“I’m scared. Really scared, and I don’t know what to do.” She stumbles over her words and shakes her head. Now she looks up and stares at the ceiling. She slowly lowers her head, as if it pains her to do so. “If I tell you something I need you to promise you won’t say a word to Bruno about this.”
“Okay.”
“No, I mean it. Not a single word. If he finds out, there’s no telling what he’ll do. You have to promise me you won’t tell him, or anyone else.” There is fear and determination on her face. I have never heard her use that tone of voice.
“Whatever it is, it’s your business to tell, not mine.”
She covers her face with her hands and starts crying. “I’m … pregnant.”
I feel the weight of my body drop to the floor, yet I remain standing. My knees lock, and my eyes open wide with shock.
“Oh dear Lord,” I say. “Are you sure?” I move my legs forward and lean against the wall next to her. At the same time, we lower ourselves to the ground. I pull my knees into my chest and turn my head in her direction.
“I’ve never been late. Never. And I tried to push it aside and blame stress, but it’s not. My boobs are killing me, and I mean killing me. I’m nauseous all the time, and my last period was two months ago. I want to be happy, but I’m petrified.” She sits cross-legged and twiddles her thumbs. “We have to get out of here before he’s born.”
“He? How do you know it’s a boy?”
“Let’s just say it’s an intuition. My mother has the same thing. She was always right when it came to guessing the sex of someone’s child.”
She can’t be happy about being pregnant with the situation we’re in right now. I weigh my words carefully.
“I’m sorry; I can only imagine how scared you must be, but it’ll be all right. We’ll keep you and the baby safe. We’re going to get out of here. We will.”
Grace grabs my hands. “You can’t tell Bruno, okay? You have to promise me this stays between us.”
“Grace, I’m not a liar. I’ve been lied to so many times I refuse to do the same to others.”
“You’re not lying; you’re just not going to say anything to anyone. Okay?”
“Don’t you think Bruno has the right to know his wife’s pregnant?”
She shakes her head slowly, releasing her grip on my hands. It almost makes me dizzy. “No. You don’t understand. We’ve been trying for years to get pregnant, and it never happened.” She releases a loud exhale. “We both want to be parents in the worst way, and if he finds out now, it’s going to ruin everything.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’ll only worry about me and the baby. He won’t be able to focus on the mission. That would lessen our chances of helping Roméo, finding Sutton, and getting out of here. I’m telling you, this man will go berserk if he finds out. He loves me so much, and if he knew I was carrying our child, he would be too distracted to perform his duties. And I don’t want to leave him, or any of you guys.”
“I’m so sorry, Grace. I don’t know what to say. A part of me wants to be happy for you because it’s what you’ve always wanted, but another part of me is afraid for you and the baby.”
“I know. It’s okay. I’m not even sure what my feelings are anymore. Not telling him hurts because I feel so alone in this.”
“So that’s why you told me?”
“Yes, I had to tell someone or I was going to start freaking out. Zeus knows. But that’s it.”
I laugh out loud and so does she. “He’s a great secret keeper … He knows all of mine too.” I sigh. “Well, I’m glad you told me. This way I can think of things to keep you behind us and out of danger. Not all of us can go above ground, a few will always have to stay and protect what we have stored down here. In your condition, you can’t throw yourself around and dodge bullets.”
“I won’t do that; plus, I have all of you to help protect me.”
“Good point.”
“So you promise this stays between the two of us?”
“I can promise I won’t volunteer the information … but I’m not going to lie if he asks me.”
“Oh, he won’t … He’s not that intuitive.”
“Okay, stand up. I want to give you a hug.”
We both get up onto our feet, and I hug her tight.
“Thank you,” she says. “I really needed a friend.”
“Me too, Grace. Me too.”
A monitor survived the attack.
Cole finishes washing his face, and I take a turn at the sink. We haven’t said much to one another since discovering the monitor. The tension between us is thick and heavy. We move around like strangers, only speaking in please and thank yous.
