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“Yes,” Jack and Deke said in unison in voices that indicated they weren’t backing down.
Kimber sighed. She hated being coddled and hidden away, but doing it kept Logan, and now Hunter, free to watch over Dad, rather than standing guard over her…just in case.
“Fine. You win. ”
After dropping another kiss on her dad’s cheek and getting a stiff half hug from Hunter, Kimber allowed Deke to escort her out the door.
On the way out, they crept through the hospital, taking a different route. It whipped them past the hotel’s gift shop, complete with current magazines and newspapers. And there on the front was a picture of her and Jesse the night he’d announced their engagement onstage in Houston. The headline screamed “Is the Wedding Off?”
Before Deke could drag her away, she slipped into the store and grabbed the magazine and started skimming. The pictures themselves showed him smiling—
almost frantically so—and denying the breakup, insisting she was “the one. ” There was a brief news item about the explosion, almost as a throwaway. The magazine was far more concerned about whether Jesse had really reined his party ways and whether his upcoming album would do poorly now that he appeared to be both taken and unstable. A picture of him scrambling across Jay Leno’s desk, looking frenetic and off-kilter, confirmed that the merry-go-round of Jesse’s behavior went on. Hell, he looked like he’d lost touch with reality.
Deke snatched the magazine out of her hand and put it back on the rack. “Don’t read that shit. You, of all people, know it’s not true. ”
“What the hell has he been doing? I called off the engagement. I copied every press organization I could think of. ”
Deke gritted his teeth as he led her out of the gift shop and toward the car. Jack flanked her, holding Morgan’s hand. “Some of the press disregarded your e-mail as a hoax. ”
“Damn it! I copied Jesse himself. I broke things off with him. He knows I sent that e-mail. ”
“Yeah. Well, he ain’t telling. ”
Kimber bit the inside of her cheek as Deke urged her into the car, his ever-observant eyes scouring every inch of the parking lot, probably seeing every ant that lived in the cracks of the concrete. Jack clapped Deke on the shoulder and took off with his beautiful wife.
What the hell was she going to do? She couldn’t do anything about Jesse’s massacre in the press… When she left the swamp, she didn’t want the vultures with cameras at her door night and day. And this couldn’t be healthy for Jesse.
“Whatever you’re thinking,” Deke warned as he sat in the driver’s seat and backed out, “the answer is no. ”
“I have to do something to stop all this. ”
“No. ”
“But—”
“No. ”
“Damn you. Why not?”
“We’ve worked long and hard to protect you. Jesse’s made his own fucking bed. I stood there and watched while you went to him. He couldn’t make it work. You’re not going to risk your life to drag his stupid ass out of this mess because he’s a head case. ”
“But—”
“You want to go back to him?”
Damn. Way to back her into a corner with just a few words.
“No. ”
Deke flashed her a look with those wild blue eyes she couldn’t quite decipher.
“You okay with me and Luc?”
“I don’t like hiding out in the middle of nowhere and having to be away from Dad. ”
“Answer the question. ”
Was big, seemingly invincible Deke asking if she was happy and wanted to stay with him and his cousin? It seemed to matter to him. She repressed a smile. The question seemed almost…sweet. It spun a sugary hope inside her.
She reached across the SUV and put a hand on his thigh. “You know I am. ” He nodded as if that ended the conversation. “Then no more about that prick.
Ever. ”
The next week passed by slowly, a mixture of euphoric highs in Deke’s and Luc’s arms and wrenching lows hearing about her father’s unchanged condition.
Hunter’s chilly disapproval blared through the phone every time she talked to him, adding to her tumult.
As if sensing her confusion and sadness this morning, Deke had awakened her with soft kisses on her neck—and demanding fingers inside her sex. Luc had added the talent of his tongue on her nipples and those clamps he was so fond of. Within minutes, they’d driven all thoughts from her head except the need for them inside her. Naturally, they’d obliged, taking her again to heights she could barely comprehend.
Now, in the early morning glow, Luc pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and rolled from the bed, toward the shower, leaving her alone with Deke. The big blond warrior held her against him, their damp skin pressing together, breathing in unison.
Kimber fought tears. She didn’t know if her father was going to make it, if her choices were going to estrange her from her oldest brother. If anything would ever come of her love for Deke. Here in the swamp, life was like a bubble. Not real. No going back or forward until something happened and they achieved some closure with her father’s health and the bomb-wielding asshole.
“Kimber?” Deke stroked a wide palm up and down her back. His way of asking if she was okay.
Do you love me? She was dying to ask. Kimber knew better. And maybe she didn’t want the answer. Deke wanted her. That would have to be enough for now. The men were always touching her, sitting her in their laps, kissing her…getting her between them two, three, four times a day. It was a miracle she wasn’t living in an orgasm-induced stupor. And she wasn’t complaining…except she had no idea how Deke felt about her. He’d never said a word, and she still knew nothing about the past that haunted him.
“I’m fine,” she lied. What else was there to say?
He shifted, rolled to his side and looked down into her face. God, the man was gorgeous. Not perfect. Not pretty. A slight bend in his nose told her it had been broken somewhere along the way. But those blue eyes of his jumped out of that golden face. Military short hair only accentuated the hard, Germanic features that all shouted male! What was she going to do if this was nothing more than a huge fuckfest to him?
“You’re too tense to be fine. ” He smoothed a hand down her belly, toward her sex.
“You need more, kitten?”
She grabbed his wrist to stop his downward progress. God knew he could sweep her away. But he wouldn’t make love to her by himself. And he wouldn’t tell her anything about his feelings. If he even had any. Luc insisted that Deke loved her, but who knew?
