Chapter Three
My father’s eyes lit up with depraved anticipation as he took in my little brother. There were a few things about Matthias that I didn’t understand- his utter hatred and disgust with Miller was one of them. But it wasn’t my place to question. I tried to convince Miller to play along, to follow orders and fly under the radar. But the kid just liked to push buttons.
“Well, if it isn’t the prodigal son,” my father called out when Miller stood before us, beaten to a bloody pulp.
I stilled next to Reagan. I hated that she had to see this, see how dysfunctional my family could be at times. If I could hide this part of my life from her, I would- she would never see the darker side of the Allen family. But it was too late now, and so I just had to hope Miller kept his shit together and didn’t make this worse for everybody.
“Hi, father,” Miller called out, sounding like he’d swallowed a sock. It was starting already. I could feel the tension rolling off my little brother like radioactive waves. He bristled like a porcupine when prodded and by his beaten, black and blue face, he had been well and poked.
My father either didn’t notice, or didn’t care. He grew instantly serious and demanded, “Have you learned your lesson, Son?”
Miller’s head bobbed up and down like a cartoon. “Yes, Sir,” he said with pretend conviction.
My father played along, “And what did you learn?”
“Not to get caught, Sir.” I almost smiled at Miller’s candidness. That was a lesson I had wanted him to learn years ago.
The room erupted into disapproval. Half these men would stone Miller if my father would allow it. He was constantly causing trouble, constantly bringing down my father’s wrath. The people despised Miller for it. They were too loyal to my father to appreciate someone with a different opinion. But most of all, my father could be a cruel and unpredictable man when set off. Miller often set him off. This concerned the people because Miller was frequently not the only person punished for his transgressions.
While the men and women shouted their disapproval behind me, I felt the slightest wince fall from Reagan’s lips. She felt sorry for my brother- which was to be expected.
There were many things I could say to her, excuses I could make, but this was the very worst place to try to have that conversation with her. Besides, her eyes were on my father in this moment and now my father’s eyes were on her.
Matthias let the room settle down while he studied Reagan carefully. Finally, when he could be heard over the din, he said, “We’re a community, Reagan. Do you understand that? We take care of each other. We protect our own from the dangers of this fallen world. And we haven’t lost anyone yet, even while our numbers continue to grow. This was once a tiny, insignificant little nothing town. But now look at us.” He threw his hands around the room and smiled at her, “Flourishing. We are flourishing, even in this uncertain time of disease and death. People all over hear of our prosperity and safety. They flock to us, Reagan. They come in droves.”
Most of that was true and I hoped Reagan believed him. The only fact that was a little distorted was that we’d never lost anyone. Although, I knew my father truly believed his words. It was a little convenient for him that those that we had lost were not exactly considered tragedies by his standards. And since he was the one that set the criteria, we were not exactly in a position to argue with him.
“I’ve never heard of you,” Reagan told him flippantly.
I gripped her arm before I could think through my actions. Couldn’t she see what happened to someone who defied my father? Didn’t she understand that what happened to Miller could easily happen to her?
I would protect her as much as I could, but even I could be overruled. Even I could be stopped.
My father sounded sadistic when he answered her. I cringed as his acidic words fell from his callous mouth, “You never heard of us until today. Now… now you’ve heard of us. Now you’ve seen what we can do. Now you understand.”
“That is true,” Reagan admitted. I relaxed a little and softened my grip. I sucked in a slow breath and waited for her to say more- whether good or bad, this girl had me on the edge of a cliff with anxiety for her next words.
Matthias turned his attention to Miller, “You met her last night, Miller. I know you brought the other two back with you. But how many more were with her?”
“There was another guy,” Miller said.
I cringed, knowing this would not end well for Miller. The answer came too easily, too compliantly. He was lying.
And my father could see that, “Just one other guy?”
Miller grunted a sigh of frustration, but it was contrived. “I told you last night and I will tell you again this morning. I wasn’t runnin’ away. I was goin’ for a walk. And then I ran into these guys. They made me bring them back in here. They forced me to! But it was only her and another guy that stayed behind. They kept talking about a contingency plan. And I guess it meant they would come after them if they never showed back up.”
