Get the bill, and order the omnibus round!" A crowd was on one side of the 
   table, and the other. One of the cousins had not the least wish that the quarrel 
   should proceed any further. 
   When, being in a quarrel, Philip Firmin assumes the calm and stately manner, he 
   is perhaps in his most dangerous state. Lord Ascot's phaeton (in which Mr. 
   Ringwood showed a great unwillingness to take a seat by the driver) was at the 
   hotel gate, an omnibus and a private carriage or two were in readiness to take 
   home the other guests of the feast. Ascot went into the hotel to light a final 
   cigar, and now Philip springing forward, caught by the arm the gentleman sitting 
   on the front seat of the phaeton. 
   "Stop!" he said. "You used a word just now??" 
   "What word? I don't know anything about words!" cries the other, in a loud 
   voice. 
   "You said 'insulted,"' murmured Philip, in the gentlest tone. 
   "I don't know what I said," said Ringwood, peevishly. 
   "I said, in reply to the words which you forget, 'that I would knock you down,' 
   or words to that effect. If you feel in the least aggrieved, you know where my 
   chambers are??with Mr. Vanjohn, whom you and your mistress inveigled to play 
   cards when he was a boy. You are not fit to come into an honest man's house. It 
   was only because I wished to spare a lady's feelings that I refrained from 
   turning you out of mine. Good-night, Ascot!" and with great majesty Mr. Philip 
   returned to his companion and the Hansom cab which was waiting to convey these 
   two gentlemen to London. 
   I was quite correct in my surmise that Philip's antagonist would take no further 
   notice of the quarrel to Philip, personally. Indeed, he affected to treat it as 
   a drunken brawl, regarding which no man of sense would allow himself to be 
   seriously disturbed. A quarrel between two men of the same family;??between 
   Philip and his own relative who had only wished him well???It was absurd and 
   impossible. What Mr. Ringwood deplored was the obstinate ill-temper and known 
   violence of Philip, which were for ever leading him into these brawls, and 
   estranging his family from him. A man seized by the coat, insulted, threatened 
   with a decanter! A man of station so treated by a person whose own position was 
   most questionable, whose father was a fugitive, and who himself was struggling 
   for precarious subsistence! The arrogance was too great. With the best wishes 
   for the unhappy young man, and his amiable (but empty-headed) little wife, it 
   was impossible to take further notice of them. Let the visits cease. Let the 
   carriage no more drive from Berkeley Square to Milman Street. Let there be no 
   presents of game, poultry, legs of mutton, old clothes and what not. Henceforth, 
   therefore, the Ringwood carriage was unknown in the neighbourhood of the 
   Foundling, and the Ringwood footmen no more scented with their powdered heads 
   the Firmins' little hall-ceiling. Sir John said to the end that he was about to 
   procure a comfortable place for Philip, when his deplorable violence obliged Sir 
   John to break off all relations with the most misguided young man. 
   Nor was the end of the mischief here. We have all read how the gods never appear 
   alone??the gods bringing good or evil fortune. When two or three little pieces 
   of good luck had befallen our poor friend, my wife triumphantly cried out, "I 
   told you so! Did I not always say that heaven would befriend that dear, innocent 
   wife and children; that brave, generous, imprudent father?" And now when the 
   evil days came, this monstrous logician insisted that poverty, sickness, 
   dreadful doubt and terror, hunger and want almost, were all equally intended for 
   Philip's advantage, and would work for good in the end. So that rain was good, 
   and sunshine was good; so that sickness was good, and health was good; that 
   Philip ill was to be as happy as Philip well, and as thankful for a sick house 
   and an empty pocket as for a warm fireside and a comfortable larder. Mind, I ask 
   no Christian philosopher to revile at his ill-fortunes, or to despair. I will 
   accept a toothache (or any evil of life) and bear it without too much grumbling. 
   But I cannot say that to have a tooth pulled out is a blessing, or fondle the 
   hand which wrenches at my jaw. 
