his arms, but I restrained myself.
“They say that it causes vampires physical pain to be near humans and not drink their blood,” he said as he watched my face. “Do I cause you pain, Empusa?”
He sounded concerned for me- for my well-being- far more than he seemed to be about his own. My heart warmed even more. Except for my mother, I had never known someone who thought about me before they thought about themselves. It was… huge.
“No, you do not cause me pain,” I told him. “I’m not a vampire. But it takes a lot of restraint to not hurt you sometimes. Every once in awhile, I feel an overwhelming need to take your soul from you.”
“What about my blood?” he asked curiously. “Do you want to drink my blood? Is it hard to resist?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t really get cravings for blood. I simply know when I need to eat- I get tired, pale. And when that happens, I must find someone to drink from.”
“I doubt you have trouble finding willing donors,” he said wryly. And then his brow wrinkled. “You don’t… kill people, do you?”
For the first time, he sounded nervous- like he wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear my answer. And I didn’t want to answer him.
“I don’t kill them by drinking their blood,” I confirmed, leaving out a key piece of information. I killed them by taking their souls. And Brennan was astute. He took one look at my face and knew I was holding something back.
“What are you hiding?” he asked gently. “You’re not telling me something.”
I swallowed hard and then swallowed again.
“I’m very dangerous,” I reminded him. “I don’t want you to lower your guard around me.”
“If you aren’t tempted to drink my blood, then what threat are you to me?”
“Your soul is more valuable to you than your blood could ever be,” I explained abruptly. “Your body creates more blood to replace any that is lost. You have one soul. If it is lost or taken from you, then you will die.”
“So, when you steal someone’s soul from them…” his voice trailed off as cold realization dawned on him. “You do kill people.”
“But I don’t like it,” I rushed to say. “I hate it, actually. And I have faith that once everything is sorted out and my father is once again in the Underworld where he belongs, that all of the souls that I have taken will be returned to the Underworld where they can live in peace for eternity.”
“How do you choose?” he asked slowly. “How do you decide who will die?”
I hadn’t noticed until now that he had stepped backwards- away from me. The distance felt like a stake in my heart. I gulped. I hated that he had made such a difference in me already. I hated that I cared what he thought.
“I choose people who are about to die anyway,” I murmured. The words welled up painfully on my tongue and I hated to say them. “That way, it doesn’t feel like I am actually ending their lives.”
He stared at me, his hazel eyes pensive. “Like my uncle,” he stated calmly.
I gulped. I had never, in over a thousand years, had been forced to stand in front of a family member and held accountable for killing someone. It was a hideous feeling. The accusation in Brennan’s eyes impaled me and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
I nodded once, the only movement I was able to make.
From here, I could hear his heartbeat race, louder and harder than it had beat a moment ago. He was frightened. Or upset. Or angry. Maybe all three of those things. And he was silent.
I waited for an uncomfortable moment.
Then another.
Finally I couldn’t stand it.
“Say something,” I pleaded.
“What would you like for me to say?” he asked. “You killed my uncle. I don’t know how I’m supposed to process that. I feel like a traitor because I’m still so drawn to you with this overwhelming attraction. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.”
His voice was tight, his hands clenched at his sides. I had never felt so helpless.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I never asked to be… what I am. I pray every night that I will be given my old life back, that my father will be captured and returned to the Underworld.”
He nodded curtly. “That’s part of what makes this so hard. You’re a victim, too.”
He turned away from me and walked to the fireplace, holding his hands out to the warmth. The flames reflected from his eyes, making them seem golden and I flew to his side, grasping his arm.
“Brennan,” I began softly. “Please believe me. I really liked your uncle. He was ready to go. I didn’t hurt him. He didn’t feel a thing. And someday, he will be with his daughter, where he belongs.”
Brennan gazed down at me. “And until then? Until then, where is his soul?”
I averted my gaze. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I have no idea. I think it’s in limbo.”
He looked away, staring once more into the flames. “Empusa, I’m still angry with you for choosing my uncle. But I’m also furious with your father for doing this to you in the first place.”
“But you understand, don’t you, that I had to?” I beseeched him. “I didn’t want to.”
“I understand that, yes,” he nodded. “And I also understand that you can turn it around. All you have to do is stand in front of Hades and he will un-do the curse- which will free you from its grasp and will release all of the souls you’ve taken. I don’t understand why you haven’t done so already.”
When he said it in such a way, it did make me seem like a monster. I was letting my own fears, my own need for survival, interfere with doing what was right for all of the souls that I had taken over the years. It wasn’t that I hadn’t worried about them- it was just that I blocked it out so that the worry didn’t consume me. But it was here now, front and center, and I had to face it.
“I understand what you’re saying,” I acknowledged. “But it’s harder than it sounds. If I make a wrong move, perhaps all of those souls will be lost. I couldn’t bear that, either.”
