My eyes moved back to Lucian, who watched me silently without making a single noise as yet another piece of metal was dug from his back and made a clink as it was dropped into a glass. Linda worked with deft precision, her eyes only meeting mine when she felt my heavy stare.
It took a strong stomach to remove metal from flesh, and she didn’t seem upset or squeamish at all. She looked like she had done it before, which seemed off to me. No one should ever feel okay with digging metal out of flesh. Or anything else for that matter.
Lucian’s dark indigo eyes remained intense as he continued to watch me, as if he thought at any moment I’d have a mental breakdown. I offered him a small smile before I turned to Vlad, who was also watching me with a worried look.
“I need a drink, please,” I whispered, not trusting my voice to not crack with the emotions I felt.
The entire room was silent; many people watched me, or Kendra, maybe wondering why one of us couldn’t stop crying, while the other was almost catatonic. I understood it; it wasn’t everyday something walked in looking like your dead brother.
“Pick your poison,” he said gently.
“Macallan, top shelf, Vlad, two fingers, make it neat,” Lucian directed, his eyes closing briefly before he turned them on the bartender. “For both of us,” he finished.
“Fifty-five, or younger?” he asked as his eyes moved to me, and then Lucian.
“Fifty-five,” Lucian answered and moved his eyes back to mine. “If she can handle it,” his tonality made it a statement instead of a question.
“I can handle it,” I whispered, barely audible to my own ears.
I watched as Vlad retrieved the gorgeous bottle, which was shaped to take you back to the old world, when it was a luxury to have and own fine whisky. The moment he pulled the crystal decanter out and removed the ornate cap, my nose was filled with the fragrance of smoky spices. I watched as he carefully poured the dark amber liquid, then pushed the glass in my direction.
I lifted it, swirled the whisky and brought it up to my nose to inhale the fragrant beauty of the fifty-five-year-old scotch. I wasn’t big on different types of whiskies, but I knew this was an expensive drink, and highly sought after by those with means to obtain the more extravagant things in life.
I took a sip, and swirled it in my mouth. I enjoyed the burn; the slight taste of citrus was a surprise, but it tasted far better than I expected. Not something I’d pay for; however, it was a rather cool experience in light of everything.
I took another sip and turned to watch as the elders were brought in, with my mother following behind them. Why had they come to us instead of bringing us to the safety of the abbey? I watched as my mom looked for me, and then quickly searched through the crowd for Kendra.
The moment she found us both, relief softened her features. She moved towards Kendra, and I followed. I’d just reached them when Kendra threw herself into Mom’s arms and started relaying what had happened.
I remained silent until the last of Kendra’s emotional explanation had played out. Tears filled our mother’s eyes, and I choked back my own emotions.
“Joshua can’t be alive,” my mother said softly to Kendra. “They sent your brother’s body home to us.”
“It could be him! Just because the Army said it was him, doesn’t mean that they didn’t make a mistake!” Kendra sobbed.
“We buried Joshua,” I whispered.
“You can’t know that! Nobody can say it for sure.”
“We buried Joshua,” I repeated more firmly. “I know it was his body we buried, Kendra.”
“You need to stop, you saw him! It was Joshua!”
“It wasn’t Joshua, dammit, Kendra, I know it wasn’t Josh because I opened that casket, and I saw what was left of him. Grandmother even did the spell to be sure it was him! We made damn sure it was Joshua in that casket!”
The entire room gasped, and I didn’t care.
“Magdalena, he was killed by a bomb,” Mom whispered, sadness coloring her words at understanding exactly what I’d seen in that casket.
“I know, trust me, I know. We had to be sure, so I did what I had to and begged Grandma to do the spell for me. The results of the spell were conclusive, and it’s never wrong. It was Joshua’s body in that casket. He’s dead. Whatever that thing was, it wasn’t our brother, Kendra. We buried him, the real one. No mistake was made, there’s no doubting it. Joshua is dead.”
Kendra started up again but mother stopped her. “She’s right, do not argue it. We were lost in grief. That is not the problem now, Kendra. We need to figure out what is posing as Joshua, and…”
“Fiona, tell them,” Grandmother interrupted softly as she placed a gentle wrinkled hand on Mom’s shoulder. “They need to know. You knew eventually that they’d have to be told. Now is the time.”
A chill ran up my spine as I turned to my mother and narrowed my eyes. “Tell us what?”
What could she possibly tell us now that would get us any closer to figuring out what that thing was?
“Mother,” Kendra asked as she sat beside my mom.
“I was eighteen when I became eligible for the Awakening ceremony. My match was chosen by the ancestors at the Harvest ceremony. He was a strong man, powerful. His name was Drake, and he was from the original coven. Nine months later I gave birth to beautiful twin boys, and I rejoiced.”
I turned white. Twins?
