She sniffed at his tongue-and-cheek tone. “I’m not avoiding anything.”
“Uh-huh.” He slid into the spot next to her and opened a bottle of water.
She eyed his drink. “So I drink alone?”
He glanced at the bottle of wine. “I have a feeling you’re going to keep me on my toes. I need all my faculties operating at peak levels.”
She laughed. “But it’s okay if mine aren’t?”
“You get one glass of wine because I know you’re nervous.”
“I am not.”
He lifted a brow.
“Okay, fine, a little.” She picked up her pizza and took a bite so she didn’t have to say any more. It was loaded with veggies, and the sauce had a bit of heat to it. A garbled sound of pleasure slipped out.
He smiled. “You like? I didn’t put any meat on it because I didn’t know if you were vegetarian or not.”
She shook her head and swallowed her bite. “I’m not, but this is fantastic. What’s spicy?”
“A shot of Crystal hot sauce. The locals are wearing off on me.”
“He shrinks heads and cooks, ladies and gentlemen. A man of many talents.”
He licked a dollop of sauce off his thumb. “I have a very limited menu with the cooking so don’t set those expectations too high. On most days, it’s just takeout and sitting in front of the TV, working.”
“No play for you?” She had to bite back the cringe when she realized he’d probably been going to Dr. McCray for playtime. But if he thought of that, it didn’t show on his face.
“I don’t go out all that much. I have a few friends in the city and there are a few people at work who don’t think I’m an asshole. But generally, I keep things pretty simple.”
“Yeah, what’s up with the reputation at work?” she asked. “You pissing in people’s Cheerios when I’m not looking? I don’t get the aversion to you.”
He shrugged. “When I started here, I was in a really shitty place. I wasn’t looking to make friends. I wanted to get the X-wing up and running, and I wanted things done a certain way. I pretty much shut anything and anyone else down if it didn’t have a direct effect on that goal. So the reputation is well-earned. I’ve calmed down some since then, now that things are running more smoothly and settled down. But I’m still never going to be the guy heading up the company softball team or going to the after-work mixers. I’m still not here to make friends.”
She swallowed her bite and swiped her mouth with a napkin. “What’s wrong with friends?”
“Nothing, I guess. But I had a time in my life where it was all about socializing and parties and being seen and who you knew and filling life with all this bullshit stuff. I thought it was good medicine after what I’d been through. But it was just meaningless fluff. Background noise. Nobody was really friends. Not the kind who’d have your back or stand up for you. It was window dressing. I have no desire to have that kind of existence again.”
“That was when you were in L.A., right?” She took a sip of wine. “The celebrity fiancée and all that?”
He tilted his head in question. “You know about that?”
She held up her thumb and index finger, indicating a smidge of something. “I may have looked you up once or twice after you graduated to see how things turned out.”
“Oh? And what did you think of what you found?”
“Honestly?”
“Give it to me, Rush.”
“I didn’t recognize that guy. You seemed . . . fake and pretentious and smarmy. I read one interview and couldn’t match it up with the guy I’d met. I just figured money had changed you.”
He picked a topping off his pizza, thoughtful. “Yeah, well, it wasn’t the money. I’d already had a good bit of that from my parents. But fame was its own kind of numbing drug. It was easy to get lost in the glare and just play the role that people expected of me. I didn’t have to think too much about anything. Things moved too fast for that. At the time, that seemed like a fucking miracle, to be someone else. But like any drug, it was just killing me quietly.”
She heard the wariness hiding behind the bitter tone. “What happened?”
He set down his pizza, something in his expression going shuttered. “The whole thing had been going downhill already but then I caught Selena cheating. Everything kind of went to hell after that. I was . . . not in a good place. Eventually, it was Dr. Paxton who got my head out of my ass. He flew out to meet me and basically told me I was acting like a fucking idiot and wasting my education, my research, and my life.”
Marin sensed he’d glossed over something. Tension was there in the set of his shoulders, but she wasn’t going to push. “No way Pax said ‘fucking.’”
“Oh, I promise he did. He was pissed. He made me feel like a dumb shit. But it was what I needed to hear. I was acting like an idiot. He strong-armed me into getting my shit together and taking an interview here. I haven’t looked back.”
“Wow.” Marin shook her head. “Guess this is where Pax sends his problem students.”
He smiled. “Let’s pretend it’s where he sends his favorites.”
“So, you’re happy here?”
He glanced toward the dark window then took a sip of his water, something uneasy filling the silence. “I love what I do here. The job challenges me, and I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I’d like to work on some research, too, but until I get a director position, there won’t be any time for that.”
He hadn’t answered her question, not exactly, but she let it slide. They ate in silence for a few minutes, letting conversations of the past drift away in their rearview mirrors. The wine started to take effect for Marin—nothing dramatic but a softening of the sharp-edged nerves from earlier. The muscles in her neck and shoulders began to unwind.
“I think I could be happy here once I get more comfortable with everything. The clients definitely will keep me on my toes. I like knowing that each person is a new riddle to figure out.” She wiped her hands on her napkin. “And the training is turning out to be very . . . interesting.”
