“The sooner I finish this, the sooner I can go back to Heaven and find a way to help you.”
God, I felt so torn. I didn’t want him to hurt Natalie, even though he claimed to only want to “talk” to her. I worried what that talk would lead to if he didn’t get the answers he wanted.
I paced back and forth on the sidewalk. Not one car had driven by since we’d arrived. It just showed how deserted this part of the city was. At the moment, that was a blessing. This wasn’t an unseen alley, this was the middle of the street, and we were currently babysitting a temporarily dead angel.
Since we were stuck here waiting for him to wake up, it gave me a chance to ask all sorts of questions. Bishop had no chance to dodge them.
“If you were to stab that angel again with that dagger, it would kill him, right?”
“Yes.”
“And would the Hollow open up? Or is it just for demons and grays?”
“The Hollow takes anything supernatural that dies here in the human world—even angels. It’s something to be avoided at all costs. But it happens.”
“Wrong place, wrong time. Doesn’t seem fair.”
“Sometimes it isn’t.”
He thought the Hollow was the end. But Natalie was proof that that wasn’t true.
“You okay?” When he touched my arm his warmth sank into me. When he smiled, it made me light-headed.
I nodded. “I’ll be better when that angel stands up again.”
“He will.”
“You have faith?”
His knee-weakening smile widened. “I try to.”
The cold breeze in the air picked up and I cinched the belt on my coat tighter and shoved my hands deep into the pockets.
“I meant what I told you before,” Bishop said after a moment of silence passed between us. “When I get back to Heaven, I’ll find a way to help you.”
“And Carly, too.”
He nodded. “Carly, too.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. More time. More questions. “Why didn’t you tell me about Kraven?”
The smile was gone just like that. “Because there’s nothing to tell.”
“How long ago were you human? You—you said it was a long time ago.”
“Not long enough.” Despite his vague answers, there was no mistaking the bitter tone to his voice.
“And when you said you were one of the bad guys—”
“I shouldn’t have told you that.”
“I want to know more. I mean, you’re an angel so, um…” My mouth felt dry. “You were redeemed, or whatever, for what happened.”
His expression grew grimmer. “Sometimes I wonder.”
“Tell me more. Tell me—” I was about to say something else, ask something else, when I heard a groan. The angel had finally woken up. It was a huge relief—every minute that passed had made me wonder if he’d be the exception to the golden-dagger shield-busting rule. His eyelashes fluttered open and he slowly propped himself up on his elbows.
“I wouldn’t exactly call that a good time,” he said, “but it is entirely effective.”
Without thinking twice, or worrying that he might react the same as Roth had, I went to his side and helped him up to his feet. Call me Florence Nightingale. I checked his chest to find a tear on his shirt and blood on the fabric, but the wound had healed completely.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
“Bruised, but intact.”
Bishop moved closer to give the new angel his own inspection. “I’m Bishop.”
“Yeah, they told me all about you before I left. And what to expect from that dagger there, not that it helped, since I promptly forgot everything, including my own name.” The guy grinned and clasped Bishop’s outstretched hand. “I’m Connor.” He glanced at me. “And you are?”
“Samantha.”
Connor looked at Bishop. “You know she’s a gray, right?”
“Well aware. But she’s different from the others, so take it easy. Without her, we wouldn’t have been able to find you. She can see the searchlights. We can’t.”
“Cool.” He still looked a bit guarded now that his senses had alerted him to the fact that I was one of the monsters. “So you have superpowers, huh?”
I tried to smile at him. “I can also read your mind, if I’m so inclined. And zap you if you’re mean to me.”
Connor cocked his head to the side as he regarded me. “Huh. Sounds a bit like a nexus.”
I stopped breathing. Then I struggled to keep my expression neutral. It was a secret that I didn’t want revealed to anyone.
“Sure,” Bishop said with an amused grin. “The daughter of an angel and a demon is standing right here in front of us. I think I’d already know something like that.”
“It was just a wild guess.” Connor shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Slowly, the grin faded from Bishop’s face and a frown replaced it, as if he was giving the possibility more thought. But when Bishop spoke again, I was deeply relieved it was to Connor. “I’d heard there were to be only four of us. You’re the fifth.”
“I’m always late to the party. Sorry about that. Feel free to pay me back by stabbing me through the chest.” He rubbed the spot over his heart. “Oh, wait. You already did that.”
“How long have you been here?”
Connor scratched his head. “A couple of days. Is this a fun city to hang out in? I have been needing a vacation for a while.”
“This isn’t a vacation.”