“Just as any mother would, I loved my sons. They were beautiful babies, but as Benjamin and Joshua got older, we noticed a change in Benjamin. At two, he was casting magic, far more magic than a child should be able to do before an Awakening ceremony; but then, his tantrums took a dangerous turn. He would fly into fits of rage over Joshua playing with his toys. We had a puppy that was given to both boys and we found the poor thing cut up, with nearly nothing left of it. At first, I made up reasons for why things kept happening. At three, I found Joshua with a bag over his head, and tiny cuts all over his body. I realized that it was no longer safe, and I had to choose between letting Joshua live or continuing to deny the darkness I could see growing inside of Benjamin. I took Benjamin to the seer in the woods, and she quickly saw what I had been denying. Benjamin was born of the darkness, and Joshua of the light. I took Joshua to the neighbors, and went back home to spend the night alone with Benjamin before I had to send him away. Darkness cannot live in the light, and Benjamin would have killed Joshua eventually. Any child who is born with darkness is given to the Guild, as they are better equipped to deal with it. This coven is no different than the others; we do not allow darkness to grow within our ranks. I did what I had to do. I removed all evidence of him from our lives; pictures, toys, anything that could prove he existed was erased.”
“How do you know he wouldn’t change? He was three!” I seethed. “You threw him away, how could you? What about us?” I indicated myself and Kendra. “What if it had been us, would you throw me away too, mother?” I demanded.
“I took you and your sister to the same seer who lives in the woods. When you were three, we took you back to the seer and she said you were pure light, brighter than any she’d seen before you. You and Kendra were inseparable, unlike Josh and Ben; they didn’t bond. They fought over everything. Benjamin was not a happy child. He was sullen, and dark. He was born wrong.”
“And you just took the word of some nutcase witch in the woods who claims to be a seer? Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?” I asked.
“The witch serves us. She’s the seer of the dark and the light. She’s blind, and yet she sees better because of it,” my grandmother said as she watched me. “Some children are born with a darkness that will kill the light just so they can remain in the shadows. It isn’t their fault; it’s just how they are born. This coven was built to keep light magic,” she continued as she placed a hand on my shoulder. “Your mother??
?s choice wasn’t easy; she gave up one child to save the other.”
“Did she? Because it seems to me he’s back, and he’s a little bent on the whole ‘being kicked to the motherfucking curb,’ thing. I highly doubt he’s here for a family reunion.”
“Magdalena,” my grandma warned.
“It’s the truth. I couldn’t imagine learning that I’d been abandoned because of what you assumed I was. Just because you can sense the darkness doesn’t mean you have to accept it. He could have been taught to fight it.”
“He was born with it. You can’t stop it from growing if they’re not old enough to fight it. He was becoming powerful; so much more than Joshua was or any other child for that matter.”
I stopped talking, because I knew it couldn’t have been easy, and I was jumping to a total stranger’s defense. I was being harsh, but I felt for him. I could understand why he was angry. I could see that she’d believed she needed to protect her son, both of them, and to do that, she’d made a sacrifice that no mother should have to make.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly, but as she stood to hug me, I stepped back. I wasn’t sure why, or what I was doing. This information changed everything for me. Every memory growing up took on a new meaning. All of the coven’s fears of Kendra and I. They had good reason to be afraid for us, and what we would become as we grew into adults. “You should have told us.”
“I wanted to, but I wanted you to enjoy this time. It’s your time now, not a time for us to be worried about something you can’t change.”
“And if it’s him taking the others? The missing witches?” I asked, and knew she hadn’t added it up yet. “He knows who he belonged to; he knows Kendra and I are his sisters. That wasn’t a guess; he came here for a reason.”
“Maybe curiosity brought him here?” my mother said with a hopeful look in her eyes that I couldn’t stand to see.
“I’m sure curiosity made him pull a dagger on me too.”
“He tried to hurt you?” she gasped and covered a sob with her hand.
“He didn’t hurt me, but he did set off a bomb. So if you’re asking if he is capable of murder, my guess would be yes.” I rubbed my forehead as I tried to replay everything. “Which Guild was he sent to?”
“I don’t know, Drake took him away before the coven could and I never saw either of them again,” she said and pulled herself together. “It’s my mess, Lena, not yours.”
“It’s not only yours. We are family, we stick together. If we make a mess, we clean it up together. Is there anything else you left out?” I was tired, sore, and upset.
The reason why Benjamin looked, talked, and smelled like my brother, was because he was. I’d offhandedly rejected him without even knowing it. Wrapping my brain around Joshua being my half-brother was going to have to wait for another day. I was numb; I didn’t want to feel, or hear the answers. I wanted to forget today had ever happened. The moment Helen started adding her input, I wanted to scream.
“Fiona, this is quite the mess you’ve gotten this coven into,” Helen’s condescending voice was loud enough that the entire room could hear.
“Helen,” my grandmother said, her tone carrying a warning.
“Sara, I may not be from one of the original bloodlines, but at least I don’t have any skeletons hiding in my closet.”
“He wasn’t supposed to learn of us.”
Everyone looked at my mother, and Helen’s next words broke my heart.
“Well he did, and now our children are missing because of yours!”