Donovan looked her way, amusement lighting some of the darkness that had entered his eyes earlier. He reached out and took a sip from her wineglass. “Yeah? What have you learned so far, Dr. Rush?”
“Well, I’ve learned that there are sex toys I would’ve never fathomed existed. And that there are still sexual surrogates. That blushing is a plague upon my house. Oh, and that there is chocolate-flavored lubricant—which I’m still trying to figure out.”
Donovan choked a little on the wine and then laughed and set her glass down. “What exactly is there to figure out?”
She gave him a well-duh look. “Why the hell would anyone want it to be chocolate flavored?”
He pressed his lips together like he was trying to contain a laugh but mirth danced in his eyes anyway. “You really need to ask? Some people don’t like the tastes associated with oral sex.”
“Is it that bad?”
“Which side?”
“I’m assuming you’ve only sampled one side of that equation.”
His lips curved, a pirate smile. “Not entirely true. I’ve never given a guy a blow job, no, but I know what I taste like. I suspect you know what you taste like, too.”
The heat that rushed through her hit her face in an instant. Her cheeks burned like she’d been slapped.
“There’s the patented Marin blush.”
She groaned. “Shut up.”
He shifted toward her, his gaze holding hers. “Take off your panties, Marin.”
She stilled. “What?”
He got up from his chair and grabbed hers, turning it away from the table. “Your nerves are going to get the best of you if we take things too slow. You can always say no, but I’m asking you to trust me. Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” The word popped up automatically.
But before she could say anything else, he lowered himself to his knees in front of her and his lips met hers in a s
low, teasing kiss. One that made things melt. One that made the tension in her body unfurl. She gave into it. And as his tongue stroked along hers, he pushed her dress along her thighs in a slow glide, exposing her bare legs. Her heart picked up speed, her stomach tensing. But she didn’t stop him. Wouldn’t.
He hooked his fingers in the sides of her underwear and broke away from the kiss, his gaze colliding with hers. “I said, take them off.”
“Oh.” So they were doing this. Now. She tried not to have a panic attack.
Just listen. Let him guide you. This is Donovan. The words whispered through her head, calming some of the nerves. She lifted her hips when he tugged, and she let him slide her underwear down. Shivers chased the fabric down her legs as he dragged them all the way to her feet. He tossed the panties aside and put his hands on her knees.
“Open for me, Marin. I want to see you.”
She forgot how to swallow for a moment and couldn’t speak, but she didn’t offer any resistance when he applied pressure and opened her like a book, a secret book she’d never let anyone else but him read. Self-consciousness swamped her.
But the full, slow inhale he gave at the sight of her spread wide for him sent a rush of hot warmth flooding her. He stared at her bared sex with hungry eyes and drew a fingertip over her crease, earning a soft curse from her.
“So fucking gorgeous.” His voice was like water over rough rocks. “You should see how wet and ready you are from just sitting here talking about this.”
She closed her eyes, trying to pull in a breath. She felt exposed, vulnerable as all get out, but the earth would’ve had to shake beneath her to get her to move.
He dipped a gentle finger into her, her body protesting the sudden invasion at first and then another wave of arousal rushing forward and easing the way. Her hands reached out to grip his shoulders, nails digging in. The slippery evidence of how easily she’d gotten turned on made her blush harder.
“How do you think you taste?” His voice was a hypnotic song as he slid his finger from inside her, and then swiped a wet fingertip over her lips. She gasped and he breached her mouth with his finger. The distinct taste of her arousal hit her tongue.
She jolted at the invasion and her eyes popped open, but when she saw the naked desire in his expression, she settled almost instantly. It wasn’t the first time she’d tasted herself. They both knew it. They were both scientists at heart. Curiosity their drug. But somehow his looking at her like that made the embarrassment of that fall away like an unneeded layer of skin. Shameless. He challenged her to be shameless. It’s how she wanted to be.
He smiled, tugged his finger from her mouth, and then leaned forward and dragged the tip of his tongue over her lips, tasting what he’d painted there. He made a pleased sound and sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, licking it clean. He released her with a slow drag of his teeth over her lip. “I think you taste fucking amazing.”
She was breathless. Like she’d just sprinted somewhere. She had to force a response out. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I need more. Come ’ere.”
He got to his feet and put a hand out. She stood, her knees a little weak and the rest of her dinner forgotten. He grabbed the back of her neck and planted a solid kiss on her mouth—like he hadn’t planned to do that but couldn’t resist. Then he walked her back against the counter. Before she realized what he was doing, he gripped her waist and lifted her onto the kitchen island. He slid the bottle of wine to the side.
“Lie back.”
“Why?”
He smiled slow, wholly wicked. “I’m going to have you for dessert.”
“Donovan . . .” She didn’t know what she was saying. Yes. No. All of her senses were firing at once.
He pressed his finger against her lips. “Let the worries go. I’ve got you, Rush. All I want is to make you feel good. Tell me if you want something to stop. Okay?”
His eyes were steady on hers, a deep ocean of things played there in his gaze, but the solidness of him, the confidence, made her feel safe. Wanted. She nodded. “Okay.”
She shifted to lie back, but he stopped her. “Hold on. One more thing. I want to see you.”