His story made sense at least and he hadn’t changed even one detail since last night. He was getting better at this, but I could see the lies too easily.
And I had no doubt my father could as well.
“Give us the story, Reagan,” my father ordered.
She twitched, but just barely. Matthias couldn’t see it from where he sat, but I felt her body next to mine, sensed her beyond her physical reaction.
“Like I said,” she shrugged casually. “We didn’t know you were here. We ran into Miller by accident.”
“Then why send the scouting party ahead?” My mother asked seriously.
“To see if it was safe. We had never heard of you. And in our travels we’ve run into a lot of bad guys. Even you guys handcuffed us and dragged us through this interrogation. The last settlement we were at stole our guns and ammo and syphoned our gas. We don’t trust people. We were trying to be cautious.”
I felt two things in that moment. I knew she was telling the truth, at least in this part, and my body warmed and heated as I felt this real part of her reveal before me. And then, the burning destruction that singed each one of my nerve endings. I knew she’d been living a hard life before today and I loathed that she’d been taken advantage of. It was amazing, in fact, that they hadn’t taken advantage of her in other ways.
But she would never be in danger of that happening to her again.
Not as long as she was with me.
“You’ve never heard of us?” My father was incredulous but sincere. “When’s the last time you’ve been around people outside of your own party?”
She sounded more confident when she said, “Not since the settlement where everything was stolen from us. Weeks ago- states ago. We haven’t been around other people since. We’ve been avoiding settlements and other people ever since.”
“Do you know why our country fell, Reagan?” This was my father’s standard test for each and every newcomer. He had to evaluate their reaction, see how they absorbed his doctrine. I couldn’t stifle the shiver of expectation that rippled down my spine. I could hardly wait to see how she would take this, how her opinion would change, evolve, soften. She shook her head, so my father continued, “Our government imploded, plain and simple. With all our troops scattered around the globe and then more than half of all the government officials infected with the virus within days of the outbreak, there was no one left to organize us- to rally us. They failed us, Reagan. When we needed them the most, they couldn’t give us a cure, or a solution or protection. They just… dissolved. And they left their citizens in dire straits. They left us to die. Our people need a stronger system; they need someone who can keep them from falling prey to these animals, who can offer them hope for the future.”
Reagan stood unmoved next to me and raised one skeptical eyebrow, “And that person is you?”
I couldn’t say I was surprised by her reaction, although I was more than a
little disappointed.
“Kane, give our guest a tour of the town.” My father’s order was rife with irritation, but I appreciated his patience with her. He was giving her another chance, something he very, very rarely did. But this was for me- for my obedience and dedication.
“Yes, Sir,” I answered loyally.
I pulled on her forearm, where my hand had never lifted. I opened the door for her and nearly winced when she immediately cringed at the sounds greeting her. I wanted to scoop her up and sprint from here, so she wouldn’t have to listen to this anymore, so she could escape this horror as quickly as possible. But that wouldn’t be doing her any favors.
The Colony was her permanent home now, she needed to get used to this; she needed to become accustomed to our way of life.
My father cut through my thoughts, calling out to us before the door could close, “And when you’re finished, Kane, set her up where you see fit. Miss Reagan Willow is going to be staying with us for a while.”
I stopped the smile of victory that wanted to break free across my face. This day had been strange; I couldn’t remember ever wanting to smile this much. But now I had my father’s approval, although I was a little surprised he’d given it. I had to assume he saw the same fire and life in her that I did. Maybe he wasn’t so opposed to different ways of thinking after all. Or maybe I’d earned enough respect in his eyes for him to want to give me something, even if he didn’t understand why I wanted it. Either way, Reagan would be staying.
With me.
I led her down the hallway, anxious to take her home. I knew she would see her friends when we passed, so when she asked, “Can I speak to them?” I wasn’t surprised.
“No,” I told her. They were part of her old life, and that was over now. I was her future, this town was her future. She didn’t need to speak with those people ever again.
