“I can get us in, if we can get past the guards waiting at the station,” Cole says finally.
“Okay. Let’s say, by some miracle, we make it past the firing squad after the doors open. Once we’re in, then what?” I ask.
“I know a place where we can hide out, at least for a little while. Then we go in search of the monitors,” Bruno says. He rubs the back of his neck.
“Whoa, hold on a minute. What about Sutton?” I ask. “We have to find him.”
“Our first mission’s to find the monitors and help them retrieve the information they need to end this.”
“Wait, what?” I ask, as my stomach plummets to the floor. “Why would we do that?”
“Think about it. You know Sutton better than all of us, and this is what he’s worked so hard for. If we don’t help the monitors succeed, nothing changes. We can’t hang the future on saving one man. We get to the monitors first, then save Sutton.”
I clench my fists and release them, allowing the anger to escape my fingers. I know they’re right, that it’s what needs to be done. I unclench my jaw and relax my shoulders.
“All right, but once we find them—”
“Lexi, one day at a time,” Cole says. “This isn’t going to happen overnight. There are only five of us. We’re up against hundreds of guards and thousands upon thousands of Sinners.”
“You’re right,” I say. “Don’t worry, I can do this.”
“I know you can.” Cole pulls me into a hug, and I soak in his warmth.
Bruno begins banging on the wall opposite the door, drawing people’s attention. “Aha, got you, bugger,” he says.
Grace gives him a funny look. “Bruno, what are you—”
Just then Bruno uses the heel of his boot and kicks through the wall, shattering glass and revealing a brightly painted red handle in a hidden compartment.
“Just a little trick I learned when I worked at the station.” He smiles. “Only a few know there’s an emergency door release. All I have to do is pull it when we get close, and we can jump out before the guards show up.”
“You’re a genius,” Cole says.
“Yeah, let’s just hope this sucker still works,” Bruno says. He sits down next to it, bringing Grace to his side. “When we slow enough to jump without breaking our legs, I’ll hit it, and the engineer won’t see the alarm in time to stop us.”
“All right then, tell us when,” Cole says, leaning his head back against the wall.
I lean against him, but I can’t rest. I can’t relax. Something is eating away at me. Aside from the fact that we’re heading into the lion’s den.
My attention’s drawn to the end of the railcar, where someone’s coughing. The rasping reminds me of holding Alyssa as she passed away in my arms. I place my hands over my aching heart, missing my friend. The figure’s body wracks and then goes silent. I let my eyes be drawn to the thin aisle separating slumbering bodies, and that’s when it hits me.
The small country church has only six pews on each side, all of which are empty. It’s night time, and it feels like someone threw a thick, black blanket over us. I can feel something’s not right when I see Keegan standing, empty-handed and shell-shocked, at the front of the church. The pastor’s kneeling down with Mom at the altar. My feet stop, and my breath catches. I subconsciously reach out to hold the pew next to me, and the smooth wood meets my fingers. I’m afraid to go any farther.
I watch as Keegan gently folds up the piece of paper he’s reading and motions for me. He’s not smiling. He’s not even cursing, for a change. His eyes look like two giant pieces of coal lodged in a pale face, and I step back.
“Lexi, Mom needs to tell you something,” he says with a broken voice. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. Or me. He’s whispering, but it feels like he’s shouting.
“Where’s Dad?” I ask, hesitantly moving away.
My mom’s head snaps up, her makeup smeared and eyes swollen. Terror begins washing over me, and cool sweat trickles down my forehead. Mom slowly stands, letting go of the pastor’s hands. She gives me a thin smile, but it brings me no comfort. Next thing I know, she’s standing before me, and she looks even worse up close. Her lower lip trembles, and she stops to take a breath.
“Daddy’s not coming home … ” she whispers.
“What do you mean? You told me he’d be home by the weekend.” I feel my voice come out sharp as a razor. I miss him. I want him home so I can swing with him and read stories with him before bed.
Mom grabs me, wrapping me in her arms, and I feel her shaking against me. “Lexi, I’m sorry, sweetie, but … he’s never coming home.” Keegan hugs her, enveloping me at the same time. His lank body smashes us all together.
