Alofel took in a long, deep breath through his nose. His fingers tapped the table-cloth with dangerous economy of movement. ‘I do not want to get into dispute,’ he said. ‘This is not the time nor the place. Again, I feel this is something that our diplomats should discuss.’
Menefer leaned back in his seat, shrugged. ‘I must warn you I am unprepared to leave here without him. My people would be very disappointed in me if I did.’ He gestured languidly. ‘I have a reputation to live up to - my brother’s. You want and need me to be your hand in Mewt, but you must give me weapons and power. Give me Akaten, to return to his people, and their respect for me will be enhanced. I will be honest. Not everyone in Mewt is happy that I am here now. Some still talk of resistance and war.’
Alofel was now severely distressed by Menefer’s words. He knew, and I knew, that Menefer spoke with sincerity and sense. We should return the Khan’s boy; it would be seen as a magnanimous gesture and help kindle warmth towards Cos. But unfortunately, emotions were involved, and good sense is rarely seen in their company. Also, there was the matter of what Akaten himself would feel about the suggestion. His true thoughts remained a secret to both Alofel and myself, but I sensed he would feel uncomfortable being honoured in Mewt when he had accepted the gifts of Harakhte’s conqueror, and shared a bed with a Cossic lover. As I sat there, trying to maintain an outward cool, I began to wonder whether Akaten was secretly pining for his home, for his people. Was his apparent acceptance of his position in Cos simply a device to ensure survival? As the silence thickened around the top table, Menefer made a frantic appeal, perhaps his undoing.
‘My lord king, we have dozens of youths such as Akaten at the Mewtish court. You may have your pick of them, but I beg you to be lenient concerning my request.’
Alofel fixed Menefer with a stern, disapproving eye, and I could see that the Mewt realised immediately that he had overstepped propriety. Alofel smiled, a dreadful sight. ‘My dear Menefer, I assure you I have the pick of any desirable young creatures here in Cos. Akaten is a symbol of my victory, a spoil of war, if you like. I could have had him slaughtered on the field beside your brother, but chose to bring him back to Tarnax only because he was a prominent member of the Khan’s household. If your queen had been present in the camp, I would have brought her home as well and added her to my house of women. I cannot help but suspect that you would have accepted that circumstance with less fuss. If, by some freak chance, your brother had been in my position, he would have done the same as I did. Mewt is my country now, and while I appreciate the wisdom of making conciliatory gestures towards my conquered people, I will not be insulted in my own house, nor be bullied into making gestures against my will. The matter is ended. I would be grateful if you did not mention it again.’ He smiled and took a grape from a silver dish before him. ‘After all, you have a number of ambitious cousins who would happily take your place as regent of Mewt.’
Menefer had gone pale beneath his honeyed skin. I saw his throat convulse. Perhaps he was thinking about how his esteemed brother would have handled this discussion differently, and emerged from its conclusion with more spoils in his hands. Too late now.
The banquet proceeded with a less informal atmosphere than before. I sensed Alofel was now eager to leave the company. Menefer had offended him. Also, I knew that he was enamoured of Akaten, and nothing would convince him to give the boy up. It was fortunate that he had a battery of excuses to present to the Mewt rather than risk exposing the truth. If Menefer knew of Alofel’s feelings, the balance of power in this subtle game would shift considerably.
As everyone stood to leave the table and proceed to the halls of music for entertainment that would drift on towards the dawn, Alofel made a discreet series of signals to me. Understanding their meaning, I nodded briefly, and when my absence would not be noticed, quietly left the shining halls and made my way to the council offices, which were on the same floor. Alofel came to me shortly.
‘You are close to Akaten,’ he said bluntly, as soon as the door was closed behind him. ‘Is there any risk he might collude with Menefer? You can be sure that, before he leaves this court, the Mewt will somehow manage to get a message to the boy. These people are as slippery as greased rats.’
‘I don’t know, my lord,’ I answered truthfully. ‘I doubt I can tell you anything about Akaten and his feelings of which you’re unaware.’