When we stepped outside, she flinched against the bright sun and I paused to wait for her to adjust to the mid-morning light. I watched her carefully, just in case this was a trick, but she seemed genuinely blinded for a moment- and that was a feeling I could relate to. Her shoulders sagged and her arms twitched uncomfortably.
My father approved, I had complete control of her now. Given all that, the handcuffs seemed a little extreme.
I turned her around and let my fingers trail down her forearms. Her skin was so perfect, so utterly untainted. She didn’t seem to fit into the same world I lived in. She was a puzzle piece from a different jigsaw, but I would make her fit in here. I would find a place for her.
I unlocked her handcuffs and slipped them into my back pocket. Her hands fell to her side and as the blood slowly returned to her fingertips she wiggled them until they moved a little more steadily.
She whirled around and pinned me with a glare, “If you hurt them, I will kill you.”
I felt that annoying need to smile again, so I deflected with some sarcastic humor, “So many threats.” I lifted my gaze from her wiggling fingers and fell into the dark brown depths of her rich, enchanting eyes. In that moment there was a transfer of power so affecting I felt my knees buckle. She held it all, she’d taken it from me… stolen it. I knew that I was a possessive person, plagued by the need to control, the overwhelming desire to govern everything around me. But now, in this infinite minute while Reagan held me in her gaze, it was her that possessed me. And not the other way around.
When I came back to myself, regained some of my scattered senses and shook off the perplexity of this girl, I felt the immediate need to raise my defenses and protect what was left of me. “If you hurt me, I will kill them,” I told her. She blanched at my threat but even I didn’t understand everything it encompassed. Hurt me how? Physically, of course. Emotionally? Did she hold that power? Yes. She did. And if she could wound me deeper than the skin, than how strong was her reign over me. I’d known her a few hours.
I’d spoken with her barely at all.
This couldn’t be healthy.
But I hadn’t been healthy for years now. I could be honest with myself about that. And instead of her feeding the sickness that coiled around my bones and sunk into my nerves and veins, she seemed to soothe those dark pieces of me, heal the damaged, suffocating parts that I wanted to pretend didn’t exist.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked- sounding truly scared for the first time today.
My jaw clenched in frustration and I swallowed back a biting remark. I was experiencing something real and authentic between us and she cowered in fear of me? Didn’t she understand what it meant for us to meet each other? Didn’t she understand that both of our lives had collided into this necessary moment in time and now our paths were drastically altered? Couldn’t she see what I offered her? How much I would give up to keep her safe? To keep her with me?
I stalked past her, too angry to give her a calm answer. “You need to stay by my side,” I threw over my shoulder. With her I knew I needed to hammer in the point, so I added, “At all times.”
She hurried to catch up with me and her immediate obedience soothed some of my furious edges.
I led her through town, knowing the sight of a functioning society would be a shock to her. But I hoped it also quieted some of her fears. This place was not just better than the road, it was better than anything else out there. We weren’t the society we’d left behind before the infection, but we managed. And lived like kings compared to the rest of the world. She’d be a fool not to see that.
I noticed her gawking at the rooftop guards. “If you try to run, Reagan, they will shoot you.” She needed to understand our settlement and what we expected of her. Although, I left out what my father would do to her if they didn’t shoot her, if they caught her instead and my father had time to pass judgment on her. She would view the hallway trophy cases in an entirely different light then. I decided one scary revelation at a time.
“The threat against my friends was clear enough, Kane.”
I liked that. “We have men everywhere, all over the town and all over the surrounding forests. We live in relative peace and quiet here because we exterminate the threat of Zombies before they ever reach us. Our people live in houses and participate in civilized society. My father is reclaiming this country for us. Every day we clear more land, claim more property for humanity.”
She seemed to absorb that information and let it roll around her head. Finally she asked, “Do you use currency?”
“We trade work for necessities,” I told her. “Work earns you credits, credits buy you whatever you need or want. The more you work, the more you have. The same goes for housing. The job you choose determines the kind of housing you own. It determines your status in the community. It decides how much influence you have in meetings.”