“Inaction doesn’t accomplish anything, though,” he said solemnly. And I knew he was right.
“I know,” I admitted. “I know. I promise you. I’ll seek my mother tonight in her dreams. I won’t wait for her to come to me. I’ll go to her instead. I’ll try to sort this out and do the right thing. If I do that, can you forgive me?”
He looked at me, his expression both tender and hesitant. “I already forgave you,” he said quietly. “But I can’t help being angry with you. I’ll work through it.”
My heart dropped into my toes. The idea that he was upset with me chilled me to the bone- even as I knew that he couldn’t help what he felt. But he was being so strong about everything that I felt more drawn to him than ever.
“You’re really amazing,” I whispered. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” he said curtly. “Seriously- let’s stop talking about it. Let’s just get some rest and hopefully you can talk to you mother.”
He turned his back and began pulling the covers down on the bed. “You can have the bed,” he said quietly. “I’ll take the floor.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I answered. “We can share the bed. I’m not going to attack you in your sleep.”
“I wasn’t worried about that,” he replied, turning back to me. “We have this attraction between us. And I’m pretty sure we shouldn’t act on it right now. Sleeping together might not be the best idea.”
“Oh, for Heaven’s sake,” I muttered, brushing past him to drop onto the bed and take my shoes off. “We’re adults. We can restrain ourselves, right?”
He didn’t answer.
Glancing up at him, I raised an eyebrow. “Right?”
“I suppose,” he replied, although he didn’t appear convinced. He sighed. “Honestly, I can hardly keep my hands off of you right now and we’re not even in bed yet. What have you done to me?”
I opened my mouth, but before I could speak, Brennan did.
“Let me guess. It’s part of your curse?”
I nodded. “I have characteristics of a Siren. People are drawn to me. You would think it would be a blessing, but it’s not. I can’t become close to anyone because I might kill them. I’ve been very alone for a long time.”
He stared at me for a long moment. I could practically hear the seconds ticking away before he finally sighed raggedly and opened his arms.
“Come here,” he commanded softly.
I didn’t even realize that my feet were moving before I found myself in his embrace. Burying my head against his chest, I inhaled his scent and closed my eyes. If I could, I would stay right here forever. But I couldn’t and I knew that.
Pulling away, I looked up at him and was surprised to find that my eyelashes were wet.
“I know that we haven’t known each other for every long, but I honestly feel like I’ve known you forever- like I’ve always been waiting for you. I promise you right now that I will do whatever I can to fix this. If you can just be patient…” My voice caught in my throat.
He nodded and lowered his lips to mine.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Chapter Eight
It was very hard to fall asleep when the son of Apollo was sharing your bed, that much was certain. Because Brennan was gigantic, he took up the majority of our sleeping space. On top of that, his muscled arms and legs were pressed against me, causing me to grit my teeth with pent-up frustration.
Every cell in my body longed to reach out for him, to draw him near. But he was right. We shouldn’t act on that attraction yet… not at this juncture. There were so many things unanswered and convoluted. I sighed and flipped over onto my other side, which of course didn’t make anything better. It only served to press his muscles against my back rather than my side. He was also very, very warm. I wondered if it had anything to do with his father being the god of the sun.
I could tell from his even, slow breathing that he was asleep already, so I tossed a few silent names his way. It was so unfair that men could sleep at anytime, anywhere. I jammed a pillow over my head to block out all semblance of light. If I wasn’t able to sleep, then I couldn’t speak with my mother.
In order to enter someone’s dreams, you had to be asleep yourself. You had to enter sleep with a purpose of transporting yourself into their dream the second that you drifted into sleep. It was an art. And it was an art that was impossible if you weren’t able to sleep in the first place.
I groaned.
“Just relax.” Brennan’s deep voice resonated through the quiet room. “You’re never going to fall asleep if you get frustrated.”
“I thought you were sleeping,” I answered tiredly, rolling back to my other side to look at him.
His eyes were open and he was staring at me, his topaz gaze liquid in the night. He appraised me quietly and even though he didn’t touch me, his stare brushed over my skin as potently as his fingers ever could. The tension between us was palpable, I could practically breathe it in and taste it.
“I was,” he replied huskily. “And now I’m not. You’re restless.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I really don’t mean to keep you up. You need your rest too.”
He opened his arms. “Come here,” he instructed. I stared at him hesitantly.
“I’m not sure that’s a great idea,” I admitted, still eyeing him. He had taken his shirt off and the muscles rippled across his broad chest as he moved. He was Apollo’s son through and through.
He smiled and I felt warmed from head to toe. “I promise I’ll behave,” he said solemnly. I paused a scant second longer before I folded into his arms, leaning my forehead against the warm skin of his chest.
He smelled like heaven and his warmth enveloped me like a blanket. I sighed contentedly.