Connor slapped him on the back. “Sarcasm, my friend. It’s my thing. Get used to it. So are you going to intro me to the others, or what?”
Bishop gave him a sidelong glance. “Oh, they’re going to love you.”
The three of us walked back to St. Andrew’s in silence, apart from a few random comments from Connor. I knew who the joker of the group was going to be, but I didn’t mind. Frankly the fact that he wasn’t a demon had already won me over.
He’d made a wild guess and nailed what I was. It had seriously freaked me out.
I felt fragile, like a piece of glass left on the edge of a tall counter, about ready to crash to the ground at any moment. My emotions were hard to control, but that was exactly what I had to keep doing. I couldn’t let myself break down now.
Seeing that gray for myself, though, the proof I’d been hoping didn’t exist…it had scared me deeply. I’d wanted to believe that all grays were like me. That they thought like me, not wanting to feed. Not wanting to hurt anyone.
But an image of Carly kissing Paul in the booth at Crave earlier haunted me. She hadn’t seemed to realize how bad it was and what it could do to her.
But she hadn’t seen what I had.
Natalie told me that losing a soul wasn’t harmful to a human, that it freed them. Had that been a lie, as well? Was anyone in this damn city telling me the truth?
The thought was like a clawed hand that took hold of my throat and kept squeezing tighter and tighter. It was best that I didn’t say anything right now. Best that I went home and thought about all of this on my own.
“I should go,” I said when we got back to the church. “I don’t want to go back in there and see Kraven and Roth again.”
Bishop turned to me. “I understand. But—wait here. I’ll take Connor inside and then walk you home.”
I crossed my arms and leaned against the brick exterior near the open door. “Okay.”
He looked surprised that I’d agreed without any argument. A smile touched his lips. “Two minutes.”
I just nodded, and he and Connor disappeared into the building.
Those two minutes felt like a long time to be left alone in the dark. And my hunger continued to rage. It had gotten worse since I’d left the nightclub, going from a dull throb to a thunderous roar. Maybe I should have had some of those half-price chicken wings while I’d had the chance.
When Bishop returned, the expression on my face must have caused him some alarm. He was at my side in an instant.
“Samantha, what’s wrong?”
And that did it. The fragile glass was knocked off the edge of the counter and crashed to the ground. I started to cry. Sob. I’d even go so far as to say I was wailing uncontrollably. It was like I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The dam had finally broken.
Bishop put his arms around me and pulled me against him. He stroked the long hair back off my face. Through my blurry vision, all I could see was him. It was all dark behind him, cold except for his touch.
“What?” he said again, almost demanding. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Everything’s wrong. I—I’m so scared.”
That only made his expression fiercer than it was to start with. “I know I’ve kept the full truth from you, I’ve scared you over and over, I’ve put you in danger so many times.” He frowned deeper. “I’m really not helping my case much with this line of reasoning, am I?”
I managed a small laugh through my tears. “Don’t become a lawyer.”
“What I’m trying to say is that, despite our shaky start, I’m here for you. I’m here for you like you’ve been here for me.”
My heart clenched at his words. “You are?”
He nodded. “You told me earlier that I had to learn to accept help from others. That’s hard for me. I’ve always done my own thing, thinking I was invulnerable. Trust me, I have a whole lot of pride for an angel. It’s one of the reasons I was first in line to volunteer for this mission without being shielded like the others. I thought I could handle it, no problem.”
“You’ve done really well,” I said.
“No, I haven’t. I’ve been a mess from day one. I was cocky to think it wouldn’t be a big deal. It is. I tried to deny it, to fight it, but I can’t. Not on my own. Not without your help. And now you need help, too.”
The whole time he made his speech, he’d been stroking the hair back off my face, his touch bringing me much needed warmth this cold night.
“I do need help,” I finally said. “And it’s not because of what happened between us. It’s…something else.”
“What is it?”
Still, I was afraid to say it out loud. I didn’t even know how to get into this and sound halfway cohesive. “What Connor said about me earlier. About me being a nexus…”
He searched my face. “It’s true, isn’t it?”
I just nodded. I half expected him to push back from me, maybe go inside and tell the others, but he stayed right where he was.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
I tried to catch my breath, but that seemed impossible right now. “I didn’t know, not until tonight.”
“How did you find out?”
I hesitated a moment before I said anything else. “I didn’t know for sure that I was adopted until earlier tonight. All my life, I had no idea…” I trailed off, looking up at him with uncertainty.
He gazed back at me with undivided attention. “Who told you about this? How did you learn the truth?”