Reagan fell silent then, no doubt contemplating our society. I offered the obligatory greeting to everyone we came into contact with but didn’t offer to introduce Reagan. A bizarre kind of greed had settled over me and I hated the idea of sharing her with anyone- even random citizens on the street. I knew they would never take her from me. I had the second highest level of respect in our community- maybe third, if you counted my mother. But, still, some quiet whisper of instinct urged me to keep her tucked close to my side, keep an ever watchful eye on this impulsive girl.
When we neared my house, she asked, “What’s top of the food chain?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” I looked down at her and couldn’t help but smile. We were almost home.
“Best job, what is it? Who gets the best house? The most food? The most votes?” Her eyes were inquisitive but her jawline still hard. I wanted to ease her agitation, take away some of her apprehension.
Confidently, I said, “My father.”
That didn’t make her happy. “And then?” she pressed.
“Soldiers.” I wondered if that would make her feel more protected. “Anyone who patrols gets the best of everything. We risk our lives to keep peace.”
r /> “Well, that’s what I want to be then.” Her rich brown eyes were intent with her decision. She was serious.
Ridiculous but serious.
She’d been given too much freedom, kept too loosely. She was an asset here, a precious commodity. We didn’t need her to be a disposable soldier, we had plenty of them. I needed her in my home, keeping my house, making my meals and warming my bed. Was that sexist? Sure. Fine, absolutely. But we all had our strengths. I played to mine every single day. Risked my life to give people like her safety and security. Now, specifically, I would do those things for her. She had a different role to play.
But her part was invaluable in my life. Absolutely vital now that I found her.
“You can’t be a soldier, Reagan. Only our men fill those rolls.”
“And then women remain co-dependent on their protection and abundant supplies? I forgot that you own your women here; they are as much property as they are people, right?” Her tone was biting, ripping into me with her sharp teeth and unforgiving tongue.
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” I assured her. But what I didn’t say was that the co-dependency went both ways. She would be reliant on me to provide for her, to keep her safe. And I would be bound to her because of the way she brought light into my life, stroked my soul with her grace and warmth, slowed the demons that hunted my mind, nipping at my ankles with their forked tongues, licking my back with the burning whip of their claws. She took all of that away and brought me peace. In the first moment I saw her that was true. We were far beyond a one-sided relationship. I needed her as much as she would need me.
More so.
We’d stopped in front of my house and I was anxious to show her inside. I was proud of my place. As unforgiving and ugly as this world could be, this was my home- the only sanctuary I could truly be myself.
She wasn’t ready to let this go though. “But it is,” she argued with me. “This is your house. I’m your ration?”
I turned toward her, needing her to see the truth in my words. “Prize,” I promised her. “You’re my prize.”
Tears welled in her eyes and for some reason that made me feel like the worst kind of bastard. “You’re crazy if you think I would ever go along with this.”
Crazy.
I hated that word.
It should make me angry, furious with her… But instead I felt oddly vulnerable. My chest ached unexplainably, my gut twisted and worst of all my confidence failed me. I had to look away from her piercing gaze. She saw too much of me.
I reached for her hand, not trusting my voice to explain. I tugged her up the neat walkway and the idyllic little stairs. I unlocked my door and led her inside the home I’d carefully built.
Of course, it had been here since the beginning of the infection, but ever since it had been given to me I’d worked hard to make it my own.
I watched Reagan take in my space with an excitement that was new to me. I studied her eyes as they grew big with wonder and her lips as they relaxed for the first time all day. Her shoulders lost their tension and her fingers stopped wiggling. She liked my home. I could feel it; I could see it in her face.
A quiet, unfamiliar feeling unfurled inside my chest. The emotion grew slowly, spreading out through my legs and arms, wrapping around my heart and lungs and sliding up my throat and to my head, making me feel dizzy with the increasing intensity of the moment.
Hope.
Reagan’s reaction had made me feel hope.