My head’s going to explode from all the secrets and information stored inside. I smooth my hair and tuck curls behind my ears. Staying alive, scavenging for food, and running is all I know. I have no idea what day or month it is. I don’t even know if I’ve turned nineteen yet. The only thing I’m sure of is that the Hole is brutal and hot … and tends to bring out things in people you’d rather not see.
Like Cole, for instance. I trust him and know he loves me, but since we got here, he hasn’t been himself. Then again, maybe I didn’t really know him to begin with. Maybe the Cole I met here is the real Cole. I begin pacing as my doubt gets the best of me.
Cole steps in front of me and places his hands on my shoulders.
“Hey, what’s going on with you?” he asks. Finally.
I shake my head. “I’m fine … just trying to wrap my head around everything. Does it make sense to you? We saw what they did to the motorcade. Who could have survived that? Who could survive that and then somehow find this place?”
“Look at me,” he says.
I do.
“Okay, now take a deep breath.” I inhale deeply and slowly exhale. “Good. Now listen to me. Okay?” I nod. “Whatever this monitor, Roméo, is about, we will figure it out. Right now, he’s our best chance to get the drop on Wilson and to find Sutton. I know it’s a huge risk and we’re really throwing ourselves out there, but I think there’s a good chance this guy could be our ticket out of here.”
It makes a lot of sense, but something is nagging at me. “I don’t know, Cole. Nothing has really been going our way, and now all of sudden we just happen to find the person we’re looking for here?”
“You’re starting to sound so cynical, like Bruno.”
A slight smile plays on his lips and for a minute, I think he might kiss me. I want him to kiss me.
“Maybe Bruno’s right,” I say.
“Well, whatever that guy’s hiding, Bruno will get it out of him. You can be sure of that.” I look at him skeptically and frown.
“I can’t sit around waiting for him to talk. We need to do something. Now.”
“I know. Let’s go above ground, do some recon. Someone has to know something. Someone has to have seen something.”
“Yeah, but you know how it is in the Hole. You keep your mouth shut, don’t make waves. Who is gonna tell us anything?” I don’t need to tell him how intimidating he looks or how much Sinners hate guards.
“Well, we have to try, Lexi. Sutton needs us to get proof of what’s been going on here, and that’s what we have to do. OK?”
I inhale deeply, the weight of it all threatening to crush me.
“Okay,” I say quietly.
“Now let’s get ready.” He kisses the top of my head, and my eyes flutter. I reach for him, but he steps away and straightens his shoulders. I notice the extra magazines he’s stowed away in the tan vest he wears over his t-shirt.
“What? No handgun?” I ask.
He smiles and pats his thigh. “Doubting me, are you?”
“Of course not. Not when it comes to fighting.” I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.
Cole looks cross for a second. Then he turns to walk away. I follow him out of the bathroom and into the hallway where the light flickers above our heads three times. I glance at
Cole, but he’s looking up. A thundering noise pounds above us, and I wonder what it could be. I clasp my hands together and feel my palms already sweating.
We go through a series of hallways, each getting narrower with every turn. The cool air gives me goose bumps.
At first, it feels like we’re wandering through an endless maze, but the last turn leads to a hallway that opens into a wider tunnel. Immediately, I know where we are.
It takes everything within me to restrain my emotions. So much has changed since I stood here, praying we’d all survive the revolt against the Commander and his regime. In front of me were Sheldon and Keegan, brave and determined. I remember how hot it was in my full gear, hoping Cole was alive and trusting in Sutton’s plan. I grit my teeth remembering my friends, some of them in their last moments of life, fighting to hold on.
Veronica lay bleeding out on the top of the wall, Sheldon fell over the edge, and Sutton was shot. And then, Keegan. God, his death will forever be imprinted in my mind.
“Lexi,” Cole calls me out of my daze. From the expression on his face, I can tell he knows I’m reliving every inescapable and horrific moment of it.