He gripped the edge of her sundress and gathered it up her body. Once she adjusted her hips for him, he lifted it over her head and left her bare except for her bra. He quickly unhooked it and did away with that, too. She was left stark naked under the gleaming light of the kitchen with him still fully dressed. Panic welled in her.
But his attention swept over her with undisguised lust, distracting her from her racing thoughts. He reached out to cup her breast, brushing his thumb over her nipple and bringing it to a stiff, aching peak. “You’re so goddamned beautiful. I didn’t get the chance to take my time the first time we were together, but I plan on making up for that now.”
She swallowed past the knot in her throat. “Will I get to see you, too?”
He smiled and stepped between her spread thighs, his fingers gently teasing her nipples, sending hot frissons of need through her. “Later, I’m all yours. You can see and touch and taste whatever you want.”
Goose bumps prickled her skin as he kissed the side of her neck. She licked her lips. “I never got to touch you back then. To see you.”
He sucked at her collarbone. “I didn’t realize that you’d wanted to.”
She scoffed, the wine buzz and his hot, wet kisses making her inhibitions blur. “Are you kidding? It’s all I thought about for months before.”
He lifted his head at that. “Months?”
“Never mind.”
He grinned. “Oh no, Rush. Now you’ve got to tell me. I’ve got your pretty tits in my hands. You know how easily I could torture you?”
He bent and took one in his mouth, sucking it between his lips and circling his tongue around it. God. God. She moaned as the sensation darted straight downward and settled in between her legs. “Oh, fuck . . .”
He pulled off with a soft pop. “See. Tell me. Imagine how long I could suck and tease these without touching anything else and be perfectly content. I could drag out the evening just playing with you and stroking my cock while I do it, never giving you what you need.”
He moved to her other breast and she leaned back on her elbows, her thoughts scattering. “Teasing the born-again virgin is not . . . playing . . . fair.”
He hummed against her nipple, making the sensation ripple through her. Wetness pooled between her legs.
“Okay, okay.” She arched her back as he sucked harder. “Shit. I may have had a long-standing crush on you. I may have had completely impure thoughts about my TA for way longer than before that spring break.”
He nipped at her flesh and then raised his head to give her a devilish, satisfied smile. “So when you ran into me in the lab and realized who I was, you went about seducing me.”
A sharp laugh burst out of her. “I did no such thing.”
“You did. Utterly and completely.” He cupped her shoulders and lowered her to the island, displaying her like an X-rated feast. “Whether you knew it or not. You’re still doing it.”
He drew his fingers down her body from collarbone to hip. She closed her eyes, a shiver going through her. She’d never realized in that moment how starved for touch she was. No one touched her like this. No one ever. Her own fingers felt nothing like this. Every stroke of his hands was like a revelation, her nerve endings blooming under the attention. But then the sensation disappeared, leaving her floating without a tether. Her fingers curled around the edges of the island. “Donovan . . .”
“Shh, it’s okay.” His hands gripped her knees. “I’ve got you. Every gorgeous part of you.”
He spread her open and traced her inner thighs, sending luxurious tingles winding upward. She bit her lip, trying to keep the moan from slipping out. But then there was a gust of warm air against her wet flesh. Breath. She tensed all over. He was right there, up close with her most private spot. Her thighs tried to snap together but he was gripping her, keep
ing her in place. And before she could fully panic about what she looked like or what he thought or how this would feel, his mouth was on her. Burning hot, confident, and hungry.
“Oh, God.” Lightning went through her and then her muscles went lax like they’d forgotten how to work. A puddle. She was going to become a puddle.
Her knees fell fully open now, no resistance. He made a satisfied sound. Then, he licked her full and slow over her outer lips, the roughness of his tongue and softness of his mouth coalescing into some never before felt sensation. Then he found her clit. Her toes arched in her sandals.
“Holy. Shit.” Marin couldn’t stop the words or the desperate sound that followed from escaping her. He’d put his mouth on her briefly all those years ago. And she’d read about oral sex countless times, had seen it in videos, had educated others on it. But she’d had no idea. No. Fucking. Idea—it could feel like this.
“Agreed,” Donovan said, his breath gusting over her. He kissed her there again, openmouthed and deep, his tongue swirling around her clit like he was going to see how many licks it took to get to the center of her Tootsie Pop, for her to just disintegrate into nothing. One. Two. Ten. She lost count how many times.
Her body throbbed with an impending release already, everything tightening to the breaking point. Her nipples were so hard and achy, she almost went for it and rubbed them herself. But instead, she did what she’d been dying to do forever. She reached down and laced her hands in Donovan’s hair, feeling the soft strands slide through her fingers.
“You’re fucking perfect, Rush.” Donovan pushed a finger inside her, pumping slowly while he licked her in between dirty words. “You should see how wet you are, how hot you feel. I’m hard as rock just thinking about what you’re going to taste like coming against my mouth.”
“Donovan . . . God. I need, I’m . . .”
Despite her garbled speech, he apparently got the point because he moved his finger away, giving her a second to step back from the edge. But before she could really grab ahold of her control again, he slid his hands beneath her ass, cupping her and lifting her higher.