And then a cold kind of panic flashed in her bright eyes and I immediately sought to erase it. “It will be easier for you if you stop fighting this,” I promised her, hoping to draw out those feelings of belonging she’d felt only moments ago.
She whirled on me. “I’m not sleeping with you.”
Not yet, I thought.
“Nobody said you had to. You can stop believing I’m a monster, Reagan. I’m not.” Please stop thinking I’m a monster. Please see something that nobody else sees. The desperation in my own thoughts shocked me and then Reagan’s next words nearly shattered me.
“Then let me go,” she demanded levelly.
Didn’t she know that I couldn’t? I was in too deep. “I won’t do that.”
“Wont?” She raised one eyebrow and pinned me with a disbelieving glare.
“I won’t let you go,” I confessed. I still felt the sting of her hatred and it made me open up in ways I usually guarded myself from. Truth fell from my lips before I could stop myself, “You’re perfect for me. And you’re mine now. I won’t lose you.”
She shook her head, her lush, dark hair bounced around her shoulders. “You don’t even know me. I’m a raging bitch.”
I shrugged. That was part of her appeal. I loved her spunk, her feistiness.
“I would make a terrible wife… uh, partner, um, possession. I won’t ever be submissive; I won’t ever not fight you.”
But that’s what I was counting on. “You’re jumping to conclusions.” I smirked at her. I needed her boldness, her defiance. She would keep me entertained, keep me from growing bored. She was my ultimate challenge. “Don’t you want to get settled before you warn me off?”
“No. I want you out of my life today.”
“Not happening. This is the best thing that could have happened to you. Stop looking at this like a tragedy and recognize your good fortune.” I was starting to lose my patience. I wanted her to accept her situation and then fight me. She could argue and sass but after she realized she was staying with me. Permanently.
“And my friends?” she demanded.
What I wanted to do was scream at her to forget her friends! Instead, I said, “Will be safe and taken care of as long as you remember your place.”
She made a laughing sound that didn’t sound amused. “And if I don’t?”
That made me angrier than anything else. All of my good humor drained from my body. “Don’t find out.”
We stared at each other for only a moment, while the intensity and fierce emotions rushed around us in a hypnotizing pull. A knock on my door ripped us from our mutual stupor and I left the depth of her eyes as if it were a different realm entirely. I sighed, frustrated with the intruder’s timing, but left Reagan to recover from our interaction.
I knew I was getting to her. I could feel her resolve fading into the promise of a new life with me.
I peered through the blurred glass pane into the distorted profile of my sister on the other side.
Tyler.
What did she want?
I pulled the door open and stared her down through the screen door. She stared back, as ever, unafraid of my position here or my reputation. She was a force of her own. Reckless, impetuous, hotheaded, spoiled and unfeeling.
The list could go on, but I had the unsettling feeling she could read my thoughts as she stared up at me. Her expression was nothing but cold indifference and boredom. If anyone could go against my father and win, it was my little sister.
But she never would.
Not head to head anyway.
She would rip his heart out when she abandoned his idea of utopia though. He trusted her to get her shit together before she did something stupid, like leave this Colony with notions of living out there on her own- or worse, with Miller. But I knew better.
My sister was minutes from bolting. I could see it in her flighty eyes, in her jumpiness, in the way her hands trembled slightly when she thought no one was paying attention to her.
She was as good as gone.
“Tyler,” I sighed. “What do you want?”
“Just stopped by to meet your new pet.” She sounded like her old self- the one that was cheer captain of our high school and organized her junior prom all on her own. Something was most definitely up with her.
I leaned into the door, not entirely sure I wanted to share this time with Reagan. I understood Tyler’s curiosity, but these first few moments were vital to establishing a
relationship with Reagan. I felt reluctant to give those up.
“She’s not a pet,” I said.
“Really?” Tyler laughed but there was no humor in it. Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. Here we go… “Let’s see, you went hunting in the forest this morning and then returned with a creature that you’re keeping locked in your house. If she’s not a pet, then what is she?”