“Okay. Now relax,” he instructed me again. “Nothing will disturb you. I promise you that.”
He sounded so sure of himself, so brave. He had absolutely no idea of what kind of monsters actually existed out in the world. His mortal mind had never seen true evil. But I had. And I knew that in his current, untrained state, Brennan was no match for any of it. But regardless, I did feel comforted and safe in his strong arms. I would worry about training him tomorrow. Tonight, I would let him hold me.
My eyelids closed and I felt his lips softly graze my temple.
“Sleep well,” he said gently. I snuggled closer to him, absorbing his radiant warmth. Picturing my mother in my mind, I ran her through my consciousness on a loop. Before I knew it, I was drifting off and I found myself standing in a cold, hazy place.
I looked around in confusion.
This wasn’t my mother’s dream. It looked like eternal stark winter here. White fog swirled in cold funnels, while gray sky closed in all around me. Dead, blackened trees dotted the horizon and the wind howled. I shivered, rubbing my arms to warm them. My body heat was being sucked out more and more by the second.
This had to be the Wastelands. I’d heard of it before. It was a place that existed between reality and the subconscious. The Fates, the three sisters who used to control destiny, had used this place as a punishment for those who dared go against them. The Fates took their emotions and their souls…and left them here.
I looked around at the vast expanse surrounding me. That didn’t explain why I was here now. The Fates had been imprisoned in the Underworld. They couldn’t do a thing to anyone.
As I pondered it, I couldn’t help but notice the horrifyingly sad atmosphere. Every moment that I was here, I felt more and more forlorn and sad. It was quickly becoming overwhelming. I closed my eyes, anxious to leave. If a person spent much time here, they would rapidly grow suicidal.
“Wait,” a deep voice said. “Don’t leave yet.”
My eyes flew open to find a man standing in front of me, almost consumed by the swirling fog. His long black robes seemed to swirl with the mist, all the way down to his bare toes. His head was shaved and inky black Egyptian script was tattooed on his hands. His eyes were onyx black and glittered as he stared at me. It was impossible to guess his age. But if I had to hazard one, I would say he was ancient.
“Yes?” I answered, as bravely as I could. I forced my feet to remain still and not step away.
“I was sent here by your mother,” the man said. “I brought you to this neutral place because it is safer.”
“My mother?” I asked. “Where is she?”
He ignored my question. “Hecate knows that you seek her,” he said quietly, his voice hoarse with years and wisdom. “It is not safe for you to find her just now. You must stay away.”
My eyes narrowed on their own accord. “How do I know that you aren’t lying? Perhaps you have done something with her yourself.”
The man threw his head back and laughed, a creepy, unsettling sound, and in that instant, I realized that I knew him.
“I’ve seen you before,” I whispered. “Somewhere. But I cannot remember where. Do I know you?”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t. But I know you.”
As he moved, I caught a whiff of his scent and recognition dawned on me. “You were with Harmonia in the Underworld,” I said cautiously. “Your name is Ahmose, correct?”
He nodded. “Yes, that is my name. And yes, I’ve been with Harmonia in many places throughout the years. But I am here now, to help you. Your mother and Harmonia both wished it so.”
Harmonia was the goddess of peace and contentment. In the not so distant past, she had battled the Fates in order to secure the freedom of the Olympians. During the struggles, the Fates had sent Harmonia’s daughter, Raquel, to the Underworld. I had accidentally come across her and had taken care of her until Harmonia could find us. I knew that she would be forever grateful to me because of that. If her right-hand man was here now, it was because Harmonia wished to help me. Knowing this, I chose to believe Ahmose and nodded.
“Fine. My mother sent you. Is she alright?”
He studied me,
his black eyes gleaming. “Your mother is the most powerful witch in the world. She is fine. But it is not safe for you to seek her currently, yet it is not safe for you to linger in the mortal world unprotected, either.”
“I’m not going to Hades,” I cried determinedly. “Can’t you see that we cannot trust him?”
Ahmose held up a calm hand. “Hush now, young one. I was not speaking of going to Hades or even Zeus. Before your curse is lifted, much will come to pass. You must seek out the third brother, Poseidon. You draw strength from water- so what better place for you to seek refuge than an underwater world? Your mother wishes it so and Poseidon is expecting you. You must trade your bracelet for safe refuge in Poseidon’s world. Your mother has arranged it.”
Confusion swirled around me.
“My mother no longer wishes for me to return to the Underworld? Why not? What has happened? What changed her mind? And my bracelet? I cannot! It is enchanted to save my life. She would never ask me to give it away.”
Ahmose shook his head. “There is no time to discuss it. You must leave here. It is only safe to linger here for a few minutes. The despair will overwhelm you otherwise. Your mother had to barter your bracelet- it is a sign to Poseidon that you trust him, a sign of respect. You must give it to him in exchange for safe refuge. I imagine that he will return