“Life is so sad sometimes.”
   While my father
   kept reading the newspaper.
   Sometimes I brought my father's lunch
   to the comb shop
   and the foreman, Mr. Leonard,
   allowed me to ascend the wooden stairs
   to the second floor,
   where my father worked
   at the shaking machine,
   which rained bristles down
   into celluloid shells
   that would later become hairbrushes.
   The smell of celluloid,
   sweet and acid at the same time,
   lanced my eyeballs
   and long before had penetrated
   my father's pores
   so that even after a bath
   he carried the smell of the shop with him
   like a disease
   for which there was no cure.
   He always frowned when he saw me there,
   and kept on working
   while I placed the brown bag
   with his two sandwiches,
   either baloney or spiced ham,
   and a piece of fruit,
   a pear maybe or an apple,
   on the windowstll.
   He never spoke
   (I would not have heard him, anyway,
   above the noise of the machines
   that trembled the floor
   beneath my feet)
   but nodded his thanks
   before his eyes showed me the way out.
   Sometimes my father worked
   at the bubbling vat,
   which spilled hot globs of cement
   onto the celluloid shells,
   splashing on his hands,
   blisters the size of dimes
   like evil puddles on his flesh.
   He never complained,
   sat in his kitchen chair after work
   sipping the cold beer
   my mother served him
   from the icebox,
   his shoulders sagging,
   a wan smile on his face
   as she handed him the Times
   before bustling off to the pantry
   to prepare supper.
   Somehow, the beer softened
   the harsh angles of his cheekbones
   and his eyelids often fluttered,
   almost closing,
   and he half-dozed in the smells
   of hamburg frying,
   or sometimes sausage,
   nodding,
   listening to her voice
   the way he listened to music sometimes
   on the radio,
   a half-smile on his lips,
   as if he enjoyed not only what she was saying
   but also the sound of her voice.
   I loved those moments
   just before supper,
   my father half-dozing in the chair
   basking in my mother's voice,
   and my mother
   humming sometimes
   as she peeled potatoes,
   glancing at me once in a while
   as if we shared a secret.
   I didn't know what the secret was,
   I only knew that we both loved
   my father,
   and I knew he loved my mother
   by the way he looked at her
   but I wondered if he loved
   me, too.
   Suddenly,
   my uncle Med
   did not occupy his third-row pew
   at St. Jude's nine o'clock Mass,
   did not punch the time clock
   at seven A.M. Monday at the comb shop,
   did not join the other men
   at the Happy Times after supper.
   My father and Uncle Philippe
   encountered only süenee
   when they knocked at the door
   of his tenement
   while I hung back near the stairway.
   Mr. LeBlanc, the landlord,
   let them in with his key.
   The smell oozing into the hallway
   was stronger than chocolate.
   “Don't light a match'
   Mr. LeBlanc yelled.
   “Go home,”
   my father commanded me
   over his shoulder.
   The sound of windows being thrown open
   followed me downstairs.
   Later, from the pantry,
   I heard the low voices
   from Pépèrc's kitchen.
   “No note!”
   Whispers and murmurs.
   Then Pépèrc's voice.
   If lightning had a tongue
   it would speak the way
   Pépèrc spoke
   at that moment.
   “He will not be buried
   in the Edges!”
   My uncle Med was buried
   beside young Cousin Theo
   in what my father called
   the family plot.
   “Room for ten more,”
   someone said.
   I did not cry.
   My eyes burned
   but tears would not come
   to melt the frozen wasteland
   in my chest.
   My mother and my aunts
   went to Uncle Med's tenement
   for his belongings.
   I walked behind them,
   silent as a shadow.
   In Uncle Med's bedroom,
   I took a small black box
   down from the closet shelf
   and opened it to a dazzle
   of silver and gold,
   a tangle of tie pins,
   some plain, some fancy,
   one shaped like a rifle,
   the ruby on another
   catching the afternoon sun.
   But he never
   wore a tie.
   That night,
   I dreamed about a black and yellow snake
   coiling itself around
   the old elm at St. fude's Cemetery,
   black tongue flickering
   at my feet as I climbed,
   slowly, slowly,
   away from the darting tongue
   while down below
   Uncle Med watched,
   unmoving,
   his eyes as blank
   as coins.
   My screams woke up the tenement,
   my father instantly beside me
   on the bed,
   and I cried at last
   but did not know
   for whom.
   In the wasteland
   of a dying August,
   the last days of vacation,
   as I delivered the Times
   in sun-struck streets,
   my thoughts went to the mysteries
   of the summer,
   wondering what had happened
   to Omer LeFerge
   and in what convent
   Sister Angela now taught the piano.
   On Seventh Street,
   I looked up at the piazza
   where Mrs. Cartin had stood
   like a bird about to take flight.
   Would she someday make that leap?
   I remembered what my mother said:
   “Life is sad sometimes.”
   I thought of the mysteries
   in my own family
   (Did Pépère's prayers
   perform a dark miracle
   for Uncle Jules?)
   and the things I did not want
   to think about,
   like the sins I didn't tell
   Father Balthazar
   in the confessional,
   but most of all,
   most of all,
   the spot in the backyard
   where I had buried
   Uncle Med's tie pins.
   But
   I
   did
   not
   want
   to
   think
   about
   him.
   So I delivered the newspapers,
   the heat coming off the pavement
   l 
					     					 			ike steam from a kettle,
   no dogs barking,
   no cars passing,
   piazzas shrouded
   in afternoon shadows.
   On Fifth Street,
   heading home,
   my heart as empty
   as my newspaper bag,
   I saw
   the airplane.
