Ren snorted. “Uh-huh. Let me shove my dick up your ass, fuck you just right, and see how long you last.”
Hayes’s mouth tilted into an enigmatic smirk. “You never know. Maybe one day that can be arranged.”
Ren’s eyebrows shot up. He’d never known Hayes to bottom for anyone, but the possibility made Ren’s mouth water. Ren stepped into the steamy bathroom and pulled open the shower door. “Don’t tease me, Fox. I have a long memory.”
Hayes stepped in behind him and wrapped his arm around him from behind, the hot spray of water dousing them. “And a long something else.”
They didn’t get out the shower until the water had gone cold.
—
Right before dawn they collapsed into Hayes’s bed, exhausted and spent. Hayes closed his eyes and yawned. “So we could’ve been doing this all along, huh?”
“Yep.”
“And the Complete Dumbass Award goes to . . .”
Ren pulled the blanket to his waist and tried to adjust to the unfamiliar pillows. “You’re not a dumbass. You just overthink things. Always have.”
“And you leap and hope for a net.”
“That hasn’t always been the best thing either.” Ren dropped back onto the pillow, giving up on finding the right position, and lay on his back. “I wish we could’ve figured this out a long time ago, though. Would’ve saved us a lot of grief. Plus, just think how much more fun all those threesomes would’ve been if you hadn’t been so afraid we’d bump ugly parts.”
Hayes frowned in his periphery.
Ren didn’t miss it. “What?”
“Nothing.”
Ren turned onto his side to face Hayes. “No way. That look has no place here tonight. What’s up?”
Hayes opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I just got this image of you at The Ranch having that kind of threesome with other people. It wasn’t . . . a pleasant thought.”
Ren studied Hayes’s face. Was that jealousy? He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen that on Hayes. The sight both warmed and worried him. “If it makes you feel better, I haven’t done a threesome without you.”
Hayes turned his head to look at him, surprise there. “But that was the kink you liked best.”
Ren shrugged a shoulder. “I liked it best because I got to share a woman with my best friend. It wasn’t the same without you. Since everything happened, I’ve only been with subs solo.”
Hayes considered him and Ren could almost hear the gears in his head grinding. “This complicates shit doesn’t it?”
“Meaning?”
“Your other relationships.”
Ren’s stomach dipped. He hadn’t thought that far. Always leaping. Fuck. Part of him wanted to tell Hayes he would commit one hundred percent to him if that’s what he wanted. He loved Hayes unequivocally. But another part of him knew what that would entail, sent anxiety creeping through him.
Hayes reached out and tapped Ren’s forehead where lines had apparently gathered. “Relax, Muroya. I know you’re dyed-in-the-wool poly. I’m not going to ask you to give up women. Plus, I wouldn’t ask you to sacrifice the dominant side of yourself. Believe me, I know how fucking depressing that is.”
Ren blew out a breath. “But?”
He gave him a chagrined smile. “The thought makes me jealous as hell.”
The words curled through Ren, wrapped around some part of him that he didn’t know existed. Hayes would be jealous. That felt . . . kind of nice. He’d never had a lover be jealous. Gordon had been possessive but not jealous. He’d gotten off on lending Ren out. But Hayes’s feelings did make things trickier.
Ren tried to imagine the roles reversed. What if he knew Hayes was dominating women when Ren wasn’t around?
A sharp kick of oh, hell no went through him. He frowned, the feeling foreign and altogether uncomfortable. He’d never gotten jealous before, even when he’d already accepted that he loved Hayes. Sharing women with Hayes had always been a rush. And watching Hayes fuck someone else had been Ren’s own voyeuristic fantasy come true. But thinking of Hayes doing that without him there? It didn’t sit well.
But . . .
Ren propped his head on his hand, knowing he needed to tread carefully. “There could be an easy solution to that.”
Hayes sniffed. “I’ve learned there aren’t easy solutions to much of anything, especially when it’s your solution and you have that look on your face.”
