This time she was running from him.
And that Finn person. Though she wouldn’t get far since he was in the vehicle with her. That fact rankled far more than it should.
“I can’t believe you didn’t try to convince her to stay.” Abigail’s hazel eyes were laser beams trying to cut him in half.
He rather wished they hadn’t been here to witness the scene that had played out. “Why would I do that?”
He knew why he should have done that. He should have done that because he’d enjoyed her. He should have asked her to stay because he’d hated that moment when the light in her eyes had died. The impulse to gather her close and hold her to his heart had been almost impossible to ignore. He didn’t ask her to stay because a part of him didn’t want to ask. A big part of him wanted to force her to his side, and that meant something to him. That meant she belonged to him.
“Abby, why don’t you and Sam go get some breakfast?” Jackson asked.
Abigail sighed and then did something that completely surprised him. She walked up and put her arms around him. “It’ll be okay. I know why you did it. I just wished you hadn’t.”
Before he could figure out what to do, she stepped away. She gave him what he could only take as an encouraging smile and walked back into the main house.
Samuel was grinning, his gorgeously cut chest on full display. There was a tattoo on his right bicep, the same logo they used on their brand. “Damn, now she’s going to try her hand at matchmaking. Good luck to you, Julian.”
He felt his jaw tighten as Abigail and Samuel walked back toward the house. He kept his eyes completely off the SUV that he was sure would be making the turn to the highway soon.
It was all for the best.
He ignored the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that screamed at him to get in his fucking car and go after her. It was the same voice that had him curling around her and drifting off to sleep the night before. He’d caught himself seconds before he made the mistake. He did not sleep with his slaves. He didn’t sleep with anyone. But then Danielle wasn’t a slave. There was no contract between them and no real talk of one. He shouldn’t have had sex with her in the first place.
The night before, he’d forced himself to roll out of bed and walk away from her. He’d grabbed a pillow and blanket and slept very little. The way she felt, the moans she made, the soft submission she’d given to him completely naturally had kept him awake most of the night. She’d been perfect, and for the first time in a long time, he’d lost himself in the sex.
It wasn’t what he’d intended at all. He’d intended to warm her up and then take her to the playroom. He had planned on introducing her to the pleasures of Dominance and submission. It was supposed to be a teaching session. He was the Master, and she the slave. He was in control.
He’d meant to have sex. He’d had no plans to make love.
He didn’t lie to himself. It was a self-defeating exercise. He’d made love to Danielle. He’d taken her without a contract, without any thought put into it. He’d simply felt. He’d felt her heat and softness, her willingness to please him. She’d flowered under his dominance, and he hadn’t been able to hold himself back.
It was a relief to see her go. Danielle Bay could be very disruptive.
“I’ll handle Abby. She means well. She wants everyone to be as happy as she is.” Jackson strode to the love seat where Julian’s shirt from the previous night lay folded. He picked it up and tossed it back Julian’s way. “Come on. The livestock don’t give a damn that you have woman troubles.”
He shrugged into his shirt and slipped into his shoes, hurrying to keep up with Jack. “I do not have woman troubles.”
His woman troubles had conveniently driven off, leaving him alone, and that was how he liked it. Danielle had the good sense to know when to leave, and he’d shown remarkable restraint in allowing her to go. He buttoned his shirt as he wondered exactly where Danielle was going. Home? He was given to understand that she had already moved her things to her fiancé’s home. How would she handle getting her belongings back? He didn’t like the thought of her with nothing to her name. Would that mouthy prick who’d come for her this morning take care of her?
He had to check himself. Finn Taylor had narrowly avoided being knocked on his ass and shown his place in the world. The minute Finn had started spouting bile his way, he’d had the most ferocious urge to take the little shit by the back of his neck, shove him to the ground, and not allow him to get back up until he’d acknowledged who his Master was. Something about the younger man had brought about a ferocious sexual reaction in him. It had proven to him beyond a shadow of a doubt that Danielle wasn’t for him. He’d known the second a vision of himself between the two of them flashed across his brain that he would let Danielle go.