He brings his first two fingers to his eyes and mouths the word “focus.” I thrust out my chest and clench my jaw. I can’t let the past cloud the future. After all, I still have him and Sutton. Because we will get him back.
The siren’s wailing when we exit the underground. Its piercing scream rattles my nerve endings, and my hands shake just the slightest bit. It’s early, but no one’s going to work anymore, so I’m not sure why they even bother with the siren. Maybe it’s just habit or maybe it’s to keep the Sinners on edge. Either way, it has an unnerving effect.
Our mission has changed slightly. We didn’t expect for things to go this way. We came here to get Sutton. However, now that all but one of the monitors is dead, we need to find a way to get the information that will put Wilson away.
Roméo, the monitor Bill captured in the underground, has quite a bit of interest in how things in the Hole work. I guess having your colleagues slaughtered on arrival will do that to a person. But, as optimistic as I am, I’m having a hard time believing that he survived and miraculously found his way to the underground.
Cole and I creep silently through the streets. Our objective is to figure out where the records are kept and do reconnaissance for Roméo. Deep down, I’m torn about doing anything that delays rescuing Sutton.
The siren stops, and I realize I haven’t really been paying attention. Deafening silence permeates the air. Cole holds up his fist. I stop in my tracks. He kneels in place with Zeus at his side. I hunker down beside him with Zeus at my elbow, panting and slobbering all over my pants.
“Ew, thanks a lot Zeus.”
Of course, he licks my hand, and I give him a quick hug and kiss the top of his head.
“Hey, do me a favor and don’t get hurt, okay?” I say to him. His wounds, luckily, have healed nicely, and there’s no puss or drainage anymore.
And then something strange happens. A blaring sound of feedback, like that from a microphone too close to a speaker, deafens my ears. A voice, high-pitched and sharp, strikes me immediately.
“Miss Hamilton,” the high-pitched voice says.
I stop breathing and cringe. It’s Wilson. My hands grasp my gun tighter as I contemplate what to do.
“I want to personally welcome you back,” the voice continues.
I suck in air, pushing myself against the wall of the cement building, using it to hold me up while looking around, left, right, up, and back at Cole, whose face slowly turns red.
“That bastard … ” Cole says. His jugular vein bulges from his neck as he looks around, his finger tense above the trigger of his gun.
“You have a decision to make. But let’s think about everyone at stake here, shall we?” Wilson pauses and breathes into the microphone. “There are a few people left in your life that I know you care deeply for, and if you want the opportunity to save their lives, you will turn yourself in by midnight tonight. But, if you refuse, I promise you this: you will be hunted down, and I will stop at nothing to find you.” He clears his throat and coughs. “And your refusal to surrender won’t only cost the lives of the ones you love, but it could very well cost the lives of hundreds, if not thousands of Sinners, as well. Do you want thousands of lives lost when you could spare them all? Think about all the blood you could shed, Lexi Hamilton. And to everyone listening, the person who delivers Miss Hamilton to me, alive, shall be set free.” He laughs, but I hear the vicious edge to his tone. “Oh. I almost forgot. There’s one last thing. Sutton’s clock is ticking. Soon his body will rot for weeks in the burning sun, just like your brother Keegan’s did.” And then, the microphone shuts off with a loud banging noise.
I’m stunned. My jaw hurts from grinding my teeth, and I have to tell myself to breathe to keep from screaming obscenities.
So Clayton was telling the truth. Wilson did have Keegan’s body on display for days after his death. I want to rip out Wilson’s throat with my bare hands. But now that he’s promised freedom to Sinners, we have to be much more careful. We can’t afford to let anyone we encounter live. The thought makes me ill.
God, why can’t I be as merciless as Wilson?
But I can’t be that way. It’s against everything I’ve been taught. I won’t leave Sutton behind. I won’t fall for Wilson’s lies. He’d never let my friends, Cole, and Zeus walk away alive. And they’d never agree to hand me over to save themselves. We just have to figure out a way to beat him at his own game.
