‘But Dr Bryce wouldn’t be considering a xenograft if he didn’t truly believe that it stood every chance of success,’ Dr Ehrlich argued.
‘What’s a xenograft?’ I asked.
‘Animal organ transplants are known as xenografts,’ she explained quickly. Mum had all of her attention and it was as if she resented any second spent not arguing Dr Bryce’s case.
‘This complement blocker you were talking about,’ Dad began. ‘Has that been tested? D’you know for sure that it works?’
‘We certainly do. We tested it on specially treated rabbits and the results were very encouraging.’
‘So this complement blocker is your way of trying to make sure that the human body won’t reject the foreign heart,’ said Dad.
‘Absolutely right.’ Dr Ehrlich was all smiles again. ‘And let me tell you, it works. This way.’
She left the lab and marched briskly to the very end of the corridor, opening up yet another security door. To my surprise, I saw that it was a changing room with lockers and shower cubicles.
‘Cam, if you and your dad could strip off your clothes and have a shower.’ Dr Ehrlich pointed to one side of the changing rooms. ‘Mrs Kelsey, I’ll show you to the women’s changing rooms.’
‘I beg your pardon?’ Dad said indignantly.
‘Oh, I’m not accusing you of having offensive body odour or anything like that.’ Dr Ehrlich grinned. ‘But all of us have to have a shower immediately before and immediately after contact with our pigs.’
‘You’re joking.’ I couldn’t believe my ears.
Dr Ehrlich shook her head. ‘Trudy and the others are very special pigs and we can’t take the risk of them catching something and becoming infected.’
‘You seriously expect us to shower just for some pigs?’ Mum was scandalized. ‘And what d’you mean you can’t risk them catching something and becoming infected? We’re more likely to catch something from them than the other way around.’
‘I’m sorry, but i8217;s something we all have to do. No one is allowed to see the pigs without showering and gowning-up first.’
‘This is ridiculous.’ Dad agreed with Mum and I agreed with both of them.
‘I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is. I’m sure you understand. We have to keep the pigs’ environment as pure as possible. You wouldn’t want us to give Cameron an already contaminated or infected heart, would you?’ Dr Ehrlich smiled. ‘Besides, Trudy and the others love all the fuss we make of them. They think it’s a great game.’
I frowned. ‘Sounds like Trudy and the others get treated better than I do!’
Mum frowned. ‘Cam, d’you really want to go through with this?’
I nodded. ‘Yes, I do. We’ve come this far. We can’t turn back now.’
‘Good. Good.’ Dr Ehrlich’s smile broadened. ‘Once you’ve all had your showers, go out through the other door and put on one of the surgical outfits hanging up in bags on the wall. Make sure you put on the mask and gloves as well. Mrs Kelsey, your surgical outfit is already hanging up in the women’s changing room.’
‘Come on, Mum. Let’s just get it over with.’ I spoke before my mum could have another rant.
The doctor led Mum out of the door. Mum marched behind her without saying another word. I didn’t need to see her expression to know what she thought of the way we were being treated. With a sigh, I had a look around. The shower room looked a bit like the cubicles at the swimming baths.
‘OK, Cam. Let’s get going,’ said Dad.
We each went to our own cubicles. I stripped off and hung my clothes carefully on the two pegs in the cubicle.
All this to see some pigs! It was bizarre. With each step, with each passing moment, I was getting drawn deeper and deeper into this other world. A world of hope and dreams all tied around the strangest set of circumstances – and a pig named Trudy. I left the cubicle and headed for the showers. From the sound of it, Dad had beaten me to it. Adjusting the temperature in my shower cubicle, I still couldn’t believe what I was doing. Anyone would think I was going to operate on the pigs, for goodness’ sake! All I wanted to do was look at them – at Trudy in particular.
Still, the water felt warm and soothing against my skin. I closed my eyes, allowing the water to play over my face and body. Each drop beat a tiny tattoo against my skin. For once, I wasn’t aware of my heart. The world was the sensation of warm, running water. And it was so peaceful, so good. I smiled, but my smile faded into sadness. For a brief but welcome moment I had forgotten why I was there in the first place.
