“Marcus didn’t know who you were or he wouldn’t have come.”
He kept his back to her, his spine just a little stiffer. “So you never even told him about me either.”
“I never told him your name. Our relationship was, and is, ours alone. I simply told him I had an ex-husband I was still in love with.”
He was perfectly still, the sound of the rain pattering on the roof filling the silence, before he finally said, “Wait for me.” And then he was gone. How many times had she said those words in her head? And then he was gone.
* * *
THE EX-HUSBAND I was still in love with. Kat’s words replayed in Jason’s mind as he rode through the rain, keeping his Harley on slow and easy. There was nothing slow and easy about his thoughts, that was for sure.
He loved Kat. He wanted Kat. He needed her. But she was tearing him apart. In his heart, he yearned to believe that Marcus meant nothing, to her or about them. Leave. You’re good at it. Those had been her words, in various rephrased ways tonight. Marcus wasn’t the problem. The past was the problem.
Jason pulled to a halt behind Kat’s car when a police vehicle pulled up behind him. He headed toward the officer who was wearing a yellow rain jacket and met him halfway.
“Not a good night to be out,” the officer shouted. “Anyone hurt here?”
“We’re fine,” he said. “My wife had a blowout, and we forgot her purse inside the vehicle.” Wife. He’d said wife, just like Kat’s father had in the casino. How easily that had come out of his mouth, too.
“You call for roadside assistance, I assume?” the cop asked.
“Not yet,” he said. “The rain was pounding on us too hard. It’s a rental.”
“I’ll call for you,” the officer said. “Who’s the agency?”
Jason told him, having seen the bumper sticker on Kat’s car. “I’ll stay here and make sure you get off all right,” the officer offered.
Jason gave him a salute and took off down the muddy incline. He slid inside the vehicle, the water pouring off him.
“Glad it’s a rental and not the BMW you’ve always wanted,” he murmured. His hands tightened on the steering wheel with the thought. They were supposed to car shop tomorrow and he’d been looking forward to it. He wanted to buy that car with her, he wanted to be there for her, share her excitement at finally getting “the” car she’d always pined for.
He grabbed her purse and had a terrifying flash of the rental sliding off the road. Too easily, things could have ended up differently. She could have flipped. She could have died. He pounded the steering wheel. Life was too short for them to screw around like this, pussy-footing around issues. He could have lost her tonight forever. He grabbed her purse, shoved it under his jacket and ran up the hill. He and Kat were going to do something they should have done a long time ago. They were going to really clear the air, they were going to fight and yell, and get everything out in the open. And then, if he was lucky, they’d make love and they’d stay in love. He refused to consider any other option.
17
JASON PULLED INTO Kat’s driveway, putting the garage door opener he’d fished from Kat’s purse, along with her keys, to good use. Finally, he was out of the downpour and off his bike and he had plenty he wanted to talk to Kat about. He shrugged out of his jacket and left his bag behind, making a beeline inside the house and to the sliding glass door off the kitchen. The instant he was outside, Kat rounded the wall to face him, her hair beginning to dry and forming wispy strands around her face.
“Jason—” she started, sounding surprised.
He didn’t give her a chance to finish. He closed his arms around her and slanted his mouth over hers, the sweet taste of her like an addictive drug filling his senses. When he was certain he’d kissed her thoroughly, he said, “I love you, Kat. I want to marry you again. I want you to be my wife. Just remember that before, and when, we’re fighting.”
“I love you, too,” she said breathlessly and leaned back. “Wait. What? Fighting?”
Jason led her inside and shut the door, then put the table between them. When he was touching her, he couldn’t think. He just wanted to forget everything, to touch her and to love her.
“It’s time we have it out, Kat. We need to say everything we have ever thought and see if we can survive it.”
She sucked in a breath, and looked terrified at the idea. “I can’t,” she said, shaking her head. “If you say anything that hurts I…I can’t take anymore, Jason.”
“What hurts is goodbye, Kat,” he argued. “I took jobs because you encouraged me to take them.”
“What kind of selfish person would I have been to do anything but encourage you?”
“But yet you blame me for taking the jobs?”
“No,” she said. “I don’t blame you.”
“But?”
“No but.”
“Kat, damn it—”
“Don’t curse at me, Jason.”
“If that’s what it takes to get you to be honest with me—”
“I knew your career was the most important thing to you.”
“You were the most important thing to me.”
She made a frustrated sound and took off toward the other room. Jason caught up with her quickly. “We talked about this, Kat. Build up our careers and retire young, raise a family, travel. Whatever we wanted to do.”
“That’s what Ellie and her husband are doing,” she said. “And he’s missing her pregnancy.”
“We aren’t them, Kat.”
“No. They’re still together.”
A knot formed in his chest. “I’d turn back time if I could. I’d do it right because I clearly didn’t do it right the first time. But I will this time if you give me the chance.”
“Tonight, you said you were done with me. I let you back in and in a snap of your fingers, you broke me like a twig.”