   "They can live without their fine relations, and their donations of mutton and 
   turnips," cries my wife with a toss of her head. "The way in which those people 
   patronized Philip and dear Charlotte was perfectly intolerable. Lady Ringwood 
   knows how dreadful the conduct of that Mr. Ringwood is, and??and I have no 
   patience with her!" How, I repeat, do women know about men? How do they 
   telegraph to each other their notices of alarm and mistrust? and fly as birds 
   rise up with a rush and a skurry when danger appears to be near? All this was 
   very well. But Mr. Tregarvan heard some account of the dispute between Philip 
   and Mr. Ringwood, and applied to Sir John for further particulars; and Sir 
   John??liberal man as he was and ever had been, and priding himself little, 
   heaven knew, on the privilege of rank, which was merely adventitious?? was 
   constrained to confess that this young man's conduct showed a great deal too 
   much laissez aller. He had constantly, at Sir John's own house, manifested an 
   independence which had bordered on rudeness; he was always notorious for his 
   quarrelsome disposition, and lately had so disgraced himself in a scene with Sir 
   John's eldest son, Mr. Ringwood??had exhibited such brutality, ingratitude 
   and??and inebriation, that Sir John was free to confess he had forbidden the 
   gentleman his door. 
   "An insubordinate, ill-conditioned fellow, certainly!" thinks Tregarvan. (And I 
   do not say, though Philip is my friend, that Tregarvan and Sir John were 
   altogether wrong regarding their prot?g?.) Twice Tregarvan had invited him to 
   breakfast, and Philip had not appeared. More than once he had contradicted 
   Tregarvan about the Review. He had said that the Review was not getting on, and 
   if you asked Philip his candid opinion, it would not get on. Six numbers had 
   appeared, and it did not meet with that attention which the public ought to pay 
   to it. The public was careless as to the designs of that Great Power which it 
   was Tregarvan's aim to defy and confound. He took counsel with himself. He 
   walked over to the publisher's and inspected the books; and the result of that 
   inspection was so disagreeable, that he went home straightway and wrote a letter 
   to Philip Firmin, Esq., New Milman Street, Guildford Street, which that poor 
   fellow brought to his usual advisers. 
   That letter contained a cheque for a quarter's salary, and bade adieu to Mr. 
   Firmin. The writer would not recapitulate the causes of dissatisfaction which he 
   felt respecting the conduct of the Review. He was much disappointed in its 
   progress, and dissatisfied with its general management. He thought an 
   opportunity was lost which never could be recovered for exposing the designs of 
   a Power which menaced the liberty and tranquillity of Europe. Had it been 
   directed with proper energy that Review might have been an aegis to that 
   threatened liberty, a lamp to lighten the darkness of that 
					     					 			 menaced freedom. It 
   might have pointed the way to the cultivation bonarum literarum; it might have 
   fostered rising talent; it might have chastised the arrogance of so-called 
   critics; it might have served the cause of truth. Tregarvan's hopes were 
   disappointed: he would not say by whose remissness or fault. He had done his 
   utmost in the good work, and finally, would thank Mr. Firmin to print off the 
   articles already purchased and paid for, and to prepare a brief notice for the 
   next number, announcing the discontinuance of the Review; and Tregarvan showed 
   my wife a cold shoulder for a considerable time afterwards, nor were we asked to 
   his tea-parties, I forget for how many seasons. 
   This to us was no great loss or subject of annoyance: but to poor Philip? It was 
   a matter of life and almost death to him. He never could save much out of his 
   little pittance. Here were fifty pounds in his hand, it is true; but bills, 
   taxes, rent, the hundred little obligations of a house, were due and pressing 
   upon him; and in the midst of his anxiety our dear little Mrs. Philip was about 
   to present him with a third ornament to his nursery. Poor little Tertius arrived 
   duly enough, and, such hypocrites were we, that the poor mother was absolutely 
   thinking of calling the child Tregarvan Firmin, as a compliment to Mr. 
   Tregarvan, who had been so kind to them, and Tregarvan Firmin would be such a 
   pretty name she thought. We imagined the Little Sister knew nothing about 
   Philip's anxieties. Of course, she attended Mrs. Philip through her troubles, 
   and we vow that we never said a word to her regarding Philip's own. But Mrs. 
   Brandon went in to Philip one day, as he was sitting very grave and sad with his 
   two first-born children, and she took both his hands, and said, "You know, dear 
   Philip, I have saved ever so much: and I always intended it for??you know who." 