“The Source,” I said it so softly it was no more than a whisper. “It’s my aunt. My real father’s sister—she’s a demon.”
Anyone else would have reacted with shock or, more likely, total disbelief. But not Bishop. He took it in stride.
“You’ve met her,” he said.
I nodded and it took a moment before I could continue. “Natalie’s the one you’ve been looking for. And you were right…she does go to Crave regularly. That’s where I saw her tonight—Tuesday night, too.”
“Is she the same demon as last time? The anomaly I told you about?”
I nodded, feeling ill. “She was pushed into the Hollow.”
He frowned deeply. “And she’s back? How?”
“I don’t know how, but she is. And now if she kisses someone—she can create more who have the same hungers as she does. Before, it was just her.” My brain felt like it had the consistency of mush as I tried not to make the situation even worse than it already was. “She told me my mother—an angel named Anna—was killed. And my father jumped into the Hollow after her. He must be back, too. Natalie and my father both escaped the Hollow. So it’s not what everyone thinks it is. It must mean that if they can, then there are others that aren’t killed, that were just sucked in by accident, or whatever, that can escape. It’s not one-way—or at least, it isn’t anymore.”
If my words shocked Bishop or freaked him out, he didn’t let on that they did. He braced a hand against the brick wall behind my left shoulder and studied me intently, absorbing every word I spoke. “I’m glad you told me this.”
“I was going to keep it a secret, but I couldn’t. You needed to know.”
He cast a glance back at the door to the church. “Don’t tell the others about the reason behind your abilities. I don’t want them to know. Connor was only guessing before. Like I said, it’s incredibly rare. Heaven and Hell…well, they don’t have a great appreciation for anything outside of regulations. And that’s exactly what a nexus is, especially the ones they’re not even aware exist.” His eyes met mine again. “They’d view you as something very dangerous.”
I took that in. “And how do you view me?”
“Very dangerous.” His gaze sank into me for a moment, but then his jaw tensed. “I want you to introduce me to your aunt.”
I tensed. “Bishop, I don’t know…”
“I need to understand what her plan is, what she wants. And if she can stop this before it gets any worse.”
“She told me she thinks the other grays’ hunger will fade. That my hunger will fade. Then grays won’t be a risk anymore. Is that possible?”
His brows drew together. “I don’t know. I hope so. This is why I need more information.”
My breath caught. “Roth seems to go hunting for the fun of it. Does he care which kind of gray he kills?”
“Roth’s…different. The demons view this mission as more of a scoreboard. But I’ve made him well aware of the rules. And if I can talk to Natalie, figure out some other solution, maybe this can end without anyone else getting hurt.”
“Do you think you might be able to help her?”
He nodded. “If she wants to be helped.”
“You mean it?”
“I mean it.” He stroked my hair back and pushed it behind my ears, keeping his warm hand on the side of my face. His heat sank into me. “When we first met, I thought there was something special about you.”
“And what do you think now?” The closer he got to me the more difficult it was to think normally. Or logically. He smelled so good it was all I could focus on.
He raised an eyebrow. “You really want to know?”
I nodded.
“What do I think now?” he whispered. “I think that even though you keep saving me, I’m still in danger whenever I’m close to you.”
I could barely breathe. “Danger? How?”
“Like every single time I’m close to you, I want to do this.”
When he brushed his lips against mine, I stopped thinking. My hands tangled in the soft material of his shirt, then slid up over his shoulders.
“That’s kind of a coincidence,” I whispered. “Because I feel exactly the same way.”
He kissed me again, soft at first, but it quickly grew deeper and more passionate. Until this moment, I would have had to say my kiss with Stephen had been the best I’d ever had, even though it had ended badly. But this was…way better. No wonder I’d never fallen hard for any guy at school before. I’d been waiting for Heaven to send one directly to me.
I pulled him even closer, changing our positions so he was the one against the wall. I had to stand on my tiptoes to keep kissing him, my hands now sliding up into his hair.
“You taste so good,” I murmured against his lips.
He did. He tasted good—heavenly. Delicious. My hunger rose up and spilled over and as the kiss grew and grew, my hunger finally started to fade. I’d never experienced anything so satisfying in my life, anything so good, so sweet and in
toxicating. I never wanted to stop kissing him.
There were no more worries, no more problems, only him. His kiss. I wanted it all—every delicious piece until there was nothing left…
Suddenly I felt a tight and painful grip on my arm. I released Bishop with a yelp and glared into the face of Kraven. Roth stood right next to him.
I wanted to kill them both.
“What?” I snarled.