I still don’t understand what she’s saying, and I’m fighting against them with my body, trying to be released.
“Lexi, your daddy always did what was right,” Mom says. “Even if it meant it would cost him everything. I want you to know that in the end, he made the right choice.” She’s wiping her face with a tissue, smudging more mascara beneath her eyes. “Because of that, he made some discoveries … that cost him his life.”
“What? What does that mean?” I push her away, but Keegan wraps his arms around my shoulders.
“I don’t think we’ll ever know.” It’s then that my mom, my usually composed, graceful, elegant mom, bursts into hysterics. Her hands shake, and her tears form a deluge of pain on her face.
What isn’t she telling me? How does she know that in the end, he chose losing his life over coming home to his daughter? His family?
Something dies inside of me. My dad isn’t coming home. Ever.
I remember the deluge of condolence cards from people all over the country. They were piled up in a huge box, unopened for the longest time before my mom felt strong enough to read them. One in particular always made me curious: the one from my stepfather and former Commander. It’s hard for me to understand how she could grieve so deeply for my father, and only a few years later, send me to the very place he abhorred: the Hole.
“Lexi, snap out of it!” Bruno slams down the red handle, and I hold my breath as the door releases, opening an inch.
Cole shouts as he shoves the door the rest of the way open. “Go!” He practically pushes me out of the moving railcar, and I fall in a heap on the dusty ground below. Zeus nudges me with his head, but I’m still trying to shake those memories from my head.
“Come on.” Cole’s in my face, dust and sweat streaking down his cheekbones, his eyes wide as he shakes me. “You all right?”
“Fine,” I say, even though I’m disoriented and scared out of my mind.
I fall in behind him, whipping my gun out from my waistband. I feel the whoosh of the train pass us and realize what’s happening. We’re weaving through roiling clouds of dust. The kind that gets into your pores, your hair, and your mouth. It makes me cough so I lower my head to keep from inhaling more. I can smell the familiar stench of the Hole from here, and bile fills my throat.
I slam into something unexpectedly. It’s Zeus. He barely budges when we make contact, but I bounce backward a bit. I’ve got to get my head in the game. Cole taps me on the shoulder and signals for me to move forward.
The train squeals quickly to a halt. The engineer doesn’t seem too worried about his cargo, that’s for sure. Sinners are the lowest forms of life in this country.
Then it’s silent. The dust fades, and I see the silver gleam of the last car just in front of Bruno. He’s sprinting like a madman, so I up my pace. The train lets out a sigh; maybe it’s tired of transporting Sinners to and from the Hole.
Our feet thump through the dirt. My heart’s bursting. I take one glance to my right, and I see the sharp outline of the wall against the sky. The sight alone brings me into focus. Sinners are jumping out of the car we were riding in, trying to escape. Their premature exit garners shouts from the guards. The rest of the doors slide open, and one by one, other Sinners exit from the right side of the
train. Bruno waves us on.
That’s when the sirens begin.
God help us. It’s straight from my nightmares.
But Bruno keeps going, so we keep moving forward, hunched down, along the railcars. I wonder about the young girl from our car, and my heart aches. My feet burn, and my breaths come quick. Even though we have yet to be spotted, I feel so exposed.
I hear a resounding bang, unfamiliar to my ears.
I stop in my tracks. I grab Zeus’s collar and pull him to me. The ground quakes under my feet. Cole jerks to a halt behind me. Bruno keeps running. Grace looks back, worry plastered on her face, but she keeps pace with him.
“Run!” Bruno yells over his shoulder.
Adrenaline surges from my feet to my brain. We sprint to catch up, separated by about fifty yards.
Boom! Something explodes behind us. A plume of smoke rises from the dust. The earth vibrates beneath my feet.
I hear it fire again from the direction of the walls. What the hell is that? We’re one car past the one we jumped out of.
Boom!
