Page 36 of Love, Rosie


  Wildflower: Is everything OK?

  Buttercup: No not really.

  SureOne: Do you want to tell us about it? Maybe we can help.

  Buttercup: Well my mother died, I lost my job, and I’m afraid to say the words of the “something else” in case it validates it and causes me to have a nervous breakdown. Because if it becomes true, then it would officially declare the past 10 years of my life to be utterly useless and a waste of time.

  LonelyLady: Well we’re all experts on that subject. You know by now that what goes on in this room, stays in this room, maybe we can shed some light on it for you.

  Buttercup: Thanks. OK then, here goes . . . I came across a letter that was written just after my 30th birthday. A letter that was meant for me but that never made it into my hands. It was from Alex.

  LonelyLady: Oooh, what did he say in the letter?

  Buttercup: Here’s the tough part. He said he loved me.

  Wildflower: Whooooah!

  SureOne: Oh. My. God.

  LonelyLady: No! So where did you find the letter?

  Buttercup: What’s-his-name returned it to me. He “didn’t want to be the cause of my loneliness anymore,” he said.

  LonelyLady: He had kept it all these years?

  Buttercup: Why he would keep it all these years I have no idea. I haven’t quite figured that out yet. Although I never truly figured him out at all while I was married to him. I can’t really think anything now, I’m in so much shock.

  Wildflower: So have you spoken to Alex?

  Buttercup: How can I speak to him, Wildflower? Knowing what I know, how can I even think of him?

  Wildflower: Very easily I would imagine. He’s just told you that he loves you!

  Buttercup: No LonelyLady, he told me over 10 years ago that he loved me. Before he got married, before he had Theo. I just couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. He’s been writing and phoning but the thought of that missed opportunity makes me so sick to the stomach that I can’t respond to his messages.

  LonelyLady: But you have to tell him, you know!

  Buttercup: I was going to. I was half fearful, half excited. I was going to ring him on the phone and say it to him casually at first to test the waters and see how he felt and then go a bit further. But that morning his annual Christmas card arrived in the post box. With the photo of his wife and two sons on the cover of the card, all wearing colorful knitted Christmas jumpers, Theo with his two front teeth gone, Josh with his beaming smile just like his dad. Bethany hand in hand with Alex. And I couldn’t tell him. What would he care now anyway?

  He’s married. He’s happy. He’s over me and even if he’s not, I wouldn’t expect him to jump out of that perfect Christmas photo for me.

  SureOne: Take it from me Buttercup, you’re right to leave the family alone.

  Wildflower: But she loves him! And he loves her! And everyone airbrushes their photos these days!

  SureOne: What age are you now Buttercup, 42?

  Buttercup: Yes.

  SureOne: Right. He wrote that letter 12 years ago, before he got married. It’s not right to bring it up now. She could break too many little hearts by telling him.

  LonelyLady: SureOne would know, seeing as it happened to her.

  Wildflower: Oh don’t listen to those two Buttercup, you hop on a plane and go to Alex and tell the man that you love him.

  Buttercup: But what if he doesn’t feel that way about me anymore? I’ve never ever picked up on any vibes from him over the past 10 years.

  SureOne: Because he’s married. He’s a good man Buttercup. He follows the rules.

  Wildflower: Oh rules were made to be broken!

  SureOne: Not when people get hurt Wildflower.

  Buttercup: She’s right Wildflower.

  Wildflower: Oh don’t let people walk all over you Buttercup. It’s your life. If you want something, you need to get out there and grab it by the horns because no one is going to give you what you want on a plate. Good girls always come second.

  SureOne: Good girls have a conscience and that way they can live with themselves. And anyway we haven’t even thought about the fact that Alex’s feelings may have diminished for Buttercup over time.

  Wildflower: Oh why don’t we just slit her wrists for her SureOne?

  Buttercup: She’s right Wildflower. I need to cover all angles before I jump into this headfirst. God I feel sick. OK so what happens when I tell Alex that I received his letter and his feelings have changed? What do I do then? Things between us could or would never get back to normal ever again and I would lose my very best friend and I don’t think I could cope with that.