He really needed to take new subs. It was starting to affect him in undesirable ways.
Jackson strode across the lawn. The early morning air was warm, and the sky above was seemingly endless. Julian stopped and stared at the perfect blue sky. It was quiet and calm after this morning’s roiling emotion.
“Nice, huh?” Jackson had a tranquil expression on his face as he stood and looked up at the big sky. “You don’t get this in the city. You don’t get to feel like you’re the only person in the whole world. This is what I love. This is why I get up early, you know. I get up before Abby and Sam and the kids, and I get a whole hour when everything is quiet.” He frowned suddenly. “Which is why I nearly took that little shit’s head off this morning. He interrupted my alone time. Do you know how hard it is to get alone time with two babies in the house?”
He turned on his boot heels and made a beeline for a large structure Julian was a bit worried was an actual working barn. When the smell hit him, he was certain. Definitely a barn.
There were several stalls. Each looked to be carefully maintained and contained a prime piece of horseflesh. It was surprisingly quiet and peaceful in the barn. There was only the sound of the horses breathing and Jackson speaking soothingly. Jackson was running his hand over the muzzle of a large brown horse.
“This must be Ranger.” He’d heard all about Jackson’s favorite horse. It was a magnificent animal.
Jackson tossed him a bright orange carrot. “Make friends, Julian. Ranger here is like everyone else. He has to be courted. Offer it to him on the palm of your hand with your fingers flat or he might decide your fingers are tasty, too.”
Yes, the horse was obviously like all creatures, willing to take far more than he wanted to give. Still, if he was careful, Julian knew he could control this as he did everything in his life. He held the carrot out, and the horse nickered gratefully before biting down.
“Let’s take a ride, my friend. You’ve been on horseback before, right?”
Julian shook his head. “Despite the fact that I’m a native Texan, I’ve rarely been in the country. They don’t allow horses in my condo.”
Jackson threw back his head and laughed. He walked over to another stall and started prepping a second horse, this one black and powerful-looking. “Oh, I am going to have so much fun this week. By the end of it, Sam and I will have you riding like a pro. We’ll make a cowboy out of you, yet.”
He wasn’t sure he wanted to be a cowboy but figured he would handle it like he’d handled everything. He would figure out the tasks Jackson gave him and master them with intelligence and discipline. Discipline was the key to everything.
He hadn’t been able to properly discipline Danielle. He’d only spanked her one time, but she’d responded beautifully. The flesh of her ass had pinkened and gotten warm to the touch. Her breath had started out in gasps and fits and then become softer and more languid. Truly submissive. By the time he was done, she was relaxed and dreamy. If he’d ordered her to her knees to suck his cock, she would have done so. She wouldn’t have thought about the fact that they weren’t alone. She simply would have followed instructions because pleasing him was part of what gave her pleasure. He could hav
e molded her to be exactly the type of companion he’d always wanted.
He leaned against the stall as Ranger continued to chew. He could have molded Danielle, but why? He’d molded Sally into exactly what he wanted and kept her for years past that first contract, and still, he’d felt compelled to give her away. He’d been comfortable with Sally, but the restlessness had taken over. Maybe he did lie to himself. Maybe what he wanted and what he needed were two different things.
“See, I can hear you thinking from here.” Jackson eased a blanket over the black horse’s back.
“Well, I will try to think more quietly then.”
“Don’t. I’m deeply enjoying your confusion.”
Julian turned to face his oldest friend. He thought briefly about dismissing the subject but decided to try that friendly discussion thing Leo said he lacked. “Well, I am not. And I’m not really confused. I’m simply surprised that I allowed myself to be pulled into Danielle’s problems.”
Deep green eyes assessed him. “Oh, you’re confused. Dani knocked you flat on your ass the same way Abby knocked me on mine.”