   And here she loosened one hand from him, and felt in her pocket for a purse, and 
   put it into Philip's hand, and wept on his shoulder. And Philip kissed her, and 
   thanked God for sending him such a dear friend, and gave her back her purse, 
   though indeed he had but five pounds left in his own when this benefactress came 
   to him. 
   Yes: but there were debts owing to him. There was his wife's little portion of 
   fifty pounds a year, which had never been paid since the second quarter after 
   their marriage, which had happened now more than three years ago. As Philip had 
   scarce a guinea in the world, he wrote to Mrs. Baynes, his wife's mother, to 
   explain his extreme want, and to remind her that this money was due. Mrs. 
   General Baynes was living at Jersey at this time in a choice society of half-pay 
   ladies, clergymen, captains, and the like, among whom I have no doubt she moved 
   as a great lady. She wore a large medallion of the deceased General on her neck. 
   She wept dry tears over that interesting cameo at frequent tea-parties. She 
   never could forgive Philip for taking away her child from her, and if any one 
   would take away others of her girls, she would be equally unforgiving. Endowed 
   with that wonderful logic with which women are blessed, I believe she never 
   admitted, or has been able to admit to her own mind, that she did Philip or her 
   daughter a wrong. In the tea-parties of her acquaintance she groaned over the 
   extravagance of her son-in-law and his brutal treatment of her blessed child. 
   Many good people agreed with her and shook their respectable noddles when the 
   name of that prodigal Philip was mentioned over her muffins and Bohea. He was 
   prayed for; his dear widowed mother-in-law was pitied, and blessed with all the 
   comfort reverend gentlemen could supply on the spot. "Upon my honour, Firmin, 
   Emily and I were made to believe that you were a monster, sir," the stout Major 
   MacWhirter once said; "and now I have heard your story, by Jove, I think it is 
   you, and not Eliza Baynes, who were wronged. She has a deuce of a tongue, Eliza 
   has: and a temper ??poor Charles knew what that was!" In fine, when Philip, 
   reduced to his last guinea, asked Charlotte's mother to pay her debt to her sick 
   daughter, Mrs. General B. sent Philip a ten-pound note, open, by Captain Swang, 
   of the Indian army, who happened to be coming to England. And that, Philip says, 
   of all the hard knocks of fate, has been the very hardest which he had had to 
   endure. 
   But the poor little wife knew nothing of this cruelty, nor, indeed, of the very 
   poverty which was hemming round her curtain; and in the midst of his griefs, 
   Philip Firmin was immensely consoled by the tender fidelity of the friends whom 
   God had sent him. Their griefs were drawing to an end now. Kind readers all, may 
   your sorrows, may mine, leave us with hearts not embittered, and humbly 
   acquiescent to the Great Will! 
   CHAPTER XII. IN WHICH WE REACH THE LAST STAGE BUT ONE OF THIS JOURNEY. 
   Although poverty was knocking at Philip's humble door, little Charlotte in all 
   her trouble never knew how menacing the grim visitor had been. She did not quite 
   understand that her husband in his last necessity sent to her mother for his 
   due, and that the mother turned away and refused him. "Ah," thought poor Philip, 
   groaning in his despair, "I wonder whether the thieves who attacked the man in 
   the parable were robbers of his own family, who knew that he carried money with 
   him to Jerusalem, and waylaid him on the journey?" But again and again he has 
   thanked God, with grateful heart, for the Samaritans whom he has met on life's 
   road, and if he has not forgiven, it must be owned he has never done any wrong 
   to those who robbed him. 
