Chapter Twenty
I stay awake for several hours listening to the sound of my heartbeat. Every so often, the realization of the deaths of Nicole and Greta hit me, and I’m gone in a sea of tears. When I sleep, it’s because of exhaustion. When I wake, Jo and Anabel are in the room.
“He’s gone. Really gone.” Jo averts her eyes, her voice heartbreaking.
“I don’t understand.” I make my face go blank. No emotion. These bastards left me alone in that warehouse.
“He’s gone. Nicole and Greta are dead, and he’s been implicated. The police are looking for him. Only she can make this go away. So, whether he went of his own volition or she used her power to make him, he’s gone. Lost to us.” She pauses and then adds, “Who knows if he was ever ours?” She looks away at the last, muttering softly.
I’ve never seen Jo like this, and it scares me. I hate her, yet I almost feel sorry for her. Almost. She’s a woman always in control, and now she’s on the verge of losing everything important to her. She can’t cope.
She turns to me suddenly, her eyes black and expression hard. “Everything he was is now in question. If you see him, you need to run. You can’t let him near you. He’s dangerous, Lorelei, more so with her pulling the strings. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I nod, trying to placate her. Jo may still hate me, but she doesn’t want me dead. We’re on the same side. I was telling the truth before when I told Bast we’d have Sangs and Guardians with us. A heaviness settles over us, each in our own worlds.
We sit in stillness. Jo eyes me severely for several minutes. Her midnight eyes bore holes into my head. I avoid eye contact, trying to focus my eyes and mind elsewhere. I’m a woman on the precipice of a breakdown, and I feel Jo trying to provoke me. Closing my eyes, I lay back and relieve some of my burden.
“It was a lie. None of it was real.” I swallow the lump in my throat, feeling the pit of loneliness rising. For once, someone had wanted me, to be with me, but that wasn’t so. It was all a joke. I was a joke.
Fucking Thea.
Jo rolls her eyes. “Get over yourself! Jesus Christ! I’ve known him for decades. He is like a brother to me, and now … now I might have to kill him,” Jo snaps at me bitterly.
“You’re right. I know that, but he is himself now. When I hit him with the combined power of Dark and Gifted, it broke him free of Thea’s control. I know he brought me here. I know he’s gone and my friends,” I pause to clear the lump from my throat, “my friends didn’t make it. That it was all for nothing. That he was a pawn and our feelings were make-believe. Congratulations, Jo, you were right. I should have stayed far, far away from your brother.”
“Right now I think we need to focus on the practical elements here,” Anabel chimes in from the corner of the hospital room. I’d forgotten she was there and I was feeling grateful for her presence if only as a buffer between Jo and I. “First the cops will be questioning all of us, Patrick’s ‘family’ and friends. So we all need to be on the same page. Then we need to ensure your apartment is as safe as possible. That includes extra protection from Bast and the Dark, Jo and the Guardians, and me, Heath, and Theo. This is a group effort until Patrick and Thea are caught or until we think of something else.”
“Wrong. Bast and the Dark are out. They’ve hightailed it out of here. Bast left a letter for you when you’re ready to read it,” Theo says as he and Heath walk in.
“They wouldn’t just leave. Not without at least saying goodbye,” Anabel says, shocked.
“It’s true, Anabel. Bast was here last night. She stayed with me for a while and brought me up to speed. She’ll be back. They’ll be back.” Anabel moves back, her expression wounded.
“Great. There goes that plan,” Jo says harshly.
“Knock it off, Jo. And get over it, Anabel. At least someone was concerned. Where were you, by the way, when I was screaming, begging for your help at the warehouse?” I snap.
“She blocked us out, Lorelei. I couldn’t even hear you. We tried everything to get in. Then we were attacked from behind with some sort of spell, Aidan was shot in the head, and Theo was knocked out. By the time Aidan healed and we all woke up, it was over. You were here. Thea was gone,” Anabel explains.