Ren gave him a sly smile. “You may not want to hear it, but there’s an obvious option. I don’t fuck someone else unless you’re there.”
Hayes’s jaw flexed. “You know I can’t—”
“You said you wouldn’t risk sleeping with a woman. You don’t have to. There’s lots you can do just being there. You could be in charge of the scene, take the lead. You know how to dominate someone without ever laying a finger on them. Plus, I know how much you like to watch. And if you need to touch or be touched, I’m there.”
Hayes’s expression was hard, tense. But he didn’t say anything.
“It could work, Fox. Think about it.” Ren’s blood was pumping despite his utter exhaustion, the idea growing into a big whirling swarm of hope inside him. The two of them together again, really together, and then bringing in a third. In Ren’s world, that’s what utopia looked like.
Hayes let out a breath and let his head sag back onto the pillow. “I don’t know. I think I’d still have a hard time trusting some stranger.”
Ren mimicked his position and stared at the turning ceiling fan. The quiet of the room crept in. Just the sound of their breathing, the hum of the air conditioning, and the tick tick tick of the clock in the hallway.
“I asked Cora out,” Ren said finally.
Hayes’s breathing stalled.
“Well, actually, it’d be more accurate to say I propositioned her. I told her I wanted her beneath me and to show her my dominant side.”
Hayes made a choking sound. “You what?”
“Yeah, in hindsight, that may have been a little forward.” Ren smiled in the darkness.
“Ren, you can’t just—”
“She said yes.”
Hayes sat up at that, shifted to face Ren again. “Hold up. She said yes?”
“Yep. Surprised me a little, too, to be honest.” Ren looked up at Hayes. “But it’s there, man. I believe her when she says she hasn’t done kink in real life. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to. She vibrates with this undercurrent of sexuality. I’d lay big money that she’s got all kinds of deliciously twisted fantasies in her head. But for whatever reason, she doesn’t think she’s worthy or capable of them.”
“Why the hell not?”
“From what I gathered, she’s been the victim of insecure assholes who don’t know how to see what’s there. Men who don’t know how to deal with her not fitting into some easily defined category. She’s a straight woman who dresses androgynously and has no desire to change that. Maybe genderqueer, though I have no idea if that’s how she thinks of herself.” He shrugged. “She’s different. You know what the world thinks of different. And beyond that, she’s crazy smart and straightforward and doesn’t play games, which can intimidate people.” He sighed. “She thought I was fucking with her when I flirted with her. Like I was going to make fun of her or something.”
Hayes made a face that said he’d like to introduce those assholes to his fist. “Idiots. All those differences are what make her so goddamned interesting. And sexy. That day I told her my story, she wasn’t afraid to take me to task or ask questions about the lifestyle stuff. When I talked about edging, she couldn’t keep her eyes off my hands. I could almost hear her thoughts and had to fight not to get hard. And every time she describes all those intricate hacking terms to me, I get this image of making her do that in a scene. Having her recite high-level computer shit while we driv
e her crazy and try to break her concentration.”
Ren lips twitched at that. “We, huh?”
“I mean—”
“You mean exactly what you said. I could talk to her, you know,” he said, keeping his tone even. “See what her thoughts are on . . . things. On you.”
Hayes grimaced. “Don’t even bother.”
“You just admitted you’re attracted to her.”
“She’s not going to want me encroaching on her thing with you. She’s new to all this stuff. You’re enough to handle.”
Ha. That wasn’t a no.
“Now you’re making assumptions about her without asking her opinion,” Ren said, pushing up on his elbows. “I have a feeling she’d be insulted. You may be surprised. She likes you, and who knows what kinky thoughts are floating around her brain? You’ve already told her we used to share. It’s not like it’d come out of left field. I was thinking of inviting her to The Ranch. You could come along, no expectations.”
