The dancers scurried away, whispering with nerves and excitement about being in throne-like chairs carried by other dancers.
“Try not to fall out of those chairs,” Ellie yelled after them. “I’m too pregnant to catch you.” They laughed and disappeared.
Kat and Ellie stepped closer to one another. “You’re taking a risk with Marissa.” Ellie sounded concerned. “All eyes will be on Marcus’s performance. Are you sure she’s ready for this?”
“All eyes will be on Marcus,” Kat repeated, “not Marissa. And Marcus won’t let her look bad. He’s a nice guy. He’ll take care of her.”
“A nice guy, but not the right guy,” Ellie said, reading between the lines.
“Exactly,” Kat agreed, and in a rare moment of spilling her personal baggage, she added, “It’s killing me that Jason thinks there’s something going on with me and Marcus.”
“It sure seemed that way,” she pointed out grimly. “Marcus greeted you like his girlfriend. And let’s face it, Marcus is one of the few men that could make someone as confident and sexy as Jason feel insecure. It’s not a good combination.”
“Thank you for the words of encouragement,” Kat said, feeling as if a knife had just torn through her chest. Jason was confident, and jealousy had never been a problem for them, but this wasn’t exactly a normal situation.
Ellie squeezed Kat’s arm. “I’m just being honest. But honey, dancing with Marcus would have been the kiss of death with Jason if I’m reading him right. You’re doing what you have to and not only does it show you love him, you sure as heck have my respect for this. Not many people would pass up the spotlight for a relationship.”
She didn’t want the spotlight. She never had. She wanted Jason. “I just hope it matters to Jason.”
“It will,” Ellie said with a firm nod. “I’m sure it will. How can it not?” The door to the stage burst open and dancers filed in. A rush of activity took over the room. Ellie’s eyes lit up. “Here we go. The beginning of something grand, I hope.”
Fifteen minutes later, the dancers were gone, and only Kat, Marcus and Marissa were left on the stage. Forty-five minutes after that, Kat was feeling pretty darn good about Marissa’s performance and she knew Marcus well enough to know he approved as well.
“You learn fast,” Marcus complimented Marissa. “Consider yourself invited to join my next tour.” Marcus winked at Kat. “That is, if I can steal you away from your boss here.”
Marissa didn’t jump up and down, and didn’t scream with the excitement others would have. She paled instantly, as if she had just received bad news. “I hope you still feel that way after the show.”
Marcus arched a brow in Kat’s direction, seemingly surprised at the nervous gulp. She gave him a quick nod, her look meant to tell him that she thought a lot of Marissa. He returned the nod, and his gaze settled back on Marissa, his expression softening. Kat knew how Marcus struggled with the insincerity of the people around him, and how everyone wanted a piece of him. And she knew right then that he saw what she did in Marissa.
“I need to check on the rest of show,” Kat said, wondering if Marissa might be just the woman Marcus needed. “You two keep working.”
Kat exited the stage area and smiled at the romantic door she’d just opened, if not for the door Jason had shut on her tonight. She regretted not telling him about Marcus, but the truth was that it hadn’t seemed important. Marcus had been more a friend than a lover. They’d both been riding the bumpy path of heartache, trying to fill a hole in their lives. She’d simply been a little more ready to admit it than he had been that their relationship hadn’t filled the hole.
Jason’s words replayed in her mind. Not enough, he’d said about her loving him. She’d said those exact words to herself about him before she’d left Denver for Marcus’s tour. She knew what they meant, and she knew they came with great pain. Her stomach knotted with fear that he might have sealed the door shut forever.
Kat had just reached the cluster of empty dressing rooms when the door from the main hotel was shoved open. Tabitha hobbled inside with Joe, one of the production assistants, holding her up, one knee bent to keep her foot off the ground.
“What happened?” Kat asked, rushing toward them.
Tabitha sobbed, but there were no tears, which struck Kat as odd. “I fell off the podium.”
