Page 9 of Rebellious Desire


  Her short bluster of confidence evapaorated when she realized that she couldn’t even get her hand away from him. Had she left her confidence in Boston? she wondered as she followed meekly along.

  The balcony circled three sides of the house, and Bradford continued until they were truly alone at the isolated end of the railing.

  There were several candles along the railing’s ledge, placed in tall glasses so that the wind wouldn’t blow out their light, giving the balmy night a romantic blush. Bradford stopped when the balcony ended, and turned to face Caroline. The candle nearest them cast a warm glow to his complexion, softening the hard ridges.

  “Now I believe I will have your undivided attention,” Bradford began without preamble. “I’m in no mood to share you with half of London.”

  “Well, now that you have my attention, what will you do with me?”

  Bradford smiled at the challenge in her voice. He read fear and confusion in her eyes but her soft voice denied it was true. Her false bravery pleased him. She wasn’t the type to cower or swoon. She was, he decided, a worthy opponent.

  He almost answered that he would have her, for as long as he wished to keep her, no matter what obstacles she placed in his way. Caroline must have read the intent in his gaze because she began to back away, ever so slowly.

  Bradford was swift to end her retreat. He took hold of her shoulders, felt the silken softness beneath his fingertips, and almost forgot what he was about, until she tried to jerk away. “Oh, no you don’t,” he whispered. He pulled her toward him and turned her, and she felt like a puppet and he the manipulator, as she was locked between the wall and the railing. She was good and trapped and Bradford smiled over it.

  “Will you please let me pass?” Caroline asked.

  “Not until we’ve had a little talk,” Bradford replied.

  He acted as if he had all the time in the world. Caroline let her exasperation show. “You’re a stubborn man! You completely ignore the fact that I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “Yes, you do,” Bradford informed her. “There is something going on between us. I feel it and I know you do too. I believe that we should acknowledge it, and the sooner the better. I’ve no time for games of courting, Caroline. When I want something, I take it.”

  Caroline hadn’t lied. She really didn’t want to be alone with him. Bradford made her nervous. She didn’t feel in control when she was with him. She had just been very blunt with him, but was appalled when he returned with the same bluntness.

  “And you have decided that you want me?” Caroline’s voice deserted her, and Bradford had to lean down to hear her question. He didn’t answer, but continued to look at her, his gaze telling her all she needed to know.

  She had thought that she would brazen it out, put him in his place with a severe setdown, but suddenly found herself quite speechless.

  “Does my honesty frighten you?” Bradford finally broke the silence and his voice was filled with tenderness. “It bothers me,” he admitted with a wry grin, “and that isn’t something easy to acknowledge.”

  His stare was hot enough to turn water into steam. It certainly warmed her, and she found that she didn’t know how to react. “You make me nervous when you look at me like that,” Caroline admitted. She sighed and shook her head. “I might as well warn you. If I get nervous enough, I’m going to start laughing and then you’ll be insulted.”

  “Caroline,” Bradford interjected, “just admit that there is something between us.”

  “We don’t know each other,” Caroline protested.

  “I know you better than you think,” Bradford replied. Caroline’s eyes showed her disbelief and he confirmed his statement with a nod. “You are loyal, trustworthy, and filled with an abundance of love for the people you care about.” He knew by the way she blushed that he was embarrassing her but didn’t care in the least. He was intent on making her admit her feelings. Nothing else seemed to matter.

  “How can you know these things?” Caroline asked.

  “The day I first met you. You were frightened then, but you stood up to me. Your only concern was to protect a virtual stranger from further harm. Bravery is a trait I admire,” he added. He wasn’t smiling anymore as he continued in a serious tone. “When we talked, you told of your worry that you might disgrace your relatives by doing something awkward. You also spoke of your family in the Colonies, and your loyalty to them was very obvious. Lastly,” Bradford concluded, “you called your aunt Mama, and your eyes showed the deep affection you felt for her.”