“What the hell?”
“Yea,” Jo mumbles grimly.
“It was some sort of crazy powerful spell to knock us out like that,” Heath adds.
“Better that then being knocked out, man. My head still hurts. Next time you get to be the outer Guard. They took me out first, didn’t expect me there, I guess, then spelled you guys.” Theo touches the back of his head gently.
“Shit. I almost forgot. We saw the police on our way in, so better hurry up,” Heath states quickly.
I look at Theo, and he nods. For some reason I feel the most comfortable with him. Maybe it’s because we were never super close. “Everybody out. Let’s give Lorelei some privacy before she has to speak with the detectives.”
With that, everyone filters out. Heath stops by the bed, taking my hand, holding it between his. Staring down at my hand cradled in his, he kneels by the bed.
“I love you, Lor. Never do anything like that again, okay? You’re my best friend. You’re everything to me. You almost died. All I can think about is how angry you are. Angry with Theo and Anabel for lying, but mostly with me. I feel it, Lor. I feel your disappointment, your feelings of betrayal. I never meant to or wanted to. When I saw you, Lor…. When I saw your power, the blue hue, the orbs, the flames, I knew I could never protect you again. Not once you knew. I’m sorry. I just wanted you to feel as normal as possible before having the leadership of an entire species thrust upon you. I hope you can forgive me one day and I can earn back your trust. I really do love you, Lorelei. I’ll be back later.” He kisses my cheek gently, leaving me in silence. I feel the pang in my breastbone. Guilt, sadness, bitterness, rage.
My thoughts churn. How did all of this happen? I hold my hands up in front of me, calling forth my power and watching the flames heat my skin. It comforts me, stilling my thoughts. The flames inch up my arms, calling to my wounds, seeping over and into my injuries, healing them. I gasp as my body fixes itself. The sound of knocking at the door has me gasping again, dissipating the flames, and stopping the healing process.
“Come in,” I call.
“Hello,” the door opens, revealing Detectives Ash and Cramb. Detective Ash smiles at me, and I’m once again struck by how familiar and comforting his presence is to me. His warm eyes and gentle smile send shivers through me.
“How are you feeling, Miss Abrahms?”
“I’m all right, I guess. It’d be nice if we stopped meeting like this, though.”
“I’m going to have to agree with you on that. We’re here to ask you some questions if you’re feeling up to it.” I nod, gesturing to the seats my friends vacated minutes earlier. Ash sits on the seat by the bed whilst Cramb presides by the window with an air of annoyance about him.
“Well, Miss Abrahms, do you remember what happened?”
“Please, Lorelei. And it’s all a bit fuzzy still but it’s come back to me in pieces.” Taking a shaky breath, I try to piece it all together in my mind.
“I had met this girl at school, Thea…. I don’t know her last name. The night at the bar, I’d been with her before my attack. She texted me to meet her, and when I got there, Nicole and Greta were there. They were different. Not themselves. Thea started talking all this crazy nonsense about me. How she’d attacked me. She wanted me out of the way over this obsession with a guy from school, Patrick James. I couldn’t leave Nicole and Greta there with Thea, not after my attack. She pulled a knife on me, and I fought her off. I called a friend who was nearby, and she got the girls to the hospital. Thea escaped in the chaos. She called me shortly after we heard about the attack on the hospital and that Nicole and Greta had disappeared. I got a message to meet her at this warehouse and not to tell anyone. So, I snuck away and … Nicole and Greta, they….” I take a
breath. I just need to finish this.
“They were there. They weren’t moving. Hanging from some beams. She came at me again. This time I was prepared. She had her knife, and I used a piece of pipe I had hidden in my jacket. I hit her, but she struck me hard and stuck me with her knife. She was coming at me again when out of nowhere Patrick flew in and pushed me out of the way. I hit my head, and I must have blacked out. I don’t remember anything after that.”