   First,
   a wink of color,
   orange,
   in the corner of my eye,
   at the far end of an alley
   between two three-deckers.
   I tossed my paper bag
   to the sidewalk
   and followed the flash of orange
   to a backyard,
   where I saw,
   unbelievably,
   an airplane.
   Orange, yes,
   with lightning streaks
   of white
   on the fuselage,
   two wings,
   a biplane,
   the kind of airplane
   aviators flew during the World War
   over the trenches of France and Germany,
   like the airplanes I read about
   in magazines like Wings and Aces
   at Laurier's Drug Store.
   Aviator goggles dangled from the cockpit
   as if left there a moment before
   by the pilot.
   An airplane in a French town backyard?
   Impossible!
   No room to land or take off
   in the narrow backyards
   behind the tall three-deckers.
   Mesmerized,
   I stood there for a moment,
   then left in a frenzy,
   running through the alley,
   heard the gasps of my breathing
   as I searched the streets
   for someone to tell
   of my discovery.
   At home, Raymond
   and Alyre Tournier
   tossed a ball between them,
   the black-taped ball
   thudding into their gloveless palms.
   “There's an airplane in a backyard
   on Fifth Street,”
   I announced.
   They kept throwing the ball to each other.
   “It's real—I saw it.”
   Watching the ball trace
   a rainbow arc between them.
   Desperate, I cried:
   “It's really there.
   An orange airplane.”
   My voice on the still summer air
   echoed through the neighborhood
   and a few kids emerged
   from doorways and piazzas,
   Leon Montaigne and Paul Roget
   and Henri Latour,
   among others.
   “Come on and see,” I urged.
   “Okay, okay,” Raymond said,
   striding toward me with his athlete's walk,
   swinging his shoulders.
   He never got excited about anything
   except home runs, double plays
   and stretching a double into a three-bagger.
   I led the caravan down Mechanic Street,
   the focus of all eyes.
   I had never hit a home run
   but I had discovered an airplane
   in a Frenchtown backyard.
   We turned into Fifth Street
   and they followed me through the alley
   as I looked for the flash of orange
   that suddenly wasn't there.
   Arriving,
   I saw only the abandoned garden,
   and shriveled tomato plants.
   And
   no
   airplane.
   Raymond shook his head,
   looking at me with the kind of contempt
   —or was it pity?—
   he bestowed on players
   who struck out with the bases loaded.
   Leon and Alyre and Henri straggled away,
   glancing at me as they went.
   Somebody laughed,
   maybe Leon,
   and somebody muttered words
   I refused to interpret.
   Later, I walked home alone
   in disgrace.
   That evening,
   in the gentle twilight
   of late summer,
   the families gathered on the piazzas
   and the small patches of lawn
   and talked mildly and gossiped,
   while Raymond and the others
   played ball in the street.
   The men's cigarettes
   glowed like fireflies
   in the gathering dusk
   and the smell of home-brewed beer
   spiced the air.
   I sat alone on the steps,
   the light too dim for reading,
   glad to remain twilight-hidden,
   although Alyre Tournier,
   after catching a fly ball,
   muttered, “An airplane,”
   shaking his head
   with false pity
   as he walked away.
   When darkness obscured
   the flight of the ball,
   the game broke up
   and the players strayed
   toward the piazzas
   in lazy end-of-day strides.
   A sudden stillness fell
   as if fed
   by an evening breeze.
   My father flicked his cigarette butt
   into the air.
   We watched it spiral
   like a small comet
   to the sidewalk.
   Looking off into the deepening dusk,
   he said,
   his voice clear as struck crystal:
   “Funny thing.
   I saw an airplane this morning
   on the way to the shop,
   in the backyard of three-deckers
   on Fifth Street.”
   A match flared as he lit
   another cigarette.
   “But it was gone
   when I looked again
   on the way home.”
   Smoke circled his head
   like a halo.
   He motioned to me.
   “Eugene saw it, too.”
   Raymond looked at me,
   mouth agape with astonishment,
   and Alyre frowned,
   hitching his pants.
   Kids approached,
   as if coming out of hiding places.
   In the descending night,
   I told them again and again
   about the orange airplane,
   the goggles dangling
   from the cockpit.
   And the night was sweeter
   than a cherry soda
   at the Happy Times.
   The next day,
   I waited for my father as usual
   late in the afternoon,
   standing this time
   at the banister of the piazza.
   Seeing him at last,
   I ran to greet him,
   throwing my arms around him,
   losing myself in the aroma
   of celluloid and smoke
   and burned kitchen matches.
   I looked up at him.
   He passed his hand across my head,
   rumpling my hair,
   and said:
   “I know. I know.”
   And we walked home together
   in the tender sunlight
   of a Frenchtown summer.
   Look for the riverting new novel from
   ROBERT CORMIER
   A seven-year-old girl is brutally murdered. A twelve-year-old boy named Jason was the last person to see her alive—except, of course, for the killer. Unless Jason is the killer.
   Coming soon from Delacorte Press
   ISBN: 0-385-72962-6
   Published by
   Dell Laurel-Leaf
   an imprint of
   Random House Children's Books
   a division of Random House, Inc.
   1540 Broadway
   New York, New York 10036
   If you purchase 
					     					 			d this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publisher and neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”
   Copyright © 1999 by Robert Cormier
   Interior art copyright © 1999 by Dan Krovatin
   All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. For information address Delacorte Press, 1540 Broadway, New York, New York 10036.
   The trademark Laurel-Leaf Library® is registered in the U.S. Patent and
   Trademark Office.
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   eISBN: 978-0-307-55628-8
   RL:7.4
   Reprinted by arrangement with Delacorte Press
   June 2001
   v3.0   
    
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