I would have.
Dodonna: I estimate five minutes until the Death Star is in range.
Leia: Five minutes! Not much time.
We just lost Gold Two. The blip that represents his ship brightened, then disappeared. Tiree—a good man gone.
Now Gold Leader is spinning out of control…
The ship exploded. Hutch is gone. He was my friend. He piloted me once to a mission in the Belassar system. Told me jokes the whole way.
I have my eye on Gold Five. Talos Merkin is a veteran of countless campaigns. He’s one of our best pilots. We can’t afford to lose him.
Fire hits his wing. The ship is struggling. Its path is unsteady. It’s spiraling out of control. No! Not Talos!
Computer: Death Star will be in range in three minutes.
Leia: Three minutes! Not enough time. We haven’t even struck one blow!
Dodonna: Red Leader, this is Base One. Keep half your group out of range for the next run.
Leia: Red Leader is now approaching the target. He darts away, circles back, evading fire. Now he’s in the trench.
He’s going… closer… closer… almost there… And now the missile is away…
It’s a hit!
But the Death Star is still on the screen. It’s just impacted on the surface. Still, it was a good solid hit. I hope it knocked Grand Moff Tarkin off his feet!
But Red Leader has lost his starboard engine. A TIE fighter is honing in on him.
I’ve been watching this particular blip. Unlike the other ships, it doesn’t dive and circle, or practice much evasive action at all. It is relentless. And it has taken down our best pilots. Who could be piloting that fighter?
I know the answer. It’s as though someone just shouted it in my ear. It is Darth Vader himself.
Red Leader just flared out and disappeared. Another pilot gone. The atmosphere is grim. We can count our time in seconds now.
I’ve started to pace.
Luke: Biggs, Wedge, we’re going in full throttle.
Biggs: Luke, at that speed will you be able to pull out in time?
Luke: It’ll be just like Beggar’s Canyon back home.
Leia: He sounds so calm, so confident. If anyone can do it, Luke can. I believe that with my whole heart and soul as Luke dives into the trench.
Biggs and Wedge drop behind to cover his rear. Luke is at full throttle now, barreling down the trench.
Wedge is hit and has to pull out. I’m watching the blip that I know is Vader. It’s honing in on Biggs. Not Biggs! No—
The X-wing just exploded. I… my heart hurts. I’d only just met him, but I was fond of Biggs. I remember his cocky salute to me as he climbed into the cockpit.
He was from Tatooine, too. Luke was his rival, his friend. Another loss for Luke. For all of us. We must win this battle!
Vader is behind him, and gaining. Not giving up. Never giving up.
A light just dimmed on Luke’s fighter blip.
Dodonna: What is he… Luke! You switched off your targeting computer. What’s wrong?
Luke: Nothing. I’m all right.
Leia: But is he? Without the computer, how will he be able to gauge distance and accuracy? I don’t—
I just had the strangest sensation. It was like Luke spoke to me. Trust me, he said.
I do.
The TIE fighters are closing in relentlessly. Luke’s ship remains steady. He’s still out
of range of their fire. But only by seconds.
Computer: The Death Star has cleared the planet.
We are now in range.
Leia: Hold on, Luke! But I can see the TIE fighters clustered around him. I can’t believe it has come down to this. One ship against so many!
Wait—a TIE fighter just exploded! And Luke didn’t fire…
An unfamiliar blip, moving from offscreen. I can see it now. Who is it? It’s not an X-wing.
Unidentified voice: Ya-hooo!
Leia: It’s Han! He came back! His bond with Luke must be greater than any of us knew. Or maybe his bond to the Rebellion?
One of the TIE wingmen just exploded. It’s collided with Vader’s ship! Vader is spinning out of control. He can’t maneuver! Now he’s off our screen, into deep space. Good riddance forever, I hope.
Han: You’re all clear, kid. Now let’s blow this thing and go home!
Leia: Blow it up, Luke! Send their molecules to the farthest reaches of the farthest galaxy. Do it!
The missile blinks as it approaches the target. It looks close…
It’s a hit! Dead on! The Death Star pulsed and disappeared.
He did it! He did it! Those cheers are from everyone in the war room. And I am cheering loudest of all. I can hear Han and Luke yahoo-ing again over the speaker like a couple of kids.
I wish I were with them.
Alderaan is avenged!
The radar blips are already heading offscreen. Luke and Han are coming back to base. I have to get to the hangar. I want to be the first one to congratulate them.
If I can manage to get loose from Threepio, who has decided to give me a metallic hug.
Yes, Threepio, they did it. They did it! Ow, stop hugging me! Or at least, watch your elbows.
SIXTEENTH ENTRY
LOCATION: SENATORIAL
QUARTERS/
MASSASSI OUTPOST
Willard suggested that an honor ceremony is in order, and we are all busy preparing for it. Artoo has been repaired and shined, and Threepio has asked four times for more metal palish.
It feels strange to be wearing a white gown again. I dressed this way for so long. But I’ve changed. I’m more a warrior than a princess now.