“I have to go. I’ll be back in a few hours.” Walking back to the bed, he intimately slid his hand between her thighs, cupping her pussy. “Save some for me.”
“You know I always save some for you,” she crooned as he grabbed his jacket, then strode out of his room.
Going down the steps, he heard the pinging from his phone that he was receiving a text. He didn’t bother looking at it—Jo was right on time. If she said she would be there at a certain time, she would be there. It was one of the things he had liked about her.
Nodding at Moon, who gave him a searching glance, he went down the flight of steps to the parking lot.
Opening the passenger door of Jo’s truck, he climbed inside. He received the same searching glance from Jo as he shut the door.
“Am I too early?” she asked, backing out.
“No. Why?”
“Nothing. It’s just … you’ve been wearing dress clothes when we go out. Not that it matters,” she hastened to add.
Rider met her eyes, staring deeply into them. “I decided that clothes don’t make the man any more than clothes make the woman.”
“No, they don’t.”
“Careful,” he warned as she was about to pull out onto the road. “There’s a car coming.”
Jo slammed on the brakes. “Sorry, I didn’t see it.”
“No, you didn’t. That’s two of us.”
21
“The roads look like they’re clear.”
Jo nervously kept her eyes glued to the road. “They are. The sun melted off what was left today.”
The vibe that Rider had been putting off since he had gotten in the truck had her discreetly watching him from the corner of her eye.
“So, what’s our plan tonight? Another hot dog at the gas station?”
“I was going to do better than that.” Pulling into the church parking lot, she found a parking spot that would let her face the road in case she was called out. “Willa is fixing dinner tonight for anyone who volunteers to wrap Christmas presents for the kids.”
When Rider just sat there without getting out, she looked down to see what he was staring at, realizing she had been unconsciously twisting her hands together.
Rubbing her sweaty palms on the coarse material of her coveralls, she cleared her throat. “If you’d rather not, we could go get a burger at the diner, and I can take you home afterward.”
Jo couldn’t understand the thick lump that had formed in her throat. It was like she had lost a friend and didn’t know why. The last few days with Rider had shown just how lonely her existence had been.
She had people she called friends in town and church, but she had maintained a distance that kept them from being termed “close friends.” Rider had been breaching the gap. Experiencing that distance from him, and not at her own making, shook her to her very core.
She had called Aly to meet with her the other day to tell her that she wasn’t going to go through with the plan to entice Rider to take Curt on. They had argued, and Aly had left threatening to sue her for the money her father had owed.
As Jo watched, Rider’s expression became shuttered. Then she tensed when he reached out to cup her cheek, running a gentle finger down it. Frozen at his touch, she stared, hypnotized by the sensuous curve of his lips.
“Willa’s a good cook. If she made that offer, most of the town will show. Let’s hurry before all the toys are wrapped.” Dropping his hand, he got out of the truck.
It took Jo a second to realize he was waiting for her outside.
“Ninny, you’re making a fool of yourself.” Gathering her scattered wits, she got out, bowing her head at his knowing smirk.
Not taking the hand he held to her, she rushed past him, nearly skidding on slushy pavement. Rider managed to catch her around her waist.
“Careful. You don’t want to fall.”
Jo grabbed his biceps, feeling the muscles bunch underneath her touch.
“Rider … I …”
“Hi, Rider.”
Jo dropped her hands from Rider as Aly approached them on the sidewalk.
“Jo,” Aly greeted as she curled her hand familiarly around Rider’s arm. “Do you mind, Rider? I don’t want to fall in my heels.”
“I’m always willing to lend a helping hand to a pretty girl.” Placing himself between the two women, he offered his other crooked arm to Jo.
“I’m fine.” Jo walked ahead, leaving them to follow behind her.
She was torn between anger and tears when she heard their soft voices behind her yet couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Opening the church door, she went inside, uncaring if they followed.
Inside, Willa and Lucky were talking to Cash and Rachel.
Breaking away from the small group, Willa gave Jo a flustered frown. “I was worried that you would get called out. I have plenty of help. Unfortunately, though, most of the parishioners are too busy to stay long.” Willa gave Rider and Aly a smile as they came in the door behind Jo. “I’m hoping to get most of the presents wrapped before they start making excuses to leave. I’ve organized the toys by age groups. Rider, you and Jo can take the three-year-olds’ Bible study room. Aly, you can work with Rachel and Cash in the five- and six-year-olds’ room.” With that, she briskly led them to their respective rooms.
Jo could only stare as she shut the door behind them, leaving her and Rider alone in a toy-filled room.
“What got into her?” Jo closed her gaping mouth at Willa’s demanding attitude.
Rider laughed, shrugging out of his jacket, then placing it on one of the small tables. “That’s nothing. You should see her when she gets mad. We all take cover to get out of her path.”
Jo wouldn’t have believed it was possible, but doubt flickered through her at Willa’s no-nonsense approach to get the gifts wrapped.
The little furniture left no place to sit; even the table wouldn’t be able to be utilized. Rider came up with a solution.
Taking a roll of wrapping paper, he sat down on the carpet within easy reach of a stack of toys and began wrapping.