  Wildflower: Yes but then what if when you tell him how you feel, he grabs you passionately, relieved you finally know his true feelings, and the two of you live happily ever after.

  SureOne: Yeah sure, in between one messy divorce, child custody court fights, a heartbroken ex-wife . . .

  Wildflower: And a partridge in a pear tree.

  SureOne: If you can live with yourself by doing that, then by all means go ahead, but I for one couldn’t.

  Wildflower: But she can’t pretend nothing happened.

  SureOne: Your friendship will remain strong with Alex and the happiness in his life will also remain intact, just as it did when Alex heard no reply from you all those years ago. He kept on as normal, as though nothing had ever happened.

  Buttercup: Why did he keep on as normal? I remember him asking about a letter and I told him I didn’t get it. Why didn’t he just tell me then?

  Wildflower: He could have chickened out.

  SureOne: Or he saw that you were in love with your husband.

  Buttercup: This is all very confusing. LonelyLady, you’ve been very quiet. What do you think?

  LonelyLady: Well I of all people know what it’s like to feel all alone and there were times that I thought I would do just about anything to find love, but SureOne has put it into perspective. Knowing the hurt she has gone through, I wouldn’t look for my own happiness at the expense of others. I would carry on as normal, as though nothing had happened.

  Wildflower: You 3 are unbelievable. Learn to live a little. Do unto others as others have done to you. You have all been screwed with by people.

  Buttercup: Yes we have and as much as I don’t like Bethany she has never done anything to hurt me.

  Wildflower: Apart from marrying Alex.

  Buttercup: I don’t own Alex.

  Wildflower: But you could.

  Buttercup: People can never own people but whether I can be with him or not right now, the answer is no. Not now. Maybe in another time.

  FatherMichael has entered the room

  Wildflower: Ah don’t tell me you’re through a divorce yourself Father?

  SureOne: Don’t be silly Wildflower, have a bit of respect! He’s here for the ceremony.

  Wildflower: I know that. I was just trying to lighten the atmosphere.

  FatherMichael: So have the loving couple arrived yet?

  SureOne: No but it’s customary for the bride to be late.

  FatherMichael: Well is the groom here?

  SingleSam has entered the room

  Wildflower: Here he is now. Hello there SingleSam. I think this is the first time ever that both the bride and groom will have to change their names.

  SingleSam: Hello all.

  Buttercup: Where’s the bride?

  LonelyLady: Probably fixing her makeup.

  Wildflower: Oh don’t be silly. No one can even see her.

  LonelyLady: SingleSam can see her.

  SureOne: She’s not doing her makeup; she’s supposed to keep the groom waiting.

  SingleSam: No she’s right here on the laptop beside me. She’s just having problems with her password logging in.

  SureOne: Doomed from the start.

  Divorced_1 has entered the room

  Wildflower: Wahoo! Here comes the bride, all dressed in . . .

  SingleSam: Black
.

  Wildflower: How charming.

  Buttercup: She’s right to wear black.

  Divorced_1: What’s wrong with misery guts today?

  LonelyLady: She found a letter from Alex that was written 12 years ago proclaiming his love for her and she doesn’t know what to do.

  Divorced_1: Here’s a word of advice. Get over it, he’s married. Now let’s focus the attention on me for a change.

  SoOverHim has entered the room

  FatherMichael: OK let’s begin. We are gathered here online today to witness the marriage of SingleSam (soon to be “Sam”) and Divorced_1 (soon to be “Married_1”).

  SoOverHim: WHAT?? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? THIS IS A MARRIAGE CEREMONY IN A DIVORCED PEOPLE CHAT ROOM??

  Wildflower: Uh-oh, looks like we got ourselves a gate crasher here. Excuse me can we see your wedding invite please?

  Divorced_1: Ha ha.

  SoOverHim: YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK, COMING IN HERE AND TRYING TO UPSET OTHERS WHO ARE GENUINELY TROUBLED.

  Buttercup: Oh we are genuinely troubled alright. And could you please STOP SHOUTING.

