Yeah, she had family now, and for the first time, Eve had no idea what to do with them. They were just as intimidating and as controlling as Timothy was rumored to be. They were just sneakier about it than Timothy.
Eve herself had never seen Timothy playing those games with her or her family. Of course, the Mackay sisters had never done anything to cause him to need to investigate them, or for him to have to maneuver them into protecting themselves.
For five years Eve had lived in a dream world that she was now terrified was no more than a lie.
Dawg loved her and her family; she knew that. But he was manipulating and controlling her, and she was suddenly afraid he had been controlling them all along. Especially her, where Brogan was concerned.
As she wandered through the backyard, stopping to talk to cousins, friends, and various Mackay relations, she looked around for Dawg, Rowdy, and Natches.
She found Dawg with Timothy, standing at the oversize barbecue grill, where Timothy was grilling the burgers and hot dogs. Eve couldn’t help but wonder whether she was wrong about the man her mother was in love with, as she had been wrong about Dawg.
Watching them talk, though, she saw Timothy pause and glance up at Dawg disapprovingly. As Dawg continued to talk, Timothy frowned and, without so much as the flicker of an eyelash, froze so completely that Eve knew he was livid. She’d known Timothy long enough that sometimes, unless he was trying to hide what he thought and what he felt, she could detect his anger.
Her gaze moved to Dawg. As she watched, his arms crossed over his broad chest and a scowl darkened his face. Then Timothy shook his head.
Dawg began protesting, and Timothy was ignoring him.
She would love to be the fly on that wall rather than the one watching from afar. Except she doubted Timothy would have discussed her with Dawg if she was close enough to hear.
Eve forced herself to move away.
Dawg once warned her and her sisters of the rules of the Mackay house, so to speak: Don’t betray yourself, your family, or your country, he’d told her. If they could adhere to those few rules, then they would always have family.
For the first time since she’d become a part of his family, she’d lied to him. And she was smart enough to know that part of her anger toward him had a lot to do with the fact that she had broken a promise, and now, she feared, she had risked not just her place with the Mackays, but also her sisters’ and mother’s places.
What Dawg had done was wrong. He’d played her in some way and she knew it. She just wasn’t certain how yet, and that hurt her, just as it risked her trust in him. But never her trust in the fact that he loved her family.
Or he had loved her.
Would she do it again? she wondered as she slipped into the house to find a little privacy for a while.
Eve knew she would.
Brogan had broken her heart, but staying away from him was so impossible that she had forced herself to work until she collapsed into bed around daylight. The less time she spent anywhere close to him, the better.
Not that she had seen him around very often. He seemed to be gone more often than not. Even Jed and Eli hadn’t been around much.
She couldn’t stay busy enough to forget the night and the morning she had spent in his arms, though. The memory of it tormented her. She couldn’t sleep without dreaming of it. She ached for him. She missed him.
And she was beginning to wonder whether perhaps he had lied to her in the worst possible way. Maybe he was one of those men who, once they’d had her, were just finished with a woman.
“Hey, Eve.” Rogue Mayes, a friend of the family and, as Grandpa Mackay liked to call her, his adopted granddaughter, waved at Eve from a table set beneath the huge oak at the side of the yard.
Smiling whether she felt like it or not, Eve moved to the couple and stared at the baby Rogue was holding close to her breast.
Little Ezekiel Mayes Jr. was only three weeks old, and looked impossibly tiny to Eve. He was filling out wonderfully, though. The cap of red fuzz on his head reminded her too much of Brogan’s red hair, while everything else about him was the image of his father.
“How gorgeous.” She breathed out as Rogue handed the baby to her carefully. “I didn’t think I’d ever get a chance to come out and see him.” She sighed.
“Yeah, I did good, huh?” Rogue laughed.
“You did excellent,” Eve assured her as she caressed the baby’s soft, rounded head before turning to the father. “You didn’t do too bad yourself, Sheriff.”
