The next morning, she lay curled in his arms for awhile before moving. One bicep filled the hollow of her neck while his other arm was tight around her midsection. She felt horrible: Mentally drained, hungry, disappointed she wasn’t at the bottom of a cliff somewhere.
“I’m not sure I should let you go.” Gabriel’s gravelly voice reminded her of one of the reasons she’d snapped in the first place. “You have an affinity for jumping off tall things.”
“Gabriel,” she whispered, eyes watering.
“No,” he said. “I’m not letting you off that easy.”
“Easy? This week has been hell.” She strained to move, regretting she couldn’t have one small moment of peace.
He didn’t release her, instead drawing up the arm she used as a pillow to force her head against his shoulder. She wasn’t able to maneuver in his firm grip. Deidre sighed, her body going lax once more. His body relaxed in response. His arm fell away, and she repositioned her neck over his bicep. She really didn’t want to leave the comfort of his arms. Whatever she faced there was a million times better than whatever she faced away from him.
“Can you read my mind?” she asked.
“If I choose to.”
“And have you chosen to?”
“Last night was the first time. You were too distraught to speak,” he answered. “I needed to know why.”
“Doesn’t seem like rocket science. I find out I was a sociopathic deity. You issue me an ultimatum I can’t live with and then make out with some lady at the lake. Oh, and I picked up someone else’s soul last night,” she said. “Yesterday was not a good one. We’re through, by the way, Gabriel.”
“Keep telling yourself that.”
“If I’m keeping you from your lover, by all means, you can go.”
“You weren’t supposed to see that,” he said quietly.
“Famous last words.”
He chuckled. “Will you try to tell me now you weren’t jealous?”
“You read my mind already. You tell me,” she replied.
“You were crushed.”
Deidre said nothing.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Yes, you did,” she said. “You don’t tell someone you’ll never be able to care for them and think you’re doing anything other than hurting them. But your offer won’t change.”
“It can’t.”
“Then we’re still through.”
“I’m upholding my end of our arrangement.”
She really didn’t want to leave the comfort of his arms, but remaining meant giving up something she wasn’t willing to do.
“You’re not running,” he said cautiously. He smoothed the hair from the side of her face. His kiss on her temple was light.
“That isn’t an invitation,” she warned him.
“You were a helluva lot easier to bed in your past life.” The frustration in his voice was clear.
Deidre moved away from him. He released her. She settled on her belly a couple of feet away, glaring at him. Gabe remained on his side, hand propping up his head. Even relaxed in bed, he seemed ready to take on the world.
“You’ve got a back-up plan,” she told him. “She’ll likely take your arrangement.”
His jaw clenched, his piercing gaze making her want to crawl back into his arms.
“You know that already,” she assessed. “Why are you wasting your time with me? Another part of your duty?”
“After your encounter with the souls, I think you understand why I take it so seriously. There’s no room for failure, not when the souls of the dead depend on you.”
Deidre gazed at him, her throat tightening at the reminder of the lost souls. She wanted to ask more about them and what happened after Death claimed someone, but it was a lot to deal with. She didn’t feel up to it.
“I can see that,” she managed. “You have my blessing. Not that you need it.” She sat up and hopped off the bed, too aware of how alone she felt. She had no idea what to do with herself or where to go.
“I may have to, if no part of you is interested.”
A glance at him revealed he, too, was climbing out of bed. He appeared even more frustrated. She didn’t understand it, not when he obviously had another woman. Her jacket was draped over a chair across the room. She went to claim it.
“Do whatever you want,” she snapped. “If I’m stuck in the land of the living, I’m going to live a normal life. A human life. New apartment, shitty job, boyfriend I can’t stand. The whole works.”
He was silent. She tossed the coat over her arm and turned. He was frozen in place, bristling. The look on his face was dangerous. Deidre studied him, uncertain what she said that set him on edge. It didn’t make sense that there was, especially after he’d admitted to having someone else on the side.
“Don’t come after me,” she added, striding to the door. “I’m done with this Immortal shit.”
“Wait.”
She found herself stopping, hoping. Deidre chided herself but didn’t move.
Gabriel walked across the room to a dresser. He opened the top drawer and withdrew a key chain with a couple of keys and a tag. He tossed them to her. Deidre frowned.
“What do they go to?” she asked.
“Apartment in Atlanta. Address on the label.”
“I can do it myself,” she said.
“Unless you have more money than you’re carrying in your backpack, I don’t see you getting an apartment,” he said, amused. “Or going back to the one with the dead body in the tub.”
She gasped at the reminder.
“Take it.”
“You’ll know where I am,” she objected. “Not exactly a clean start.”
“I’ll know where you are anyway,” he pointed out. “There’s nowhere you can go where I can’t find you. The reverse is true as well. If you run into trouble, ask the portals to bring you to me.”
She wasn’t sure which baffled her more: that he happened to have an apartment in Atlanta or he wasn’t trying to talk her out of leaving. Maybe it was his way of fulfilling his end of the bargain she’d refused by making sure she had a place to stay. Every day she spent in this world, she became more confused.
