Over yonder hill ran Maxwell and down the other side.
And here he came upon Aodhamm and Ewavett, walking hand in hand. And still with not a stitch on.
‘Ahoy, Maxwell,’ called Aodhamm.
‘Now listen,’ said Maxwell, ‘if you mean to set upon me because of what MacGuffin did to your girlfriend, forget it. I’ll fight you if I must, but I’d rather run. It’s been a trying day.’
‘He doesn’t want to fight,’ said Ewavett. ‘He just wants to say thank you. And so do I.’ Ewavett kissed Maxwell on the cheek, which made the lad go wobbly at the knees.
‘My pleasure,’ said Maxwell. ‘I’m glad I’ve made someone happy.’
‘You have,’ Aodhamm smiled. ‘But what of you now? Where are you going?’
‘I think I’ll just run on for a bit. The villagers will shortly be saddling horses, I’ve been through this before.’
‘Come with us,’ said Ewavett. ‘We travel to the world of the silver sun. That’s where MacGuffin and Count Waldeck snatched us from by magic. You’ll be made welcome there, hailed as a hero.’
‘A hero?’ said Maxwell.
‘And there are many women there who will be eager to make your acquaintance.’
‘Golden women?’ Maxwell asked. ‘As beautiful as you?’
‘Me beautiful?’ Ewavett laughed. ‘Where I come from I’m considered rather plain.’
‘So what do you say?’ asked Aodhamm. ‘Will you come with us, or what?’
Maxwell grinned and nodded. ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll,’ he said.
THE END
Also by
ROBERT RANKIN
The Antipope
The Brentford Triangle
East of Ealing
The Sprouts of Wrath
Armageddon: The Musical
They Came and Ate Us
The Suburban Book of the Dead
The Book of Ultimate Truths
Raiders of the Lost Car Park
The Greatest Show Off Earth
The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived
The Garden of Unearthly Delights
A Dog Called Demolition
Nostradamus Ate My Hamster
Sprout Mask Replica
The Brentford Chainstore Massacre
The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag
Apocalypso
Snuff Fiction
Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls
Waiting for Godalming
Web Site Story
The Fandom of the Operator
The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
The Witches of Chiswick
Knees Up Mother Earth
The Brightonomicon
The Toyminator
The Da-da-de-da-da Code
Necrophenia
Retromancer
The Japanese Devil Fish Girl and Other Unnatural Attractions
The Mechanical Messiah and Other Marvels of the Modern Age
The Educated Ape and Other Wonders of the Worlds
Illustrated works:
The Bumper Book of Ficts written by Neil Gardner
EMPIRES
E-book edition cover illustration by Robert Rankin
Additional editing and art direction, love and kindness, fish feeding, koala cuddling and cooing over kiwi birds: Rachel Hayward
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Robert Rankin, The Garden of Unearthly Delights
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