Zeke chuckled at the compliment. “At least you acknowledge that I might have had a hand in him. Your brother and cousins seem to believe immaculate conception occurred.”
“Eh, that’s because they think Rogue’s a sister, too,” she assured him. “And you know all their sisters are pure, sweet, and completely innocent.”
Zeke turned to his wife in surprise. “Has anyone told his sisters that yet? If they have, they’ve completely ignored the concept.”
Eve couldn’t help but laugh at the playful mockery as she handed the baby back to his mother. “He’s gorgeous. He’s going to break hearts right and left when he grows up.”
Rogue beamed in pride, while Zeke’s chest must have puffed out two feet.
As Eve turned to skirt the main part of the yard, she heard her name called out again.
“Auntie Evie. Auntie Evie.” Erin Jansen, Natches’s niece, was running through the yard, a smile covering her face as her long dark hair flew out behind her.
That child was going to have the boys worshiping at her feet, Eve thought as the six-year-old ran to her. Bending, Eve caught her, lifting her as Erin wrapped her arms around her neck for a tight hug.
“I missed you.” Erin beamed as Eve set her back on her feet, then bent down in front of her.
“I missed you too, baby.” Eve grinned as the little girl stared back at her with eyes an odd mix of green and gray. The world would label the color hazel, but there was no way such a tame description could describe it. At any time, there were at least two shades of green playing with the unusually dark gray color.
“I’m gonna go play with Bliss now.” She jumped around like a little Mexican jumping bean on caffeine. “Love you, Auntie Eve.”
“Love you, baby.” Eve smiled back at her, watching as she skipped off, the pretty summer dress she wore bouncing around her.
At that second, the possibility of being pregnant slammed into her so hard, Eve lost her breath.
Pressing her hand to her stomach, she looked around wildly, desperate to escape now, to find someplace to think, to ache in peace.
Someplace where so many people weren’t around her and possibly watching her.
Entering the quiet house, Eve moved through the kitchen, remembering the years that the reunion had been held in the house, and the kitchen had been brimming with people, laughter, and food.
It had quickly outgrown the house, though—so much so that Grandpa Ray and his “boys” had gone in together and built the backyard kitchen, with its huge grill, gas stove, and a sink so big Eve had teased them that it could double as a tub.
The whole thing was built under a massive gazebo-style shelter with a fireplace at one end and sliding windows that allowed the whole interior to be open to the yard in the summer to catch the breeze that rolled out of the mountains. In the winter it could be enclosed and, with the warmth of the fireplace, made a wonderful gathering area.
Moving to the living room and sitting on the sofa, she slipped her sandals from her feet and curled her legs beside her. Resting her head in the corner of the furniture Eve stared into the shadowed room as she closed her eyes and fought her tears.
She’d been crying for a week and she was tired of it. She hated it.
Not that fighting the tears often did her any good. Just as they did now, there were those tears that escaped her control and eased down her cheek.
“I’ll have to kill him if he’s the reason you’ve been crying for a week.??
? Dawg’s declaration had her eyes flying open as she quickly swiped the tears from her cheek.
“I can’t talk to you yet,” she whispered, refusing to look at him.
She couldn’t look at him. She felt too guilty. She’d made a promise, and no matter what he’d done, that didn’t change the fact that she had broken her word to him.
Dawg let out a hard breath and a second later she felt him sit down beside her.
Leaning forward, his big hands clasped between his spread legs, he stared at the floor thoughtfully.
“Do you hate me now, little sister?”
Swinging her head around, she stared at him in surprise. “Hate you? For what? Caring enough for me that you tried to protect me?” She sniffed back more tears. “Wouldn’t that just make me more awful than I already feel I am?”
Her voice was hoarse with the effort to hold back her emotions as she watched him, despising herself for the brooding look she saw in his eyes.
Finally he shook his head slowly. “You’re not an awful person at all, Eve,” he seemed to chide her gently. “What would make you think you are?”