  “A dog is loyal and trustworthy and affectionate.”

  Caroline’s jest forced a reluctant grin from the man looming above her. “Tonight you trembled in my arms when we danced. Are you going to tell me that you were cold?” He was teasing her now, and Caroline responded with a smile of her own. “Can you be honest with me?”

  “Honesty is a trait I most admire in others,” Caroline returned, “because it is completely lacking in my own character.” She sighed with exasperation and then continued, “I am a thief with words and promises, and can’t help myself. Therefore,” she added, “if I agree that there is a special feeling between us, then you will have no way of knowing if I am telling the truth or not, will you?”

  Bradford grinned and shook his head. “Then we shall have to do something to give us proof,” he suggested. Amusement lingered in his eyes, and Caroline knew he hadn’t believed a word she had said. She was lying and he knew it.

  “And just how do I prove that I do or don’t feel anything for you?” Caroline asked. She was frowning with concentration, but a sudden sparkle appeared in her eyes and Bradford immediately knew she was up to something. It was the identical look he had noticed right before she had led Brummell into her trap. He found himself anticipating her next move. “Perhaps there is a way after all! Why don’t you jump off the balcony? If I don’t scream out to stop you, then you will know that I don’t care.”

  “And if you do issue a warning?” Bradford asked with a rich chuckle.

  “Well, then you will know that I did in fact feel something for you. Of course, you will have broken every bone in your body, but we will have our answer, won’t we?”

  She smiled prettily, and Bradford considered that she might be finding pleasure in the picture she had just painted.

  “There is an alternative,” Bradford suggested. “And one that wouldn’t destroy my body, since that is a real concern to you.”

  “I am not concerned about your body,” Caroline rushed out. “And this conversation is becoming quite improper. What if someone should hear us?”

  “Are you always so concerned about what other people think?”

  “I never gave it a thought until I arrived in England,” Caroline admitted. “And it is a strain. Being correct can be exhausting.”

  Bradford smiled over her honesty. “Caroline, I would like to kiss you and be done with it.”

  She didn’t move. She felt as mesmerized as a small animal about to be caught in a very large net. Bradford placed both palms on the wall behind her and slowly leaned forward. “You are so romantic,” Caroline whispered. “Be done with it? Is it such a chore then?”

  Why did she continue to bait him? she asked herself a little frantically. It could only make things worse than they already were.

  “You insist that there is nothing happening between us, avoid looking into my eyes whenever possible, and yet tremble in my arms. Your body contradicts your words of protest.”

  Caroline surprised Bradford by nodding. “I know it,” she whispered.

  Her admission pleased him, almost as much as her rosy lips beckoned him. He couldn’t wait any longer but vowed to go slowly. His mouth gently brushed hers. Caroline tried to turn her head but Bradford caught her lower lip and held her captive. He kissed her again, applying more pressure, and although he had planned only to give her one chaste kiss, he found that he wanted more from her. His mouth opened over hers, and when she tried to resist the invasi
on of his tongue into the sweet warmth inside, Bradford used one hand to force her chin down. His tongue took what his body craved, stroking and exploring and penetrating the sweetness she offered.

  Caroline was shocked by the initial touch of his tongue. She didn’t know that men kissed women in such a way! She recoiled in embarrassment, yet heard herself gasp with pure pleasure. She couldn’t stop the kiss or her tongue, when it touched his, timidly at first, and then with increasing ardor. She heard his deep growl of encouragement and put her arms around his neck to bring him closer.

  She didn’t know it was possible, but the kiss deepened, became hotter. She clung to Bradford’s massive shoulders and drank her fill, giving and taking the pleasure that flowed like sweet wine between them.

  The longer they kissed, the more Bradford demanded. He was rough in his passion, holding her face to gain deeper advantage. Never had a single kiss so affected him, so aroused him. He wanted her with a burning need that no other woman could satisfy. The more he drank, the more he wanted.