I stepped out of the shower and looked around for a towel. Hanging up next to each shower cubicle was a towel in a polythene bag. Shaking my head, I tore the bag open and dried my skin. Tying the damp towel around my waist, I headed towards the second door. I stepped out into a room so bright that it made me blink a few times. Fluorescent strips covered the ceiling and the walls were an antiseptic white. Dad had already got dressed. I saw the bag with my name written on it. Opening the bag. I put on the green surgical trousers and top. There was even a cap which covered my entire head, a surgical mask and gloves. By the time I was finished there was no part of me left exposed except my eyes.
‘What do we do now?’ I asked Dad.
Dad shrugged and pointed to a different door to the one we had used to enter. We walked out to find Dr Ehrlich and Mum waiting for us in a corridor we’d not yet seen. Both of them were gowned up but I could see that my mum still hadn’t cooled off.
‘Ready?’
I swallowed hard and nodded.
Dr Ehrlich led the way down the corridor and we entered a small, white room, empty apart from a phone on one wall with a large red button next to it. At the opposite side of the room was something that looked like a metal door frame. A faint buzzing noise came from it, the same sort of noise a fluorescent light gives off. I could tell from the smell that the pigs were near by. In a strange way, the smell was reassuring. It smelt normal – as normal as pig manure could smell! But at least they weren’t dealing with super pigs or pigs who didn’t do what normal pigs did!
Dr Bryce was already there, gowned and waiting. ‘Welcome!’
I could see from the twinkle in his eyes and the creases around them that he was smiling and happy to see us.
‘This way. We each have to pass through the scanner over there.’ He pointed to the metal frame. ‘Then Trudy is in a pen just beyond.’
‘Just a minute, Dr Bryce,’ Mum began. ‘Is it safe? I mean, there’s no chance of any of us . . . catching anything from these pigs, is there?’
‘You’re more likely to pass your germs on to the pigs than the other way around,’ Dr Bryce said, just a hint of a sharp edge to his voice. ‘Let me assure you that the pigs and their pens are cleaned regularly. The pens are properly ventilated, the temperature is regulated and our pigs are very clean.’
‘But is it safe?’ Mum persisted.
‘Of course it’s safe. You’ve had a shower and changed into sterile surgical gowns so there’s no danger to either the pigs or yourself.’ He led the way towards the scanner.
‘Why do we have to be scanned?’ Mum protested. ‘We’ve already showered and got dressed in these surgical gowns. D’you think I’ve got some apple sauce tucked under my hat or something?’
‘It’s just a precaution. And we each have to do it,’ Dr Bryce soothed. ‘It’s just that we have been fooled before and we can’t afford to take any chances. We’ve had someone try to smuggle a knife into the pens before now.’
‘What type of scanner is that?’ Mum’s tone was sharp.
‘It scans for metal objects.’
‘Using what? X-rays?’
‘That’s right. But they’re of a low dosage.’
‘X-rays . . .’ Mum was horrified.
‘A very low dosage.’ Dr Bryce tried to reassure Mum.
‘I’m not going through that thing.’ Even though I couldn’t see all of Mum’s face, I recognized the tone at once.
‘Mrs Kelsey, I can as
sure you—’ Dr Bryce began.
‘No, I’m not setting foot near that thing.’ Mum insisted.
‘But . . .’
‘You don’t understand.’ Mum looked at Dad and me and took a deep breath before turning back to the doctor. ‘Dr Bryce, I’m pregnant and I’m not taking another step until you turn that thing off and assure me that there’s nothing around here that could harm my baby.’
I stared at Mum. I couldn’t believe it.
Mum was going to have a baby.
Why hadn’t she said anything before now? How could she and Dad keep it a secret? I was going to have a brother or sister. Pure joy erupted in me like an exploding volcano. I was going to have a brother or sister.
‘Dad, why didn’t you tell me?’ I grinned.
But Dad wasn’t smiling. He was watching Mum. ‘I didn’t know, Cam. I’m just as surprised as you are,’ he replied quietly.
Dad had a look on his face I’d never seen before. And all at once the look was gone and his face was a mask. His face looked as if it would crumble if he tried to smile or frown or even speak now.