“There’s a doctor on the way,” Joe said as the three of them made their way into the closest dressing room.
Tabitha sat down in a chair and buried her face in her hands. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Ellie said she has to have her replaced and quickly,” Joe said. “The empty podium is obvious to the cameras.”
Right, of course it was, and when Marcus performed, the four dancers would do a lead-in routine and then freeze frame, like mannequins. That would leave the podium obviously open if Marissa tried to do both dances.
Kat studied Tabitha, pretty darn certain that Tabitha was up to no good. “You’re sure your ankle is too bad to dance on?”
Tabitha let her hands drop to her lap for a moment and her eyes met Kat’s. “Positive.” Kat saw an instant of hatred in the other woman’s expression that was quickly replaced by a sob and crinkled-up expression.
“Yessssss.” A whimper followed and she buried her face in her hands again.
Kat ground her teeth and stood up. She had no doubt Tabitha intended for Marissa to miss her moment in the spotlight with Marcus, and she was done trying. She’d have to proceed cautiously so Tabitha couldn’t say she was being fired for getting hurt on the job, but nevertheless, Tabitha had just sealed her exit from the show. No one here had time for these kinds of manipulative games. Kat pushed to her feet, her mind racing with options, searching for an answer that didn’t leave her dancing with Marcus again.
* * *
“HI, BOSS.”
Jason heard Kat’s voice in his earpiece through the mic system he used with his crew. Nearby, music blasted through the speakers as a pop singer named Stacey P performed. He stood by the stage, and despite the rowdy crowd that was more sardines in a can than an audience, he knew without looking the instant she was beside him. He could feel her there, as he always could feel her.
He cut her a sideways look, taking in the skimpy outfit she wore that matched that of the other three featured dancers, cursing the tightening of his body at the sight. He wasn’t surprised at how hot she looked, but he was surprised she’d chosen an outfit to match the other dancers, rather than something special for Marcus’s performance.
That thought had him grinding his teeth, and about breaking his jaw from the force. It was eating him alive to think about Kat rehearsing with Marcus, about her performing with Marcus, about her kissing him.
“I need Tabitha or Marissa on that podium at commercial,” he said into his mic.
“You got me instead,” she said, “and I’m on my way. I’ll be where you need me to be.”
“How are you going to cover your spot on the podium and be where Marcus needs you?”
“Marissa is dancing with Marcus,” she said. “Not me, Jason.” She cut around him, her hand discreetly brushing his back, until she was on the opposite side of him, and staring up at him to repeat. “Not me.” Their eyes held a moment, and more than music thrummed through his body. Every emotion he’d ever felt for Kat was there, too, twisting him into knots.
“Thirty seconds to commercial,” one of his people said into their ears.
Kat turned away immediately, darting through the crowd, and when the song ended, he wasn’t watching the famous singer on stage. He was watching Kat, who had taken the podium in a skimpy outfit that was getting plenty of male attention. But not Marcus’s.
She wasn’t dancing with him now. It should have made Jason feel better. So why did he still feel as if he’d lost something valuable?
Jason didn’t have time to analyze it. He had to be on stage himself, acting as if nothing bothered him. He didn’t like the on-camera work
, and he wasn’t a host. This judging stuff had spun out of control, as had this night. But he’d agreed to all of this for a reason. To make this show work, and to create an opportunity where he and Kat could stay in one place together.
Jason headed to the stage, greeting the singer, and exchanging some banter with her for the audience and the cameras. And when he and Stacey P, a pretty blond singer most men would kill to be with, stepped off the stage to allow Marcus to claim it, she stayed by his side.
“So, Jason,” she said, leaning in close, her hand settling on his arm. “I’m in town through tomorrow if you want to get together later tonight.”
Jason knew just about every man watching this show would say yes to the offer, but he’d been there, done that, and didn’t give a damn about the shirt. Nothing, and no one, replaced Kat. Jason politely declined and fortunately had directorial duties to attend that made escape easy. From Stacey that was. There was no escaping Kat, and after what he’d learned tonight, that was about as hard to swallow as it got. One way or the other, tonight, this was it for his relationship with Kat. He was in or he was out for good.