A few feet behind us, a thunderous explosion radiates, propelling all of us onto our faces. Burning, ripping heat feels like it’s melting my skin. Am I alive? I’ve landed on my chest. My hands are curled into balls. My pack’s gone. My gun’s gone. Everything’s dusty, blurry, charred metal and jagged edges. I open my hand and feel fur. A tongue works its way up my arm. Zeus is okay. A hand hooks under my arm and pulls me to my feet. In the haze, Cole’s mouth is moving, but my ears are ringing so loudly I can’t hear him.
Moments pass. “Go!” he’s yelling. I try to focus on his face. Behind him is a burning ball of metal and carnage, and I can’t seem to tear my eyes away. I want to cry and scream and kick. I want to fight back. I want to crawl into a ball. I want to go home.
Cole screams and points in the direction of the train. There’s an enormous hole in the side of the railcar; shredded metal peels outward like the petals of a blackened flower in bloom. I stagger, the realization weighting me down. They just blew up the car we were in, all those other people. Cole shoves me forward, then drags me along at a cripplingly slow pace.
So much for needing me alive.
I struggle to keep up as my legs betray me, my knees wobble, and my hands tremor. Where is Bruno? Grace? Thick smoke, flames, and dust hide them from my view. Feeling around my waist, I remember my gun has been lost in the blast. Up ahead is hell, and we are running straight into it. My dad’s words echo in my head. You can survive anything, short of death.
We’re almost in the main rail yard. Its overarching, dark green metal beams and roof make it stand out on the horizon. Inside, it looks dark. For once, I welcome the darkness. I whisper a prayer as I run on lead feet. Please let Bruno and Grace be alive. Please let Sutton survive long enough for us to reach him. And for the love of all that’s holy, please help us stay alive.
Cole makes his way over the tracks. I can tell his familiarity with the Hole has kicked in because his movements seem to come with ease. He looks so natural weaving in and out and over the tracks that brought us here, almost like he belongs. I push these dark thoughts to the back of my mind and try to focus. The rail yard is dark, but the sun blazes over our heads, slicing through the haze that threatens to drown us. I ignore the sweat trickling down my skin.
It’s insane that I never noticed any of this when he drove me to the Hole the first time. I was so fixated on the walls and the commander’s quarters that I completely missed the intricate setup of the rail system right outside the main entrance. And because I was never assigned a job outside the Hole, like many of the other Sinners, I never had occasion to take it all in. Until now.
“Umph!” Air rushes from Cole’s lips as a guard hits him from the right side, out of nowhere, knocking him to the ground. My breath catches in my throat. They struggle for control, writhing around in the dirt. Zeus jumps to Cole’s aid, snarling ferociously and biting the guard’s leg.
Without a second thought to my own safety, I whip out my knife and move forward. And then I feel the hard, metal barrel of a gun pinned at the side of my head. Holy hell! Where’d that come from?
“Hands in the air where I can see them,” a voice says in a demanding tone. I slowly begin raising my hands, wondering if he’s seen my knife. I need to move fast. I close my eyes briefly, listening to the melee.
“Faster,” he says. He pushes the gun harder against my temple. I grimace. “Hey, drop the—” Before he can finish, I position my right arm behind his gun and slam it forward.
The gun fires an inch away from my face. It burns. My head vibrates with a horribly loud and unbearable ringing. But then my training kicks in. With lightning speed, I elbow him in the face. He drops his gun, stumbles a few steps back, and lets out a groan. Blood runs across and down his lips. When he raises his hands to his nose, I stomp on his foot. He buckles forward. Then, just before he has a chance to dive for his gun, I shove the knife into his gut, deep, past the layers of his bulletproof vest.
The sickening sound of puncturing human flesh makes my stomach roil. But I had no other choice; it was either him or me. As I push his bumbling body away from me, his face registers shock. His eyes loosely focus on mine and start to glaze over. He slowly loses consciousness and falls to the ground with a thud at the same time a single shot is fired from where Cole and the guard wrestle. And then silence. I can’t hear anything. And for a moment, I don’t know if Cole is alive.
I franticly move in his direction, disoriented. I follow the blood-splatter pattern, silently praying that he’s okay. That Zeus is okay.