He nodded thoughtfully. ‘Be vigilant, Darien. I cannot risk an incident which might cause embarrassment. You must understand that if Akaten were found to be in league with Menefer, in any way, I’d have no choice but to take punitive action. Perhaps it would be best if you could advise Akaten of this, but as subtly as you can.’
I bowed. ‘I will, my lord.’
‘Good. Now, return to the party ahead of me. Speak kindly to the Mewts. These celebrations are in their honour, after all.’
He held out his hand and I pressed the royal seal on his ring to my brow. He reached out and laid his hand on my head. ‘Dear Darien, your beauty and your kindness paves my path before me. Do not for one moment think that I underestimate all that you are doing for me.’
I hid the cynicism in my eyes, lowered my lashes modestly. ‘My whole life is yours, my lord.’
I should have been more concerned about how determined Alofel was to keep Akaten in Cos and also his mistaken belief that I had befriended Akaten in an attempt to sway his feelings towards Alofel, but at the time, I was just grateful for such a powerful ally. Alofel clearly had no idea how deep my feelings ran, but that was perhaps because the depth of his own love blinded him to the possibility. The thought of Akaten being sent away filled me with a sick dread. If I had to kill Menefer to prevent that happening, I would.
Later, near dawn, I went to Akaten’s chambers. I found him asleep on the terrace, with the sounds of merriment drifting up from below. An empty flagon lay on its side beside him, next to a cup still half full of wine. He was wearing only a belted robe of soft, dark material, which hung open to reveal his thighs and shoulders, tantalisingly clasped at the waist to hide the fruit of his body. A night breeze had made a dune of fallen petals along my beloved’s side. His hair was spread out on the tiles, and his puppy lay curled upon it. Merely the sight of him engorged my lust. I fell to my knees beside him, ran my hands over his cool skin. The puppy awoke and scampered off, his claws ticking against the tiles. Akaten murmured something and shifted slightly in his deep, intoxicated sleep. My fingers slipped free the knot of his belt and I pulled aside the cloth. His prick was thick and hard, against his belly, his balls tight against his body. Perhaps he dreamed of me. Feverishly, I disrobed myself, knowing I was about to steal something precious and divine. My belly burned inside me. Naked, I knelt beside him once more, loosed my hair so that it fell in inky waves onto his skin. I lowered my head to his groin, lightly kissed his fragrant balls, the steely shaft of him. Still he did not wake. Lightly, I took him in my mouth and sucked him softly. His hands twitched against the tiles; he sighed. His hips moved rhythmically beneath me. Oh, my beautiful one, you cannot want to leave me. I am your incubus, your nemesis. You must love me.
I raised myself and straddled his body, impaled myself upon him slowly. The tides of sleep drew back from the shores of his consciousness. I sensed his mind drifting up to wakefulness. Still half dreaming, he reached up to me, gripped my waist. His face was partly hidden by a swatch of hair, but I could see he was smiling, his eyes still closed. We moved together languorously, until his hunger became great. Then he reared up in one fluid movement and pushed me backwards without severing our connection, manoeuvring himself onto his knees. I curled my legs high around him, feeling as if he drove against my heart. He was powerful, dominant, and in my heart and mind I was taken back to that delirious time in Phasmagore. My lover of the shrine had returned to me! It had been Akaten! As this realisation crashed through me, I cried out in euphoric release, pushing my heels against the sky. He reached between us for my prick, aiding my orgasm, and presen
tly I felt him convulse within me. He fell upon me, sought my mouth with his own, filling me with his tongue which was bitter-sweet with the taste of red wine. I began to weep, suffused with a sense of eternal joy and repletion.
Then Akaten sighed deeply and stroked my face. ‘Harakhte,’ he murmured, and my heart contracted in agony. I realised he had never truly awoken.
It was impossible for me to sleep, but I could not leave him. For the remainder of the night, I lay beneath him, with his gentle snores in my ears. When he finally awoke, I expected him to be surprised I was there, but he merely blinked at me sleepily and smiled. ‘Darien, I’m glad you came to me.’
I could not be entirely warm towards him. ‘You were dead drunk. Does the presence of Menefer cause you so much pain?’