Her breathing hitched as she pushed back a sob. “I lied to you. I didn’t mean to, but I gave you my word and I broke it. I broke it and I blamed you for my own guilt when I knew, you may not have been able to explain why, but you were only trying to protect me.”
His brows lowered, his expression becoming dangerously still.
“Eve, do you think I’d hold that against you?”
She couldn’t maintain his look. Turning away, she whispered, “One of the few things asked is that we not betray family.” She shrugged. “I lied . . .”
“And I think I’ll kill Brogan and just have it done with,” he threatened as her gaze swung back to him. “Because it’s obvious that falling in love with him has somehow weakened your mind.”
Never let it be said that Dawg Mackay was afraid to state his opinion.
Eve shook her head in confusion. “I promised . . .”
“Pretty much because I manipulated you into that promise and exerted as much guilt as I could to ensure you made it.” He snorted. “Eve, sweetheart, you can’t let the people you love do this to you.” Reaching out, he wiped a tear from her face as his expression eased. “Honey, I never blamed you for breaking your promise. Hell, I knew you would break it.”
“Then why did you come to the cabin?”
“Because the night before, someone had broken into your room and trashed it maybe?” He sighed. “It took several hours for me to find out you had left with Brogan. He wasn’t answering his phone, and yours was going straight to voice mail. No one knew where the two of you were or where Brogan planned to go. If it hadn’t been for Timothy and the fact that he knew the location of the cabin, then I would have driven myself wild thinking that you were hurt, or worse.”
Lips parted, Eve stared back at him in surprise. “I hadn’t known about my room until I returned home.”
“I was going to tell you before you left the cabin.” He sighed. “It’s just . . . Hell, sis, I took one look at Brogan that morning and I knew you’d slept with him. Then all I could think was, ‘That bastard was sleeping with my baby sister.’ Sometimes I forget you’re an adult. I still see that wary, uncertain teenager who watched me with that sure and certain knowledge I was going to let her and her family fend for themselves.”
Eve looked away from him.
She’d been terrified when she’d returned home to find her suite trashed. So terrified she’d accepted her mother’s offer to move into the extra bedroom above the inn.
She was still in that bedroom.
“Come on; you’re not crying because you broke a promise I knew you’d never be able to keep,” he chided.
She was almost amused. Sliding a sideways look toward him, she caught the concerned look on his face.
“Then why did you ask me to promise, Dawg?” She didn’t know how to feel about anything this week. Or how to deal with such strong, stubborn men.
“Because I was fighting to find a way to protect you, Eve.” He reached back and rubbed his neck with an air of weariness. “I could see what was going on between you and Brogan. I’ve watched it building between the two of you, and when I saw it was going to happen, and it was going to happen soon, I needed time to finish some things.”
Did he know?
Her eyes narrowed on him. “What are you talking about?”
He sat back on the sofa and watched her quietly. “I know Brogan’s an agent for DHS, Eve. I suspected at first, but then I knew what he was doing here. You don’t have to keep that secret for him, from me.”
“I never asked to be told.” She picked at a loose thread on the knee of her jeans as her throat thickened with emotion. “Is he okay?”
“Why do you ask?”
“He’s not been at the inn in a few days,” she revealed. “I was just wondering.”
“You’ve been worried as hell,” he corrected her. “Timothy says you’ve been pacing your bedroom.”
She shrugged again. “I was just wondering.”
“He had some things to take care of in D.C.,” he told her. “He should be back in a few more days, from what I understand.” Thank God.
Eve felt a sense of relief expand inside her. She hadn’t realized how worried she had been until Dawg had confirmed that Brogan was okay.
“Do you love him, Eve?” he asked, his gaze so heavy she felt her lips tremble.
“Does it matter?” She had asked herself that question all week.
“You don’t think it does?”