I breathed out a foul curse and narrowed my own eyes until I could feel my contacts push into my eyelids. I hated these damned things, but glasses weren’t exactly practical when hunting Zombies. I could tell the day was winding down though and the intense urge to remove them and replace them with my glasses plagued me. Using that additional frustration, I growled, “Get off your high horse, Ty.”
She didn’t even pause to take me seriously. “First, get out of my way.” She yanked the screen door open and all but bowled me over in her attempt to get inside. “Alright, Kane, introduce me to my new sister-in-law.”
I sighed again, but followed Tyler over. “Tyler, this is Reagan. Reagan, this is my little sister, Tyler.”
“Well, little as in two years younger. But he loves to hold that over me. How old are you?” She didn’t even give Reagan a moment to process all this new information. This was exactly what I was afraid of.
“Um, uh, twenty.” She glanced from me to Tyler uncertainly.
“Yay!” Tyler squealed in that fake way again. “We’re just a year apart then!”
“Yay,” Reagan drawled.
I allowed myself a small smile.
But Tyler wasn’t finished, “Big brother, be a good host and get us something to drink.”
I contemplated telling her to get her own drink, but Reagan seemed comfortable around Tyler and I wondered if maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing Tyler stopped by. Girls were good at… empathizing with each other. Maybe they could start a friendship and the transition for Reagan wouldn’t be so hard. My sister might be on her way out, but she would never be so stupid to take something of mine. I understood her sympathy for Miller, even if I didn’t feel any. But Reagan was different- she was actually mine. Tyler would respect that.
On my way to the kitchen around the corner, I asked over my shoulder, “Did you have anything to do with Miller’s stupid little stunt last night, Ty?”
She laughed hysterically- unknowingly giving herself away- and explained, “Uh, did you see Miller this morning? Dad beat the shit out of him. I am not about to be part of his crazy antics. He’s just doing it for attention.”
It was stupid to lie to me, but it was like she couldn’t help herself. And probably it was smarter not to tell me the truth, I would just tell our father. They didn’t want to play by the rules. They didn’t want to believe that this was the best place for them- the safest. But my siblings had always been entitled and immature. They couldn’t see the big picture so they fought the small one. What I did was for their good. What my father did was for their survival. One day they would get that… although it would probably be too late for them.
“Right, attention. Seems like there’s better ways to get dad’s approval.” I went along with it. I always went along with it.
“Well, you would know all about that, wouldn’t you Golden Boy?”
Her comment rubbed my nerves raw, but I didn’t bother giving her a reply. I walked into the kitchen and started banging around for beverages. Listening intently to the girls in the living room, I went about getting them drinks. I couldn’t hear anything though- which meant they were whispering.
Immediately alarm bells started ringing in my head. There could be ten different reasons why they were sharing secrets. The least offensive was that Tyler was asking about the outside world, gaging her chances of survival with Reagan’s intimate knowledge of what’s out there. The worst… the worst meant my sister was a dirty, filthy traitor.
I grabbed two Cokes and joined the girls in the living room, hoping to catch them in something nefarious. Instead, I found my sister in her insensitive glory telling Reagan how plain she was. My sister could be such a catty bitch. Good grief.
“Tyler,” I barked. I shoved the Cokes at the girls and glared at my little sister. As if I didn’t have enough on my plate, she had to pull stunts like this?
She better not drag Reagan into her mess of a life. When her rebellious little tornado finally landed, I didn’t want Reagan anywhere near the fallout. My father would likely skin Tyler alive.
She glared right back, letting me know exactly how much she blamed me for all her drama. I rolled my eyes and looked suggestively at the front door.
Taking the hint she announced, “Well, I’m off!” She finished her Coke in one long pull and I shook my head at her terrible manners. “I’m on dinner duty,” she said. “Besides, I’m sure you want time to get to know your new… plaything.”
I watched her retreating form and then gave into the gnawing guilt that had been my constant companion for a while now. Usually I could ignore the churning in the lower part of my gut. But something about this morning demanded more of my attention than other days. “Tyler,” I called out. “Check on Miller, make sure he’s alright.”