He was not going there. “This is nothing like what happened between you and Abigail. I don’t even understand what happened between you and Abigail.”
Jackson cinched the saddle into place and moved to get Ranger ready, too. “If you don’t understand it, how can you say it’s not the same?”
“I have no intentions of marrying Danielle. I’m not serious about her.” But it had felt serious the night before. He could admit that to himself. Making love to Danielle had been like sitting in front of a warm fire on a cold night. He’d huddled too close and gotten a bit singed.
Jackson worked with skill and had the horse saddled quickly. He had his hands on the reins as he opened the stall door. “I wasn’t serious about Abby. It was a fun fling. It was never supposed to go beyond a night or two. And then one day I woke up and there was a ring on my finger, and I had to deal with it.”
He said it with a perfectly straight face. Julian had to give it to his protégé. He had learned a thing or two. “That’s complete bullshit, Jackson.”
The smile that crossed Jackson’s face was one of pure joy. “Damn straight. I knew I was going to marry that woman pretty quick. I’m smarter than you. I was just trying to put you at ease.”
Jackson handed him the reins to the black horse and showed him how to lead the animal. The big black horse was a fascinating study of power and beauty. He found himself looking forward to the morning’s lessons. It had been a long time since he’d tackled something new. Perhaps physical exercise would get his mind off Danielle.
Jackson stopped both horses outside the barn. He was very serious as he looked Julian over. “I’ve known you all of my adult life. I know there’s only five years between us, but you’ve been a father figure to me for a long time.”
“I prefer to think of myself as a slightly older brother.” Julian was warmed by Jackson’s words. He’d always thought of the younger man as his spiritual son. He’d seen something in the rough young man that called to him. Though Jackson had been broke and spent most of his childhood living off the charity of others, Julian understood him. He understood his need to be in control. He’d been the one to teach Jackson to control and refine the impulse. And Jackson had taught him that it was okay to give a damn about someone. Jackson might owe him, but Julian owed Jackson as well.
“My point is, I know you pretty damn well. I saw the way you looked at her. I haven’t seen you look at a woman like that. I’ve only seen you look like that once in the entire time I’ve known you. You were crazy about him.”
An unfamiliar sense of embarrassment flooded Julian’s system. He had been unaware that Jackson knew how he’d felt about Samuel all those years ago. It was over, of course. It had never really started. Samuel hadn’t been interested. Samuel loved Jackson and now Abby. There had been no place for him. “I wasn’t in love with him.”
“I wouldn’t blame you. He’s intensely lovable. He’s a lot like Dani. So eager to please and so sweet that the world kind of lights up when they smile. She’s a good match for you. She’ll keep you on your toes, and she won’t settle. She’ll force you to love her, really love her, if you want to keep her. Can’t you see that’s what you need?”
“It sounds perfectly atrocious, Jackson.” Julian was done. There was a reason he didn’t chat about his feelings. “I’ll leave the whole marriage and love thing in your hands. I prefer to relax. I only have a week. Are you going to teach me to ride or not?”
Jackson sighed. “I’d teach you more if you would let me, but let’s start with this.” His nose wrinkled up. “Wow. We’re going to have to get you some boots. Cow pats can be hell on dress shoes.”
Julian looked down. Sure enough, his thousand-dollar shoes were firmly planted in a cow’s refuse. He scraped his shoe against the grass and wished he’d stayed in bed.
* * * *
Dani held herself as far away as she could from Finn. She pressed up against the passenger door of the SUV. If Willow Fork had taxis, she would have called one, but the idea of standing there with everyone feeling sorry for her had made her agree to allow Finn to take her home. And she couldn’t stand another second of Julian looking anywhere but where she was.
“Are you sure you want me to take you back there?” It was the first time Finn had spoken since they’d gotten into the car.
