PART TWELVE
It was when I read the first of the books I found in my house that Isaw the word I. And when I understood this word, the book fell frommy hands, and I wept, I who had never known tears. I wept in deliveranceand in pity for all mankind.
I understood the blessed thing which I had called my curse. I understoodwhy the best in me had been my sins and my transgressions; and why I hadnever felt guilt in my sins. I understood that centuries of chains andlashes will not kill the spirit of man nor the sense of truth withinhim.
I read many books for many days. Then I called the Golden One, and Itold her what I had read and what I had learned. She looked at me andthe first words she spoke were:
I love you.
Then I said:
My dearest one, it is not proper for men to be without names. There wasa time when each man had a name of his own to distinguish him from allother men. So let us choose our names. I have read of a man who livedmany thousands of years ago, and of all the names in these books, his isthe one I wish to bear. He took the light of the gods and he brought itto men, and he taught men to be gods. And he suffered for his deed asall bearers of light must suffer. His name was Prometheus.
It shall be your name, said the Golden One.
And I have read of a goddess, I said, who was the mother of the earthand of all the gods. Her name was Gaea. Let this be your name, my GoldenOne, for you are to be the mother of a new kind of gods.
It shall be my name, said the Golden One.
Now I look ahead. My future is clear before me. The Saint of the pyrehad seen the future when he chose me as his heir, as the heir of all thesaints and all the martyrs who came before him and who died for the samecause, for the same word, no matter what name they gave to their causeand their truth.
I shall live here, in my own house. I shall take my food from the earthby the toil of my own hands. I shall learn many secrets from my books.Through the years ahead, I shall rebuild the achievements of the past,and open the way to carry them further, the achievements which are opento me, but closed forever to my brothers, for their minds are shackledto the weakest and dullest ones among them.
I have learned that my power of the sky was known to men long ago;they called it Electricity. It was the power that moved their greatestinventions. It lit this house with light which came from those globes ofglass on the walls. I have found the engine which produced this light.I shall learn how to repair it and how to make it work again. I shalllearn how to use the wires which carry this power. Then I shall build abarrier of wires around my home, and across the paths which lead tomy home; a barrier light as a cobweb, more impassable than a wall ofgranite; a barrier my brothers will never be able to cross. For theyhave nothing to fight me with, save the brute force of their numbers. Ihave my mind.
Then here, on this mountaintop, with the world below me and nothingabove me but the sun, I shall live my own truth. Gaea is pregnant withmy child. Our son will be raised as a man. He will be taught to say Iand to bear the pride of it. He will be taught to walk straight and onhis own feet. He will be taught reverence for his own spirit.
When I shall have read all the books and learned my new way, when myhome will be ready and my earth tilled, I shall steal one day, forthe last time, into the cursed City of my birth. I shall call to me myfriend who has no name save International 4-8818, and all those likehim, Fraternity 2-5503, who cries without reason, and Solidarity 9-6347who calls for help in the night, and a few others. I shall call to meall the men and the women whose spirit has not been killed within themand who suffer under the yoke of their brothers. They will follow meand I shall lead them to my fortress. And here, in this unchartedwilderness, I and they, my chosen friends, my fellow-builders, shallwrite the first chapter in the new history of man.
These are the things before me. And as I stand here at the door ofglory, I look behind me for the last time. I look upon the history ofmen, which I have learned from the books, and I wonder. It was a longstory, and the spirit which moved it was the spirit of man's freedom.But what is freedom? Freedom from what? There is nothing to take a man'sfreedom away from him, save other men. To be free, a man must be free ofhis brothers. That is freedom. That and nothing else.
At first, man was enslaved by the gods. But he broke their chains. Thenhe was enslaved by the kings. But he broke their chains. He was enslavedby his birth, by his kin, by his race. But he broke their chains. Hedeclared to all his brothers that a man has rights which neither god norking nor other men can take away from him, no matter what their number,for his is the right of man, and there is no right on earth above thisright. And he stood on the threshold of the freedom for which the bloodof the centuries behind him had been spilled.
But then he gave up all he had won, and fell lower than his savagebeginning.
What brought it to pass? What disaster took their reason away frommen? What whip lashed them to their knees in shame and submission? Theworship of the word We.
When men accepted that worship, the structure of centuries collapsedabout them, the structure whose every beam had come from the thought ofsome one man, each in his day down the ages, from the depth of someone spirit, such spirit as existed but for its own sake. Those men whosurvived those eager to obey, eager to live for one another, since theyhad nothing else to vindicate them--those men could neither carry on,nor preserve what they had received. Thus did all thought, all science,all wisdom perish on earth. Thus did men--men with nothing to offer savetheir great number--lost the steel towers, the flying ships, thepower wires, all the things they had not created and could never keep.Perhaps, later, some men had been born with the mind and the courage torecover these things which were lost; perhaps these men came before theCouncils of Scholars. They were answered as I have been answered--andfor the same reasons.
But I still wonder how it was possible, in those graceless years oftransition, long ago, that men did not see whither they were going, andwent on, in blindness and cowardice, to their fate. I wonder, for it ishard for me to conceive how men who knew the word I could give it upand not know what they lost. But such has been the story, for I havelived in the City of the damned, and I know what horror men permitted tobe brought upon them.
Perhaps, in those days, there were a few among men, a few of clear sightand clean soul, who refused to surrender that word. What agony musthave been theirs before that which they saw coming and could not stop!Perhaps they cried out in protest and in warning. But men paid no heedto their warning. And they, these few, fought a hopeless battle, andthey perished with their banners smeared by their own blood. And theychose to perish, for they knew. To them, I send my salute across thecenturies, and my pity.
Theirs is the banner in my hand. And I wish I had the power to tell themthat the despair of their hearts was not to be final, and their nightwas not without hope. For the battle they lost can never be lost. Forthat which they died to save can never perish. Through all the darkness,through all the shame of which men are capable, the spirit of man willremain alive on this earth. It may sleep, but it will awaken. It maywear chains, but it will break through. And man will go on. Man, notmen.
Here on this mountain, I and my sons and my chosen friends shall buildour new land and our fort. And it will become as the heart of the earth,lost and hidden at first, but beating, beating louder each day. And wordof it will reach every corner of the earth. And the roads of the worldwill become as veins which will carry the best of the world's blood tomy threshold. And all my brothers, and the Councils of my brothers, willhear of it, but they will be impotent against me. And the day will comewhen I shall break all the chains of the earth, and raze the cities ofthe enslaved, and my home will become the capital of a world where eachman will be free to exist for his own sake.
For the coming of that day shall I fight, I and my sons and my chosenfriends. For the freedom of Man. For his rights. For his life. For hishonor.
And here, over the portals of my fort, I shall cut in the stone the wordwhich is to be my beacon and my banner. The word which will not die,should we all perish in battle. The word which can never die on thisearth, for it is the heart of it and the meaning and the glory.
The sacred word:
EGO