His eyes clouded at my sharp tone. He sat up and looked away. ‘I have betrayed my people,’ he said, then got to his feet. I watched him as he donned his discarded robe.
‘You betray me by saying such things,’ I said.
He glanced at me as he pulled his belt across his belly. ‘I know,’ he said. ‘This is hard for me, Darien. Please try to understand.’
‘Menefer wants you,’ I said harshly. ‘How do you feel about that?’
He looked puzzled. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Last night, he virtually demanded that Alofel deliver you into his hands. Is that what you want?’
He shook his head. ‘No, of course not. I could never give myself to him. That would be more of a betrayal to Harakhte than sleeping with you, or Alofel, for that matter.’
‘So much for your elastic feelings,’ I snapped. ‘Only a few short months ago, you were eager to bypass the stage of mourning by slipping into my bed. Now, you talk of betrayal and...’ I couldn’t help myself. ‘...utter his name while you’re making love to me. You’re not over him, Akaten! Why lie to me? You’re using me to make life easier for yourself! Why don’t you just go back to Mewt with Menefer? There is a tomb there for you to wank over! Or, perhaps in Menefer’s bed, you can pretend your beloved is still alive. They look alike, I believe.’
Akaten’s face was inscrutable. I hated myself for what I was saying, but misery and jealousy pushed aside all considerations of sense and propriety.
‘I will always love him,’ Akaten said in an even voice. ‘I thought you knew this.’ He stalked with dignity into his chambers.
I lay back on the cold tiles and cursed myself. What was I doing? In my stupidity, I had revealed that Akaten had a means to return to his country. What I had not revealed was that Alofel would never allow it to happen.
Presently, I collected myself enough to dress and follow Akaten into the palace. I found him in his dining room, seated on the floor by a low table, his attendants arranging dishes of food before him. Tears ran uncontrollably down his face, which his staff studiously ignored. I ordered the servants out, and sat down beside him.
‘I’m sorry.’
He shook his head. ‘There is no need. You’re probably right.’
That was not what I wanted to hear. I took his hands in my own. ‘Akaten, don’t say that. We’ve had a delirious summer together. I know you’ve been happy.’
He tore his hands from my grip. ‘No! I’ve been a shallow, selfish fool! Darien, I know you care very deeply for me, and I’ve enjoyed basking in that, but part of me is still on that battlefield, senseless with grief and wandering blindly like a ghost. I dream of him! I see his face among the crowds at court. At night, his voice speaks to me sadly from the shadows while you sleep! You have been my solace, my exorcism, but perhaps my place is beside his tomb, celibate and faithful. I must speak to Alofel.’ He shook his head in confusion. ‘I must go home.’
‘No!’ I leapt to my feet. ‘You’re talking nonsense! Emotional rubbish! I won’t let you do it!’
‘Why?’ He looked up at me with anguished eyes. ‘Do you really want me, Darien? I can never give you what you want. I’m only here because Alofel thinks that, one day, I shall give myself to him. It won’t happen! If Menefer wants me, and is persistent, eventually Alofel will tire of his useless wooing and cast me aside. Neither you or I will have any say in that.’
My heart was beating so fast I could barely think. Its thunder deadened my thoughts. ‘Akaten, you have a life. Live it. Returning to Mewt is a ridiculous thing to do. You’ll hate yourself for it eventually. I can heal you, but Menefer will only open your wounds - for ever. Will he respect your wishes to be celibate? I think not. Each time he takes you to his bed, you’ll think of Harakhte, and while fantasy might soothe you for a while, each morning will bring guilt. One stage of your life, though sweet, is over. You’ve been given another chance. Don’t be a fool. Take it!’
Akaten put his hands over his face and bowed his head. I heard him murmur, ‘Help me, Darien.’
I put my arms around him, kissed his hair. ‘My love, I am here for you. Always. Yes, I am jealous of Harakhte, and always will be, but content with whatever you can give me. I could not live without you now.’
‘I’m not worth this!’ he said, but relaxed against me.
‘Oh, you are!’ I told him hotly. ‘In the temple of Challis Hespereth, you came to me, whether in body or spirit. You called to me, and I answered.’