  His tongue penetrated, receded, and then plunged in again and again. Caroline, lost in an ocean of sensation, began to tremble and felt liquid heat flow through her body. The intensity of what was happening between them frightened her. She finally pulled away and had to use the wall for support. Her breathing was as ragged as her thoughts.

  It took a full minute for Bradford to gain control of himself.

  Caroline kept her gaze downcast, lest he read the embarrassment in her eyes. She had behaved wantonly and thought that he must think she was a loose woman without morals.

  “Now tell me there isn’t anything between us,” Bradford demanded. His voice sounded gruff and, she noticed with irritation, terribly victorious.

  “I won’t deny that your kiss was pleasant,” Caroline said. She looked up at him, and Bradford was again spellbound by her eyes.

  “I want you, Caroline.” So much for honeyed words, Bradford thought with an inward grimace. He began cursing himself for his rashness when he noticed the change in her expression.

  Silence descended while Caroline considered how to answer. She was angry but had only herself to blame. She had responded to his kiss like a common woman of the streets, hadn’t she? “You want me?” she asked in a shocked voice. “How dare you say such a thing to me. Is it because I returned your kiss?” Tears gathered in her eyes but she was too upset to control them. “I don’t care that you want me.”

  She didn’t give Bradford time to answer. “Do you think, because of your title and position, that you can have all that you want? Well, you’re mistaken if you think you can have me, my lord. I’m not a member of the ton and I’m not impressed by material offerings.”

  “Every woman is impressed with material offerings,” Bradford muttered, using her own expression for wealth and power.

  “Are you suggesting that if the price is right, you can have any woman you want?” Caroline drew herself up to her full height when Bradford shrugged his reply. She matched him glare for glare. “You insult me.”

  “Because I’m being honest with you?”

  “No! Because you actually believe what you’re saying,” Caroline returned. “I would no more give myself to you than I would give myself to your King George,” she added.

  “Because I’ve stated that I want you, you jump to the conclusion that I mean as my mistress. You are insulted when I believe you should be flattered,” he argued. He was furious and let her feel the full wrath of his anger. “But if I court you and then ask for your hand in marriage, what then?” His hands were braced on either side of Caroline’s head, his face just inches from hers. Oh, he knew what she was after, and as much as it infuriated him to admit it, he wanted her almost enough to give it to her. “You’d change your tune then, wouldn’t you?”

  Caroline concentrated on his earlier remark. She couldn’t believe his audacity. “A compliment? Ha! You tell me there’s something between us,” she returned, “but it is only a physical attraction, nothing more. Do you actually believe I would give myself to you because of such a paltry reason? I would not marry you,” Caroline stated emphatically. “You tell me that you want a loyal, trustworthy, loving woman,” she rushed on, “but you don’t display any of those qualities.”

  “And how would you know that?” Bradford demanded.

  Caroline was too upset to be intimidated by his stare. “First, you suggest that I become your mistress. And all because we are attracted to each other.”

  “Why else would I want you for my mistress?” Bradford asked, trying to make sense of her logic. “And I did not ask you to become my mistress.” He was yelling now and didn’t care who heard him.

  “Oh, but you would have. Second, you are too egotistical for my liking. I look beyond appearances, my lord. I will marry someone who is considerate. And he won’t be an Englishman.”

  “What the hell’s wrong with being English?” Bradford bellowed. His anger suddenly, magically vanished and he found himself laughing. She had the disdain reversed, for God’s sake. It was the English who detested the colonists and not the other way around. “Have you forgotten that you just happen to be English too?”

  Caroline chose to ignore his question. “Most of the English uppercrust are disloyal,” Caroline answered. She was trying to infuriate him and knew that she was failing miserably. His laughter bothered her and she had trouble continuing. The anger he had earlier displayed was far more welcome, and the sudden shift didn’t make sense. Caroline felt off balance again. “Most have turned against their own king in his time of need. His own son tried to betray him once and will, no doubt, try again. Why are you laughing? Don’t you know when you are being insulted?” Caroline ended her tirade, feeling as wilted as a freshly cut flower left out in the sun too long.