Of course she didn’t want to go back to the dilapidated two-bedroom house she shared with her sister. Val was going to be insufferable, but she didn’t have anywhere else to go. She’d thought about a motel, but they cost money. She had two hundred dollars in her bank account. Everything else had been spent on her wreck of a wedding.
When the bills started to roll in she would be happy she’d had that two hundred bucks. She seriously doubted Jimbo’s family would come through with their half now.
Finn’s voice was ragged as he spoke. “I could take you back to my motel room, or we could drive to Dallas. My condo has two bedrooms.”
She snorted. “Yes, obviously I would need a separate bed. You wouldn’t want to sleep with me. Hell, even the guys I have sex with don’t want to sleep with me.”
She could still see the leather couch that had been more enticing to Julian than the comfy bed. At least tonight he could sleep on a mattress since she wouldn’t be there.
She watched as Finn’s hands tightened on the wheel. “I only suggested the second bedroom because you’re pissed at me right now. If you want to share a room with me, I’m ready.”
“Sure, Finn, like I’m going to believe anything you say at this point.” Bitterness welled up, threatening to choke her.
Finn turned down the road that led to her childhood home. She knew every bump and crack in this road. It was as familiar as the back of her hand, but it brought her no comfort. Going home this time felt like utter defeat.
“That’s not fair, Dani. I love you.”
It seemed cruel now for him to say those words to her. “I thought you did. We don’t lie to the people we love. I would have been hurt, but I’d have gotten over it. That’s what friends do. Friends tell each other the truth, even when it hurts. I want to know one thing. I want to know why you lied to me.”
He paused as though trying to decide how to put it. “I was scared I would lose you.”
“Bullshit. You knew how I felt about you. I told you so many times it was practically engraved on my forehead. I told you how much I loved you and that I wished you were straight. Every single time I got my heart broken, I went running to you and said the same thing. If only you weren’t gay… So you’re telling me that never once in all those times did it occur to you to say, ‘Hey, guess what, I like boobs’?”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not. It’s simple. You didn’t even have to talk. You could have reached out and grabbed one.”
“Damn it, Dani, stop. Just fucking stop. This is serious
.”
“Oh, I am serious. Don’t think I’m not. What did you expect me to do? Did you expect me to turn to you with grateful tears in my eyes and say thank you? Well, I can do that for you. Thanks. Thanks for lying to me. Thanks for making a complete fool out of me. Did you sleep with girls in high school?”
“No.” The answer came quickly, almost tripping out of his mouth. “I didn’t sleep with anyone in high school. I lost my virginity to a guy named Greg halfway through my freshman year of college. I swear I didn’t sleep with anyone in this town.”
At least she hadn’t had some bitchy girl laughing behind her back. Of course, she should have known that. If Finn had slept with someone in Willow Fork, everyone would have known it. “When was the first time you slept with a woman?”
His eyes were suddenly back on the road, his face a bright red. “About twenty minutes after I slept with Greg. His girlfriend was very open-minded.”
She huffed. Well, no wonder he had no interest in her. He was too busy having kinky sex. He probably thought she was some dried-up prude. She hadn’t felt that way last night. Something wicked picked at her, making her feel mean. “Julian’s pretty open-minded himself.”
His eyes were right back on her, burning with something righteous. “Julian’s a prick who took advantage of you.”
“At least someone did,” she grumbled.
“Do you have any idea what he’s into? You need to talk to Lucas. He knows this guy.”
“I don’t care what Lucas thinks. The only opinion that matters here is mine, and I liked him.”
He’d been difficult and remote, and when he’d made love to her, she’d felt like the only person in the whole world. He’d been just as focused on her during sex as he was distant this morning. It had been an incredible experience. Of course, Finn had probably had a lot of those. Finn had ménage sex. The thought of Finn on his knees in front of Julian made her heart flip. She would watch and get hot while Finn got Julian hard enough to fuck her.
Damn. One night with Julian Lodge and she was a lustful pervert.