“No more. ” She rolled out from under him and started to rise.
Deke curled a beefy arm around her waist and brought her back down. “You need to call Logan again, hear about your dad?”
“It’s barely six in the morning. They won’t be at the hospital yet. I worry about Dad, but there’s nothing I can do at this moment. ”
“Then tell me why the hell you look like you’re about to burst into tears. ” He can tell? Kimber bucked under him, trying to break his hold. But he was like iron.
Damn, she wasn’t doing a great job of hiding her feelings. And if she didn’t get away, she was going to lose it altogether and do something stupid, like tell the man she loved him.
“Gee, I’m under a little stress, don’t you think?”
“Yeah. But something more than the usual is eating at you. What?” Desperately, she tried again to wiggle free of his hold. He had her pinned better than a WWE champion. A scream of frustration rose up inside her, and she barely clamped it down.
“What the hell do you want? You want me to bleed and pour my heart out? I don’t see you eager to do that for me. ”
“One thing at a time, kitten. Talk to me. ”
“Fine. Here it is: I have no idea if this means anything to you. ” She gestured to the bed. “Every day, I pour my heart into my body, hoping you’ll get the message. I love you!??
?
As soon as the words were out, she put her hands over her mouth, wishing she could take them back. Above her, he stiffened. His eyes narrowed. “A few weeks ago, you loved Jesse McCall. ”
“A few weeks ago, I was a girl who didn’t know the difference. But don’t worry, I know you have some big, bad past that keeps you from really giving a shit about me. You’ll protect me and—”
“I love you, too. ”
Shock pinged through her body, like pure voltage from a live wire. A thick rush of joy followed. Had she heard that right?
“What?”
He sighed, smoothed her hair from her face, then leaned in and kissed her so gently, Kimber damn near wept.
“I love you. I wish I was…better for you. My personal life and my head, they’re fucked up. Sometimes”—he paused, swallowed—“I hate sharing you. ” Wow, that was a first—and a surprising one. Kimber blinked. Then stared. He’d wished Luc was absent from their bed. Secretly, she’d had the same wish. She had a ton of affection for Luc…but it wasn’t love.
“Then don’t. I would love to be alone with you, just us. Please. ” A long sigh. Shaky. “I can’t. This is the only way I can be with you. ” But why? Kimber bit the inside of her cheek.
Maybe…maybe if she tread carefully here, he would tell her his secret. Maybe she’d finally understand what was holding him back from simply being with her. “If you could tell me why—”
“It wouldn’t matter. ”
“Maybe you’re wrong. We’re both accepting a situation we don’t really want for a reason I don’t understand. It’s possible that if we just talked—”
“It’s complicated, and you playing shrink isn’t going to change a damn thing. I’m just…wired this way now. ” He shrugged like it didn’t matter, but the anguish in his frown told her that it mattered very much. “Take it or leave it. Your choice. ” That was it. His way or the highway. He wasn’t opening up. The past would not be a topic of discussion. Deke was shutting her out.
Kimber turned her back on him, rolling to her side. She resisted the urge to curl up in a ball and cry. High highs, followed by low lows. Deke loved her, but wouldn’t confide in her. He couldn’t—or wouldn’t—stop sharing her with his cousin.
Neither moved, and she could feel him staring at her back. The moment ached.
Kimber had no idea what to say. To do. The shrill ring of the phone in the background burst into the tense air between them. Still, they didn’t move an inch.
“Someone going to get that?” Luc sounded annoyed as he padded into the kitchen with damp feet and a towel around his waist. “Hello?” He paused, listened, nodded. As Kimber watched, the wet strands of his inky hair clung to the strong width of his shoulders. Finally, Luc turned. Kimber sat up and looked right past Deke, over at Luc.
“It’s for you, sweetheart. Logan. ”
Nodding, she made a show of rising from the bed completely naked with both of them looking on. If Deke intended to continue sharing her, then she had nothing to hide from either man. They’d seen it all, touched and tasted it all. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Deke bend and retrieve her little white robe. He tossed it in her direction. With a pointed glance, she let it fall to the ground.
“Why bother?” His face tightened. Kimber didn’t feel any hollow triumph. She didn’t feel anything but despair as she grabbed the phone.
“Hi, Logan. ”
“Hi. Good news, little sister. Dad’s conscious! And he’s perfect. ” Another jolt to the system. This one the best. From low to high again.
Something must have shown on her face because Luc was right beside her, holding her hand. Deke wandered closer, hovered.
“When?” she asked.
“About twenty minutes ago. They’re going to run more tests on him today. But if all goes well, he could be out in a few days. ”
“Oh my… Oh, wow. ” She couldn’t hold the tears back.
“That’s amazing! I’m so… God, thanks for calling me. Can I talk to him?”
“They just took him away to do an MRI. He should be free in a few hours. We’ll call back then. ”
“I can’t wait. I’m so thrilled…” She sobbed into the phone.
“Wait, sis. No crying. There’s more. ”
“More?” God, could she take it? She felt splintered by the emotional divergence.
How would she hold herself together?
“We’re pretty sure we nailed the asshole with the bomb. ”
“What?! You caught him?”
“Yep. ” Logan’s cheer pepped up his voice in a way she rarely heard. “We’d seen this asshole casing the hospital a few times in the past ten days. This morning, he was sniffing around the halls. He snuck into Dad’s room dripping weapons. Hunter was in the corner and surprised him before he could empty his thirty-eight into Dad’s head. ”