  “Now I believe that it is my turn to speak,” Bradford stated with firmness. “First, I will tell you why I want you.”

  “I don’t care why you want me,” Caroline objected. She glanced over his shoulder to see if anyone was listening to their conversation and then looked back at her adversary. “I imagine,” she whispered, “from the way that you kissed me, that you lust for … that you want my body.” She blushed but couldn’t help herself.

  “I admit that I do want you in my bed. You’re a very beautiful woman.”

  “That is not significant,” Caroline snapped out. Bradford realized, from the way she stated it, that she really didn’t know how lovely she was. It was a refreshing observation. Most women used their looks as weapons to obtain whatever they wanted.

  “Do you know that you make me laugh?” he asked.

  Caroline waited for him to go on but when he didn’t, she let her frustration show. “Of course I know that I make you laugh,” she said with exasperation in her voice. “You have just finished laughing at me. I’m not deaf. And I imagine that most of the people inside heard you laughing too,” she added with a scowl.

  “I wasn’t laughing at you,” Bradford insisted. He tried for a serious expression and failed miserably. “But with you.”

  “Then why wasn’t I laughing?” Caroline challenged. “Don’t be diplomatic with me. It’s wasted effort. Since you insist on honesty, then I will give you a full portion. I don’t want to be attracted to you. I am a person who likes to be in control and I won’t stand for being overpowered or frightened by anyone. Therefore, since you are overbearing and quite arrogant, intimidating and overpowering, we would not get on well at all. I am afraid you will just have to want someone else. Someone meek, I think, who wouldn’t mind being run over all the time. Would you like me to help you find someone suitable? You have given me some of your requirements.” Her eyes got that peculiar look again and Bradford found himself eager to hear her next remark. “You want someone loyal, trustworthy, loving, and—oh, yes! I almost forgot. Someone you can laugh at.”

  “You forget honesty,” Bradford interjected with a grin. He was smiling inside, too, for Caroline, aware of it or not, had given him hope. She had
acknowledged that she was afraid of him. Bradford interpreted that to mean that she was afraid of her reaction to him. He felt new confidence over that information.

  “Of course, she must be honest,” Caroline agreed with a nod. “Now then, for your perfect woman do you prefer a lady with blonde hair or brown? Blue eyes or hazel? Short of stature or tall? Only tell me and I will go inside and have a look around.”

  “Black hair, with angry violet eyes,” Bradford stated. “And her height should be somewhere between short and tall.”

  “You have described me,” Caroline answered. “I’m not perfect, milord. I do have faults.”

  “I am aware of several,” Bradford told her. He couldn’t resist her a second longer and quickly leaned down to kiss her.

  Caroline didn’t have time to resist, as the kiss was over before she could do more than blink. She pushed him away. “You are aware of my faults?” she asked, pretending that the kiss had not happened.

  “You dislike the Irish and the English, laugh at inopportune times, have quite a temper, and jump to conclusions that aren’t always correct,” Bradford answered. “Should I continue?”

  “No, you should not,” Caroline returned. “But you are incorrect in your list. I don’t dislike all the Irish or all the English, only the rude ones. I do have a temper and I do laugh at inopportune times, but I am working on both these flaws. I rarely jump to conclusions that are not accurate. But you appear to be too arrogant to admit to any faults and are therefore in much sorrier shape.”

  “Your honesty overwhelms me,” Bradford returned with a grin. “And your humility almost brings me to my knees.” His chuckle was rich and totally unappreciated by his adversary. Bradford realized that if he continued to bait her he certainly wouldn’t further his cause, yet he couldn’t seem to help himself. He hadn’t had this much fun in years.

  “I don’t believe anyone could bring you to your knees,” Caroline remarked. She smiled then and Bradford shook his head.