The three weeks between the day I found out I got my job back and the day I reported back to work flew by. I was super excited to go back. I’d missed everyone. I had also missed having a job period, and I hated to admit it but most of all, I missed Alex. I did admit it to Liz. I had to ask her if she thought that was a really bad reason for me to go back, especially since he was back with his wife.
“Is that the only reason?” she said.
“No, not at all. I need a job and I really liked it there. My co-workers are great and the pay is good.”
“Then there is nothing wrong with accepting it. Honey, you can’t help how you feel. Your actions you have to be concerned with. I don’t believe you would ever have an affair with a married man, so I think you’re okay. Just watch your heart. Try not to let it get too broken or you’ll end up cynical like me.”
“At least no one takes advantage of you,” I told her.
“Anymore,” she said.
“Thank you, Liz.”
“It’s what friends are for,” she said again.
I received papers about a week after that day saying that the lawsuit had been dropped on Alex’s end. It was another thing I was apprehensive about. I kept wondering if bringing me back was some kind of stunt for court. I didn’t want to be paranoid, but it had been a really hard few months. The papers were filed the day I’d dropped mine. I guess we both had the same idea. I used the money I got to pay off my lawyers and my storage. That left me a little to live off of and help Liz and Gloria pay bills until I started back to work and got paid again. I had a check-up at the doctor and he said things were going very well with the baby. My life was finally back on track and I couldn’t be happier about it.
I was a little nervous about going to work after what happened the last time I was there. I was wondering how many of the staff knew what had really gone on. Plus, being seven and a half months pregnant was a little different in and of itself. When I got to the front gates, the security man greeted me warmly and welcomed me back. Karen hugged me and fussed over my tummy bulge and the cook wanted to feed me. But best of all, Alex was at the kitchen table and when he heard the cook offer me pancakes and eggs he said, “Yes Vicki. Please join me.”
I nervously sat down next to him and he looked at me with soft eyes and a smile and said, “I’m glad you agreed to come back. We’ve all missed you around here.” It was kind of surreal. So much had happened since the last time I’d sat at this table with him. The cook loaded me down with pancakes laden with butter and syrup. As I took a healthy bite I thought: If my mother could see me now, she’d have a heart attack and remind me how many calories were in what I was eating. I didn’t care. I was happy and it was delicious. “So how are things with the baby?” Alex asked me.
“Everything is good,” I told him. “I’m taking a semester off school after he is born and I’m working on finding someone reliable to watch him so I won’t have to take too much time off.” I had no idea how to hire childcare; it was one of those brand new things to me. I’m sure I’d have a million more of them before my baby was grown.
“Bring him with you,” Alex said, nearly knocking me off my chair. “You don’t want to leave an infant alone with a stranger.”
“No I don’t, but… I mean…”
He smiled. “I’ll hire a nanny. We can go through the agency where they are all background investigated and have references. We’ll make him a nursery. Please consider it,” he said. I was considering how expensive that would be. I wondered if the cost would come out of my wages. He looked like he was about to say something else but Cassandra walked in. In my mind it was like what Dorothy must have felt like the first time she saw the wicked witch. Cassandra gave me a look that said she didn’t approve of her husband eating with the help, but she didn’t seem jealous or angry at all. I had to assume that for all Alex’s big talk about hiring a nanny and making a nursery, his wife didn’t know the baby in my belly was his.
“I should get to work,” I said.
“Yeah, you probably should,” Cassandra said, dismissively. Alex glared at her and then he turned to look at me and again he smiled.
“Welcome back.”
I smiled and nodded at him and as I was walking away I heard Cassandra say, “You didn’t tell me she was about to pop. She’ll only be here a month and we’ll have to hire a replacement. What were you thinking?”
I was too far away to hear Alex’s response, but I could tell that Cassandra’s attitude hadn’t changed at all. As I was doing my work that day I thought about all of the times when I was a kid that I had seen a house like this one and thought about how happy all of the people inside must be. I was sure that with all of that wealth they couldn’t want for anything, but it was obvious when I watched Alex and his wife together that they both wanted for a lot. Neither of them was happy and I couldn’t understand why someone would choose to live that way, simply because of the money.
My days fell back into a routine easily. I knew the layout of the mansion like the back of my hand and I knew how both Alex and Cassandra liked things done. Cassandra seemed to be around all of the time to tell me in case I didn’t. In spite of that, I was still glad to be back. It was good to see my old friends again too. Manny found out that I was having a boy and started a campaign for me to name the baby after him. Every time I saw him, he’d present me with a different version of the name that I could call my son.
“What about Manuel?” he said.
“Too ethnic for a blonde haired, blue eyed boy,” I told him. I honestly hadn’t thought about names yet. I’d been too preoccupied with other things.
He laughed and the next time I saw him he said, “Manly.”
I cracked up and just said, “Um...no.”
A few days later I was cleaning the banister and he walked by in the foyer below and said, “Man.”
Laughing I said, “Too old for a baby.”
“Little man,” he said with a grin.