* * *
KAT HAD STOOD on the podium, after striking her mannequin-like pose, while Marcus and Marissa performed brilliantly. She felt like a proud mama watching Marissa coming out of her shell, showing her talent to the world.
When the number ended, Jason stepped onto the stage with Marcus and Kat felt her hopes fall and land hard. She knew how awkward this moment was for Jason, and she feared what Marcus, even with good intentions, might say.
But the moment came and went quickly. Jason said goodnight to television land and shook Marcus’s hand. The crowd shouted and chanted for Marcus to sing another song and he agreed.
“Cut,” Jason said into the microphone feed. “We are off air. Dancers, hold your positions for Marcus’s final number. Kat, Marissa is headed up there to replace you.”
It wasn’t long before Kat was giving Marissa a quick hug and stepping to the top level of the club, only to find Jason standing there waiting for her. He took her hand and pulled her down a hallway, around a corner and against a wall. His hand rested by her head.
“Do you have any idea how I’m feeling right now?”
Kat wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him how sorry she was, but she knew Jason. She knew he needed words, he needed understanding. “He is a friend.”
“Don’t patronize me, Kat. I saw how he looked at you, and more so, I saw your face when you saw him.”
“You saw dread,” she said, her heart beating so fast it was making it hard to talk. “Not happiness.”
“And why exactly would you feel dread if a friend was here to help, Kat? You went from my bed to his.”
“It wasn’t like that,” Kat said. “I told you. I barely knew Marcus before I started the tour. And yes, I dated him. I was trying to get over you, Jason.”
“I wasn’t trying to get over you, Kat,” he said. “I was trying to reach you. I was trying to get you back in my life.”
“I dated him, Jason. It meant nothing. Come on. You dated that one Hollywood actress for months and there was talk of marriage. How do you think that made me feel?”
“I never once talked marriage with her,” he said. “I never even thought about it. I didn’t marry her. I married you.”
“And I didn’t marry Marcus,” she said, knowing the statement had been a mistake before it even left her lips.
“He asked you to marry him?”
She’d never lied to Jason, never wanted to, until this moment, but she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. “I didn’t marry him, Jason. I married you.”
“Did he ask you to marry him?”
“Yes, but—”
He cursed and shoved off the wall, giving her his back.
“Jason, he wasn’t you—”
He whirled around and leaned in close again, his hand back on the wall. “Let me guess. You convinced him to keep it all about sex.”
“No—”
“We’re done, Kat. I’m done. You’ve had a decade of my life in some way, shape or form. That’s enough.”
He left her standing there, gone before she could say a word, and it was all she could do to not chase him. Making a scene wouldn’t help anything. Worse though, she didn’t think anything would help. He’d never before said he was done with her.
Truthfully, they’d never had a fight like this. A spat, a disagreement, a little thing, yes. But nothing like this and that alone said everything.
He meant what he’d said. He was done.
15
MARCUS’S NEW SONG broke through the haze of Kat’s shock and she came back to the present. Jason’s words had devastated her. How long had she been paralyzed against the wall? She didn’t know. She just knew it hurt, she hurt. Her heart raced wildly and she drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing herself to calm down.
“Pull yourself together,” she whispered. She had to be professional, and deal with the cast and crew. She was supposed to relieve Ellie fully so she could rest. Ellie, who was pushing herself too hard. Ellie. Right. She marched back into the main bar, and wove through the crowd. She focused on her purpose, on taking care of Ellie.
“Ellie,” Kat said, tapping the button that would allow the crew to hear her through the microphone. “Can you meet me in the dressing rooms?”
“On my way,” Ellie said immediately.
A few minutes later Kat and Ellie were in a private dressing room, while Kat changed back into her clothes.