Silence stretches across the room. Detective Ash stares at his notepad. Suddenly, Detective Cramb turns to me. “That’s everything?’
“Yes.”
“Nothing strange, perhaps unusual, happened?” He stares at me, his gaze piercing.
“You mean other than having a crazy woman try to kill me and having two classmates murdered and a guy I had been seeing accused of murder and on the lam? No, absolutely not.”
Ash chuckles from his seat. Cramb continues a barrage of questioning that only keeps my back up. I refuse to bend or break for this man. Not only will I not explain the true nature of events, I will not help to frame Patrick, when Thea was the true villainous.
As both detectives stand to leave, Ash turns to me, his hand outstretched. “Thank you for your honesty. If you need anything, call me.”
The moment our hands touch, I feel it. A spark. Again. Dropping his hand quickly, my eyes roam his face. His smile only widens. “I’ll see you soon.” He winks. As he walks out the door, I felt him tapping my mind, whispering, Be careful who you trust.
What. The. Hell. The whispering in my ear, the comforting sensation, and a flashback. The dreams. The man in my dreams comforting me with blue eyes. It was him and I was positive of the fact.
I feel the sudden urge to run. To run and run and to never look back. I’m surrounded by creatures. Creatures of light, creatures of dark, but creatures all the same. Ash speaking in my mind is the final straw. I know he’s like me but it doesn’t matter, I can’t take it anymore. I need space. I feel my skin crawling. I just want one breath, one moment that isn’t a mess. Free from misery, anger, malice, death. I scramble out of bed, shaking, gasping for air. Clawing at the IVs in my arms, I tear out of my gown. Dressing in clothes Anabel had dropped by, I make my way out of the hospital and back to my apartment without incident.
Standing naked in the bathroom mirror, flames covering my body as I heal myself, I watch mesmerized. Could I always do this? Or is this a byproduct of the vials of potion I took? I practice expanding my flames, my energy, to create a shield. I smile, pushing the energy out and shielding the entire small bathroom. I can’t wait to test my abilities further.
I don’t have to wait long either. Bast starts visiting me in my dreams regularly. The first time is terrifying.
“Bast!” I exclaim.
“Hey, Lorelei.” She smiles, her emerald eyes bright with mischief. “I’ve got a surprise for you. Come on.” I follow Bast as we walk. She leads me from a lush forest area through to a clearing. The sun beats down on my skin, the heat feeling all too real.
“What are you doing in my dream, Bast? Why not come to me in person?”
“Too dangerous right now, remember? I’m on a mission. As for what I’m doing here, look around you, Lorelei. What do you think we’re doing here?”
“Well, considering we’re in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nature … my guess is training?” I inflect the last word.
“Exactly. We’ll meet in your dreams twice a week for elemental training. You need to learn to wield water, call it to you, and see how you can make your ethereal fire interact with your water element. We’re going to strengthen you, L. You’re going to be one badass Gifted leader.”
I laugh effusively. “Okay. But this is all your element. Where do we start?”
“Just watch, L.” She closes her eyes and continues speaking. “Do you feel the sun heating your body? The cool damp earth around your ankles, swirling up? Doesn’t it feel real? We’re in Alabama right now…. Did you know that, Lorelei? Do you know why? Because of the soil.”
Her eyes snap open, the feline glowing emeralds narrowing in on me. She bends down and grabs a fistful of soil, letting it run through her fingers. She smiles wryly. “There are different kinds of soil, you know? But this, this is the best. Loam. It’s sand, silt, and clay. It’s great for farming, but it’s even better for me. It’s energy, the life force for nature and people. Our survival, our future, right here in my hand. Without it, how would we grow crops, or have trees for oxygen, wood, everything we rely on? It’s beautiful.” She kneels as she talks, digging a small hole and packing a small amount of the dirt in her hands.