Hayes’s expression turned closed, the blinds shutting. “Enough, Ren.”
Ren had opened his mouth to say more but then clamped it shut. He’d pushed enough tonight. He didn’t want to risk chasing Hayes back into a corner. Tonight had been a big step. That was enough.
So instead of playing debate, he pulled Hayes down next to him. “Enough talk. Let’s get some sleep. It’s been a long week.”
Hayes seemed relieved to let the conversation die and settled into the spot next to Ren, his heavy presence both new and familiar at the same time. They’d slept together like this countless nights. But back then they were boys who couldn’t touch. Boys who were scared. Tonight they were men who refused to be afraid.
And Ren sure as hell wasn’t going to take that miracle for granted. They’d figure out the rest later. He threw his arm over Hayes and fell fast asleep.
SIXTEEN
thursday
Cora had her earbuds tucked in her ears, music blaring, as she stared at the list of names she’d made. She was trying like hell to concentrate, but it wasn’t working. She’d promised herself that this week would be dedicated to work. She wouldn’t ruminate about what had happened with Dmitry last Friday night. She had a job to do and she had the potential date with Ren. She didn’t need to focus on a virtual breakup. But her internal lectures weren’t proving effective today. She missed Dmitry. And she was restless, trying to figure out why she was so torn up about losing him when she had a guy like Ren offering to make her fantasies come true.
But the more she’d thought about it, the mystery hadn’t been that hard to solve. With Ren, it would be a hot hookup. She was attracted to him, intrigued by him, and liked him as a person. But she wasn’t a fool. Ren wasn’t looking to date someone seriously. He was a successful CEO, a dominant, and by all appearances, a player. She didn’t mind since he was upfront about it. But he wasn’t going to fill that spot Dmitry had in her life. And Ren had proven that this week. Though he’d been playful and flirty with her since their dinner last Friday, he hadn’t set up another date. Everybody was busy. If they decided to go out again, it would happen when it happened. Their connection was the definition of casual.
Nothing had been casual about what she’d developed with Dmitry. She’d gotten attached, not just to the sex, but to the conversation, the connection they seemed to have despite the fact that they’d never met. They got each other. And now he was gone.
And she’d given him up for a hookup with Ren, something that might not even happen.
How had she ended up here again? Ugh. She barely resisted tapping her head against her keyboard. She’d thought the virtual world would insulate her from this. But no, if anything, this hurt worse than any of the others. She’d let Dmitry in. She’d let herself care for him. Maybe even loved him a little . . .
No. You couldn’t love someone you’d never met. It was infatuation with a fantasy. Plain and simple. At least that’s what she kept telling herself. And round and round her thoughts went.
Argh. She shoved her chair back and tugged her earbuds out. She needed a change of scenery. She was supposed to be meeting up with the guys in half an hour to go over what she’d worked on this week, but right now she had a tangle of information and nothing was lining up. Maybe a little caffeine would help.
She headed out of her office in search of the drink machine. They had to have one here. She’d been drinking coffee from the break room for the last two weeks, but right now she was craving something fizzy. She passed by Malik’s office and stuck her head in. “Hey, is there a Coke machine on this floor?”
Malik looked up from his screen, eyes a little dazed like she’d broken him from deep concentration. “Uh, there’s one by the men’s bathroom but it steals your money half the time. Try the one down at the end of the executive hall. It’s usually got more stock in it because it’s a longer walk.”
“Thanks.”
She backtracked and took the turn toward the hall that led to Hayes’s and Ren’s offices. That part of FoxRen was much quieter, the clicking of keyboards and ringing of phones dimming in the distance. Hayes’s door was closed tight when she passed and Collin, Ren’s assistant, looked to be out to lunch. She eyed the door at the far end of the hall that led to the stairs and heard the telltale hum of a vending machine. You have arrived at your destination. She pulled a wrinkled dollar out of her pocket and headed that way.