“It didn’t seem to matter to him.” A bitter laugh escaped past her lips as the ache in her chest echoed to her soul. “He had a job to do. I was a way to do that job.”
“Hmm,” Dawg murmured. “I guess that was why he waited two and a half years to do it, if that’s true? Strange, if I knew that there was an asset that could help me solve a case, I believe I’d be on her ass first thing out.”
She picked at the thread on her jeans again, not certain what to say now.
“Eve, do you know what having you meant for him?” Dawg pressed.
Eve shook her head.
“It meant dragging you into a case and endangering you for the very fact that you were there. I may be pissed at him for not keeping his hands off you until this was over, but I’m not a stupid man, honey. You want him as much as he wants you. You didn’t know why he was there; all you knew was that you couldn’t believe the rumor that he could do anything illegal. A man can fight himself, but he can’t fight the woman who can break down his defenses with a smile. Or a tear.” Lifting his hand, he used his thumb to wipe away another tear. “I don’t know the man as much as I know his history, but I do know he was engaged once, years ago. Until his fiancée had their baby aborted while he was at the training academy, just before joining DHS. It damn near killed him. He had relationships, but never with a woman close enough to an operation to be identified or endangered.”
Eve was so thankful she hadn’t been looking at Dawg when he spoke of Brogan’s fiancée’s abortion that she nearly closed her eyes thankfully.
“I met Brogan just before he joined the academy,” Dawg reflected as Eve hung on every word. “I think it was a few days after he left his fiancée. He was talking to his father as I walked up to the table.” He shook his head regretfully, compassion filling his odd green eyes. “His fiancée had informed him within minutes of his arrival that she had aborted the baby. It damned near broke him. He looked his father right in the eye and told him he’d wanted that kid. That he’d have never turned his back on his child as his father had. Then he stood up and walked away from this big, tough FBI director as though he didn’t have the power to yank his placement at DHS in a heartbeat.” He rubbed his jaw before scratching at it thoughtfully. “I’d trust Brogan Campbell with my life, Eve. I know I never showed it, but he was undercover. Showing it would have endangered him, and though I trust him, there’s not a whole lot I kno
w about him. But I know he’s not a man who trusts women, and he’s not a man who ever gives all of himself except to his job. I guess I worried about that. Worried about you and your tender heart.”
And he was right to worry, Eve thought as she swiped at another tear. Here she sat, her heart broken, wishing she knew how to deal with what Brogan had done, and the impact it had had on her heart.
“What would you do,” she whispered, tears thick in her voice. “What would you do if it were you, and something happened?” She swallowed tightly, lifting her gaze, knowing he would know once she asked. “If something happened and there was a possibility your lover was pregnant after that happened to you?”
Another tear fell.
For a moment it was all she could do not to start sobbing, to beg him to fix it like he had every other problem she’d ever brought to him.
He watched her in confusion for only a second before understanding filled his gaze, darkened it, and shadowed it with pain.
“Ah, Eve, sweetheart,” he whispered sorrowfully, that understanding filling his voice along with the pain. “What happened?”
Briefly, her voice breaking, she explained the condom breaking, then Brogan’s admission that he hadn’t intended to tell her. At least, not until it had been too late for her to do anything about it.
Dawg didn’t appear to get angry, though he did tense, and for a second his eyes flashed with something dangerous.
Finally, he exhaled roughly as he rubbed his hand over his face.
“Do you know yet?”
She shook her head. “But that’s not why it hurts, Dawg.” Her breath caught as she continued to fight her tears. “What hurts . . . He knows me,” she cried, her fists clenching, the pent up sobs escaping. “I know he does. Everyone thinks he’s a traitor, but I knew better. All the nights he was sitting on the porch when I would come in from the bar, we’d talk.” She sniffed. “For two and a half years, Dawg. We talked and we’ve laughed. And through those conversations I knew things about him, and he didn’t have to say it.” She swiped at more tears. “But something this important, as important as a child, and he thought I was that cold?”