There was no way she was going to be able to get comfortable in the bulking confines of her coveralls. Unzipping it, she started peeling it off, exposing her pink Henley fleece shirt. She had to sit down to remove her boots, revealing her pink socks. Then she stood up to kick off her coveralls. Her jeans were old and faded, hugging her hips and making her feel self-conscious that she wasn’t dressed up like Willa, Rachel, and Aly were.
Taking a seat on the carpet across from Rider, she began wrapping a cute doll with ponytails.
Rider had wrapped three before she had finished her first one.
“I’ve never seen anyone wrap that fast.”
Rider reached for another toy. “I have plenty of experience. Willa ropes me into doing this every year.”
“Now I feel guilty. You didn’t volunteer this year—”
“I told Willa when she asked me that I would convince you to help me. You saved me the trouble.” He finished wrapping a small plastic truck, setting it aside to pick up another toy. With his head lowered, he couldn’t see her watching him.
“I’m sorry.”
He raised his head at her sudden apology. “What for? I just said—”
“That I misjudged you. You’re a really nice guy, Rider.” She restlessly switched her weight to her other hip, trying to make herself more comfortable on the carpet.
“You think I’m nice?” Rider looked at her the way she had looked at Willa when she had authoritatively taken control of who was going to wrap which presents.
“I believed you only had one thing on your mind, and truthfully, I had no intention of getting to know you better. I was wrong. You gave an outrageous sum of money for a date with me, which is how Willa was able to buy so many toys. You were kind to Mag, despite me springing her on our date. Not only that, but you’ve kept me company for the last few days and made the nights go by so much faster. Thank you for becoming a friend.”
“You think I’ve been trying to become your friend?”
She shyly fumbled with the bow she was trying to stick to the top of the present she had wrapped. “It doesn’t matter what your intentions are. It’s how I think of you.”
“Is it?”
Jo nodded, not raising her head. “I’ve never considered a man a friend before.” She was exposing a part of herself she had never let anyone see before, man or woman.
“Not even before …”
Jo raised her eyes as he delicately broke off the question he was about to ask. She had never talked about her attack to anyone, other than her mother and father. When Aly had convinced her to get Rider on their side, she knew she would have to break and tell him to make him empathic to her cause. It was one of the main reasons she hadn’t wanted to do it, never believing it was possible to discuss the events of that traumatic night, especially if it would lead an act of violence against Curt.
Now that she was being honest with Rider, that she considered him a friend and had bowed out of helping Aly seek her own brand of justice, it made it much easier to talk to Rider about it. It all came down to the simple reason that she wanted to finally put it behind her, in the past, where it belonged.
“Not even before I was raped.” Jo stopped wrapping the presents. Raising her knees, she rested her head on them to keep from meeting his eyes. “It was the first time my mom let me go to a football game alone. My dad had promised to drop me off and pick me up right after. I had never been interested in going before.
“Curt was in my Algebra class, and I had a huge crush on him—all the girls did. I was too shy to actually talk to him during class, but that day, he stopped by my desk when the bell rang and asked me if I was going. I told him I was. I felt so happy that he had asked if I was going.” Jo lifted her head off her knees to stare up at the ceiling as she fought back the hatred, not at Curt, but at herself. “I was so gullible.
“He waited until the rest of the students had left the room before he talked to me, but I didn’t realize it at the time, so thrilled that he had noticed me. It took me most of the afternoon to talk my mother into letting me go. She even offered to go with me. I told her I didn’t want to go if she went with me. I thought I was too old to need my mom trailing after me.
“When Dad dropped me off, I sat in the bleachers alone. I had gotten there early enough that I got a front-row seat near where the players would be standing. When Curt walked out onto the field, I waved at him … I waved …” Jo buried her face in her hands, taking deep breaths before she could compose herself. When she did, she lowered her hands, finding a small tear on the knee of her jeans and worrying it.
“During the last ten minutes of the game, Justin came to sit next to me and told me that Curt wanted me to meet him at the outbuilding where the equipment was stored. I told him I couldn’t, that my father was coming to pick me up. He said Curt would drive me home, and Curt would wait in case I changed my mind.
“I still remember waiting for my father, keeping an eye on my watch as everyone left the field. Two minutes before the thirty minutes were up, I went to the storage building. I was just going to ask to use Curt’s cell phone. I wasn’t even planning on letting him give me a ride.” Jo could see the tear on her knee widening as she picked at it. “When I knocked on the storage building, Curt, Jared, Tanner, and Justin were inside.
“You want to know the stupidest thing I did?”
“No … stop. Jo, you don’t have to tell me anything.”
She lifted her eyes, inexplicably wanting to share with him what had happened to her that terrible night. “I don’t have to … but I want to.”
She took a deep, fortifying breath. “When I asked to use his phone, Curt raised it up over his head, so I couldn’t reach it. He had a beer and said if I wanted to use his cell phone, I would have to finish it. I was smart enough to try to run, but I wasn’t smart enough to fucking scream. I should have screamed my lungs out.