‘Congratulations.’ Dr Ehrlich beamed at Mum. ‘When’s the baby due?’
‘In the New Year – April,’ Mum replied.
I noticed that she still hadn’t looked at Dad. And Dad hadn’t taken his eyes off her.
‘Congratulations, Mrs Kelsey,’ Dr Bryce said. ‘And let me assure you, you’re perfectly safe. I’m sure the scanner would do your baby no harm at all, but as these are exceptional circumstances, I’ll have it switched off for you.’
Dr Bryce walked over to the phone, picked it up and immediately started talking into it. Within a few seconds the scanner buzzed loudly, then the buzzing stopped.
Dr Bryce smiled. ‘Go ahead, Mrs Kelsey.’
Mum walked through the scanner but I could tell she still wasn’t too happy about it. Dr Bryce spoke into the phone again and the scanner was re-activated. ‘I’ve told them that I’ll let them know when we’re ready to leave the pigs, so they’ll turn the scanner off again for you,’ he told Mum as he put the phone down.
‘We’d best get going,’ Mum said.
I walked through the scanner with Dr Bryce. Dad was a step or two behind us.
‘Mum, that’s great news.’ I grinned at Mum.
‘Yes, it is.’ She smiled back at me.
Beyond the room there was a short corridor which bent round to the right. As we turned the corner, there were medium-sized pens lined against one wall, each one sectioned off from its neighbour by solid partitions of about a metre high.
‘This is Greta,’ Dr Bryce announced as we passed the first pig. ‘She is Trudy’s grandmother. When Greta became pregnant, we implanted some of her embryos with human DNA.’
I stared at the pink pig who totally ignored us, her snout in the food trough that lined one side of her small sty. I would have stayed longer to watch her but Dr Bryce swept on.
‘And here she is! Our star – Trudy! Trudy is one of the fourth generation of pigs that have key human characteristics to some of their hormones. We truly believe that Trudy is as close as we’ve come to having a viable heart for transplantation into a human being.’
Well, Cameron – this is it. Keep your own heart and count every beat in case it’s your last. Or have a heart transplant. Simple.
I watched as the huge pig came whiffling up us. Trudy looked straight at me. I looked back at her. She was going to die so that I could live. I told myself that pigs died every day to make bacon and pork pies and chops and sausages. This wasn’t any different – except for the fact that I’d seen the pig first.
She was going to die so that I could live. Wasn’t that a fair exchange?
So why did I feel so . . . guilty? More than guilty, I felt horrible – almost like a murderer. I told myself not to be so stupid. Trudy was just a pig. Just a pig . . . The words sounded like an excuse in my head.
Just a pig . . .
People always used that argument whenever they wanted to use and abuse animals – or even other people. Part of the excuse used to justify slavery was that we black people were ‘less than human’. And the Nazis said the same things about Jewish people. Like Mum said, it was such a convenient excuse. If other people and animals were different but equal, then you had to treat them with the same respect that you wanted for yourself. Different but ‘less than’ was an entirely different proposition. To some people, animals were ‘less than’ human in the way that tables and chairs were ‘less than’ human.
It all boiled down to what I believed. And the trouble was, I did believe that animals had rights – just the same as we humans. So what was I doing here? I had the answer to that one. I was trying to save my own life. And what did that make me? Someone who was the biggest hypocrite in the world, or just someone who was desperate?
But what about Trudy? What was her choice? If she hadn’t been specifically bred to help me and others like me, she would’ve ended up as someone’s Sunday roast or morning breakfast. If only there was some way she could help me without paying for it with her life. Somehow it didn’t seem fair. It didn’t seem right to assume that we could treat her like this, just because she couldn’t protest – at least not in a way that we humans could understand. As I watched the pig, I began to wonder if seeing her wasn’t a mistake.
‘Hello, Trudy,’ I said. ‘My name is Cameron.’
It felt so weird. I shook my head, wondering what on earth I was doing. What had I hoped to achieve?
‘What’s she like, Dr Bryce?’ I asked.
‘Trudy?’
I nodded.