“Helen, shut your freaking stuck-up, got to be in everyone’s fucking business, mouth!” I yelled. Lightning cracked outside, followed almost simultaneously by thunder. “You have no right! None at all,” I continued, feeling the storm coming through me. “You heard what she said; you want someone to blame? Blame the coven,” I seethed, and the entire room gasped. “They told her what to do, and they’re the ones who allowed Drake to take the baby instead of doing it themselves. She did her job; she gave away her child. Ask the coven how the hell he figured it out. If I had to make a guess, I’d guess his father told him.”
“You do not…”
Lighting crashed against something solid, close enough to the club that the power blinked, and went dark; at the second crash, it came back and I was inches from Helen.
“I have every right. She’s my mother, mine. You don’t get to point fingers and judge her because something went wrong that was out of her control. The moment Drake took that baby away with the coven’s blessing, her part was done. You want to judge her? Get in line. When it’s your turn, you better have fucking facts that can back your mouth up. We do not judge, we accept. We are one; when one is in trouble, many heed the call to stand beside them. Isn’t that what you all preach to us, or did buying your way onto the elders’ council give you the right to skip being held to the same standard?”
The entire room must have been holding their breath. I wasn’t sure where that had come from, but I’d felt a powerful snap inside of me, and before I could stop myself, I’d shouted at Helen. Emotional overload, I realized; the mind stops processing and starts expelling things when it’s trying to compartmentalize. Like learning you have a brother, and finding out that life wasn’t black and white.
I remembered my grandfather had told me things like that; that the mind can suppress events. If it can’t accept it, it fails to acknowledge it. He’d also told me that sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the greater good and that before I became judge and jury, I needed to stop and see if my mind could process it, or if it rejected it. If it didn’t accept it, I couldn’t judge.
You couldn’t judge something you didn’t understand.
I looked at my mother and realized something she didn’t say, probably something she never verbalized. She didn’t only bury one son when we’d buried Joshua, she’d buried them both. Her mutterings in her sleep replayed through my mind, and I felt tears well in my eyes. She’d buried them both, because Joshua had kept Benjamin clean and pure for her. Fate wasn’t cruel; sometimes she was a nasty bitch.
I looked around the room, finding Kendra watching me; her anger had already diminished, and her mind was working overtime. She wanted to see if our other brother was as bad as they said, and ask him if he was behind the missing girls.
“Kat, Dexter, make sure she doesn’t leave unless she’s with my mother or my grandmother,” I said, ignoring the others who were intently listening to the elders as they tried to formulate a plan.
I moved past Lucian, pushed open the outer door and walked into the main club. There were holes in the walls, which were letting in the last few rays of daylight.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Lucian’s voice stopped me.
I turned around and looked at his dress shirt which was covered in patches of his blood.
“I’m going to go out and see if I just lost another brother in that explosion, and if he’s outside and by some miracle still alive, I’m going to ask him what he wants.”
“Okay, lead the way,” he said.
“I don’t need you to come with me.”
“If he’s not here to make friends, he’s here to do harm. He set off a fucking bomb and trashed my club. I’d like to know why.”
“Fine, but you can wait until I’m done. I need to ask him a few things, and if he can vanish as he did inside the club, I don’t want him getting spooked.”
“Fine,” he agreed with his eyes devouring me.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” he asked smoothly, his eyes sliding down my ruined dress, which was ripped from the explosion, and covered in both of our blood.
“Like you want to eat me,” I grumbled and the look I gave him should have made it clear that it wasn’t a good idea to tease me right now.
“I don’t want to eat you; I want to taste you before I devour you.”
“What’s your deal?” I asked as I swung back around to face him.
“No deals; I’m not that guy,” he purred as his hand moved slowly and he touched my cheek softly. “Let me guess, you want a prince, someone to sweep you off your feet.”
“I don’t need to be saved by some prince,” I argued. “I had the sweet guy, the one I thought I wanted, but he was just a frog in disguise. I don’t need saving, I got my shit handled. Don’t stereotype me. I’m not the damsel in distress. I’m the one who thinks the damsel needs to figure it out. She needs to save herself, stop waiting for some asshole wearing glitter to do it for her.”
He smiled, but it was all teeth. “You can’t even see that you need to be saved. Today, when the bomb went off, you froze. You’re weak; you pretend you have it all together because one fucking ounce of emotion and everything you’ve been holding in will come undone. I see you, Lena. The real you, not the tough exterior you show to everyone else. You’ve pushed the real you so far inside of you that you don’t feel anything. You feel too much, care too much. Let it go; for once in your life stop trying to hold it all in, and let it fucking go.”
“You’re wrong.” I turned and headed to the door. “I know my weaknesses.” He was quickly becoming one. His touch? Set me ablaze with emotions I couldn’t even begin to understand. One night in bed with him? I’d be ruined. I knew it, and so did he.
Not going to happen. He could remain a free agent and flirt with the others. I wasn’t interested in spending one night with him; I wouldn’t survive it. There were men you could sleep with and walk away from, like the tattoo artist. No attachment. No sweet goodbyes in the morning. Lucian? He would ruin, wreck, and destroy a girl’s sensibility. He’d pound out walls, and destroy her foundation. He was a walking, talking, sexy as fuck wrecking ball.