But right as she was passing Ren’s office, she heard a strange noise—a gasping, pained sound. She halted her step and looked at Ren’s door, wondering if she’d imagined it. But the noise came again. Almost a choking sound. What the hell? Instinct kicked in and she reached for the door, pushing it open a crack to check on him. She was about to call out and ask if everything was okay, but she froze solid when she got a view of what was inside the office.
Ren was there, but he was far from hurt. He was backed up against his desk with Hayes’s big hand wrapped around his neck. And they were . . . kissing.
And touching.
Cora couldn’t move and couldn’t look away. The two men were clinging to each other, soft groans and gripping hands. And she had no idea how to feel. The rush of warmth through her body said one thing, but her brain was screaming another. The guy who’d said he wanted her in his bed was with someone else. And by the looks of it, their relationship was far more than casual.
Ren’s hand slid between their bodies and gripped Hayes’s erection. Hayes hissed out a breath and clamped his hand over Ren’s, rubbing along with him.
It was sexy as fuck—the raw, primal need between them. Heat gathered between Cora’s thighs despite the snap of shock and jealousy. She’d never seen the stoic Hayes look quite so undone and had never seen Ren look more intense. And she absolutely should not be watching this private moment. She reached for the door handle, intending to slip out and shut it, but the movement caught Ren’s eye. His attention jerked her way and his eyes went wide. “Cora.”
“What?” Hayes’s head turned, his gaze colliding with hers. “Shit.”
“I— Sorry. I was—” She made some lame motion with her hand that was meant to be code for I was getting a drink.
Hayes took a big step backward and turned away from Cora.
“I’m going to . . . Yeah.” She moved to grab the door handle again.
Ren pushed himself off the desk, not even bothering to conceal the obvious state of his erection. “Cora, wait.”
But she was already turning and cruising back the way she came, her body tense and her thoughts too scattered to concentrate on any one. All she knew was she needed to get back to the safety of her office. Pretend this hadn’t happened.
A hand landed on her shoulder. “Hey, hold up. Please.”
She halted her step, more out of habit than anything else, but her entire body was trembling. She kept her eyes forward and fought to find her voice, her defenses. “We’ve got to stop
meeting like this.”
He sniffed and the grip on her shoulder eased. “You think?”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt. I— Just let me go back to my desk. Please.”
“Hey,” he said gently and stepped in front of her, his eyes searching hers. “Just take a breath and slow down. We should talk about this.”
Her brows shot up. “Oh, no, we shouldn’t. We should label this none of my fucking business and par for the course.”
He frowned. “Par for the course?”
She hadn’t meant to let that part slip out. “Yeah, par. Of course this happened. Of course you’ve got something that intense going with someone else.”
“It’s not—”
She put her arms out at her sides, the frustration boiling up and over. “Whatever. It’s fine. I just— Just tell me one thing, all right? Why in the hell did we have that night at the taco place? Why would you tell me all those things and make it sound like maybe we’d do that again, like maybe we’d do more than that when you already have that with someone?”
Ren’s shoulders sagged and he ran a hand through his hair. “We had that night because I like you. I still do. And that night . . . I didn’t have this. Hayes and I, it’s complicated. But I can promise you what you just saw is new. We’ve been together a long time but not in that way.”
She smirked, defensiveness rising to push past the hurt, the disappointment. She’d lost Dmitry over this guy. She’d thought . . . Well, she shouldn’t have thought. She should’ve known better. “Well, yay for you two. Nothing like a date with me to make a guy realize how much he wants someone else.”
She turned to go and he grabbed her hand. “Cora, don’t. Please.”
Her teeth clamped together. She wouldn’t cry. Wouldn’t let him see how this burned. This wasn’t about him. He didn’t owe her anything. It was just another inevitable outcome.
“I was going to talk to you about all of this. I needed time to process things. Like I said, it’s complicated.”
“Well, I saved you the trouble.”