“Whatever. I’ll consider this temporary,” she said at last. “Until I find my own place.” She waited for him to say something else. Shaking her head, she turned to leave again.
“How about a farewell kiss?” he asked.
“You have a lot of nerve.”
“I’ll consider it a favor. I’ll owe you one. You don’t know what Immortals would do for a blank check from Death.”
She wasn’t an Immortal, but a blank check from a deity had to be valuable.
“For a single kiss?” she asked. She turned to face him and leaned against the door, hand on the knob.
“That simple.” He was already approaching her and stopped just before his body met hers.
Deidre gazed at the expanse of his chest, all too aware of his strength and heat. Her blood was humming from waking in his bed. Suddenly, a blank check – even from Death – didn’t seem like enough for what his one kiss might cost her.
“Deal?” he asked.
She wet her lips and nodded, unable to speak.
Gabriel cupped her face in his large hands and tilted it up. He gazed into her eyes for a long moment, the tenderness she recognized from their night together present. Deidre didn’t expect to see it, not after how he’d treated her the past few days. His look melted her anger. She almost believed Katie’s words about Gabriel always loving her.
Magic flared through her as their lips met. He was gentle, the man who made love to a woman he thought was dying. It was harder and harder to justify not yielding to his arrangement, if only for the pleasure of his body. She deepened the kiss, and he responded with his own hunger. His hands traveled down her arms and settled on her hips, drawing them against his. With a groan, Deidre leaned into him, tasting and feeling his arousal. She’d wanted a second ni
ght with him since the first, and the passion of his kiss reminded her of how incredible it was to be the center of his world.
Any resistance she felt was on fire. He withdrew, kissing her face while his hands slid up her shirt. They burned her sensitive skin.
“Wanna stay a little longer?” he whispered, nipping her neck then trailing kisses towards her collarbone.
“Yes,” she sighed. “No. God, I don’t know.” She had to resist him. What she had left of her dignity depended upon it.
“Make up your mind,” he said with a husky chuckle.
“Stop,” she said miserably.
“One of us has sense,” he said as he obeyed. Gabriel smoothed her cheeks.
Deidre wasn’t able to ponder the meaning behind his statement.
“No boyfriends,” he growled. “No one else touches you, Deidre.”
And you? She wanted to ask. Instead, she was working hard to convince herself she really did want to walk away. She stood in the warm silence, senses intoxicated by their bond, his scent and body.
“If I find a cure, we’ll revisit this conversation.”
“I won’t make it easy on you. You’ll have to earn me,” she whispered.
“Deal.” Gabriel held her gaze a moment longer before his hands dropped, and he walked away. “Fourth room on your left.”
She barely caught her balance, stunned she turned him down and even more that he let her. Her gaze swept hungrily over his body as he strode across the room, away from her.
Breathless, she managed to open the door on the second try and made it into the hallway before sagging against the wall. Her hands shook, and she dropped the keys. Deidre gathered her composure with some difficulty and walked down the hallway, pausing four doors down to her room. Suddenly furious and anxious to leave, she pushed open her door and grabbed her stuff. Gazing at the address on the tag, she drew a deep breath and summoned a portal.
She still felt his hands branding her body. The look he’d given her after she told him she was leaving made more sense. He was jealous. But how could he be jealous, agree to send her away and make out with another woman?
He made her head hurt, and her body ache.
Deidre emerged into the living room and turned around once completely, not expecting the views of the city from the bank of windows along one wall. The apartment was a sprawling penthouse. The floor plan was open and relaxed, with wooden floors giving warmth to cream furniture.
Nothing about this place looked like it was something Gabriel chose. Did he kill someone here recently and decide it was a nice place to keep?
She shook her head. The bedrooms were on the second floor, the master larger than her old apartment.
If she had limitless money, this was a place she’d pick out. Struck by the thought, she checked the dresser for clothing.
Her size. Her style.
This place had been hers. How was that possible, when she recalled living a full life in Indiana before moving to Atlanta? There were tags on most of the clothing, and the styles were from fall. A few months ago.
If the place didn’t feel so much like she designed every detail, she’d freak out. As it was, it was almost familiar. She checked the master bath, half-expecting to find bones in the tub. The round tub was luxurious, and her thoughts turned a different direction.
Deidre ran a hot bath. The main difference between the penthouse and its contents and her own life: she’d never been able to afford anything remotely as expensive or nice. The rich cinnamon-vanilla scent of the bath bubbles filled the air, reminding her of the candle she’d bought at the farmers market the day her life went to hell. She sank into the hot water. For the first time in days, the tension in her body loosened.
Life or Death? Gabriel or …Gabriel?
She groaned. Darkyn was becoming her most promising option. What did he have to gain by curing or killing her? Whatever it was, it wasn’t going to be free. No matter what he said, she’d heard enough about past-Deidre to understand there was much more to their relationship. It probably wasn’t good, which meant Darkyn was going to fuck her over somehow, too.
Just like everyone else. Could he really be much worse?
Chapter Eleven