  LonelyLady: You see SoOverHim, this is where SingleSam and Divorced_1 met for the first time.

  SoOverHim: OH I HAVE SEEN IT ALL NOW!

  Buttercup: Sshh!

  SoOverHim: Sorry. Mind if I stick around?

  Divorced_1: Sure grab a pew; just don’t trip over my train.

  Wildflower: Ha ha.

  FatherMichael: OK we should get on with this; I don’t want to be late for my 2 o’clock. First I have to ask, is there anyone in here who thinks there is any reason why these two should not be married?

  LonelyLady: Yes.

  SureOne: I could give more than one reason.

  Buttercup: Hell yes.

  SoOverHim: DON’T DO IT!

  FatherMichael: Well I’m afraid this has put me in a very tricky predicament.

  Divorced_1: Father we are in a divorced chat room, of course they all object to marriage. Can we get on with it?

  FatherMichael: Certainly. Do you Sam take Penelope to be your lawful wedded wife?

  SingleSam: I do.

  FatherMichael: Do you Penelope take Sam to be your lawful wedded husband?

  Divorced_1: I do (yeah, yeah my name is Penelope).

  FatherMichael: You have already e-mailed your vows to me so by the online power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. Now if the witnesses could click on the icon to the right of the screen they will find a form to type their names, addresses, and phone numbers. Once that’s filled in just e-mail it off to me. I’ll be off now. Congratulations again.

  FatherMichael has left the room

  Wildflower: Congrats Sam and Penelope!

  Divorced_1: Thanks girls for being here.

  SoOverHim: Freaks.

  SoOverHim has left the room

  Wildflower: Funny, we’ve been chatting about our most intimate life details for years now and we never even knew each other’s real names. I’m just looking down the witness form right now, LonelyLady I see your name is Lynne, SureOne, I see yours is Sinead . . . the name Rosie Dunne . . . it suits you Buttercup.

  Buttercup: Why thank you Wildflower.

  Wildflower: Right, you love birds I’m off. Enjoy your honeymoon and I expect to never see you in here again. LonelyLady good luck with that date. SureOne enjoy the start of the rest of your life, and Rosie Dunne, what are you going to do?

  Ruby: What do you mean you’re moving to Co. Galway?

  Rosie: I mean exactly that. I’m leaving that horrible flat in Dublin once and for all and I’m moving to Connemara for good.

  Ruby: But why?

  Rosie: Ruby there’s nothing there for me in Dublin. Apart from you of course. I have had a string of unsatisfactory jobs, have no family there, had my heart broken twice there, have no money, and no man. I don’t see a reason why I should stay.

  Ruby: Well forgive me for being the bearer of bad news but you have no job in Galway, no family, and no man. Unless you’re going to take to herding sheep.

  Rosie: Oh yes the common city person’s misconception of the country. There are shops and restaurants here too you know. Anyway I may not have all those things but I have a house.

  Ruby: Have you gone nuts Rosie?

  Rosie: Probably! But think about it. I have a great big modern-built 4-bedroom house right on the coast in Connemara.

  Ruby: Exactly! What are you going to do all on your own with no job, in a 4-bedroom house, hanging off the cliff in Connemara?

  Rosie: You could be close to guessing!

  Ruby: Well I was thinking very much of you committing suicide so I hope I’m not.

  Rosie: No silly! I’m opening up a Bed and Breakfast! And I know I’ve always said I hate B&Bs but I’m planning on turning the house more into my own mini hotel. And I am going to be manager/owner extraordinaire!

  Ruby: Wow.

  Rosie: What do you think?

  Ruby: I think that . . . wow. I can’t think of anything sarcastic to say actually. I think that’s a great idea. Are you sure you want to do this?

  Rosie: Ruby I’ve never been surer in my life! I’ve done my research, with my inheritance from Mum and Dad I can afford the insurance. I’ve asked all the B&Bs around and the place is crawling with tourists. It’s a bit tough in November and December but they generally make enough in the rest of the months to get through that.