“Why don’t you?”
“If I show him I care right now, he’ll think it’s Ok to behave this way. We both know, that under no circumstances can he be allowed to leave this place. He would die by himself; he would die in less than a day.” That was as much for her benefit as it was for his.
“What if he wasn’t by himself?” She sounded so casual, so... normal. She was good at that. And if I wasn’t her brother, I would never know when she was lying and when she told the truth.
“You’d die too, Ty.” More honesty. She would. She needed to know that.
“And you care, Kane?” she laughed callously.
I held back an impatient sigh. She should know this. I opened my mouth to say something along those lines, but resigned myself to, “I care. Just make sure he’s alright.”
“Whatevs,” Tyler shrugged. She was apparently set on trying every last one of my nerves.
“You have a very interesting family,” Reagan said after the slamming screen door had stopped ringing through our ears.
“You don’t have any family left?” I changed the subject, anxious to know more about her.
“Not anymore,” she hissed at me- like it was my fault her family had succumbed to the high death count of recent years.
I saw through her. In this moment, she wasn’t grieving for family gone, she was afraid. She lashed out because she didn’t have a certain future and the parts that she could rely on were new and a little scary. So instead, I promised, “Reagan, I know how to keep you safe. This will be a good life for you.”
Not missing a beat, she argued, “Against my will. You’ll keep me safe against my will. And you’ll give me the life you think is good… against my will. Honestly, I don’t even understand how I got here.”
I squinted, perplexed. “We found you in the woods this morning.”
“No, I know how I got here this morning. But I mean, to this place. To you keeping me under lock and key just like Tyler said, like a pet. Why do you think this is acceptable behavior?” Her eyes had darkened to almost black gem stones. She was furious, vibrating with hatred and helplessness.
“I don’t,” I swore to her. And I knew that it wasn’t acceptable behavior- at least in the world we used to live in. “I know it’s not alright to behave like this. But I also know it’s been eighteen months since a girl that has even remotely peeked my interest has stumbled upon our encampment and she died three days later because she was too dehydrated and starved to come back from that. Her body shut down and we watched her die in our medical facilities. Since then it’s been a steady stream of mostly men. Or women that won’t work for me.” And all that was true. Even the girls that had been part of the town before we’d started accepting outsiders hadn’t worked. They’d just been some version of the same kind of g
irl. I wanted someone unique, someone both beautiful and smart, both hard-working and feminine, someone that I could discover but that also remained a mystery. It wasn’t just about not finding any girl- there had been plenty and I’d passed them all onto someone else. It was about her. It was about me wanting her.
“That doesn’t mean I’m the last of a dying breed.” She slammed her arms across her chest and met my gaze straight on.
“No,” I assured her. “But it means you are a rare and precious commodity. A woman is a status symbol in this community.”
“So you’re lazy?” Her teeth ground together and I had the strongest urge to lay my palm along her jaw and run my thumb across her plump lower lip. She was getting worked up for nothing. “Go find another woman! Go find someone who’s actually interested in you. You can’t just kidnap people.”
Red flashed across my vision. That was an unfair accusation and I did not appreciate having my work-ethic questioned. “I’m not lazy,” I argued with her. “I’m an opportunist. You should look at this from my perspective. If you were in the same position as me and the perfect man walked across your path, I doubt you would be so quick to let them go.”
“I’m not perfect,” she answered quickly.
“Perfect for me,” I told her. And I meant it.
“You’re delusional.”
This time I didn’t get angry at her name-calling. I understood her fear and I forced myself to be patient. She would understand in time. It would only take a little time. “I’m your future, Reagan. The sooner you come to terms with that, the sooner you will be able to move forward.”
I left her gaping at me to padlock the front door. I dropped the keys back into my pocket and felt comfort at the heavy weight in my pocket. I felt even more ease with Reagan taking up so much space in my house. Not physical space, but metaphysical, philosophical, spiritual space.
And that’s what she didn’t understand.
I was a kidnapper to her.
But she was my redemption.