“I found out about you and Marcus in front of a group of people who knew we were in a relationship,” he said. “Not only did it feel like a ten-ton boulder had been dropped on my chest, I had to pretend that boulder didn’t exist. For the first time in my life, Kat, I wanted to walk out of the show and just say I’m done with everything. You have no idea how hard it was for me to get on national television and act like I was okay. Because I wasn’t. I wasn’t okay.” Suddenly, he needed space. He left the kitchen, walking down a small flight of stairs that led to her living room.
“Jason,” she said, catching his arm as he reached the landing. “I’m so very sorry that happened. I’d never, ever, put you in a position like that. I’d never intentionally hurt you, either.”
“I know,” he said. “But I don’t think you know how important you are to me, or how important you always have been to me. We can’t fix this, can we, Kat?”
“Don’t say that,” she whispered. “Don’t say we can’t fix things.” She held his hands. “I want to and that’s one of the reasons you saying you were done hurt so much. I’m really trying. I really want this time to work.”
Jason picked her up and Kat laughed. “You’re always picking me up. I don’t remember you doing that in the past.”
He sat down on her couch, with her back against the arm of the sofa, and her legs draped over his.
“I just realized that I am soaking wet and now your floor and your couch are, too.”
“I don’t care,” she said. “You’re here. That’s all that matters.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, before whispering, “On second thought, I think you should take those wet clothes off.”
He cupped the back of her head and kissed her, a quick, passionate kiss. “Do you know why I keep picking you up?”
“Why?”
“Because I’m always afraid you’re going to run away again.”
She shifted, climbing on top of him, straddling him, and then pulled his wet shirt off and tossed it behind him.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
She tossed her shirt with his, but
when she tried to remove her bra, he tugged her against him.
“Don’t do that. I can’t think when you’re naked and we haven’t solved anything yet.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Jason,” she promised.
“But you think I am.”
“I don’t want to hold you back, Jason. If you feel like you can never take another job that requires you to travel, that isn’t any more healthy than me always feeling like you will. I don’t want that for you or for us.”
He let his head drop back, staring at the ceiling. He felt defeated in a battle he’d given everything he was in order to win it. She kissed his throat.
“What did I say wrong? What is wrong with me wanting the best for you?”
“I’m not taking any more jobs that require I travel unless you can go with me,” he said, bringing her back into view. “Not after I get past these auditions. If I don’t do them, I break my contract, and the studio will either kill the stage show or replace me. I did this for us.”
“I know,” she said. “I know you did and that scares me. Jason, I feel the same fear I always did. What if you get bored with the show and resent me because you’re tied to it?”
He rolled her to her back and came down on top of her. “I have traveled the world. I’ve worked with some of the biggest names in show business. I have more money than I can ever spend. And I’m not happy. You are what makes me happy. You, Kat.”
“Until you have to miss something big because of me.”
“I already missed the only thing that mattered, and that was us. I want you to believe that right here and now, but I know you won’t. I know it’s about time and actions and all I can say is, I’m up for the challenge. And by the way, about me bringing you here tonight. I already told you I was staying here. I’m not leaving unless you kick me out.” His lips quirked. “Besides, I have a personal goal of making love to you in every room and then doing it all over again.” He glanced around. “Starting with the living room.”
She slid her arms around his neck. “We do have all day tomorrow.”
“I like how you think.” He reached underneath her and unhooked her bra before tossing it away and melding her chest to his. “And I love how you feel. I love you, Kat.”
Jason took his time showing her—one lick, one kiss, one pleasurable moment after another. If he had the chance, he’d spend a lifetime showing her. But he wasn’t there yet—to the place when she’d give him a lifetime. He knew that, no matter how much she told him she was. He felt it, sensed it. He knew his KandyKat. He was going to have to do just what he’d vowed: be patient and prove to her just how well he really could love her.
* * *
IT WAS NEARLY dawn and Kat wasn’t sure how long she and Jason had been talking, but she didn’t want to stop. It felt like forever since she’d had her best friend to talk to.
“We should sleep,” Jason said, absently stroking her shoulder. “We have to go find you a car tomorrow and then Sunday we’re back in the whirlwind of preparation for next week’s opening.”
Kat propped herself up on her elbows. “You didn’t comment on how well Marissa worked with Marcus last night.”
“No, I didn’t,” he said. “That was risky, by the way.”
“I had a feeling she and Marcus would hit it off,” she replied with a smile.
He laughed. “I didn’t even notice.”
“I paired them up because I believe in Marissa,” she said. “And because I thought throwing her into the spotlight with someone I knew would keep her from stumbling, both literally and proverbially.”
“And you thought they’d make a good couple,” he said, showing just how well he knew her.
“Yeah.” She grinned. “I knew. And you should have seen how they were looking at each other.”
“I saw you with him,” he said, suddenly solemn. “He had you cornered by the door, and…”
“He was saying goodbye,” she said, climbing on top of Jason, naked and determined to get him to focus on her, not Marcus. “And Marissa was waiting on him a few feet away.” She reached behind her and stroked his cock. “I’m waiting for you, right here in bed.”