She sits, stooped like that in silence, eyes closed, her body relaxing. Her hands held open, I watch as the soil begins to trickle up out of her hands, little by little. It flies up and over her head, spinning in a spiral, until the last particle is in the air. Her eyes open then, and I jump back, my entire body bursting into blue flames as I stare into silver eyes.
“Don’t be afraid, L. It’s just my element. Trust me, please.” I calm myself, my flames evaporating instantly.
“Now imagine if I call more soil forth. A cyclone of soil, spinning as fast as I want it to go. Imagine the destruction.” The small twister moves through the air above her head toward me, gaining speed. Soon it encompasses my head. I can’t see or breathe. I hold my shirt to my face, coughing. It stops suddenly, a rain of dirt falling down on me, covering my head. I shake my head angrily, smacking the dust off of me.
“What the hell was that, Bast? That wasn’t necessary, and you know it!” I huff prissily.
“Sorry. I guess I got a little carried away.” Bast smiles at me coyly. I mutter a few obscenities at her, but she ignores them good-naturedly. She walks over to me and grabs my arm with one hand, snapping her fingers with the other.
The scene around us changes. I know immediately that we are back in Oregon. We are at Lake Oswego on the bank. “Wow,” I breathe. “I haven’t been here in forever. Heath’s family owns a house over here. He used to bring me up here with him on the weekends sometimes.” I smile to myself at the memories.
“Yea. Anabel used to tell me. You guys all came up here for graduation. She said you always seemed at peace when you were here. So I thought this would be the easiest place for you to wield your power. The memories give you calm, and that’s what you need right now. So, Lorelei, I need you to clear your mind. Focus on a happy memory here on the lake.”
“Okay.” I sigh, taking a deep breath. Closing my eyes, I picture the first thing that comes to mind. It was the first time Heath had brought me here. We were seventeen, and I had been deeply depressed. My father had forgotten my birthday, and I was working forty hours a week at the store cashiering and helping to pay my father’s bills. To top it off, I missed Prue desperately. He invited me here, blowing off friends and his girlfriend to help me. His reasoning was that I couldn’t go through life without knowing how to swim. It offended him, my fear of water, my inability to master something so ‘basic,’ as he said.
I laugh, remembering my refusal to get in the water, my fear when he bodily threw me in, and I flailed about helplessly. We spent the whole day on the lake, and I still can’t swim. He eventually gave up because I almost drowned us both on several occasions, but it was a great day. Later we drank, had a bonfire, danced, and talked through the night. That was the first time he called me his best friend.
“You pick a good one?” Bast breaks me from my reverie.
“Yeah.” I crack one eye open.
“Close them!” She snaps. “Focus on your memory. I need you to lean down, stick your hand in the water. Cup it and bring it up, letting the water flow from your fingertips. Yes, like that.”
She guides me as I sit cross legged, leaning over slightly, letting the water slough from my hand again and again.
“Feel it, Lorelei. Feel the water. It’s pure energy to you. You command it. Wield it. Think of your memory and call on the water to do somethi
ng. Focus. It’s just like your demon fire.”
I breathe in and out, in and out, concentrating. I feel a pull deep inside, an awakening in my mind. The memory fades as I see the water in my mind yielding to me. A wave of adrenaline hits me when Bast gasps and my eyes fly open.
My vision is tinted blue, and I know immediately my eyes have changed color. I smile as I see what I have done. An arc of water, about four feet wide, flows over us, over the dock, like a fountain. Water feeds up, around and down, above our heads. I burst into laughter and grab Bast’s hands. I twirl around, taking her with me, dancing and laughing, as I make the arc stop flowing and rain down on us. She hugs me in triumph.
We fall together down on the dock a few minutes later, my body depleted of adrenaline, energy, and awareness. Bast takes my hand, checking my pulse. She lets me lie there for several minutes as I drift in and out.
“You have a lot to learn. Time and practice will build your strength. This elemental power is tricky. It’s not like the energy we all have. This is draining, but its benefits when learned are astounding. You could get the entire lake working for you. Anabel told me you have a fear of water, but now you don’t even need to know how to swim. You fall in; it lifts you up. You could walk on water! My God, think about that!”