   Charlotte did not know that her husband was at his last guinea, and a prey to 
   dreadful anxiety for her dear sake, for after the birth of her child a fever 
   came upon her; in the delirium consequent upon which the poor thing was ignorant 
   of all that happened round her. A fortnight with a wife in extremity, with 
   crying infants, with hunger menacing at the door, passed for Philip somehow. The 
   young man became an old man in this time. Indeed, his fair hair was streaked 
   with white at the temples afterwards. But it must not be imagined that he had 
   not friends during his affliction, and he always can gratefully count up the 
   names of many persons to whom he might have applied had he been in need. He did 
   not look or ask for these succours from his relatives. Aunt and uncle Twysden 
   shrieked and cried out at his extravagance, imprudence, and folly. Sir John 
   Ringwood said he must really wash his hands of a young man who meanaced the life 
   of his own son. Grenville Woolcomb, with many oaths, in which brother-in-law 
   Ringwood joined chorus, cursed Philip, and said he didn't care, and the beggar 
   ought to be hung, and his father ought to be hung. But I think I know 
   half-a-dozen good men and true who told a different tale, and who were ready 
   with their sympathy and succour. Did not Mrs. Flanagan, the Irish laundress, in 
   a voice broken by sobs and gin, offer to go and chare at Philip's house for 
   nothing, and nurse the dear children? Did not Goodenough say, "If you are in 
   need, my dear fellow, of course you know where to come;" and did he not actually 
  
					     					 			  give two prescriptions, one for poor Charlotte, one for fifty pounds to be taken 
   immediately, which he handed to the nurse by mistake? You may be sure she did 
   not appropriate the money, for of course you know that the nurse was Mrs. 
   Brandon. Charlotte has one remorse in her life. She owns she was jealous of the 
   Little Sister. And now when that gentle life is over, when Philip's poverty 
   trials are ended, when the children go sometimes and look wistfully at the grave 
   of their dear Caroline, friend Charlotte leans her head against her husband's 
   shoulder, and owns humbly how good, how brave, how generous a friend heaven sent 
   them in that humble defender. 
   Have you ever felt the pinch of poverty? In many cases it is like the dentist's 
   chair, more dreadful in the contemplation than in the actual suffering. Philip 
   says he never was fairly beaten, but on that day when, in reply to his 
   solicitation to have his due, Mrs. Baynes's friend, Captain Swang, brought him 
   the open ten-pound note. It was not much of a blow; the hand which dealt it made 
   the hurt so keen. "I remember," says he, "bursting out crying at school, because 
   a big boy hit me a slight tap, and other boys said, 'Oh, you coward.' It was 
   that I knew the boy at home, and my parents had been kind to him. It seemed to 
   me a wrong that Bumps should strike me," said Philip; and he looked, while 
   telling the story, as if he could cry about this injury now. I hope he has 
   revenged himself by presenting coals of fire to his wife's relations. But this 
   day, when he is enjoying good health, and competence, it is not safe to mention 
   mothers-in-law in his presence. He fumes, shouts, and rages against them, as if 
   all were like his; and his, I have been told, is a lady perfectly well satisfied 
   with herself and her conduct in this world; and as for the next??but our story 
   does not dare to point so far. It only interests itself about a little clique of 
   people here below??their griefs, their trials, their weaknesses, their kindly 
   hearts. 
   People there are in our history who do not seem to me to have kindly hearts at 
   all; and yet, perhaps, if a biography could be written from their point of view, 
   some other novelist might show how Philip and his biographer were a pair of 
   selfish worldlings unworthy of credit: how uncle and aunt Twysden were most 
   exemplary people, and so forth. Have I not told you how many people at New York 
   shook their heads when Philip's name was mentioned, and intimated a strong 
   opinion that he used his father very ill? When he fell wounded and bleeding, 
   patron Tregarvan dropped him off his horse, and cousin Ringwood did not look 
   behind to see how he fared. But these, again, may have had their opinion 
   regarding our friend, who may have been misrepresented to them??I protest as I 
   look back at the past portions of this history, I begin to have qualms, and ask 
   myself whether the folks of whom we have been prattling have had justice done to 
   them; whether Agnes Twysden is not a suffering martyr justly offended by 
   Philip's turbulent behaviour, and whether Philip deserves any particular 
   attention or kindness at all. He is not transcendently clever; he is not 
   gloriously beautiful. He is not about to illuminate the darkness in which the 
   peoples grovel, with the flashing emanations of his truth. He sometimes owes 
   money, which he cannot pay. He slips, stumbles, blunders, brags. Ah! he sins and 
   repents??pray heaven??of faults, of vanities, of pride, of a thousand 
   shortcomings! This I say??Ego??as my friend's biographer. Perhaps I do not 
   understand the other characters round about him so well, and have overlooked a 
   number of their merits, and caricatured and exaggerated their little defects. 
   Among the Samaritans who came to Philip's help in these his straits, he loves to 
   remember the name of J. J., the painter, whom he found sitting with the children