  The area is beautiful, the coastline is dramatic and rugged, the boglands have a foggy mysteriousness to them, the sea just crashes and whips against the cliffs letting everyone who lives here know who’s boss. It’s just nature and all the elements at their best, who wouldn’t want to come here? Who wouldn’t want to live here?

  Ruby: Well I wouldn’t but I appreciate what you’re saying. I think it’s a great idea Rosie. Congratulations you little genius. I hope that whatever it was that sent you packing isn’t going to chase you away any farther.

  Rosie Dunne will be your hostess in Buttercup House. The building is a modern four-bedroom home approved by Bord Failte, the Irish Tourist Board. All of the rooms are en-suite with private baths and toilets. Double, twin, and family rooms are all available. The rooms are centrally heated and there is a telephone in each room.

  Buttercup House is the ideal location to explore Connemara, enjoy hill-walking, mile-long sandy beaches, angling, fishing in Lough Corrib, Ireland’s largest natural inland water mass, a favorite with fishermen for salmon and brown trout. Scuba-diving, sailing, and surfing are accessible along the coastline.

  Connemara National Park is a 2,000-hectare state-owned conservation center with mountains, bogs, grasslands, and spectacular wildlife. Traces of ancient settlements can be seen, including 4,000-year-old megalithic tombs. There are golf courses aplenty, with rocky hills and ocean inlets providing the ultimate challenge for the keen golfer. Walking, horse riding, and cycling are wonderful ways to explore the terrain, and mountaineering is also popular with rock-climbing enthusiasts.

  The television lounge is comfortably furnished with log fire, board games, and plenty of books for our guests to relax with after their active days. Breakfast is served in the dining room and the conservatory offers panoramic views of the mountains and Atlantic Ocean.

  Rates are €35 per person per night.

  Contact Rosie Dunne to make your reservation now!

  FROM: Katie

  TO: Mum

  SUBJECT: Wow!

  Wow, Mum that looks fantastic! The photographs look so beautiful, you’ve really done so much to the place. You are finally Rosie Dunne, General Manager and Owner of Buttercup House! I’ll come over next week and help with all that’s left to do and we can go shopping for more things to fill this big house! Grandma and Granddad would be so proud of you using the house like this. They always said it was such a waste of space only having the two of them there.

  Well done! See you next week.

  D
ear Rosie,

  I just wanted to no if everything between us is OK? You’ve been sounding a little, well, odd on the phone lately. Have I done something to upset you in any way? I can’t think of anything that I may have said to piss you off but do let me no. It seems I have to do nothing these days in order to succeed in upsetting the women in my life. Bethany starts a fight with me if I even look at her these days. If I have unintentionally done the same to you Rosie, please let me no.

  Bethany is going crazy about organizing Theo’s tenth birthday party next week. She has invited more of her own friends than Theo’s and Josh keeps stealing my car and driving it around all night with his new girlfriend. She’s a sweet girl but I don’t no what she sees in my son, that’s for sure. He’s a madman. I can’t seem to get him to settle down and study (I sounded like my own dad just then). He’s supposed to be starting college next September but considering the fact he hasn’t applied for anywhere and can’t figure out what he wants to do other than drive my car, I’m presuming that he’ll be taking a year out before he heads off to educate himself further.

  Luckily Theo thinks Josh is nuts. He’s actually afraid of him. So we’re hoping that Theo can be the son that we can talk about and admit to having. That of course is a joke.

  Things at the hospital are going well. I’m still doing the same old thing but my life has been made massively easier due to the retirement of Reginald Williams. I can breathe now without having to explain it. Working with your father-in-law is as advisable as living with his daughter. Joking once again, of course. Well, kind of, but we won’t go into that.

  I have to go now but I wanted to make sure things were OK between us. The brochure for the B&B looks fantastic! I wish you well with it Rosie, you deserve the best!

  Love,

  Alex

  FROM: Rosie

  TO: Alex

  SUBJECT: Sorry

  I apologize for sounding off with you on the phone. I was a little distracted by a few things that popped up from the past in my life that I was previously unaware of. They were holding me back for a little while but they’ve let go of me now and I’m back on course.