He looked at me. ‘I don’t understand... Tell me.’
At last, I told him everything.
He listened, wide-eyed, and when I had finished speaking, shook his head. ‘That could not have been me,’ but his expression was furtive.
‘It was!’ I insisted.
He took my face in his hands. ‘I know how much you want to believe that, Darien, but it would be unfair of me to say that I was that person in the shrine.’
‘But you said yourself you can’t remember what happened in Phasmagore.’
‘I’d remember that!’ he said. ‘No, we must be realistic. Our relationship is based on earthly things, but even so it is precious to me. This summer, you have saved my sanity a hundred times.’ He leaned forward and kissed me.
‘I love you,’ I told him, the first time I had ever uttered those words to anyone. ‘But so does Alofel. We must be careful and use his feelings to protect you from Menefer.’
‘Are you suggesting I give in to Alofel’s need?’
I shook my head with passion. ‘No! He would monopolise you, and then I’d have nothing. All I meant was that it must be made clear to him you don’t want to leave here.’
Akaten looked troubled. ‘I will do as you think best,’ he said, although I could tell part of him still wondered whether he should return to Mewt and live a life of isolated grief.
The next day, I reported to Alofel that Akaten had no desire to return home, hardening my heart to the joy this news brought to his face.
‘It may be,’ I said coolly, ‘that Menefer will have to hear this from Akaten himself before he believes it.’ Part of me was still bruised from hearing the Khan’s name on Akaten’s lips in the heat of passion, and I felt he deserved at least a little discomfort.
Alofel nodded. ‘This is true. How does Akaten feel about facing Harakhte’s brother?’
I shrugged. ‘I’m sure he can be persuaded.’
‘Then make sure he is.’
Akaten was, as I’d anticipated, far from overjoyed by this development. When I went to him, later that morning, and informed him what he must do, he flung himself around the room in a panic. ‘I cannot! No! It must not be!’
Sprawled in a chair, I watched his confusion. ‘Alofel wants this proof from you and so do I.’
He paused in his wild pacing and stared at me with round eyes. ‘You profess to love me, yet you’d force me to endure this?’
‘See reason,’ I said casually. ‘It is all a game, and this is merely another move. Think of your own survival. Alofel has granted you his protection. There is nothing to fear.’
Akaten shook his head. I knew what he feared most: the diluted image of Harakhte’s face before him, etched onto the younger brother’s features. He dreaded
a resurgence of grief and shame and anguish. I was unsure why I wanted him to go through it, but I did.
‘There is nothing left for you in Mewt,’ I said. ‘Your life is here now, a fresh, new start. You fear Alofel casting you aside? He won’t. Eventually, he will grant you status, and perhaps a house of your own. He will give you anything you ask for.’
‘And will you share this house with me?’ He sneered. ‘I am not a fool, Darien. We both know our place. My future here is precarious, unless I give myself to your king. We are owned creatures, without free will. Our affair is as ephemeral as this summer. How can it last? And when it is ended for us, what will become of me then?’
I was silent for a moment. ‘You under-estimate your influence with the king.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘If I speak to Menefer as you desire, then I’ll be at Alofel’s mercy.’
‘You believed yourself to be so before Menefer arrived, so what difference will that make?’
Akaten shook his head. ‘Darien, I think you have a cruel streak within you.’
‘It is the streak which ensures survival. Learn its colour.’
His eyes hardened. ‘Very well. But remember you instructed me.’
Akaten was presented to Menefer in the Council Chamber. Golden morning sunlight streamed in through the high windows, dust caught like the ghosts of thoughts in its rays. Prudently, Alofel was not present, but three members of the Council and myself were in attendance.
Menefer was seated among his entourage, but stood up when Akaten came into the room. His face - I could hardly bear to look at it. Admiration, relief, joy.
‘You are safe,’ Menefer said, as if until that moment, he had believed Akaten had been killed or else incarcerated in some dungeon pit.
Akaten’s face was pinched, although his frown could not eclipse his natural beauty. He nodded. ‘Yes.’