“Bast, can you yield an entire desert?” I ask sarcastically.
“I don’t know. I’ve never tried. You want to try?” I give a tired half-smile, knowing she is only half-kidding. I yawn, and my eyes close of their own accord. I fall asleep listening to Bast tell me a story about the history of Gifted and Dark families.
When I awake the next day, it is four in the afternoon
All I can think is, Did she take me to Alabama?
I go over it in my head, wondering if it was possible for me to go to Alabama and Lake Oswego while sleeping and physically use my powers, thereby draining me and causing me to sleep all day. I end up confused and with a headache. My new philosophy is not to think about it too much. Overthinking does no good.
Chapter Twenty-One
I call into work and find I have another two weeks left on leave. Thank you, Anabel. Emails from my professors inform me I have aced my midterm papers as Anabel had said, but I have another week’s worth of reading and work to catch up on. So, I buckle down, focusing on my readings and assignments.
Returning a few days later, I speak to the school, exempting myself from having to return to actual classes for the rest of the quarter. There’re only a few weeks left, and each professor is willing to work with me so I don’t have to sit in those classes without Nicole, Greta, and their suspected killer, Patrick.
Each night, I have nightmares. Even the two nights a week I see Bast, right before or after I have a nightmare. The nightmares are about my mother and Thea, but mostly it’s Greta’s sweet face haunting me. She pops up, pleading for help, or accusing me of abandoning her. I failed her. Thea is alive and she can’t find peace. After every nightmare, I wake crying. During the day I just sit in silence. At night I can feel them out there.
Jo, Aidan, Heath, Theo, Anabel. I know they’re there. I feel their presence, their power. I never answer my phone, and eventually they stop calling. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to them. I just have nothing left to say. Jo and Bast were the only ones who’d ever been honest and, truth be told, I don’t really know Aidan.
I finish all my coursework early, thanks to all my free time. With all that had happened, I decide not to walk for graduation, which is a week and a half away.
Eventually, I go back to work. My first day back, Jackson pulls me upstairs to continue our previous discussion, but I stop him.
“We’re union, Jackson. You want my job. You want to take away my pay. Fight me for it. Next time we talk like this, management and a union rep need to be here.” With that, I walk out to the floor. I’ve became deadened at work, more so than usual. I go through the motions. Smiling hurts. I can’t do it. Every smile feels like a slap in the face. How could I smile with so many dead? So much blood on my hands.
The only time I feel free is when I practice my Gifts. I’ve taken to disappearing to abandoned buildings or factories to practice. The night of graduation, I sit in my room, alone. In the darkness, I stare at my phone. Missed calls from Heath, Anabel, Theo, and my sister Prue. Voicemails and texts I can’t respond to. Not one from my father.
I’d been burning myself out to avoid the inevitable, finding myself. When I first met Bast, she gave me the books, one of which is the lineage of all Gifted leaders. I still can’t bring myself to open it. Once something is known, it can’t be unknown, and I don’t know if I’m ready for those answers.
In the dark, I can be whoever I want to be. Only that’s a lie I tell myself. Here I sit, wondering if I can trust myself. When I think of Patrick, I feel strange, almost hollow. No romantic feelings. Just a kinship and a genuine fear for his well-being. So, which feelings are real? When I was mad for him, or this new sisterly affection?
My hopes for the future are gone. Dead. People are dead because of me. There’s a psychotic monster who wants to bathe in a river of blood. Her Red River Song. So I sit alone, planning, preparing, in the dark. I can feel Jo out there tonight. I feel her rage simmering just beneath the surface. In the end, I know we will stand united—Bast, Jo, and I, and all factions of Others out there. We will stand together against Thea and her minions. It will end in the river of blood Thea so desperately wants, and we will sing our Red River Song of victory.
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