He rolled her onto her back, spread her legs and settled between them.
“Always playing director, aren’t you?” she teased.
“I’ll let you direct later,” he promised, lowering his head to kiss her.
“Oh. Wait. I forgot to tell you something I’m afraid you’ll be upset about.”
He stiffened. “What? Tell me.”
“I have to fire Tabitha. She pulled something—”
He kissed her, a deep, passionate kiss that left her breathless for more. “It does nothing for my confidence,” he half growled, “when you talk about Tabitha when I’m on top of you.”
She laughed and held on to him tightly. “Well, you are my director. If you want me to be silent I’ll be silent.”
“Unless you’re talking dirty to me, or telling me how much you love me, yes. Silence right about now would be ideal.”
He pressed inside her, filled her, and Kat moaned rather loudly. “I’m not sure I can follow that direction.”
“You never follow my direction,” he said, “but somehow you always get it right.”
“So do you—”
Jason drove slowly, deeply inside her.
She moaned again.
* * *
COME MORNING, OR rather mid-morning, Kat was in her favorite short Minnie Mouse robe, making coffee with a smile on her face. That smile grew when she heard Jason whistling his way down the stairs. It had been too long since she’d heard that whistle. He cursed as he passed the living room, and she knew why. She leaned on the counter and waited for him to enter.
Wearing nothing but a pair of blue-checkered pajama pants, he strolled into the kitchen. “Holy crap, Kat,” he said. “We need to make a little deal.”
She arched a brow. “Which would be what?”
“Don’t go into the living room until I have time to get someone to clean your carpet and your couch.” He glanced down at the muddy floor by the sliding glass door. “And to mop.”
“I already looked,” she said. “And I’m not freaked out. It’ll clean.”
“If it won’t, we’ll buy a new whatever we have to buy.”
“I really am not worried about it.” Material items weren’t her thing.
He sauntered over to her. “You aren’t. I know you aren’t. You don’t get all worked up over stuff and I’ve always loved that about you.” He stopped in front of her and eyed the counter, grabbing the whipped cream. “You still use whipped cream in your coffee.”
“Yes, I still do.”
He picked her up and set her on the counter and she laughed, knowing where this was headed. “You are not putting whipped cream on me. I just took a shower.”
“We’ll take another together.” He toyed with the can of whipped cream.
“No, Jason,” she warned. “Don’t you dare.”
He tugged at her robe. The phone on the wall rang. Kat frowned. “Only my parents have that number. That can’t be good. They’d call my cell, which is—”
“In the garage in my backpack, with mine,” Jason said. “Make sure nothing is wrong and I’ll go get them.” He set her down on the ground and she rushed to the wall by the fridge and answered.
“Hello.”
“Is everything okay?” her mother asked. “You aren’t answering and I was worried.”
“I’m fine, Mom. I had the day off and slept late. Are you fine?”
“I’m more than fine. I’m wonderful. Thailand is wonderful. We are loving life here.”
“Good,” Kat said, and nodded to Jason that everything was okay. He visibly relaxed and pointed to the garage before heading that way.
Her mother murmured something to someone else that ended with, “I’m going to ask. Just hold your horses.” She spoke into the phone again. “So, Kat honey, big plans for your day off?”
“Isn??
?t it the middle of the night there, Mom?”
“Well, yes. Yes, it is. We couldn’t reach you, so we all just stayed up chatting. So…big plans or what?” She murmured something to someone else again.
Kat frowned. “Are you talking to Dad?”
“Yes,” her mother confirmed. “And Jason’s parents.”
Jason walked back into the room and set his backpack on the table, which he unzipped.
“Is Jason there with you?” her mother asked.
“Yes,” Kat answered. “Do his parents want to talk to him?”
“He’s there,” her mother said, sounding excited. Laughter erupted before Kat heard Jason’s mother say, “I told you so.” Next, Kat specifically heard her father say “you owe me fifty bucks.”
Kat gaped. “Mother! Are they betting on whether or not Jason and I would be together?”
Jason laughed, a deep, sexy sound that always did funny, wonderful things to Kat. He joined her by the fridge and kissed her on the nose. “Let me talk to my father.”
“We bet because we all want you back together,” her mother said indignantly.
“Jason wants to talk to his father,” Kat informed her mother. She handed the receiver to Jason.
He covered the receiver with his palm. “Why shouldn’t they bet on us? I am.” He winked and kissed her. “I think our phones are beeping with messages. Can you check my voice mail and make sure there isn’t anything urgent? Thanks.”
Her gaze touched his with understanding. It was a small request but it meant a lot. He was offering her an invitation back into his life in every possible way and it was surprisingly scary. Why? Why was it scary?
“Yes,” she said. “Of course.” She tried to move away, but he caught her, a question on his too-handsome face. She loved this man. Why was she scared?
She rose onto her toes and kissed him. “Talk to my father. That’s an expensive call you’re just sitting on.”
He hesitated and let her go, but she could see and feel the reluctance in him. “What’s this about a bet,