When I lay eyes on him, he’s winded, standing, and wiping his hands on his clothing. Blood smears the fabric of his shirt and pants as his chest heaves rapidly up and down. He picks up his gun and that of the guard who lies at his feet.
“Oh my God, I thought you were dead … I couldn’t see you.”
“Nope, like I told you before, I’m not going to die,” Cole says, pulling me into a quick hug. He picks up his shredded pack and then pets Zeus on the head. “Thanks, buddy. I owe you one.” Cole turns his attention back to the supplies that have fallen out. I quickly join him in picking up whatever I can save. Zeus sniffs at the dead bodies, and I call him away.
Cole takes my hand. “Run,” he says, releasing my hand again as if to free me.
“I’m right behind you. Go,” I say.
His veins pop out of his forearms, and his sweat stains his shirt. He checks over his shoulder before running.
I take off as instructed, barely noticing the bodies lying in the dirt, following behind him and Zeus. It feels like time is playing games with us, extending the path to the rail yard every time I look up. One minute, it seems right there. The next, it looks like five hundred feet. But we’re vulnerable out here in the open. So we keep going.
I continue willing my legs to move, one step and then another. The gunfire has died down, and I’m afraid to admit that I’m feeling better, maybe even hopeful that we just might make it back into the Hole. Just then, Zeus begins growling, and the hair on his back shoots up. My heart jumps. I see Cole tense briefly, then follow his gaze, left to right, behind us, ahead of us, and into the train we’re now running alongside. Zeus bares his teeth. He barks once. Cole raises his gun, eyes roaming.
A figure appears out of the darkness. I still. Seconds pass, and Cole doesn’t move.
Zeus bolts forward, and Cole runs after him.
“Man, took you long enough,” Bruno says. “Hurry up; I got us a ride.”
“How’d you manage that? Bruno, we don’t have any money,” Cole says.
“Doesn’t matter. She’s an old friend who owes me a favor, let’s just leave it at that.”
“Why am I not surprised,” Cole says with sarcasm.
“And check this shit out—the monitors are already here.”
We follow Bruno into the black of the building. As my eyes adjust to the lighting, they water and burn. That feeling in the pit of
my stomach, the one that has been gnawing away at me since I decided to return, churns. I’m nauseous.
Grace jumps out of the shadows and hugs me. She squeezes the air out of me, and it takes me off balance. She’s covered in a fine layer of gray, but the relief in her eyes when she steps back warms my heart.
“Guys, hurry it up,” Bruno hisses. “And keep your heads down.”
Cole glances at me, raises an eyebrow, and strides forward.
We jog past the giant turntable where multiple engines and railcars are parked. Behind each parked engine is a workroom, but none of them have lights on. My heart jumps in my chest as we pass the engines. Their large, silent frames remind me of hearses, empty and silent, waiting for the dead to ride in them. I shake the nightmarish image from my mind and fix my eyes on Cole’s back.
“The monitors are already here?” Cole asks, barely raising his voice above a whisper.
“Yeah, she told me they’re going in as we speak,” Bruno says, turning around.
“Who’s your source?” I ask. “And how can you know for sure you can trust her?”
“Let’s just say she’s an old friend … a guard. She’s agreed to help us,” Bruno says. I raise my eyebrows and glance at Cole then Grace.
“Well, hey, this is good news … for once,” Grace says. She shrugs at the mention of Bruno’s contact, so I let it slide.
“They showed up, unannounced, like Sutton said they might. And they’re taking a convoy in. Wilson has no choice but to allow it,” Bruno says. He waits for it all to sink in. “Just say it—you know I’m a damn genius.”
“More like pure luck,” I say, even though we’ve been back all of five minutes and Bruno has already gotten us a ride and useful intel.
“You just don’t want to admit I’m awesome.” Bruno laughs. “Now, be quiet. She has no idea what kind of cargo I just convinced her to take in.” Cole and I lock eyes. I roll mine. Bruno is anything but modest.
“How long until your secret contact gets here?” The sarcasm in Cole’s voice cannot be ignored. I chuckle.
“Soon. Just relax. And shut that useless mini horse up.”