Ellie rubbed her increasingly large stomach. “So how are things with you and Jason?” she asked before grimacing. “Oh, wow. Not feeling so good. I need to sit.”
Kat pulled her T-shirt over her head and grabbed a chair for Ellie. “Are you okay?”
Ellie sunk into the seat the instant it was behind her. “I’ve been feeling sick all day. I think it was the pressure of the show. Tonight’s ratings will be looked at hard by the studio, and not just as a feeler for how the stage show will be received. They’ll see tonight as a preview of interest for the third season of Stepping Up. Jason should have gotten a call about the ratings by now. I really—” She stiffened and made a funny face.
“Ellie, honey, what are you feeling? Was that pain?”
“It’s nothing,” she said dismissively. “The doctor said it’s from ligaments stretching. It’s normal.”
“All the same, let’s get you up to your room so you can lie down.”
“Really, I’m fine,” Ellie insisted. “I want to find out about tonight’s ratings before I go upstairs.”
“We’ll call Jason from your room,” Kat suggested. “Will that work?”
“You don’t need to walk with me,” Ellie said. “You stay and close things down here.”
“I’m coming with you,” Kat said, not pleased with how pale Ellie looked. She was worried. “And you don’t know me well enough yet to understand this, so let me save us both some time. I’m stubborn as a mule and proud of it. You’re going upstairs to rest.”
Ellie laughed and then grimaced again. “Maybe I do need to rest.” She stood up and swayed. Kat grabbed her arm and Ellie laughed without humor. “When was the last time I ate?”
“Too long ago if you have to ask,” Kat chided. “Room service it is.”
“Room service for sure,” Ellie agreed, as she and Kat stepped into the hallway and directly into the path of Jason, his assistant director Ronnie, and several of his crew members.
Kat’s eyes met his and awareness rushed over her, along with a huge dose of emotion. She cut her gaze away before she could see the rejection, the anger, and maybe something worse, that might be in Jason’s expression. She’d have to manage this quickly to be professional on the job, but not tonight, not when this change between them had just happened. The hurt was too raw.
“Oh, good,” Ellie said at the sight of Jason. “Talk to us, Jason. What’s the ratings news?”
“Fifteen million viewers,” he sai
d. “A couple million over expectations.”
It was an announcement Kat would normally have celebrated with Jason, but instead, she turned to Ellie. “See? Now can you rest?”
Ellie let out a breath. “Now I can rest.”
Kat flicked a fleeting look in Jason’s direction. “She’s feeling sick. I’m taking her to her room and feeding her.”
“We can finish up here,” Jason said. “Ellie, you should slow down. Consider taking off the entire weekend like I told you to.”
“I’m fine,” Ellie insisted. “I just need food and bed.”
One of the cameramen shouted Jason’s name from behind them, and Jason turned to address the man. Kat took that opportunity to hustle Ellie toward the stage. “Let’s exit through the theater to avoid running into anyone who might convince you something is going on you need to be involved with.”
She laughed. “I guess you know me pretty darn well.”
It wasn’t until they were alone in the elevator that Ellie studied Kat. “What happened?”
Kat didn’t pretend she didn’t know what she was talking about. “We fought.”
“Everyone fights, Kat.”
She shook her head. “Not us, not like this.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“I can’t,” Kat said. “Not without really losing it and I don’t cry often, but when I do, I do it right. I’ll be swollen up like a blowfish and I’ll never get out of here without everyone knowing.”
“You can stay with me tonight,” she said. “Or you can have your own room a few doors down.”
“Thank you, Ellie, but I need to be home tonight more than ever.” Home was a place she hadn’t felt she’d had in a long time, a place where she could retreat and deal with this.
The elevator dinged open. “I understand,” Ellie said.
It didn’t take long for Kat to get Ellie settled onto her bed and order room service. Ellie still felt dizzy and Kat offered the kitchen staff a big tip if they rushed the food. By the time she hung up, Ellie’s husband David called and Kat felt awkward listening to them talk.