“I’ll consider it.” I had almost worked my way to the bottom when I saw Karen letting three men into the front door. They looked like construction workers and were armed with tools and cans of paint. They smiled at me as they passed me on the stairs and I watched as Karen led them up to the room at the end of the hall from the master suite. On her way back down I asked, “Who are they?”
“They’re designing a nursery,” she said with a smile.
“Really? I thought he was only joking.”
Karen took my hand and said, “Let’s sit for a minute.” I’m not sure if she knew what she was asking of a woman who was almost eight months pregnant. I had to squat and spread my legs wide and kind of fall back onto the stairs. “I’ve worked for Alexander since he was twenty-two years old. This will be my eighth year here. Before that, I worked for his parents for fifteen years so I’ve known him for most of his life.”
“Wow, that’s great,” I said.
“I’ve noticed something about him lately, Victoria.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
I was assuming that she was going to say something about the baby but I was surprised when she said, “In all of those years, I’ve never seen him look even a tenth as happy as he looks when you’re around.”
“Um…” I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say to that. It made me feel good and bad at the same time. Karen wasn’t looking for a response though.
Karen smiled. “Alexander is a brilliant man. His IQ is beyond genius level, did you know that?”
“No. I mean I knew he was smart, that’s obvious. I had no idea how smart I guess.”
“That kind of intelligence comes with a price. He’s been taught social skills. He was raised to be a perfect gentleman, but when it comes to relating to real, live human beings on any kind of intimate level, he really hasn’t ever had much practice at that. He worked to build his company for years. When he turned twenty-five and had his trust fund at his disposal, he could have easily used that to live on for the rest of his life. He chose only to use enough of it to expand his company and the rest of what you see was all Alex’s hard work. Throughout all of that he didn’t have time to date or maybe it was a shy thing, but either way, he just didn’t. I wasn’t surprised when the announcement came that he and Cassandra were engaged. I honestly think he married Cassandra just because he’s known her since he was a kid and it was easy. He lost his mind for a while when she left because he’d been too busy in school to sow his wild oats before he met her. I could tell though that even that didn’t make him happy.
What I am trying to say is what happened between you and him… he didn’t know how to handle that. That’s why he turned to his attorneys. They only have an interest in his money. It’s their job and they do it well. He even took Cassandra back, based on their recommendations. It’s obvious when you see them together that it’s not where they belong. He was miserable when she first came back but then suddenly you were back and he was designing a room for your baby. He’s happier doing that than I’ve ever seen him. I would be willing to bet that he has no idea how to express any of that to you.”
“He hasn’t shared much with me on a strictly personal level, no. He does seem excited about the nursery and hiring a nanny. I really appreciate his help.”
“He is excited. He’s excited about the baby. He’s not just doing this to help. He’s wanted one for a long time. I can see the yearning in his eyes when he looks at other people’s children. Now you’re giving him one of his own.”
“You know it’s his?” I had a feeling that she did, but I hadn’t told her so I wasn’t sure.
She nodded. “Alexander shared it with me in confidence. You don’t have to worry. I won’t tell anyone.”
“I’m not worried,” I told her. “Just surprised.”
“He’s going through a lot and he doesn’t have many people he can trust to talk to. I’m hoping that by telling you all of this about him you’ll keep it in mind and not get too discouraged while he’s trying to figure all of this out. Keep in mind that he’ll have to deal with Cassandra and then stave off the lawyers and then there would be his parents.” Karen obviously thought I expected him to marry me or at least be in some kind of relationship with me.
“Oh Karen, I’m not thinking along those lines. I know Alex has commitments. I wouldn’t expect him to give any of that up for me. We’re not anywhere near there.”
“He should be expected to change his priorities. He’s going to be a father,” she said. Karen was old school and I didn’t doubt it pained her that I put myself in the position of becoming pregnant without being married. She wasn’t being judgmental about it though and I appreciated that. “He needs to make some changes. If not for you, then for the child you share, and I think he would even be willing to. I think the nursery is proof that he’s considering it, but he’s going to have to do battle with a few people before that can happen. I just wanted to make you aware. It’s scary to gamble with your future. But, I think if you’re willing to wait for him Vicki, he wants exactly what you can offer him.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. She was in a long-winded kind of way, telling me that Alex has feelings for me and the baby and that eventually he will be ready to tell all of the people who are pulling the strings in his life that we are what he wants. I hope she’s right. I won’t let myself get too attached to the fantasy, but I definitely have one. In it, Alex and I are together and raising our child together, the way it should be. The way I think it should be anyways. The way I’d really, really like it to be.
“Thank you, Karen.”
“You’re welcome. I’m so glad you haven’t given up on him yet. It had to have been hard over the past few months.”
“It was, but as hard as it is to be looked at as a gold-digger it was harder being away from him.” I couldn’t believe I’d just admitted that out loud to anyone other than Liz.
Karen seemed pleased by it. She gave me a one-arm hug and said, “I’m rooting for you. If it means anything, you would be the last person that I would suspect of gold-digging.”