Cole places a supportive hand on my leg, and I catch eyes with him. He shakes his head, his mouth set in a firm line.
“Don’t you dare believe a word of it,” he says. “He won’t get near you; I’m not going to let that happen.” Cole holds his gun ready, his jaw set in place, determination in his eyes. If he’s not afraid, then I’ll be strong too.
Wilson’s words echo in my ears. I try to concentrate on the sound of our feet thumping on the ground. Zeus keeps a steady pace along Cole’s side. But a small voice in the back of my head has me second-guessing every move we make. It’s only a matter of time before they find us. We are outnumbered, outgunned, and malnourished, we have everything to lose.
We come to the intersection where, during the revolt, one of the squads branched off to go to the hospital and my team went to breach the Commander’s headquarters. Even now, the memories seem so vivid, so real. My heart drums. I look right, the way I went before, but then Cole turns left. We’re heading toward the hospital.
When I swallow, dust gets caught in my throat. It makes me cough and soon, I’m gagging. Cole stops when he realizes I’m not following him. Zeus loops back around and nudges my leg with his giant head.
“Lexi. Breathe. I’ll get you some water. Breathe, dammit,” Cole says and begins rummaging through his pockets. His fingers move fast as my eyes tear. He brings a canteen of water to my lips. I struggle to get it down between coughs. The cool liquid runs down my throat and washes away the phlegm. He puts a hand on my face. There is so much unspoken between us in that moment, it weighs me down. He doesn’t want to say it. He would never say it. But the truth is, we are going to die. We are going to die, and Sutton is too.
A tear runs down my cheek. Cole wipes it away. He looks like he is about to say something, but then he closes the canteen and returns it to his pocket.
Zeus circles, feeding off Cole’s energy. My body tenses, and Cole’s goes rigid. What’s happening? Suddenly, he yanks me into the shaded part between two buildings, slamming my shoulder into the wall. Oh my God. What is happening?
“What the—”
Cole puts his finger to my lips. He quickly draws his gun and then pushes Zeus’s head behind him. Footsteps approach.
Judging from the uneven rhythm, it sounds like a group of people. Zeus’s ears perk up, and he sits at attention. His eyes hyper-focus on the street, small woofs coming from his mouth.
&nbs
p; Cole slams himself against the wall, sneaking looks around the corner. His finger stays ready above the trigger. I cut my eyes toward the source of the noise, my breath coming in uneven bursts.
“No stopping,” a voice commands.
I don’t hear a reply and can’t see past Cole’s shoulder. His stiff posture and the way he slowly backs away from the entrance of the alleyway tell me he’s just as worried as I am. Why can’t he be honest about how he feels? Why must he always put on a brave face?
“No, sir, please!” someone screams.
“Get back in line, or I’ll shoot you. Your choice,” the guard says.
“I’d rather die,” the voice says.
“As you wish.”
There’s a gunshot and more screams. What in God’s name is going on? I cringe away from the sound as moaning and crying replace the screams. I picture another lifeless body in the street and want to throw up. No matter how many times I’ve seen it, it doesn’t get easier.
With his back still flattened against the wall, Cole turns his head toward me. His eyes are wide with adrenaline as sweat trickles down his dirty face, like paint dripping down a wall. His lips are pressed thin, his jaw tight. Once again, he says nothing, but instead turns back toward the entrance just in time for the people to come into view.
I suck in air.
Guards parade a group of about fifty Sinners, like stray dogs, through the street. As the Sinners walk, they stumble. Their eyes look tired, and their bodies look weak from malnutrition and disease. They’re dirty, and their clothes are in tatters. Some bleed. Some of them weep as they walk, and others wear blank stares, eyes glazed over. The first guard leads and instructs them while the others surround the group and make them move faster.
“When it’s over, you go back to your homes,” he says in a demanding tone. He turns around and leads the sad group down the road. “You hear me? Straight home.”
A face in the crowd flicks in my direction.
No!
I jump back into the shadows, sure she’s seen me. My pulse races. I can’t breathe.