‘Oh, she’s a fine pig. She used to boss all her brothers and sisters around until we separated them off. She’s independent and strong and extremely intelligent. She can be a bit stubborn . . .’
I smiled. ‘You mean, pig-headed!’
Dr Bryce laughed. ‘Yes, exactly. Pig-headed – but she’s got a heart of gold.’
A heart of gold . . .
‘And if you did operate, when would that be?’ I asked.
‘Just as soon as we could arrange it,’ Dr Bryce replied immediately. ‘You still want to go ahead?’
The silence stretched on and on as everyone waited for my answer.
I looked at Dad. He’d started the ball rolling but, from the look on his face, I think he was beginning to wonder what he’d let us all in for. I looked at Mum and reached my decision. ‘More than ever,’ I replied.
It was simple. I had to live now. I had to live long enough to see my brother or sister. Mum was pregnant, maybe even with more than one! It would be terrific if Mum had twins. And with Trudy’s help I would be able to see them and help Mum and Dad look after them. I couldn’t wait.
I looked at Trudy. If I’d been alone, I would’ve hugged her and thanked her properly. She looked straight at me. And I hoped she knew what I was thinking. And I prayed she didn’t mind. I looked at Dad and turned back to Mum. Now Dad was looking everywhere but at Mum and I could feel the tension between the two of them. And slowly the joyous feeling that swirled within me dissipated, to be replaced by something less pleasant.
My stomach churned and turned like a tumble-drier and I actually felt sick. Seconds passed before I realized what was wrong. For the first time since Dr Bryce had come into our lives, I was afraid. Not of the transplant operation – although that was scary enough – but I was afraid of what would happen afterwards. Once the operation was over, what would happen to my family? I couldn’t help feeling that my family was disintegrating before my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it.
Chapter Seven
Talking
On the train, all the way home, no one said a thing that wasn’t a monosyllable. I tried to get Mum and Dad engaged in conversation but I was flogging not just a dead horse, but a rotting one. Mum and Dad had a lot to talk about but there was no way they were going to do it in front of me.
At last we were home.
‘I’m going to work on my Heinkel
111, if anyone wants me.’ Dad didn’t bother to wait around to see if anyone did want him. He headed straight into the front room and shut the door behind him.
Mum watched the front-room door quietly close, her expression grim. ‘I’m going to watch the news.’ She went into the living room.
I watched in dismay as doors closed around me. This couldn’t happen – not now. I wasn’t sure what to do. Unhappily, I trailed after my mum. Opening the door, I saw her sitting on the sofa, staring at the TV.
‘Mum, shall I make dinner tonight?’
‘No, I’ll make it in a minute. I just want to watch the news first.’ Mum continued to stare at the TV.
With a sigh, I turned round to go up to my room. Mum called me back. ‘Cameron, wait.’
Mum stood up and slowly walked up to me. Wrapping me in a bear hug, she said, ‘I love you. You know that, don’t you?’
Waves of embarrassment washed over me. ‘Get off, Mum!’
Mum let me go and smiled. ‘I love you very much. I just wanted you to know.’
I shuffled. ‘I know.’
‘I don’t want you to think that this new baby is in any way . . . a replacement.’
‘I know that too,’ I said, surprised. ‘It’s an addition, not a replacement. Besides, I’m not going anywhere.’
‘’Course you’re not,’ Mum agreed.
‘Just as long as he or she knows that I’m in charge,’ I said loftily.
‘Er, I think you’ll find that I’m the one who’s in charge, not you.’ Mum flicked my chin.
‘Mum?’
‘Yes.’
‘Can I ask you a question?’
Mum smiled. ‘Since when have you needed to ask if you could ask?!’
‘Mum, I’m serious.’
‘Go on then.’
‘Why didn’t you tell Dad that you were going to have a baby?’
Mum’s smile vanished. She sighed deeply and sat down on the sofa again. ‘Don’t you think that should be between your dad and me?’ she asked gently.
I didn’t answer. I stood still, watching.
‘Cameron, your dad and I, we have a lot to work out. And we’ve both had a lot on our minds lately. I didn’t want to add to his . . . concerns by telling him about the baby just yet.’