“I didn’t scream when Curt ripped my top off, or when Tanner blocked the door. And I didn’t scream when Justin held my hands behind my back so I couldn’t fight. I didn’t scream when Curt raped me, or Jared, or Justin. I was too terrified that someone would open the door and see me with four boys in the storage building.
“They left me, torn and bleeding on the floor, like I was trash. But before they left, Curt warned them to keep their mouths shut. He wasn’t worried they would tell someone that they had raped me. He didn’t want anyone to know that he had touched a piece of trash like me.”
“How did you get home?” Rider’s hoarse voice had Jo reaching for a pretty Barbie doll, and then she cut enough paper to wrap it.
“When I finally managed to get dressed, I walked back to where my father was supposed to meet me. I waited another hour for him to show up. I cried all the way home, telling him what happened.
“When we got home, my mom took one look at my face and knew something had happened. I went to my room and listened to my parents scream and yell all night. My mom wanted to go to the police; my father didn’t. My mother and I left town the next day.”
“I would have killed them if—”
Jo shook her head. “I don’t blame my father. Curt and the other boys would have turned it around on me, that I had enticed them. He was trying to protect me in his own way. Curt didn’t turn out the way he is without help. His family is just as bad as he is, they’re just smarter at keeping a low profile. I was more concerned about my reputation being ridiculed by small-minded townspeople than screaming to the rooftops that I had been raped. Curt and his cousins had already raped me. I couldn’t bear experiencing the same thing over and over by everyone in town doing it too from their snide remarks. Curt was the star quarterback, Jared was just as popular, and Tanner and Justin’s side of the family came from money. Meanwhile, I lived in a junkyard. I still do.”
Jo lifted the Barbie doll, the plastic representation of what she would never be—clean and new, untouched by human hands. It had her wanting to change places with the unemotional toy.
Rider used his booted heels to slide across the space separating them. He reached out, using her hair to tug her head to his shoulder.
“You’re not trash, Jo. You weren’t then, and you’re not now.”
“It’s okay. I don’t believe it anymore. Not really. Times have changed. I wasn’t ashamed to tell anyone that Curt had raped me when I got back to town. The whole town knows now. Curt might not have gotten any jail time for it, but it was enough to make him change his last name to his mother’s, and I like to think it cost him his job at the high school.”
“Why are you telling me this tonight?”
“Because I haven’t trusted anyone in a long time, but I do you.” Jo lifted her head, giving him a trusting smile. “Besides, I don’t want you to feel guilty if you want to blow me off for Aly.” She didn’t want Rider thinking he had to stay in the room with her if he really wanted to help Aly.
Using a twisting motion in her hair, he raised her head from his shoulder. “Where did that come from?” His unfathomable gaze stared back at her. She gave him a self-effacing one in return.
“If I were a guy, I know which one I would prefer.”
“Maybe I’m not a normal guy.”
“I’m the one who’s not normal. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I want to be upfront with you, not lead you on that there’s more between us than friendship, because there isn’t.”
“There isn’t?”
Jo started trembling at the sensual way he was rubbing the back of her neck.
“I’m asexual.”
She expected him to refute her claim, or ask any number of questions. What she didn’t expect him to do was fall back on the floor, laughing.
“It’s not funny. I am.”
“You’re not asexual.”
“Are you me?” She glared down at him. “I think I know myself better than you. Even my therapist agreed with me.”
> “Was your therapist a woman?”
Jo wanted to pinch him to make him stop laughing.
“I’m asexual.”
“Jo, you just told me less than ten minutes ago you weren’t.”
Her forehead furrowed in confusion. “I didn’t—”
“You told me that you had a crush on Curt before he raped you. If you had been asexual, you wouldn’t have had a crush on him. What you are is repulsed by sex because of a traumatic event. Not that I can blame you. If I had been forced to have sex with Curt, I would have been repulsed, too.”
“That’s not funny!” Her eyes watered at the thought of him taking her confession so lightly.
She tried to stand, but Rider tugged her back down onto her butt, using the motion to raise himself from his sprawled position.
“It’s easier to laugh than to find Curt and beat the hell out of him for making you believe that about yourself.”
“It’s not a belief. It’s a fact.” She folded her arms over her chest stubbornly.
“I can prove to you that you’re not.”
Jo rolled her eyes. “How? By having sex with you? Forget I said anything. You’re being a jerk—”
“Calm down. I was merely offering to kiss you. Friends kiss all the time. If you meant it—that you trust me—what’s the harm in a small kiss? I’ll even make it easy for you.” Rider scooted sideways, sitting on his hands, closing his eyes, and pursing his lips. “I won’t lay a finger on you, I swear.”
“You look ridiculous,” she told him, having no intention of kissing him.
“Come on … Don’t keep me hanging.”
“Quit. I’m not going to kiss you. Besides, you don’t look attractive right now. You look silly.”
“Then that should make it easier for you … Come on, Jo. Be brave. Just a little smooch, and I’ll believe you’re asexual. Have you even kissed anyone since that night?”
“No, I’ve never kissed anyone,” she admitted.
Rider’s eyes flew open. “Then, how do you know for sure? Come on, Jo. What have you got to lose?” Rider closed his eyes again, pursing his lips for the kiss he was daring her to give.