Over yonder hill ran Maxwell and down the other side.

  And here he came upon Aodhamm and Ewavett, walking hand in hand. And still with not a stitch on.

  ‘Ahoy, Maxwell,’ called Aodhamm.

  ‘Now listen,’ said Maxwell, ‘if you mean to set upon me because of what MacGuffin did to your girlfriend, forget it. I’ll fight you if I must, but I’d rather run. It’s been a trying day.’

  ‘He doesn’t want to fight,’ said Ewavett. ‘He just wants to say thank you. And so do I.’ Ewavett kissed Maxwell on the cheek, which made the lad go wobbly at the knees.

  ‘My pleasure,’ said Maxwell. ‘I’m glad I’ve made someone happy.’

  ‘You have,’ Aodhamm smiled. ‘But what of you now? Where are you going?’

  ‘I think I’ll just run on for a bit. The villagers will shortly be saddling horses, I’ve been through this before.’

  ‘Come with us,’ said Ewavett. ‘We travel to the world of the silver sun. That’s where MacGuffin and Count Waldeck snatched us from by magic. You’ll be made welcome there, hailed as a hero.’

  ‘A hero?’ said Maxwell.

  ‘And there are many women there who will be eager to make your acquaintance.’

  ‘Golden women?’ Maxwell asked. ‘As beautiful as you?’

  ‘Me beautiful?’ Ewavett laughed. ‘Where I come from I’m considered rather plain.’

  ‘So what do you say?’ asked Aodhamm. ‘Will you come with us, or what?’

  Maxwell grinned and nodded. ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll,’ he said.

  THE END

  Also by

  ROBERT RANKIN

  The Antipope

  The Brentford Triangle

  East of Ealing

  The Sprouts of Wrath

  Armageddon: The Musical

  They Came and Ate Us

  The Suburban Book of the Dead

  The Book of Ultimate Truths

  Raiders of the Lost Car Park

  The Greatest Show Off Earth

  The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived

  The Garden of Unearthly Delights

  A Dog Called Demolition

  Nostradamus Ate My Hamster

  Sprout Mask Replica

  The Brentford Chainstore Massacre

  The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag

  Apocalypso

  Snuff Fiction

  Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls

  Waiting for Godalming

  Web Site Story

  The Fandom of the Operator

  The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

  The Witches of Chiswick

  Knees Up Mother Earth

  The Brightonomicon

  The Toyminator

  The Da-da-de-da-da Code

  Necrophenia

  Retromancer

  The Japanese Devil Fish Girl and Other Unnatural Attractions

  The Mechanical Messiah and Other Marvels of the Modern Age

  The Educated Ape and Other Wonders of the Worlds

  Illustrated works:

  The Bumper Book of Ficts written by Neil Gardner

  EMPIRES

  E-book edition cover illustration by Robert Rankin

  Additional editing and art direction, love and kindness, fish feeding, koala cuddling and cooing over kiwi birds: Rachel Hayward

  Table of Contents

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  Robert Rankin, The Garden of Unearthly Delights

 


 

 
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